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The Internet Visits Again

The Internet Visits Again

August 19, 2007


And this is what they get for breakfast.

Photos shamelessly stolen from HeatherB because I never remember to take photos.

And Heather learned that my house is exactly like I portray online. No secrets here. My kids are always well behaved, side splitting funny, and clean. Definitely clean. In fact the entire 24 hours was was one photo op after another. And Heather wants a four year daughter more than anything else in the world. Maybe even more than stabbing herself in the ears with ice picks. Oh, and I never ever raise my voice. Why would I? My kids are perfect.

An actual conversation that occurred on Friday afternoon in which Heather was enlightened to the world of crazy things parents say.

Me to my 6 yr old, “No more snapping. Do you understand? I do not want to see you snap again.”

Heather to me, “Wow. Snapping isn’t allowed? What is wrong with snapping?”

Me to Heather, “What isn’t wrong with it?”

But 24 hours later after she got up close and personal with Mr. Snappy Fingers, she fully understood.

And understood the need for copious amounts of wine.

Posted by Chris @ 9:05 pm  

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  1. Sueb0b says:

    I’m glad you don’t let the kids have wine, but have instead wisely started them on Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

  2. MsRebecca says:

    My kids love Mike’s too! lol..
    I can’t have them gettin’ into the good stuff..

    We call it “grown-up” juice at our house..

  3. Fairly Odd Mother says:

    Wow, he went straight from sugar to Mike’s Hard Lemonade! See, sugar IS bad!

  4. Mrs. Chicky says:

    It’s made with lemons so it must be good for the kids. No rickets in your house.

  5. Karen@FamlyBriefs says:

    Sometimes copious amounts of wine make the WHINE much easier to tolerate (or at least you don’t care anymore :)

    Surely the Mike’s Hard Lemonade has a better effect on children than copious amounts of sugar!

  6. Chris says:

    Fairly Odd Mother, Clearly straight sugar is the gateway drug.

  7. Daisy says:

    Do you give him the cranberry flavor at Thanksgiving?

  8. Susan says:

    Buying plane ticket right now. Not for the booze, but for that BREAKFAST.


  9. whoorl says:

    Seriously, the breakfast?! If anyone needs culinary rescue, it’s me. (Hello, Olive Pie.)

  10. Kyran says:

    Is this like a world tour? How do I get Little Rock on the t-shirt?

  11. Loralee says:

    Ya know? I never really thought about becoming a drinker until I had children. I wonder if there’s a correlation?

  12. carrie says:

    I know. I didn’t allow singing today.

  13. Anna says:

    Not only do you look fabulous in this picture…but I bet you’re wearing cute shoes, too…how do you do it?

  14. CathyC says:

    Breakfast, Mike’s, when will you be accepting a bus tour of internet visits? Because we’re ready.

  15. Brigitte says:

    I long for wine pretty much whenever my child is awake, but as soon as she’s asleep and I feel free to indulge . . well, the urge seems to have mysteriously gone away.

  16. OMSH says:

    No snapping allowed here either.
    or snatching, whining, or drinking momma’s margaritas.

    ALL are off limits.

  17. Woman with Kids says:

    I’ve been tempted to ban breathing, but they turn such an annoying blue color. *sigh* Boy 2 is going to be banned from speaking if his diahrea of the mouth doesn’t stop.

  18. Manic Mommy says:

    The line where the two couch cushions meet up is the 48th parallel in our house - no one crosses it. If we sit on the couch to read a book, I am the DMZ.

    When I read these posts/comments, I feel so much better about the increase in my alcohol consumption.

    Thank you friends!

  19. Heather B. says:

    I seriously just snapped and said “Hey, Chris Jordan” at the computer.

    I’m going to be doing that shit all day.

    I love your house. I love that you live down the street. I love that I’ll willingly visit until it snows and then I’ll see you in March.

  20. jody2ms says:

    Yum! That looks fabulous! I would ruin it by pouring salsa all over it…..Do you Nor-easterners have salsa?

  21. sarcastic journalist says:

    Why not give the alcohol to the snapper?

  22. JustLinda says:

    Great, now I want toast. Toast with just butter. Real butter. And maybe some lobster with real butter. And then of course those wonderful cheddar bay biscuits that go so well with lobster. And pie. Definitely pie.

    Maybe I shouldn’t come to blogs with pictures of food while I’m dieting (um um ummm… these carrots are FAB!)

  23. Susan says:

    I have gone as far as to request that my kids don’t say “MOM” every time they address me: “PLEASE JUST START TALKING! YOU DON’T NEED TO START EVERY, SINGLE SENTENCE WITH ‘MOM!’”

    Yeah, pass the mom award this way, will you? (And then don’t bother having any sympathy for me in 6-9 years when I am going through the whole empty nest thing… and whining incessantly about it.)

  24. Maya says:

    That last picture is worth a 1,000 words!

  25. Molly says:

    That is a really nice picture of you, Chris!

  26. peepnroosmom says:

    Mmmm. Love me some Mike’s.

  27. Gina says:

    ROFL Thats all I’ve got to say about that picture!

  28. Debbie H says:

    At my house we go from banning snapping then whistling, drives me bonkers. I have threatened to ban breathing. kids…

  29. Gift of Green says:

    Mmmmm breeeeeeeakfast…ggggggggggggg (how exactly do you spell that gargling sound Homer Simpson makes?)

  30. Heather says:

    Love the pic of you and your kids. Your glamorous girl! ;)Very cute..

  31. Tonja says:

    I’ll trade your snapper for my knocker… He knocks on EVERYTHING!! I can’t tell you the number of times I started towards the front door all to stop in my tracks and go on with whatever I was doing.

  32. Mary W says:

    I am so LMAo about him raching for the Mikes.

  33. gorillabuns says:

    i take it you don’t feed your kids pop tarts and chocolate milk for breakfast.