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2007 July

hypothetically speaking

July 18, 2007

Your 11yr old son walks by his much younger sibling and completely unprovoked reaches his out and smacks him on the arm. You send him to his room and say, “How would you like it if I were to smack you like that whenever I walk by you?”

And he responds, “Go for it.”

Do you:

a) Calmly and rationally explain to him the error of his response and instruct him to also contemplate this while sitting upstairs in his room.

b) Ignore him

c) Burst into tears thinking that you have created a heartless sociopath.

d) Go for it

Posted by Chris @ 9:56 am | 99 Comments  

I have been waiting for this moment…

July 17, 2007

Today our refrigerator and freezer were delivered.

I am a notoriously good tipper. If someone does a good job I have no problem showing my appreciation with a tip. When I went out to lunch with my mother-in-law, the server at the restaurant was exceptional. He went above and beyond in his quest not to kill or poison us with foods we can’t eat. And so I gave him a $10 tip on a $25 bill.

I have never had anyone deliver things to my house that I haven’t tipped. I wrote about this when my furniture was delivered and many people said that you don’t need to tip delivery people.

Today I didn’t give the delivery people a tip.

First off they backed their van up over my lawn, which in and of itself doesn’t bother me that much. But then the first guy asked to come inside and see where they had to be carried. As I walked him through the house he started complaining about the distance the kitchen was from the front door. Which is weird. And then he kept saying, “This is a huge job. Wow, this is a big job.”

I paid $200 to have these appliances “white glove” delivered into my house, don’t bitch at me. In retrospect, next time I will save my $200, buy a hand truck, and carry appliances into my house myself. And by myself I mean Rob.

Okay. So the second guy hears about the “big job” and has to come walking through the house to see where the kitchen is. As he starts in with the “big job” stuff, I turned to him and said, “Do you routinely encounter kitchens right next to the front door? Because I really don’t think this is unreasonable.”

And then they complained while they were doing the job. Pushed the appliances into their built-in alcoves without plugging them in and then when I called them on it said that the appliances had to “rest” for 2 hours before being plugged in. They didn’t level them, though I am not sure if that technically is part of their delivery job.

And so when they left I showed him the way out and said goodbye.

I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about it.

A couple of hours later my son discovered that they left their toolbox here. I hope it is not an excuse to come back to my house and kill me in my sleep.

Posted by Chris @ 3:00 pm | 58 Comments  

Can’t win all of ‘em

The agony of defeat:

Walk of the Defeated

Oh what to say about baseball that hasn’t already been said. It is always disheartening when your child’s team is trampled over in a game. TRAMPLED.

The Agony of Defeat

This week the championship round of games begins. So only two or three more games left this season. Thank God.

Also, post up here today.

Posted by Chris @ 8:14 am | 11 Comments  

Quote of the weekend

July 16, 2007

I was in the kitchen preparing ribs to put on the grill, which meant I was slathering them with barbeque sauce.

My 8 yr old son came over to the counter and looked at what I was doing for awhile.

“You think it looks good?” I asked.

“Oh yes. And it looks so real I can’t wait to eat it.”

Real? Does my food usually look fake I wondered.

But sometimes it is best not to ask too many questions. Like when your child says that they love what you are wearing. And since it is a tank top and a pair of ratty pajama shorts you make the mistake of asking what they like about the particular outfit. And the child goes on to clarify that it makes your tummy look just like a bowl full of jelly. You know, like Santa, Mom. For this reason I have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy at my house.

After a few minutes he skipped out of the room, while I continued to prepare the “real” food.

The next thing I heard was him shouting to his siblings.

“It is SO COOL. Mom is smearing fake blood all over the meat. Fake blood! AWESOME!”

Posted by Chris @ 2:02 pm | 41 Comments  

sweden has taken over one more room

July 14, 2007

I finally put together the IKEA furniture that I bought for the bedroom that my 6 and 8 yr old share. And I let my younger children help put it all together, which was an exercise in patience. Also it allowed me to use my deep lamaze breathing, which was never one bit effective during childbirth, to keep myself from shouting things like, “Hurry up!” or “Let me do it!” or the ever effective, “We are going to be here all day!”

So it took about 5 times as long as it would have taken had I been able to do it myself. Ahhhhh, but we have the memory to hang on to. Which for me includes the metallic taste of blood from biting my own tongue.

But even though they were s-l-o-w they were able to use the little tools and read the directions. And it warmed my heart because at the very least the can work on an assembly line somewhere when they grow up and support themselves.

Rob and I have been working on finishing the butler’s pantry in our house, which sadly does not come with a butler. Shocking, right? I looked in every cabinet and NO butler.

This morning we were working on installing the new wood floor. It is such a small closet sized room that we fully anticipated it taking no time. But we were wrong. We have so many cuts and weird angles to fit around the cabinets that several hours later we were still less than half way done. And then we had to pack it up because my oldest son had baseball game.

If only the floor could be installed with those tiny little allen wrenches, I’d totally let the kids do on their own and not complain once about how long it was taking.

Posted by Chris @ 5:40 pm | 21 Comments  

Summer has swallowed me whole

July 13, 2007

Susan had a great post up about summer having swallowed her whole. So great in fact that I am stealing the title for my post. Not only am I tired, I am also unoriginal. Yea, me!
Deadlines, self imposed and otherwise, having fun, or “fun” as the case might be, and just trying to enjoy it all in spite of myself– all of it has engulfed me.

If I have to tell my kids to close the screen door one more time I might have to lock them outside.

I was writing a “day in the life” post yesterday, which I obviously never posted, in part because it is taking me longer to write about my day than it did to live it.

Non sequitur Alert: When I was wistfully talking about our next house in some far away perfect place, my husband told me that he fears I will never be happy. He said it like it was a bad thing. I think that is just the beauty of me. Bring me anywhere and the sarcasm and bad attitude come too. But deep down, ouch. He is probably right.

My 8 yr old son told me the other day that he thinks he is the luckiest kid in the entire world because he got to go to the beach AND have ice cream on the same day. Really? Is that all it takes?


Ah to be so carefree again. And able to spin around without getting nauseous.

Posted by Chris @ 3:58 pm | 34 Comments  

Might as well JUMP!

July 11, 2007


And Miles, whose head is still stapled shut, jumping off of rocks into the water. Because clearly he is trying to age me.

Because he is trying to age me

The reason I don’t swim at the “beach”

fish at the "beach"

And I have a new post up over at Parenting that I completely forgot about what with all the beach going.

I am on Day Three of my new exercise program.

Day Four if you count the day I pulled my running shoes out of the back of my closet and dusted them off. I am inclined to count it …

Posted by Chris @ 12:06 am | 36 Comments  

Today is the day

July 10, 2007

to wistfully remember when all I needed to bring for an afternoon at the beach was a towel, a water bottle, and a book.

Posted by Chris @ 9:09 am | 23 Comments  

Monday, monday, can’t trust that day

July 9, 2007

Yesterday I made the road trip to IKEA once again. I am becoming slightly embarrassed at the amount of IKEA furniture my house now contains, though obviously not embarrassed enough to stop buying it.

Can one house have to much of the flat boxed goodness? I am not sure it can.

So if you don’t hear from me for another week it is because I am laying on the floor whimpering because my allen wrench hand is all cramped up and fused to the tiny wrench.

As I was typing this Miles just put his stapled head on my lap and said unbidden, “I love you, too.” Of course in the time it took me to type this he went over and dumped an entire basket of puzzles out onto the floor that he has no intention of putting together. So it all balances out.

Posted by Chris @ 8:19 am | 32 Comments  

What day is it anyway?

July 7, 2007

This never ending long weekend has me all confused.

Also there is a Rock, Paper, Scissors (USARPS) contest on ESPN. The 2007 championships. It is hysterically funny, though I am not sure if it is meant to be.

“Throw a scissor, baby!”

“He has just won a bone jarring battle of wills.”

“His rock just hammered that scissor.”

Who knew there was such a thing? The funniest thing so far was when they showed the father of one of the contestants*, shake his head in disbelief over his son’s loss. Ah, the human tragedy of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

*contestants are all grown-ups in case you were thinking this was a children’s event.

There is a first time for everything.

Tonight I was changing Miles diaper when he reached his little hands up and shoved them down the front of my shirt.

“WHOA! You hab BIG muscles!” he said.

Posted by Chris @ 9:47 pm | 24 Comments