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and the winner is….

and the winner is….

April 18, 2007

I am getting ready to bring my 6yr old to the doctor. He woke up this morning with a croupy sort of cough and complaining ( i.e. screaming on the top of his lungs while writhing on the floor) that his ear was hurting.

His ear hurts. He screams.
I see the doctor more than
most people see friends.

Just another haiku to make up for the fact that I botched the last one. ACK. As much as I would like to go back and change it I will leave it alone. (Though I will say that in my head I was saying the word along with one syllable. I have no idea why.) It is a shining example of what happens to your brain after you have children. I have a new tagline. Unable to haiku since 1994.

First I must give a couple honorable mentions:

This one made me laugh. And now I can look at my cellulite and call it my tiny life preservers.

jay, for this one:


thousands of tiny
life preservers that float but
refuse to deflate

This one because I can relate, although my boobs never came back once I stop lactating, they just up and disappeared.


I want my boobs back
Fourteen months seems oh so long
To be lactating

This one, which was sad.


Rain reflects heart tears
As parents grieve Hokie child
Hug your babies close

And Christine because she got a troll to come to her blog after leaving this. And that always deserves recognition :

Kids pissing me off.
At least I had sex last night.
Coffee and Zoloft.

Jeana, a woman after my own heart:

Vodka Martini
Smirnoff Coolers, Hard Liquor
Margarita, Wine

And the winner is:

babette says:

April was gloomy
Until sunrise on Friday:
First grandson was born!

Kristen says:

Taxes due today.
should have kept better records.
I hope I like jail.

Yes, two winners. You know should one of them not be able to fulfill their duties as the master of Bad Haiku Tuesday.

Babette because it made me smile. Hurray for grandbabies!

And Kristen because we all feel the same way. Receipts? What? Also, since she will be in jail maybe I can have that adorable baby of hers.

So you two email me your address so I can send you your super duper yet to be determined prize. If the box has air holes do not be alarmed. Toddlers like air.

Thanks for playing. And just for the record, it is raining here today.

Posted by Chris @ 11:57 am  

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  1. Christy says:

    Poor little one with the hurting ear. Hope your day gets better. (At least it’s rain and not snow!!)

  2. Christine says:

    If I were not a Christian, I would probably make lots of sexual references about Kristen’s future in jail. Ah, well. Could someone else do that for me?

    I colored a massive vat of rice today! Because I have absolutely no patience, I gingerly used the blow dryer to speed up the process. Guess how much rice can blow out of a roasting pan just by turning the silly thing on?

  3. cristen says:

    good post and good idea on the haiku.

    hope he feels better. i am getting ready to take MY 5-yr-old to the dr. for some sort of vaginal infection–I may have you beat.

  4. Kasey says:

    you should still come down
    to texas where the sun shines
    even when it rains!

    I hope your son gets well soon!

  5. Rachel says:

    great haiku! I forced/encouraged/required my girls to do haiku today!

  6. Rachel says:

    oh - and here’s my daughter’s blog - she wrote up her haiku!

  7. kiki says:

    i really enjoyed the bad haiku contest. bad poetry is not celebrated nearly enough.

  8. the speckledpup says:

    these absolutely made my week.
    too funny.
    that and the video of you dropping the gluten free rolls. I go back and watch that all the time.
    oh my

  9. Eve says:

    Yes I agree, it was a really fun idea. It reminded me of my really lame creative writing class in Highschool when all we were required to do was turn in two original works a week. If I was late on anything I was writing I would just turn in two haiku’s. Thanks for the memories!

  10. Anna says:

    “toddlers like air” *snort*

  11. babette says:

    I’m glad I made you smile because you make me smile with every post, Chris. Thank you! My baby is 8, so a couple of toddlers would be just what the doctor ordered.

    I hope your little boy feels better soon.

  12. Ashley says:

    Ooh! I was mentioned honorably! As far as wanting my boobs back, I just want to be the sole custodian of them although they may completely deflate. I am getting a little tired of sticky chubby little hands clawing at my shirt all day!

  13. jen says:

    “If the box has holes in it” - hahahaha! And really, bad poetry - there is something so good about it!