The Internet Visits Again
August 19, 2007
And this is what they get for breakfast.
Photos shamelessly stolen from HeatherB because I never remember to take photos.
And Heather learned that my house is exactly like I portray online. No secrets here. My kids are always well behaved, side splitting funny, and clean. Definitely clean. In fact the entire 24 hours was was one photo op after another. And Heather wants a four year daughter more than anything else in the world. Maybe even more than stabbing herself in the ears with ice picks. Oh, and I never ever raise my voice. Why would I? My kids are perfect.
An actual conversation that occurred on Friday afternoon in which Heather was enlightened to the world of crazy things parents say.
Me to my 6 yr old, “No more snapping. Do you understand? I do not want to see you snap again.”
Heather to me, “Wow. Snapping isn’t allowed? What is wrong with snapping?”
Me to Heather, “What isn’t wrong with it?”
But 24 hours later after she got up close and personal with Mr. Snappy Fingers, she fully understood.
And understood the need for copious amounts of wine.
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I’m glad you don’t let the kids have wine, but have instead wisely started them on Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
August 19th, 2007 at 9:12 pmMy kids love Mike’s too! lol..
I can’t have them gettin’ into the good stuff..
We call it “grown-up” juice at our house..
August 19th, 2007 at 9:31 pmWow, he went straight from sugar to Mike’s Hard Lemonade! See, sugar IS bad!
August 19th, 2007 at 9:52 pmIt’s made with lemons so it must be good for the kids. No rickets in your house.
August 19th, 2007 at 10:05 pmSometimes copious amounts of wine make the WHINE much easier to tolerate (or at least you don’t care anymore
Surely the Mike’s Hard Lemonade has a better effect on children than copious amounts of sugar!
August 19th, 2007 at 10:25 pmFairly Odd Mother, Clearly straight sugar is the gateway drug.
August 19th, 2007 at 10:30 pmDo you give him the cranberry flavor at Thanksgiving?
August 19th, 2007 at 10:35 pmBuying plane ticket right now. Not for the booze, but for that BREAKFAST.
Dude.
August 19th, 2007 at 10:55 pmSeriously, the breakfast?! If anyone needs culinary rescue, it’s me. (Hello, Olive Pie.)
August 19th, 2007 at 10:59 pmIs this like a world tour? How do I get Little Rock on the t-shirt?
August 20th, 2007 at 12:03 amYa know? I never really thought about becoming a drinker until I had children. I wonder if there’s a correlation?
August 20th, 2007 at 12:03 amI know. I didn’t allow singing today.
August 20th, 2007 at 12:26 amNot only do you look fabulous in this picture…but I bet you’re wearing cute shoes, too…how do you do it?
August 20th, 2007 at 12:41 amBreakfast, Mike’s, when will you be accepting a bus tour of internet visits? Because we’re ready.
August 20th, 2007 at 7:08 amI long for wine pretty much whenever my child is awake, but as soon as she’s asleep and I feel free to indulge . . well, the urge seems to have mysteriously gone away.
August 20th, 2007 at 7:10 amNo snapping allowed here either.
or snatching, whining, or drinking momma’s margaritas.
ALL are off limits.
August 20th, 2007 at 7:14 amI’ve been tempted to ban breathing, but they turn such an annoying blue color. *sigh* Boy 2 is going to be banned from speaking if his diahrea of the mouth doesn’t stop.
August 20th, 2007 at 8:04 amThe line where the two couch cushions meet up is the 48th parallel in our house - no one crosses it. If we sit on the couch to read a book, I am the DMZ.
When I read these posts/comments, I feel so much better about the increase in my alcohol consumption.
Thank you friends!
August 20th, 2007 at 8:14 amI seriously just snapped and said “Hey, Chris Jordan” at the computer.
I’m going to be doing that shit all day.
I love your house. I love that you live down the street. I love that I’ll willingly visit until it snows and then I’ll see you in March.
August 20th, 2007 at 8:15 amYum! That looks fabulous! I would ruin it by pouring salsa all over it…..Do you Nor-easterners have salsa?
August 20th, 2007 at 8:40 amWhy not give the alcohol to the snapper?
August 20th, 2007 at 9:46 amGreat, now I want toast. Toast with just butter. Real butter. And maybe some lobster with real butter. And then of course those wonderful cheddar bay biscuits that go so well with lobster. And pie. Definitely pie.
Maybe I shouldn’t come to blogs with pictures of food while I’m dieting (um um ummm… these carrots are FAB!)
August 20th, 2007 at 1:02 pmI have gone as far as to request that my kids don’t say “MOM” every time they address me: “PLEASE JUST START TALKING! YOU DON’T NEED TO START EVERY, SINGLE SENTENCE WITH ‘MOM!’”
Yeah, pass the mom award this way, will you? (And then don’t bother having any sympathy for me in 6-9 years when I am going through the whole empty nest thing… and whining incessantly about it.)
August 20th, 2007 at 1:21 pmThat last picture is worth a 1,000 words!
August 20th, 2007 at 1:51 pmThat is a really nice picture of you, Chris!
August 20th, 2007 at 3:01 pmMmmm. Love me some Mike’s.
August 20th, 2007 at 4:04 pmROFL Thats all I’ve got to say about that picture!
August 20th, 2007 at 7:48 pmAt my house we go from banning snapping then whistling, drives me bonkers. I have threatened to ban breathing. kids…
August 20th, 2007 at 9:44 pmMmmmm breeeeeeeakfast…ggggggggggggg (how exactly do you spell that gargling sound Homer Simpson makes?)
August 20th, 2007 at 9:48 pmLove the pic of you and your kids. Your glamorous girl! ;)Very cute..
August 20th, 2007 at 11:41 pmI’ll trade your snapper for my knocker… He knocks on EVERYTHING!! I can’t tell you the number of times I started towards the front door all to stop in my tracks and go on with whatever I was doing.
August 21st, 2007 at 10:15 amI am so LMAo about him raching for the Mikes.
August 21st, 2007 at 9:41 pmi take it you don’t feed your kids pop tarts and chocolate milk for breakfast.
August 23rd, 2007 at 12:54 am