Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cookie - headers already sent by (output started at /home/chris/public_html/wp-includes/version.php:10) in /home/chris/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /home/chris/public_html/wp-includes/version.php:10) in /home/chris/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119


September 19, 2007

I have the worst stomach ache. I don’t think I have had a stomach ache since I was a little kid. I guess it isn’t technically my stomach, more accurately my abdomen. But it hurts. Sort of like I have been punched repeatedly in the stomach. Or what I imagine it would feel like since I am a wimpy girl who has never actually been punched or punched anyone.

(It’s not on my right side for all you googling people who are going to scream appendix. I am one of you, and already checked Dr. Google.)

If I die everyone had better show up to my funeral in their 70’s disco costumes. Also, I think karaoke would be fun and lighten the mood. “Stayin’ Alive” by the BeeGees is tops on my funeral karaoke playlist.

Posted by Chris @ 10:13 am  

RSS feed for comments on this post.

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:


  1. JESSICA says:

    feel better !
    i too had horrible stomach issues this morning. im doing better but im cautious with what im eating so far. try and have a great day. :-)

  2. JustRandi says:

    I’m so sorry! Turn on some BeeGee’s music for relaxation and go back to bed for awhile. The kids can get some education from PBS today!

  3. Not The Mama says:

    Aww. I’m sorry. I hope you feel better soon. And I have to say, if you MUST die, a karaoke funeral sounds like the way to go.

  4. Mom Sleppy says:

    I have a lime green John Travolta disco suit that I wore to prom. I’ll sing “If I Can’t Have You,” which I practice belting out in my car everyday. Not that I’m hoping or anything. I don’t even know you. =P

    You have intestinal blockage. Eat more grapes.

  5. nabbalicious says:

    Whenever I get a stomach ache, I swear it’s my appendix and I get excited, because it means a few days off work. Is that wrong?

    Feel bettah!

  6. Jenn says:

    Just so you know, when my brother was little and something happened to him and he had xrays done, the doctors told my parents that for future reference, his appendix was on the left side of his body. So don’t rule it out!

  7. Karly says:

    Oh, I’ll be there. Don’t you worry.

  8. jennielynn says:

    Dibs on “I Will Survive.”

  9. Esme says:

    Feel better, Chris!

  10. Christine says:

    Funeral-schmuneral. I’m gonna’ laugh when we get the “I took the biggest dump of my life” post in a few days!

  11. Fina says:

    Could it be gall bladder?? Just putting it out there so you can google if you haven’t. Happened to me once and I was only 30 when it did. Feel better!

  12. Rose says:

    I don’t know who’s funnier, you or your commentors! I am spitting my coffee all over the place. Hope you feel better soon.

  13. Kellan says:

    Yeah, Stayin’ Alive, would be fun to hear at a funeral. And … ditto to what Christine said.

  14. Elizabeth says:

    Well, you could be one of those people who has situs inversus, in which all of your internal organs are inversed. But I think this would have been discovered during your pregnancies.

    Or it could just be a pain in your left side.

    FYI, the liver and gall bladder are also on the right side.

  15. SarahD says:

    On occasion I’ve almost had to leave work because of gas pains. Sure, they usually work themselves out in an hour or two, but during that time it’s agonizing!

  16. Beth says:

    Hope you feel better soon! I’ve been there and I sympathize.

  17. janet says:

    One thing you can be sure of… it’s not the flesh(colored)-eating bacteria. The symptoms of that would include damage to your sense of humor, and THAT you still have.

    Feel better.

  18. connie says:

    Gall bladder pain can actually be in the center of the abdomen. Trust me, I know this from experience…

  19. fidget says:

    What / where did you eat? It sounds like you got GLUTENED!!! Guzzle gatorade if you can keep anything down. After getting glutened loading up on lemon lime gatorade seems to help the I’m going to *bleeping* die pain pass faster.

    some of the worst pain I every had was after putting my damn rice bread into the family toaster.. oh god.. wanted.to.die.

    I bought my own toaster after that

  20. whoorl says:

    As a person who spends the majority of her life doubled over and wincing in pain, I feel for you.

    I’ve been reading about an incredibly nasty stomach bug that seems to have taken over the world lately. Let’s hope it passes you by. Feel better!

  21. Pamela says:

    God bless you and heal you. Speak positive. You will be well soon.Pamela

  22. Pamela says:

    God bless you and heal you.
    Speak positively!

  23. Jen says:

    Are you pregnant???

  24. Kira says:

    Dude. The gall bladder is the instrument of evil. Check it out.
    Hope you feel better soon!

  25. Karen Vogel says:

    I remember feeling that way when I was 13 or 14. I’m still alive, though.

  26. peepnroosmom says:

    I am laughing so hard at Christine and her comment. I’m with her. Hope you feel better.

  27. AC says:

    Did you check out the symptoms for shingles?! When my husband had them on his back, he felt like he had been beaten up by the school bully (something he knows little about since HE was the school bully!)

  28. Terri says:

    OK, who else has all these songs from the ’70s stuck in their head?

    Hope you feel better!

  29. Nana says:

    Kidney Stone?????

  30. Nicole says:

    Uh…maybe you should go to the doctor? Reading all these notes has made me paranoid for you. I’m still pulling for Christine’s diagnosis, though!

  31. Lovebabz says:

    Ok a stomach sometimes is just a stomach ache, brought on by eating something that did not agree with you. If it last for more than a day or so then get your ass to the Drs.
    Otherwise, “You Should Be Dancing–Yeah”

  32. Lori says:

    At first, I was loath to mention the “P” word…but someone else already did that.

    Good luck!

  33. Heather's Garden says:

    Hope you feel better soon. I just came across this website linked to one that I read daily and thought when you’re feeling better you might find some fun recipes: http://gfcfmommy.blogspot.com/

  34. Amy says:

    We had a round of tummy troubles last week. And by “round” I mean we each had it, one after another! Hope you feel better!

  35. LeeAnn says:

    Ovarian cyst? Feels like you’ve been kick in the gut by a mule but no fever. Hope you feel better.

  36. Sunny says:

    I would not miss that funeral for the world! ;)

  37. ~Tammy~ says:

    I had a flu a couple weeks back that felt just like that…. maybe a passing bug?

  38. Maddy says:

    Whenever I feel a pain I always tell everyone around me “if I drop dead…” this way my funeral will be as I planned. Being as I’m too lazy/mean to make a Will and put it in writing I always find word of mouth more convenient. I’m having a “Hello Dolly” theme party and everyone is to join in when “Dolly’ll never go away again” is played, although your idea of a 70’s disco is very appealing.

  39. Maddy says:

    Oooops I forgot to add my diagnosis ….. hmmmm let me see, ah yes you have eosinophilic gastroenteritis, maybe.

  40. jenB says:

    I haven’t read all the comments, and I am going to suggest this anyhow - some GasX? It sounds like gas pain, I get it a lot. Lots of pressure and cramping? Grab the Gas-X or whatever gas relieving product of your choice.

  41. jenB says:

    OH! or maybe constipation? Aren’t I the fun one.

  42. Heather says:

    Oh fun! A stomach ache, just what I wanted to read today! LOL.. A “stomach ache” is what had us calling 911 about a week & a half ago, 12:30 at night,my 17 year old son doubled over with pain, rolling around our living room floor. Long story short,an ambulance ride to the ER, 5 days in the hospital and minus one gall bladder is the end result of his stomach ache. His pain was in the center of his stomach, not at all on the right side.

    Laughing at all the possible illnesses everyone has commented on. Why go to the doctor? You have a whole medical team here. ;)

  43. Suburban Turmoil says:

    Just read the last comment, um, THAT’S not going to worry you or anything! Heh, just kidding Heather. Sure you meant well.

    Anyway, hope your stomach/abdomen feels better quickly. Um, you can always call my dad, you know, if you, like, want to…

  44. liz says:

    I hope the pain has passed. I’m guessing it was the beef and bean burritos you ate 8^D

    You DID eat beef and bean burritos, right?

  45. celeste w, studio 501c says:

    Hope you feel better soon–you make me feel better every time I read one of your posts. (On the other hand, you also remind me of the character in the Nicole Hollander cartoon–”The Woman Who Does Everything Better Than You”) Your activities and accomplishments are amazing! :)

    “I can take my Cuisinart apart in the dark and put it back together in seven minutes. Not that I need a Cuisinart. I can prepare dinner for twelve with a cigarette lighter and a sharp stick…as long as I have fresh cilantro.

    The Woman Who Does Everything Better Than You
    -Nicole Hollander

  46. jen says:

    Get better soon! Tummyaches suck.

    Out of interest, could you do a piece on your other blog about how to cope with all your kids when you are sick? I only have 2 (a toddler and a 11 week old) and the place seems to fall apart when I get sick. How do you cope with all of yours?! I guess it’s easier (!) now they are bigger and can entertain themselves, but what about when they were littler? Eek!

  47. Brigitte says:

    Letting up on the Powerade didn’t work this time? My second thought is also too many high-fiber fruits and veggies for the gluten-deprived, causing massive gas blocked up in there. At least I hope it’s nothing more serious . .

  48. Heather says:

    Suburban Turmoil: Maybe you should try Chris’s latest paint color called LIGHTEN-THE-HELL-UP. Just sayin ;)

  49. Jennifer says:

    Hope you’re feeling better. I look awful in my Seventies getup.

  50. angie says:

    I vote for Gas-X!

    On a side note, I have had Crohn’s Disease (which doesn’t sound at all like what you have, by the way!) for over ten years and suddenly I can’t eat fresh cherries anymore. I had two last year and ended up with the WORST pain in my abdomen for a couple of days. Maybe you’ve been eating fresh cherries too?

  51. MsRebecca says:

    Hopefully it’s not the flu stomach ache + puking = unhappy

  52. Lisa Lisa says:

    Maybe you are PREGNANT!!! Just Kidding!

    I hope you feel better soon!

    P.S. You are always funny and a joy to read even when you are sick :o)