May 10, 2007
I hate little girls. There I said it.
Why are they so mean and catty? Boys just aren’t like that. I hate that I am embracing this stereotype, but having 6 boys and seeing all their friends and acquaintances I feel pretty confident making this proclamation.
Today we were at baseball and the non ball playing kids were running around playing, rolling down this big grassy hill. My daughter spied a group of three girls all wearing bright pink shirts, like some sort of gang. They were several years older at least.
And they were mean. They asked her questions just to make fun of her. They told her to roll down the hill and then teased her that they saw her underwear and ran away from her. They called her a scaredy cat and made fun of her cute babyish voice. I didn’t realize they were being so mean as it was happening. I stupidly thought her older brothers who were playing alongside her would have stepped in and said something.
But when I did find out I gave them my evil eye. Which did not seem to phase them at all. What is up with kids nowadays, I say as I shake my cane. I would have been scared by a grown-up throwing me the evil eye.
It broke my heart that kids would be mean to a little girl who just turned four, a baby still who wanted nothing more than to run around the field with them.
I wanted to run up to the ring leader of the group, a chubby girl in a bright pink shirt and matching bright pink elastic waist shorts and yank her shorts down and yell, “I see your underwear.” But I didn’t. Aside from the fact that it would be all sorts of wrong, it probably is against the law. I can see the news story now:
Mother of Seven De-pants Girl
Witnesses say she must have had a break in her sanity, probably caused by all those children. She was clearly delusional chanting that she could see foreign countries, specifically London and France. Witnesses were not sure if any other countries were mentioned. ‘She always seemed so calm and put together. It is shocking.’
As much as I know deep down that my level of sadness is irrational given the incident, I can’t help but feel a bit heartbroken for my daughter. Or is it for myself? This whole letting them grow up shit stinks. I don’t want to cut the cord yet, thankyouverymuch. And while I also realize that it is my own personal baggage coloring this, that knowledge doesn’t make me feel any better.
I want to cry and apologize to her. For all the hurts she is ever going to feel. For all the times when people will treat her unkindly. For all of the times I won’t be able to make it right. For the times I won’t understand. For all the ways that I will inevitably fail her.
For all of it.
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