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2007 June

mini golf

June 30, 2007

coming to the mini golf pro tour near you

Coming on the pro tour near you soon.

12 holes of mini golf would have been the perfect amount. The last 6 completely frayed my nerves. The constant, “Step away from the person hitting!” “Look for people around you before you swing!” “No HIGH STICKING!” “***%$###” “Stop twirling!” “Get out of the water hazard! It is not for refreshing yourself!”

By the 18th hole I felt like a total bitch of a mother. Not that they seemed to notice. Or even listened to a thing I said.

Then I bought their love with ice cream.


Just doing our part to keep the ice cream industry alive.


They are already asking when they can go back, so I guess I didn’t scar them too much.

Posted by Chris @ 10:11 am | 24 Comments  

Did ya miss me?

June 29, 2007

I know I was only gone for about 18 hours. But I exceeded my bandwidth and had to move up to the next plan. I guess that is what I get for being cheap.

Every month a few days before the end of the month I would start getting emails saying that I was about to exceed my bandwidth. This month it happened earlier than usual but after careful consideration, i.e. deleting the email as soon as it came in, I decided once again to just ignore it.

Yesterday afternoon I went to my blog and it was no longer there. Poof. Bandwidth exceeded.

And so I decided to spend the extra $5 and upgrade my plan.

Here I am. But not really here because I am frantically doing half done projects around my house before my house swallows me whole. I am finding myself completely drained by the albatross.

The fact the my next door neighbor insists on using manure in her flower gardens is also making me irrationally angry. IT STINKS like, well, shit. Horse shit, cow shit, I have no idea which one it is but it has the sweet pungent smell that makes me breath through my mouth rather than smell it. I am getting angry just thinking about it.

But in other news. My 6yr old son just lost his first tooth. It has been loose for quite some time. And then was hanging on by what appeared to be a single thread of gum tissue for a couple of weeks. And he refused to just yank it out. Last night right before bed he was standing close to me telling me a story when I noticed something different about his smile.

“Where did your tooth go?!?!” I exclaimed.

“What tooth?” he answered.

“The loose one right in the front that was hanging there all crooked…”


So I suggested he go look in the mirror. Yes, he had no idea it fell out.

Once I reassured him:
a) That no, the tooth fairy would not expect us to sift through his poop to find the tooth.

b) And that yes, she would leave him money if he wrote her a note explaining the situation.

c) And that no, you couldn’t lie to the tooth fairy and say that you have had ten teeth fall out and lost them all so that she will leave you way more money because the tooth fairy is all-knowing.

d)And that yes, she probably does hang out with all the other all-knowing people like Santa, the Tooth fairy, and God.

Once he knew all those things, he was happy. And dictated a note to the tooth fairy.

After all that he finally said that when he was eating some cantaloupe after dinner he felt something hard in his mouth, but thought it was the seed and swallowed it anyway.

missing tooth

Miracle of all miracles I remembered to do the tooth fairy and he woke up a very happy boy clutching his “golden” dollars, which he has probably already lost.

Posted by Chris @ 5:30 pm | 34 Comments  

Creating a work of art

June 28, 2007

creating a masterpiece

or a mess. Hard to tell which.

Posted by Chris @ 5:09 pm | 21 Comments  

Doesn’t everyone like to drink from the hose?

June 27, 2007

high powered drink

With water pressure so hard it threatens to peel the skin from your skull?

refreshing drink that tears off you face

And see the tag still on the hose squirter thing. That is because we have yet to have one that has survived more than a few weeks. I can’t tell you how many have been left laying around the driveway and were subsequently run over.

Posted by Chris @ 2:52 pm | 26 Comments  

Everything is a contact sport at my house

even hose playing is a contact sport

Posted by Chris @ 2:47 pm | 11 Comments  

I have a hose and I am not afraid to use it

What you talkin' bout, punk?

Posted by Chris @ 2:45 pm | 13 Comments  

more anniversary talk

June 26, 2007

I have a post up over at Parenting, A Letter to My Younger Self inspired by my anniversary.

In fact I would grab her by the shoulders and shake her and shout, “THIS IS AS GOOD AS YOUR BODY IS GOING TO GET!” I never would have thought I would look back wistfully at that body I hated. But I do. Oh, how I long for boobs that stay up where they belong all on their own volition. Also, bladder control of steel. It’s a toss up which I miss more.

And also a post over at BlogHer about kitchen renovation. A post in which I do not mention my children, my boobs, or any other bodily functions. I do mention porn though.

What did I get for my anniversary, the family friendly version?

A new refrigerator and freezer for my impending kitchen renovation of doom. Okay those really weren’t my presents perse, just things I happened to buy last week. But when you are involved in a large house project spending money on anything else seems ill advised.

I did get an anniversary ring as a combination birthday, mother’s day, anniversary present. It is something I have wanted for a long time but could never justify buying. I mentioned Rob “buying” it for my birthday.

anniversary present

It is small and matches my wedding ring and it sits on the other side of my engagement ring.

Random photo off my camera from my son. What it looks like for an ant right before a car, made from technic Legos, runs you over.

my son's photo for today


Posted by Chris @ 9:55 am | 21 Comments  

Whatever words I say…

June 25, 2007

I will always love you.

13th wedding anniversary

Thirteen years of occasional sometimes more often than not wedded bliss.

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

Back when we were dating, we were at a huge party. It was crowded and loud. And we were standing in the corner of a room huddled close together talking over the music and other people who were also talking over the music. Then this song by the Cure came on. And Rob sang it to me, though he will deny he ever sang. But he did.

In all likelihood he has forgotten since those were also the years of heavy drinking and all around partying. And though I would never like to go and relive them now they were fun at the time.

It is perhaps also equally possible that I hallucinated the whole experience. But it’s my memory and I am sticking by it. In any event, this song, Dentyne gum, and the taste of DEET are all things that evoke the feeling of falling in love.

Happy Anniversary.

Here’s to the next 13 years.

Posted by Chris @ 2:50 pm | 68 Comments  

My children, they amuse me

June 24, 2007

My older kids have discovered that their digital cameras are not nearly as good as mine, and as a result they are constantly taking mine to photograph things that they “must save for all posterity”

It can be such a funny glimpse into to their heads to see what they have photographed. Their breakfast, a bird in the bird feeder, their shoes, the inside of the refrigerator… I think I may have bloggers in the making.

Here we have a Luna Moth my husband caught one night and put on the kitchen counter under a glass bowl to so that the children could see it in the morning. I sort of freaked out about it, because these things are huge. It is almost like having a bat under a bowl on your counter.

Let me just say here that I am so glad my kids have him as their father to make up for me. I am so NOT the fun parent.

The next morning the kids ooohed and aaahed over it and then brought it outside to let it go. While I hid in the other room because I was afraid they would accidentally let it go IN the house.

Later on in the day when I went to download photos onto my computer, I found 112 photos of the Luna Moth.

The ground level shot:

luna moth

The close-up:

luna moth closeup

And the probably 100 that were identical to this one:

luna moth

Oh and let us not forget the obligatory Bionicle photo or thirty-two:


Posted by Chris @ 9:31 pm | 30 Comments  


June 22, 2007

As some of you have already noticed, the blog has a new look. Thank you to the ever talented Karen Rani at Vodkarella.

And once again the photo is from the lovely Stacy

I know change is hard for some of you.

Remember how much you hated the tiny shoe? How you thought it was depressing? How much you missed the big yellow house?

And I held your hand and stroked it and promised that nothing would change? Remember?

Well, change is good.

I like the new streamlined look much better. The old one was all cluttery. Too many things lining both sidebars. And soon all the little linky things up top will work.

And the blogroll will be back. Remember you like the blogroll?

Embrace the change.

Posted by Chris @ 11:42 pm | 84 Comments