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titles are good

titles are good

May 23, 2007

Recently Rob’s muffler fell off his car, the car that just won’t die. We have been looking half-heartedly for a new car for him for probably a year. We keep thinking that the car isn’t going to last much longer, and yet it keeps on surprising us by lasting another month.

We bought it new about 12 years ago and with all the hellish commutes that Rob has enjoyed over the years, it has about a million miles on it.

You can’t lock the car doors because then you won’t be able to get back into the car unless you open the trunk and crawl through the drop down arm rest in the back seat. Why yes, I have had to do it before.

The speakers in the front don’t work, so when you listen to the radio (or tape deck) you have to turn it up really loud and the children in the back seat usually complain about that.

The paint job has been marred by a certain unnamed child who drew on it with rocks and another unnamed child who rode their bicycle along side the car and scratched the length with their handlebar.

I have no idea where I was going with all of this. Except to give an explanation of why someone would not immediately rush out and have their muffler fixed.

As you can imagine, not having a muffler makes his car very, VERY loud.

Now whenever we are outside and a truck drives by a neighboring street, or a motorcycle drives by the house, or even if a neighbor starts up their lawnmower, Miles runs through the front yard screaming, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!”

Sometimes I feel like we should be living in a trailer park somewhere instead.

Posted by Chris @ 8:39 am  

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  1. Heather says:

    At least it will scare away the bears.

  2. but Momma says:

    I cannot quit giggling thinking about Miles!

    You made my day.


  3. Sunny says:

    And I’m guessing the screaming and running through the yard happens when Daddy IS home. As in in the house.

    We love ya Chris.

  4. meritt says:

    Oh yes… in our entire 18 year marriage it seems we’ve always had 1 car that was similar to this. Right now it’s my 16 year old daughters. A 1993 Firebird. I can always tell when she turns down our street…. 2 blocks away. LOL.

  5. Christine says:

    We are currently babying along a ‘93 Sentra. The kids think it’s fun to play “Find all the stuff wrong with the car.” It keeps them busy for HOURS!

  6. peepnroosmom says:

    You crack me up.

  7. debby says:

    My son has my 1993 Ford Taurus station wagon. I had to drive it recently and told him I couldn’t get the windshield wipers to turn on. “No problem,” he said, “just turn on the high beams first.” Silly me.

  8. Gretchen says:

    LOL literally I did laugh out loud! Poor Miles!

    We’ve got a lousy car here too. A 94 Escort. We’re “shopping around” to replace it, but as long as it keeps passing inspection for less money than it takes to buy another car, Chris won’t get rid of it. I am getting scared to drive it, because one of these days it will break irrepairably, and I don’t want to be in it when it does!

  9. maggie says:

    I had a beat up Ford Fiesta for a really long time. It actually sounded like a motorcycle on purpose…my husband had messed around with the carburators, and the exhaust system, all in the name of performance!

  10. inthefastlane says:

    We have a car just like this! Is yours a Honda Civic too? We did replace our muffler…with a muffler that my FIL got at a junkyard that turned out to be a turbo muffler, so it is still loud. Jack Jack (who is almost two) can hear daddy coming a block away, and runs to the back door.

  11. Jess says:

    DH had a car like that about 3 yrs ago. It was a 98 Toyota Tercel. You could hear him 3 blocks away. It was always a good notification that I need to get up and act like I was doing something before he got in the front door.

  12. Chris says:


    Ours is a 95 Nissan Altima. AND it gets great gas mileage.

  13. Polly says:

    Note to self ~
    Do not read Chris’ blog on the way TO the bathroom…Only way FROM bathroom.

  14. Jann says:

    We have a 92 Subaru Impreza. Shortly after we got it, my younger daughter stuck a piece of wood into the driver’s side door lock which then broke off INSIDE the lock. Ever since, the locks click on and off at random, especially when it’s hot. Fortunately, the driver’s side doesn’t lock on its own, or the keys would constantly be getting locked in. The back seat sports a 10+ year old fossilized blob of McDonald’s short-lived green apple chicken nuggets dipping sauce that would never come off. Probably couldn’t be digested, either. Recently my husband backed into it with his truck, making a large V-shaped dent in the trunk. Not a week later, his co-worker backed into the left rear fender with HIS truck, leaving another large dent. Both left blinkers (front and back) are missing. Thank goodness the muffler still works…I don’t want ANYone to hear (or see) us coming!

  15. april says:

    We drove my ‘87 Ford Thunderbird that I bought when I was in highschool for the first 10 years of our marriage. In it’s last hours it had no AC, no radio, no passenger side door handle, it smoked, you couldn’t roll down the window without a lot of tweaking, the roof material was falling down, a broken mirror and on and on….it just wasn’t pretty and my husband would drive that thing to work in his suit. During the summer he would take off his dress shirt and tie and drive home so he wouldn’t get his nice shirt all sweaty. My kids cried when the tow truck came to take it away.

  16. J says:

    We once had a car drop it’s entire exhaust system in the driveway. Whole thing. I think it was the winter of ‘94. We were living on the second floor of an old farmhouse with our landlady on the first floor. When I walked out of the house and saw muffler and pipes on the ground, I burst out laughing. The landlady stuck her head out a door, not in sight of the lost car parts, and asked what was so funny. I told her my husband had lost his muffler. She replied, “Oh, bring it in. I hate wet wool.” I roared even louder.

  17. CaliforniaGrammy says:

    Looks like many of us have had a similar car situation . . . But Mile’s part of the story is absolutely hilarious!

  18. Holli says:

    Good thing you don’t live in NJ! Tickets are given out for having loud mufflers.

  19. Antique Mommy says:

    The good thing about not having a new car is that you don’t have to worry about parking too close, bicycle scratches and all the other stuff that eventually happens. There is a peace in driving that kind of car.

  20. Mary says:

    I have to tell you that I loved that story. It made me laugh to the point that the dog looked a little concerned about me. Thanks!

  21. Jill says:

    Too funny…and I can so relate. My husband had a car like that. When he traded it in he got $200…we keep saying we should have paid the car dealer just to take the darn thing!

  22. crazy8s says:

    Having no car payments makes it all worth it!

  23. Liz in Australia says:

    I was driving a car like that (’81 Mazda) when I met my husband. Fairly shortly after we moved in together DH started driving my bomb to work and I got to drive his then-five year old station wagon. With air conditioning! I was in heaven!

    Sentimentality meant I didn’t want to part with it and buy another car for ages, although that was probably due to the fact that I wasn’t driving it any more ;-) Eventually it got taken away by a scrap metal dealer because it wasn’t even worth anything as spare parts any more…

    Miles is too funny.

  24. Melanie says:

    Promise me that when it dies, you’ll put it out in the yard on cement blocks. Maybe plant some marigolds in the front seat or something. You can pretty much bring the trailer park to you!

  25. Jennifer says:

    It’s good to have a car like that. It builds character. For the car.

    Right now I’m the one with the 1993 VW and my husband has the nice (newish) car. When mine dies (but like Rob’s car, it keeps surprising me by living another month longer) I will get a new one and my husband will have the old one. And so on until we are wealthily retired and both drive hot sports cars with the top down in the middle of winter because we will be living somewhere beautiful where it’s warm all year around. Of course.

  26. Michelle says:

    I was just posting about my Limited Edition Linda Blair minivan that beeps like the door is open, fires off the ABS randomly when I stop and floods periodically.

    I want an XJ Cruiser so bad it hurts.

  27. Kellie says:

    I’m one of the recent GH converts (addicts?)to your blog and your husband’s car reminds me of my family’s 1996 minivan with 180,000 miles. It is now my husband’s hauling vehicle for all the needs/ trash our newly purchased old home is requiring/ producing. We hate to part with it despite its death throes since it is a signed original - of course the then six year old tried to blame her non-letter forming 2 year old brother for her name written on the driver’s door with a stick. We are threatening to bequeath it to her next year when she gets her license!

  28. Chandra says:

    Our muffler just fell of our Civic, a.c. doesn’t work, front is scraped up and hubcap or two is missing. I hear ya! One day we will replace it. Your description made me laugh.
    Have a great day! Love your blog :)

  29. clumsyraine says:

    Hilarious :)

    My last car was a ‘93 Corsica, and we were having serious muffler issues too, along with so many other things that I’ve blocked most of them from my mind. We decided it just wasn’t worth it anymore, and started looking for a new car. I took one on a test drive, and took it by my mechanic for a quick look. When I told him why I was there, he said “Oh! THAT’S why I didn’t hear you coming!”

    (And like Jill, the dealer offered us $200 for the old car! But it croaked before we made a purchase, so my mechanic ended up buying it from me for $100 :D)

  30. Karen says:

    I’m glad to hear someone else’s children find the car to be a blank slate for artwork - ours has been mauled by sidewalk chalk, rocks, sticks, and (most recently) a hammer. Too bad it’s the NEW car!