Ma Ingalls Has Nothing On Me
September 9, 2007
Last night we lost power for 3 hours, or 30 hours, it was hard to tell.
And despite me just writing this post at BlogHer about September being Disaster Preparedness month, we didn’t have one flashlight or candle handy. And since Rob quit smoking we didn’t even have any lighters or matches readily available.
So we stood there in the breakfast room, where we had just finished eating dinner feeling inept while my 2 and 4 yr olds screamed “Turn on the lights! Turn on the lights!” The concept of a power failure was lost on them.
My 11 yr old had been in the shower when the power went out. He grabbed a small flashlight and ran downstairs completely naked to tell us the power was out, you know in case we didn’t notice. Then he yelled at us to stop looking at him because he was naked. I tried to explain that it was the only light in a 5 mile radius so of course we were looking at him, but he continued to shriek and cover the “important areas” with his hands until I walked over and snatched the flashlight away from him.
Eventually we found some matches and a couple of flashlights. And we sat around getting sweaty and enjoying all the family togetherness devoid of any electronic distractions. That was really fun. And killed 20 minutes.
Bickering, cursing our misfortune, and drinking wine took up a bulk of the remainder of the time. To pass the time we called the power company over and over again in hopes that they would have an update we liked better. We listened to (or told) jokes with no discernible punchline.
And then I read a Berenstain Bears anthology.
Finally we decided that the fun must come to an end and it was bedtime. Oh the wailing and the anguished rending of garments that occurred when I suggested they go to bed in the DARK. Even though I told them that when they close their eyes it is dark, so what’s the difference. Yes, I am a monster.
Finally the power came back on and I had another glass of wine in celebration of the fact that I am not living 100 years ago. Or maybe it was because the kids were all in bed. It was hard to tell.
Posted by Chris @ 10:09 pm
Will work for teeny tiny elastics
September 7, 2007
Posted by Chris @ 3:26 pm
Where Have You Been?
Yesterday we had our first homeschool co-op meeting of the year. It was fun. Until my 6 yr old was stung by a bee. And then another. And then another. And he hugged my waist and lamented, “Why do bad things always happen to me? Why can’t someone else get bit.”
Then another kid got stung on his leg. And rather than feel better he cried, “Did he get stung three times like me? NO! I got stung badder.”
Then Miles decided to jump off the top of the slide that is about 5ft in the air. And he twisted his ankle. Poor baby. Though after carrying all 30 lbs of him around for what felt like 25 miles I put him down and told him to walk it off. And once he found out I had snacks in the car his ankle was miraculously better as he ran to the van shoving everyone else out of the way. “Mooooove! Move it! Es MY cookies!”
My 8 yr old had his first gymnastics lesson yesterday evening. And I have turned in to one of those mothers who thinks that their kid is too advanced for the class. But he is. He had to have a “try-out” before the season started and he was placed in a lower class so that he could learn the terminology. But if the class yesterday was any indication I think he would be better suited to working on his gymnastics vocabulary at home.
One of the things they had to do in the class was climb the rope. You know that long rope that hangs from the ceiling? I always hated that when I was a kid as I have wee wimpy arms and could never hoist my body weight up the rope. And hey, guess what most of the class yesterday couldn’t do it either. A couple of kids were able to get a few feet off of the ground. The coaches kept encouraging the kids “Go on, try to go as high as you can! You can do it!” My son took that to heart and when it was his turn he shot up the rope and was hanging from the metal beam before the coach even realized what was happening.
It was one of those defining moments when I realized that I have been a mother of boys for too long. I was completely unfazed.
It was hot in the gym. We had a long car ride home. My son began to feel nauseous. As soon as we got home he ran into the bathroom and threw up as he rounded the corner. It resulted in a scene that rivaled that of Linda Blair. Vomit was everywhere. The walls. The floor. The top of the toilet. The side of the sink. And some even made it into the toilet.
Yup, still unfazed.
My 12 yr old pulled his spacers out from between his teeth and i had to bring him back to the orthodontist to have them replaced. The only thing that stopped me from killing him was the $900 I have already put down as a deposit on the braces. It would be a shame to waste the money now. This morning he is getting his braces put on. While he is int eh orthodontist I am stocking up on Advil and ice cream. Also ear plugs and liquor.
Posted by Chris @ 8:46 am
Almost Wordless Wednesday
September 5, 2007
I have been so busy. Mostly spending time in my car driving places. And in between that none of it is particularly blog worthy. Dentist appointments, doctor appointments, blood work, orthodontist appointments, shopping, eating hummus, drinking wine, having a mid-life crisis, and this:
It is the sport that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends…
I came home one night and found this all set up. In my foyer. You know you are jealous.
Hi, my name is Chris and I live in a frat house.
Posted by Chris @ 9:32 pm
The Face of Two Years Nine Months
September 3, 2007
Realizing your sandwich has been cut into tiny twi-angles and not tiny squares. Oh, the horror.
Posted by Chris @ 9:54 pm