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My sewing is the most frightening

My sewing is the most frightening

October 2, 2007

My son seems to be under the mistaken impression that I am a seamstress. I have tried to shake him of this illusion to no avail.

A week ago at dinner while we were discussing Halloween costumes, he asked if he could make his own.

And my “he” we all know he meant “me.”

Before I could swallow and burst forth with, “Oh, hell no!” my husband said, “That is a great idea! Of course you can make your own costume.”

And by “you” we all know he meant “me”

So for the past week my son has been frantically sketching out costume ideas and bringing them to me for my sewing approval.

My usual vetoes of Halloween costumes depicting hookers, pimps, serial killers, and overly frightening things, has had new items added to it. Thus far I have overruled costumes which required:

Walking on 5 ft tall stilts.

Carrying large frames made of plywood.

Wearing things that would prevent him from fitting through doorways, though I did offer him the option of wearing his spaceship costume solely in the dining room and limiting his trick or treating to the various dining room chairs. Lest you think I am totally squelching all of his ideas with my iron fist.

Required me to weld metal parts together.

Finally he came up with an idea and sketched it out. We looked at it and I was just about to say I thought it would be fine when my 6 yr old sidled up behind us.

“You want to be a green Teletubbie?” my 6 yr old asked.

Yes, it is back to the drawing board.

Posted by Chris @ 10:08 am  

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  1. Shari says:

    I hope the costumes work out well! I’d love it if you could keep us posted. It is looking like I will be needing to be creative myself this year and trying torturing some fabric into something acceptable. ug.

  2. Emperorp says:

    I had just finished sharing a link to some of your entries (http://inthetrenchesofmotherhood.com/?cat=16) on my blog because I had enjoyed a wonderful laugh in the wee hours of this morning. (Thanks.) Then I returned to your blog and discovered this latest entry. My daughters (3 and 5) and I were just discussing what our own homemade costumes would be this year so your entry was very timely for us. The teletubbies comment was priceless as was the inevitable return to the drawing board that resulted. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Katie says:

    My oldest wants to be a piece of pie (apple specifically). ???

    Good luck!

  4. Karen Vogel says:

    Oooh, yeah - we have 3 great pirate capes (stitched by my sister-in-law) that I try to reuse every Halloween, but the boys are on to me this year. They want to be something different. I was trying to steer them to something simple, but my husband happened to be there at the time and came up with the idea that Brian should be a volcano and David a robot. Thanks a lot. Any volcano costume ideas? Send ‘em my way, please!

  5. kris says:

    Make him be an M&M. Easiest. Costume. Ever.

  6. Christine says:

    I haven’t even started the discussion. I’m getting double pay-backs for when I was a kid, and would come up with some psychotic idea the night before Halloween, or the Christmas Parade … every single year.

    The other girls in Flag Corp were always just plain, old Christmas presents with big bows on their head. Not me! No, sir-eeee! One year I was a carton of Egg Nog. Seriously. Completely recreated Bordan’s Egg Nog onto a refrigerator box. The next year: a skating Christmas Tree.

  7. Nicki says:

    Ok, I’ll own up. I’m lazy. I do sew (quilts) and I am also certain that the reason Target was invented was so that I could spend money on an outfit I could sew myself. I’m ok with that, call me a bad mom, but I’ll throw the money away on a costume they will only wear once…. simply, for the benefit of never having to deal with the creative genius and trying to get the bloody sewing machine to do what it’s suppose to do. Maybe you should recommend a ghost. Simple, and he could decorate the sheet as gruesomely as he wishes.

    Ps. Christine - love the Skating Christmas Tree!!

  8. Susan says:

    I think you should revisit the hobo idea. ;-)

  9. cce says:

    I have such badddd memories of having to parade in front of the entire school in some god-awful costume my mother concocted and hearing other mean and honest children whisper, “What is she supposed to be?” There was much pointing and guffawing. I haven’t been able to do Halloween since. My kids are getting store bought in lieu of my making a fool of them with my sewing handicap.

  10. Dana says:

    Had to laugh at this post cause I cannot sew either. And my son is always coming up with ideas that I cannot POSSIBLY do. I loved your list of what you won’t do. I can so totally relate.

  11. peepnroosmom says:

    You could always hot glue the costume together. Maybe.

  12. kellan says:

    So funny! I love your writing - I loved this post.

  13. Christine (a different one) says:

    Anyone remember when a costume was an uncomfortable (and flimsy) plastic mask and a vinyl vest-like thing? And we LIKED it?? Those were the simpler days. I’m trying to persuade my darling daughters they need to re-use their expensive ballet recital outfits….

    I think you ought to do the green teletubby and take lots of pictures!!! Woohoo!

  14. Michelle says:

    I just found you and am loving your archives (I started at the beginning) but I must say that your post from 9/2/05 was hysterical!

  15. Michelle says:

    and not but

  16. Andrea says:

    My mom used to dress us in our pajamas (this was when we were really little), mess up our hair, and tell everyone we were monsters. Then, as we got older, she made it completely clear that she was never going to buy us a Halloween costume. She *is* a seamstress.

    Unfortunately, the talent skipped a generation. I am going to make it completely clear to my kids that I am never going to sew them a Halloween costume. Sorry, kids.

  17. Kathie says:

    I don’t have kids, but stumbled onto your blog sometime ago via Houseblogs.net. Best costume I made for a 9 year old was a glow in the dark bloody eyeball (I made it for a co-worker). Two pieces of round fabric (white), sewn together with holes for head, legs, and arms, blue for the eye color (glues on with fabric glue), piece of black felt for the middle of the eye, red fabric paint for the blood, painted the whole thing with glow in the dark paint before sewing. Headband with black pipecleaners attached and bent so that it looked like an eyelash. Stuffed him with pillows so that he was round. I only WISH I had the pictures from that Halloween!! She spent the workday that I delivered it taking people into the storage closet to show how it glowed in the dark.

  18. MamaLee says:

    No sewing here either. If my kids want homemade costumes, they can be ghosts. It’s the best I can do!

  19. janet says:

    mickey mouse was always a hit in my house. easiest ever: a pair of red shorts, black turtleneck, black tights, MAYBE suspenders (if i felt like it), a piece of yarn for a tail and (don’t tell mr. disney) a mickey mouse hat that i took apart to attach the ears to a headband.

    ta-dah! no sewing neeeded!

  20. maria says:

    This sounds like my almost 8 year old designing the tree house he wants his father to build. It’s full of tunnels and rope ladders. We nod our head and hope that he’s satisfied w/the lean-to behind our shed;)

  21. debby says:

    I have sewn all my life. I’ve made gowns and now I quilt professionally.

    Having said that, I refuse to make Halloween costumes. They are every bit as complicated to make as a wedding gown (and sometimes moreso)!

    My kids’ costumes usually started with
    a) a pair of sweats
    b) a pair of dr. dentins
    c) a pillowcase

    It’s amazing what a hot glue gun and some felt can do.

    My son’s favorite costume was a magician. We had the rabbit in the hat, a drawn on mustache, a cape made from a round black tablecloth, and he got to carry a wand! Boys love carrying weapons, I mean wands.

    Good luck!

  22. Maddy says:

    Teletubbies are the most scary things on this earth, I’m so glad he’s changed his mind. I’d also suggest you don’t let him see any Barney shows either … none of your children will be able to sleep for months.

  23. t in h says:

    SO glad I don’t have to deal with all that! Well, not until February, anyway. ;-)

  24. Meritt says:

    Can’t wait to see what they come up with for you. I typically sew my kids costumes - but I figure you can’t really screw up too bad. I mean, it’s something they are going to be wearing in the dark, with a good possibility of it either raining or snowing, and it’s only gotta last one night! :)

  25. carrie says:

    I can’t even sew a button properly, so you can imagine my envy at the fact that you are even attempting this feat! Kudos!

  26. Leanne says:

    How about an aquarium? He would need a box that he can fit his torso in, Cut out the front like a frame (and holes for arms of course)and hang some foam fish, decorate with shells and seaweed on the bottom….
    Which son is this? Because if it’s not the 3 year old, he could probably do most of it himself….. :)

    can’t wait to hear what you come up with….!

  27. Lori says:

    this makes me think of the year i made my own costume. i went as a soda machine.

    i never wore a box-based costume again.

  28. Christine says:

    Hey, Christine (the other one),

    I painfully remember the little boxed plastic masks, with the toxic smelling tie-in-the-back vinyl costumes. I remember them vividly because one year I desperately wanted to be Marie Osmond. We waited til the last minute to run by TG&Y. Grabbed the costume, ran out the door and never looked at it again til we were home.

    Ya’ know how the costumes are all in a shambles by the time Halloween hits? And none of them are in the right spot (or some are mixed in with other sets with which they belong?).

    Yep. We bought Donnie. You think I’m kidding. Nope. It was already Halloween night. I went as Donnie Osmond.

  29. Kerry says:

    One year my son made his own costume. He was a pencil and a fine looking number 2 if you ask me…but it ended badly when people at EVERY house asked if he was the tin man. The last time I checked the tin man was made of tin, not YELLOW and didn’t have a pink eraser!

  30. Carly says:

    I was a laundry basket one year. All you gotta do is cut the bottom out of a laundry basket and tie jumpropes to make it hang from your shoulders. then hot glue a box of detergent to the outside and glue or tie some old clothes to it. Easy peasy.

  31. liz says:

    I was once one of a pair of dice. Upside down cardboard box. White paper, black construction paper dots. Head is 1, legs are 2, arms are middle of 3 and 5 respectively.

  32. Kathi says:

    My 8 year old and her two friends want to be a 3 headed “hippie freak”. I suggested buying hippy costumes and taking them to the local seamstress to stitch the shoulders together………so far the jury is still out.

  33. Amy says:

    I have made all of my kids’ costumes every single year, a 9 year old and a 3 year old. This year I threw Spiderman in the buggy, ordered a Naruto jacket online and said “Halleleujah!”

    I dont feel the least bit guilty but they were so darm cute as Spongebob and Patrick that one year.

    Just remember - felt, stitch-witch and a hot glue gun can be your friend.

  34. judi casey says:

    my 16 year old and a bunch of her friends are going as some of the characters from the game, guess who. thankfully, no sewing involved- only a basement full of girls with glow in the dark fabric paint.

    my kids learned long ago that i staple not sew. very sad really. i can barely sew on a button. made for an interesting surgery rotation.

  35. Fairly Odd Mother says:

    If it weren’t for store-bought costumes, my kids would go as streakers every year. Come to think of it, they may like that.

  36. brookem says:

    don’t put the welding equipment just yet, i’m sure your son will ask to be a bionicle next. i’m going as a jedi this year (bene) which should be fun. if i have the time i’m going to make darth vader pinata and a light saber to beat him with.

  37. paulette firestone says:

    Help! My 3 year old grand daughter wants to be a volcano and i can’t sew. Any ideas………….I never want to say no to her…..thank you ,,,,Paulette firestone

  38. Laura says:

    I AM a seamstress and get hounded with this every year. The best was when my then 4 year old decided she wanted to be “the earth and sky” for Halloween. I talked her down to Madeleine.

    Also - for Paulette above - use felt. You can glue it, or put on stick on velcro, and it should be really easy to make. Get some pom poms or streamers for the lava.

  39. Julie says:

    volcano: Big gray trashbag. Cut out holes for head and arms. Hula hoop attached with duct tape around opening (bottom). Orange crepe paper around neck opening, trailing down mountainsides. Headband deocrated with orange pipecleaners, foam balls, construction paper, etc, in an upward “blast”. Can add word “ka-boom!” in paint on back of mountain or whatever.