a proud moment, for sure
May 16, 2007
I am writing this story out so that one day when my children are all grown and come back to me enumerating the ways that I wronged them and damaged their precious little psyches, I’ll have my side of the story already written.
Tonight we were driving home and my younger children were misbehaving so terribly in the car that I contemplated just driving headlong into a tree to stop the screaming, bickering, and wailing that was coming from the back of the van. (My older children were not with me.)
I tried reasoning, “We will be home soon. Fighting with each other isn’t going to make the drive go by any faster!”
I tried bribing, “If you all knock it off when I stop to get gas I’ll buy everyone a loillipop.”
I tried threatening, “Don’t make me pull over!”
I tried shouting, “For the love of all things, KNOCK IT OFF and BEHAVE!”
But nothing worked. No one cared about anything other than the fact that someone was breathing on them, or looking at them, or thinking of looking at them. No matter how loud I turned up the music I could not drown them out.
I pulled into the gas station that is about 10 minutes from our house.
“Yay! LOLLIPOPS!!!” someone screamed from the back seat.
“Oh, I don’t think so. You did NOT behave on the drive here.” I retorted.
Oh the horror. Oh how they were wronged. They wailed and screamed and let me, and every other person within a five mile radius, know their displeasure with every fiber of their being. As I stood outside of the van and pumped the gas, they felt compelled to open the windows and shout how they were being good. Couldn’t I see that they were going to be good now, starting at this moment.
Or in the words of my daughter, “I am BEing HAVE!”
When I went into the gas station to pay I saw the lollipops sitting there, and I was tempted. Because then they would be quiet for the rest of the drive home. I could have ten minutes of quiet. But at what price.
But, mmmmm candy.
I reached into the display.
As I got into the van the kids noticed I had a lollipop in my mouth.
“Yay! She bought candy!” they rejoiced.
“Gimmee. Gimmee.” they shouted.
“Oh, I am sorry. I only bought lollipops for people who were ‘being have.’ And that would be just me.”
They were stunned into silence.
As for me, I enjoyed the lollipop more than I thought possible.
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