June 21, 2007
I have been wondering lately if you are in a bad mood for 27.5 days out of the month can you still call it PMS. Or are do you just have to face the fact that it is your personality and you are just a bitch?
I was talking to my friend Susan about it and told her that this past month I think I had my twelve good hours when I was sleeping.
PPMS: When your PMS is a permanent state of being.
My husband called me from work a little while ago and casually asked, “So, how is your day?”
During the long pause that followed I bet he wished he hadn’t called.
“I want to snap their little heads off and eat them.”
Yes it has been one of those sort of days.
But after I said that it brought to mind that little rhyme from when I was a kid. We would hold dandelions in our hand and say, “Mama had a baby and it’s head popped off.” And then flick the head of the dandelion off the stem with our thumb. Oh how funny it was.
Did anyone else do that? Or did I just have some kind of warped twisted childhood.
Anyway now it is stuck in my head.
Things that have annoyed me today in no particular order:
1) Why would someone decide to rip the side open on the jumbo 500 pack of bandaids, allowing them to now spill out all over the cabinet, counter and floor instead of just opening the top? And why would this person just leave all the bandaids laying around like some cleaning fairy was going to fix it all? AND when confronted why would this person lie about it?
NEWSFLASH!!! YOU ARE COVERED IN BANDAIDS I KNOW YOU DID IT.
2) Why would someone break the soap into a million little pieces and then use one of those pieces to write all over the window?
3) Why would a person think it was a good idea to to open the cabinet and throw the chess pieces inside rather than put them in the storage area at the back of the chess board?
4) While talking on the phone my husband remarked that I haven’t made pasta salad in a really long time, and hey we should make it and hamburgers and grilled chicken breast this weekend. And there are just so many things I can’t eat anymore that he mentioned that I want to punch him.
5) I’d like to be all happy and pollyanna-ish and say how great this new diet is going. But I can’t. It sucks. All my favorite things to eat… gone. Yes, I know there are good gluten, egg, dairy, seafood free foods out there. Yes, I know I can cook from scratch. But I hate it. You would think that I should just be dropping weight because of all the things I can’t eat, like bread, and french toast, and ice cream, and cereal… but instead I have been eating about 5000 calories a day in candy.
6) Larabars. I am so sick of you and your vegan, gluten free, less than 5 ingredient ways. Damn you for being so convenient to toss in my pocketbook.
I know there were more things, but I have forgotten them now.
Mama had a baby and it’s head popped off.
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