spreading good cheer
May 25, 2007
I am not sure if I have mentioned it here before, but Miles has decided that he is the neighborhood greeter. Whenever anyone drives by he screams, “HELLO!” and waves frantically. Then he screams, “BYE!” All while running through the front yard toward the street. In the evening when people are coming home from work, his little legs get quite a workout.
He also does this to people who are riding bicycles, jogging, or the poor unfortunate souls who are just trying to take a peaceful walk. He screams, “HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! HI! HI! HI! HELLO!” until they reach the 3/4 mark and then he begins biding them farewell. “BYE! BYE! BYE!” I am sure it is the longest 350ft or so of their entire walk.
Most people shout hello back to him. Not that it matters much because responding to him does not make him stop. They usually will laugh while I give them an exaggerated shrug, because I can’t make him stop either.
The people who don’t say anything back to him are probably whispering to each other through their gritted teeth, “Don’t encourage him.” Either that or they of spawns of Satan himself because how can you look at such a cute toddler and not even wave. Oh wait, probably the man who walks his dog without a leash and let’s him crap in everyone else’s yard probably wouldn’t wave either.
So Miles continues to be the neighborhood greeter, though now he has a new passion for trucks.
Whenever a truck, or something even remotely truck-like, drives by he must run across the yard screaming his heartfelt greeting.
Only, being a toddler, he can not pronounce truck properly.
You know where this is going, don’t you? I should probably just end it here. Before I admit that I laugh every single time.
People in my neighborhood are now being greeted with, “FUCK! FUCK! HELLO! FUCKALLO! FUCKALLO!”
And then “FUCK-A-BYE! FUCK-A-BYE!” as they drive off.
I never realized just how many people drive trucks, jeeps, and SUVs.
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OH MY GOD. I’m drinking here, woman and I just snorted vodka and cran.
THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:32 pmI could not stop laughing…damn that was funny! My son says fock when he’s talking about Swiper (from Dora). Swiper the FOCK! Funny how the emphasis is always on FOCK!
May 25th, 2007 at 11:34 pmI have been waiting so long for swearing here. I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU. Or the kid, whichever.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:34 pmI wish I lived in your neighborhood - I would laugh every time, too.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:37 pmNow, I really like that kid…
May 25th, 2007 at 11:46 pmOur son couldn’t say “Dump truck”. It started out “dum fruk” and then the ‘r’ got dropped (as I was trying to get him to say the ‘t’ sound–and see how it got worse as I tried to make it better, I stopped).It ended up “dum fuck”. Everyone at my husband’s office LOVED asking him to say dump truck. They were really sad when he learned how to say it correctly.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:47 pmMy daughter said truck the same way she also has an Uncle named Chuck and guess how she said his name yep with an F as well ..ah nothing better for an Uncle to be in public and his neice yelling Uncle F Uncle F.Wonder what kind of Uncle people that he was
..I might add to the truck part when people would tell my daughter to say” um truck” or “what the truck” and my favorite “keep on trucking”
May 25th, 2007 at 11:58 pmHilarious — love the stories in the comments, too!
When I was growing up, the neighbors across the street had a toddler who behaved in similar fashion, except we weren’t enduring it for a mere 350ft. No, we would be spending 2-3 hours working in the front yard, and he’d keep it up from their porch — “HI, MR. J!!! HI, MRS. J!!!” — the entire time.
May 26th, 2007 at 12:07 amThis is too funny. I remember being shocked when my eldest used to say things like that when she was a toddler. Now I just laugh, now that my 3 year old is going down that same path.
May 26th, 2007 at 12:08 amOh, boy that’s funny. Thanks so much for a good belly laugh!
May 26th, 2007 at 12:37 amI’m with Melanie. I wish I lived in your neighborhood! I’m still laughing…
May 26th, 2007 at 12:40 ammy little brother used to think his preschool teacher’s name was ‘miss shits’. it got me every time…
May 26th, 2007 at 1:44 amAnd some walking by are muttering about the character of people who teach their children swear words at such a young age! Ha!
May 26th, 2007 at 2:20 amAt 3, my son wanted a Buzz Lightyear party, but couldn’t say the letter Z and he often wouldn’t complete long words. His cousin couldn’t say the letter g and was having a “Bug’s Life” party. They were so excited to tell everyone they were both having a “Bud Lite” birthday party! Their single, childless uncles were excited, too.
Rachel used to do that when requesting a fork. In restaurants she would say, “I wanna Fock! Fock Fock Fock!!!” It was not fun.
May 26th, 2007 at 5:24 amMy daughter said that very word for “Thank you.” Which was hilarious. Someone brought her dinner and she replied, “F— you!” It went on for a full year. Hilarious. He sounds so cute.
May 26th, 2007 at 6:36 amToo cute! My niece calls her self Honey and can not say socks, it comes out F–ks. When we ask her to get her socks, she comes running with them screaming “Honey F–ks, Honey F–ks!!” We only ask where her socks are about a zillion times when we visit.
Gotta love toddlers.
May 26th, 2007 at 6:49 amI also think evil thoughts about those who won’t even wave back at such exuberant toddler greetings . . . but then, pre-child, I WAS one of those heartless, bitter people, so some of the mental slings bounce right back at me. Ooops.
May 26th, 2007 at 7:20 amHee hee! My hubby drives a blue fruck. I would love to drive past your house just to hear Miles. Might even give him a ride!
My now 17 year old nephew used to call them frucks too. I was called “Ah Chew” for a couple of years. I miss those days. :/
May 26th, 2007 at 8:11 amLMAO, that must be a hilarious sight!
May 26th, 2007 at 8:52 amWhen my oldest was 2, she also could not pronounce truck. So when I got a new truck at about this time, she would tell EVERYONE “My mommy likes her new fuck.”
That went over really well at her daycare, the grocery store, family gatherings, the doctor’s office…..
May 26th, 2007 at 8:54 amBWAHAHAHA!! I need to be your neighbor.
May 26th, 2007 at 9:11 amROTF! I don’t have any boys, just girls, so we haven’t had to worry about the truck passion yet. But my 2nd couldn’t pronounce “f” for a while. My mother gave me an aquarium when she was about 15 months old, and for months afterwards, people would stare at my little potty mouth when she’d point and scream “BISH! BISH!” as we walked past the pet store at the mall or the pet section of Walmart.
May 26th, 2007 at 9:12 amLMAO now that has to be a sight to see.
May 26th, 2007 at 9:25 amI’d be the neighbor who would just walk back and forth in front of your house just to see how long he’d keep it up. Too cute! Adorable, in fact!
May 26th, 2007 at 10:14 amLove it!!! My boys also had a similar problem with truck!lol They used to scream
May 26th, 2007 at 10:35 am“look mama the firefuck!! the firefuck!!” it kept me in stiches for hours. Still does to think about it!!
LMAO you have made my day.
May 26th, 2007 at 10:50 amMy now 5 year old went through the “truck” phase as well, so she’d end up saying “I like Daddy’s f***”, or “I love big f***s!”
May 26th, 2007 at 11:03 amWhen my oldest was a toddler he had a thing about clocks. However, he could not pronounce the “L” sound, so imagine my dismay one day in Target, in the clock section: “Wook! Mommy, Wook! Wook at the BIG C*CKS! OOOOOOhhh BIIIIIG C****CK!….” It went on and on and on because he would get so mad everytime we’d leave the section.
My second son had exactly the same problem as the above commenter, with “Dump Trucks”.
I wait in great anticipation for what my last two toddlers will say!
May 26th, 2007 at 11:34 amOMG. I am laughing so hard. My oldest girl had the toddler pronouncation of ocean. It came out sounding like “oh sh*@” My teenage nieces loved asking her were daddy works. “Oh sh#@.” The other one she had a tough time with was Mr. Crabs from Spongebob. Came out “Mr. Craps”
May 26th, 2007 at 1:04 pmYou have to have kids to get this stuff.
Hahaha!
LOL
Get that on video; it could be worth $10,000!!
I love being around kids for this very reason!
May 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pmThat’s way too cute… and reminds me of my now 15 year old son who had a hard time pronouncing “fork” when he was a toddler. I didn’t realize that my husband had told his brother about this little speech impediment. Imagine my surprise, when during our weekly Tuesday night pizza dinners at my mother-in-laws house, doesn’t my bro-in-law hold up his fork and spoon and ask my son what they’re called.
With all the enthusiasm a toddler could muster, he shouted “Fuck’n spoon!!”.
The look on my mother-in-law’s face was priceless. LOL
Cherie
May 26th, 2007 at 1:16 pmThank you for yet another great laugh to start my day!
May 26th, 2007 at 1:25 pmYup, my son can’t pronounce it either. We love “fucks” here too. Especially “dumb fucks!” You know, the ones that haul big loads of dirt or sand to and from construction sites and then dump (or “dumb”) them. The best is when we are driving through town with the windows down and he sees a dump truck. Then the people on the sidewalk are treated to an enthusiastic “MOMMY! DUMB FUCK!!!! WOW.”
Wow indeed. It never fails to make me snort with laughter.
May 26th, 2007 at 2:28 pmI am rolling!
When the Princess was about 2, she would shout “All set!” Only it was in toddler-ese, so it sounded like she ws exclaiming, “Aw, shit!” every time she accomplished anything or got ready to go places.
May 26th, 2007 at 3:22 pmROTFL.
May 26th, 2007 at 3:23 pmThat is so funny. 2 of mine did the same thing. Just don’t get a truck. Then he’ll start elling everyone that Mommy has a new fuck.
May 26th, 2007 at 3:32 pmWe have that too. Only the Italians don’t get it. So I am left laughing all by myself.
May 26th, 2007 at 3:33 pmMiles, meet Gabe. Gabe had this problem around the age of three. Mommy had a Big Black Fuck, Daddy was a dumb Fuck (dump truck). The best had to be when the entire family was standing in my mom and step dads drive way getting ready to say our good byes and Gabe looks up and yells, “Papas Fuck Mawmaw!!!” While pointing to Grampa’s truck Gramma. Least to saw he was often asked what that was (papas truck).
May 26th, 2007 at 3:36 pmLaughing hysterically! Roo can’t say “fork” or spoon. It comes out “f*ck n poon.” He also calls frogs f*cks. I taught him they were froggies, now he calls them f*ckies. He also can’t say clock very well. Just like mere said before in Target he sees the “BIG COCKS!
May 26th, 2007 at 6:17 pmThis was one of the funniest posts ever and brought back so many hilarious memories of the boy’s speech impediments at Miles’ age. I also loved all the comments and funny stories that your readers included. Yes the boy always loved F*ks too and screamed out in joy when he would see a F*k. I remember just dying from embarrassment. He also loved collecting nuts and at his preschool there were walnut trees. I will never forget one time he picked up a walnut and said proudly to his preschool teacher, “Oh I love Peanuts” but it sounded exactly like you know what. So between the love of the Pen*s and the joy of F*ks I can only imagine what they thought went on at our house. Thanks for the memories!
May 26th, 2007 at 6:42 pmHA HA! How funny and adorable! I can just picture him. My 6yo still greets everyone with a cheerful hello…(strangers, dogs - you name it.)
A funny - my husband’s first language is not english, so when he was first speaking words in the States people obviously were aware of his accent and the different pronunciations (whereas anywhere else in the world - if he spoke english, no one really knew to correct him.) For a time he promounced FOE CUS (focus) as FU** US — and I thought it so funny, so cute that I thought not to correct him. But then he went up for his ph.d dissertation and I thought he had better pronounce it *correctly* as not to sound to much the foreigner. It was fun while it lasted… ;-P
May 26th, 2007 at 9:54 pmignore misspellings and the wrong to-toos - ::sigh:: i can correct english speech but eye do’nt due sew goud width speling.
May 26th, 2007 at 9:57 pmOk…gotta tell ya. BOTH my boys did this same thing….I had them say…I’m a little dump truck…It would not come out that way!
May 26th, 2007 at 11:02 pmThey would say..I’m a little dumb f—!!
Very off color, but they did not know what they were saying and it was soooooo funny–DEB
I so needed that laugh today. Thankyou xxx
May 27th, 2007 at 9:54 amThere is nothing better than cracking up in the wee hours of the morning!! He is just to cute!
May 27th, 2007 at 10:35 amsoo funny!!! Don’t you love that stage???
May 27th, 2007 at 11:57 amGo Miles, Go and say hi to all those passing *ucks.
May 27th, 2007 at 4:21 pmThis reminds me of a friend’s toddler son who was very polite and always said his *uck yous when he was given something.
LOVE IT!!!!! I hope he never gives up his passion for trucks.
May 27th, 2007 at 5:15 pmYou have brought back some HILARIOUS memories! I nearly wet myself when my son started his FRUCK obsession. He loved FRUCKS and they were everywhere. Daddy drive a fruck so you can imagine that hilarious period of time…..
May 27th, 2007 at 8:18 pmI’m laughing at the story and all the comments!! My oldest son, when playing with his pokemon cards, would say, “See how big my deck is?” Only he said ‘dick’ instead of deck!
May 27th, 2007 at 8:53 pmHa, ha, ha, ha, ha. That is just funny. So are the comments.
May 28th, 2007 at 12:39 amThis just made my Sunday night. Cracks me up.
May 28th, 2007 at 12:48 amHysterical!!
May 29th, 2007 at 8:58 amI feel your pain. I named my kid Tucker…imagine the horror of every little old lady who asked him when he was two what his name was! HAHAHAA
I am laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face. My 2-year old daughter also could not pronounce truck and I would purposely ask her questions that would require she say it. It’s the little things that get us through our day.
May 29th, 2007 at 10:46 amYou REALLY need to write a book!!! If anyone can compete with the whole “BABY BLUES” cartoon empire, it’s the “NOTES FROM TEH TRENCHES”. We generally do not allow swearing in this house, but I was laughing so loud that I had to read it aloud for the kids to enjoy as well!
May 30th, 2007 at 10:00 amI don’t understand the people who can ignore adorable toddlers. On the plane the other day (yes, I know, nobody wants kids to make noise on the plane) my daughter was being a sweetheart and the woman next to me was just stonily silent. She finally melted a little bit later on, but still… How can you sit in silence while a little girl repeatedly says, “hi! Hi!” to you.
May 30th, 2007 at 2:56 pm*snort*
I love that boy of yours…stories about him always make me smile~
June 1st, 2007 at 5:27 pmHilarious! I’ve just found your blog from a link on a previous blog. Love it! My little dude (who is now 6) had the same problem - http://commonmom.com/?p=9 - you just can’t get enough of little ones learning to talk
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