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Open letter my son (and others in training for teenagerdom)

Open letter my son (and others in training for teenagerdom)

October 15, 2007

You seem to be under the impression that someone has died and left you boss of this house, me and your younger siblings. I regret to inform you that is not the case.

I realize that being an almost teenager is hard what with all that brooding, sulking and keeping track of all the ways that you have been wronged. As well as eating everything that is not nailed down. Oh and perfecting your eye rolling technique. That has be taking a lot of your time.

Now go brush your teeth and clean up your room. And tell your mother you love her, because you know you do despite what the permanent sneer on your face says.

Posted by Chris @ 10:48 pm  

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  1. Karen says:

    Haha, the joys of teenagers and almost-teenagers.

    They sure do eat a lot, don’t they? I can’t even tell you how often one of my teenagers will come down at 2am ‘Mom, I am hungry!’


  2. terilynn says:

    My twin girls are 15 - you have no idea what’s comin’, honey!!! They are the best birth control on the planet (however, I snuck 3 other kids in before they hit the eye-rolling snotty stage)

  3. janet says:

    you have not yet begun to fight, chris. and just wait till that little princess of yours hits adolesence. boys? they’re EASY!

  4. Mary W says:

    PS Finish your Algebra homework and pick up the hugemansized shoes from the hallway - the odor is killing the cat.

    when did my son move to your house?

  5. Jolyn says:

    I am so with you on this one, sister.

  6. MoMMY says:

    My 12.5 y/o son informed me a couple of weeks ago that they treat him like an adult at school. He wanted to know why I insist on treating him like a child. He wanted to know why I must know where he is going before he leaves. The injustice! And then I killed him.

    Ok, I grounded him.

  7. peepnroosmom says:

    I hear you, Chris. The 12 year old here is acting the same way. If I hear “I don’t care” one more time, just one more time….

  8. carrie says:

    OMG, can I copy this and tape it to my 5th-grader’s forehead? It is like his life is sooooo hard. Ugh!

  9. Owlhaven says:

    hmm…I shoulda remembered this, but thanks for the reminder regarding the attitudes of my newly adopted 12 year old. Guess it might not all be just-adopted-and-living-in-a-new-country ’stuff’.
    (Yikes– I can’t decide if that is comforting or not)
    Mary, mom to many

  10. MamaLady says:

    OK Chris, keep all this teenager talk to yourself. I don’t want to hear it. I’ve already lived through my own teenage years. I’m certainly not looking forward to being on the other side in a few years.
    Can we just stop time now?

  11. Karen Vogel says:

    MamaLady, you get to relive every blessed moment of it. It isn’t fun. In our house, the girl has been far worse than the boy - the boy seems just not to want to have heard my voice talking at him for a year or so; but written communication was fine. My teenage girl, on the other hand, would prefer that I cease to exist.

    So much for homeschooling helping to prevent those adolescent trials, Chris! (As I had so fervently believed before my daughter turned 13 - I was so innocent and stupid)

  12. SabrinaT says:

    Can I print this out, laminate it and stick it in my sons wallet? That is great!!

  13. Beverly says:


    Been there, done that.

    Still there.

  14. Lauren says:

    Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my 17 year old was giving pointers to your child. I shall have him punished immediately!! Or well, grounded anyhow. ~sigh~

    I hate to say it but, it doesn’t get any easier.

  15. JESSICA says:

    oh you just read my son up and down !! hes going to be 13 in may..

  16. Katie says:

    Doh, I’m so not ready. Give me a house full of snot nosed toddlers in diapers again please.

  17. Jodi says:

    My 14yo son has been acting this way since he was 5. It is a testament to sheer willpower that he is still alive.

  18. Three Going On Thirteen says:

    [...] Chris just wrote a letter to her almost-teenage son and I could have written the same letter to Thomas. [...]

  19. rebecca says:

    I feel your pain, although my two 8 year olds must be over-achievers having started this behavior already. And their little brother (5) is taking copious notes. Sweet heaven help us all…

  20. Jess says:

    Holy crap where do you have the camera hidden? In my son’s bedroom, our living room, where where? I think you just perfectly described a night at our house. What is it that makes them think they are the boss of me, I mean my youngest son?

  21. meritt says:

    I’m LOVING life with teens… truly. Ok, so maybe I’m weird. LOL. But I love parenting teens far more than the 4-10 age group.

    Oh - you have to check out my entry here; http://tinyurl.com/3dp94r

    I think you’ll laugh! All us Mom’s have this in common!

  22. fidget says:

    uhh so what you are telling me is that even though I have a four year old doing all of the above, it is going to get worse? duuuuuuuuuuuuuude that just sucks

  23. Carola says:

    oh, and I’m struggling with my almost-2-year-old’s tantrums….I’m so not looking forward to her being a teenager.

  24. Mrs. Schmitty says:

    Can I borrow that? Every.Single.Word? It’s perfect for my 9 year old.

  25. Carrie says:

    My kids are 14 and 11… The other day my 14 year old came home from H.S. band practice telling me that the band director had told one of the students that if he rolled his eyes one more time at him he would scoop them out with a dirty spoon… I am still laughing, she thought I would have sympathy or be outraged… nope. I love the band director!

  26. Dana says:

    My son is about to turn 13 and I’m just not ready for all that!!!!

  27. Deb says:


  28. Holly Smith says:

    Well said!

  29. Stephanie says:

    When I was a teenage my Mom called me SRT, and for YEARS I didn’t know what it meant… only recently I found that it stands for “Stinking Rotten Teenager” … now in my 30’s and seeing SRT’s around I totally get it :)

  30. Susan says:

    My 7th grader still isn’t to this stage yet, thank God. Can I just freeze him now, while he’s still so sweet, and unfreeze him at, say, 20?

  31. Jamie says:

    I could have written this letter to my SIX YEAR OLD with the way he’s been acting lately! If he’s like this at six, what does that say for the teen years?! Start sending wine now, I need to stock up!

  32. Amy Girl says:

    Tweens, ya gotta love’em.

  33. Kira says:

    Amen, sister, amen.
    My twelve year old is making me insane, and my reaction to his…twelveness reminds me of when he turned two. One day my agreeable, sweet child stood up in his high chair and when I told him to sit down or lunch was over, he fixed me with a contemptuous look and said, “You will NOT.”
    What happened to my BABY?

  34. Shannon says:

    The eye rolling is a skill that must be perfected.

  35. Kini says:

    You are SSSSOOOOOOOOOO right.

    As much as I love mine, I don’t like her all the time. *sigh*

  36. Heather's Garden says:

    I have 2 step-sons now 17 and 21 who entered my life when they were 5 and 9. Try going through the teenage years as a 2nd class parent. Mistress of my home, yet not really allowed to take an equal share of the decision-making. You get all the snarkiness of a teenaged boy, but you can’t threaten grounding because his mom won’t enforce it at her house where he is most of the time. Can’t take away the car because her parents gave it to him. Don’t get any say where he’s going to college even though you’re paying for half. Add in a husband who feels so guilty about his boys growing up in a broken home (though she divorced him) that he has trouble even telling them not to do something. UGH!

  37. CaliforniaGrammy says:

    All I can add is the fact that as you get to be my age, you’ve totally forgotten those teenage days, and life is good! We raised two daughters and I swear they were no problem at all (that I can remember)!

  38. Megan Del says:

    I feel you girl, on the bizarre shared parenting thing of the step-world. Sounds like you made it (are making it) through alive!
    Chris - I’m sure you’ll come up with some certified way to handle rebellions. You’ve been dealing with insurgents for years!

  39. Mary W says:

    I just noticed the aptness of my son’s birthdays - he turned two and will turn 13 on friday the 13th.

  40. Mysti says:

    You have no idea what a relief it is to know it’s not just my kid.

    Unfortunately, I have another one that will hit this stage within a year. Oy.

  41. Jill says:

    That sort of sounds like my 2 year old.

  42. Pamela says:

    Teenagers love you to treat them like a friend! Try to be their friend first before they open up and talk to you? read my coming blog comment on a teenager asking me why her parents always shout at her.Pamela

  43. Katiebod (Roses are Red, Violets are Violet) says:

    My five year old
    Can drive me batty
    Whining about his toys

    Now it sounds like I
    Have so much to look forward to…
    Parenthood? Oh the joys!

  44. kathleen says:

    My 9 year old girl is acting very much like an almost teenager lately (she’s always been an early bloomer)…does that mean I have 10 more years of this?? Aahhhh! Or do I just get out of it earlier (I hope)!

  45. Shash says:

    Giving you full credit, but framing this and putting it on my son’s wall in his room so he can look at it every day.


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  47. judi casey says:

    and you have just begun. buckle your seat belt- it will be one helluva ride.

  48. jean says:

    I always thought it was just the girls who gave their mom a hard time. I was so, so wrong. Imagine my surprise to have my 11 year old son going thru mood swings. After a particularly tough day I stood there and asked my husband “Does he really thinks his balls are bigger then mine? I don’t think so.” Sorry for the crudeness but really, he was acting so obnoxious. My husband just laughs at me.

  49. Woman with Kids says:

    P.S. Stop picking on your brother. He will someday be as big as you have recently become, and I believe I may have one day of blindness if he decides to even the score.

    P.P.S. Just because you’re bigger than me? Does not mean you need to pick me up and move me out of your way. Walk. Around.

  50. Deb says:

    Not just the eye rolling, but if I hear, “whatever” again anytime soon I may need to be restrained.

    Just for one minute, imagine the look on my 18 yo when I told him he was grounded for the weekend. (For “borrowing” the EZ Pass thingy from my car that let’s you go through the toll booth. Imagine my surprise when I drove through and heard the alarms. Oh, yea.)Oh, the indignity of it all…he couldn’t believe I could do this now that he was 18! Live in my house, follow my rules. He spent the weekend contritely cleaning his room and doing yard work. Once it sunk in. It was almost worth the alarms going off!

    PS I have to say, I really do love the teen years. They are so much more fun and so much less physical work than when they were younger.

  51. Anne Glamore says:

    I’ve been trying to read 2 books to deal with my son- “Strong Mothers, Strong Sons” and whatever John Rosemond’s teen book is.

    I hadn’t gotten through the first chapter of the first book when I realized I forgot to tell Finn about wet dreams when I gave him the sex talk and I had to do that and I’ve been WAY off track ever since.

    *eye roll for me*

  52. angelawd says:

    Ugh, these painful years. I don’t remember ever being as mouthy as my kids are…but I’m not asking my mom for her opinion.

  53. Sharon says:

    As my Mom used to say…”If looks could kill, I’d be dead now!!!

  54. Heather says:

    Teenagers…. enough said ;)

  55. Lucy Locket says:

    As the mother of adult sons, I’m offering you a ray of hope.It seems when they reach about 22 or 23 they realize you aren’t dumber than a stump and you can actually carry on an intelligent conversation.

  56. Haley says:

    I teach 7th grade, so I know exactly what you are talking about. Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, it is often worse from the girls than the boys. But, today, in a “meet me in the hall after class talk” - only my second this year - I was told by a student that it was his turn to talk and my turn to listen. Ummm, not so much. He’ll be thinking about it tomorrow in silent lunch. Joy.

  57. Rebekah says:

    Wow they can be crazy sometimes… sounds a lot like my 11 year old…

  58. YetAnotherKaren says:

    Mine is 11 and I have taught him to repeat along with me the phrase, “The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

    I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe it, though.

  59. Heth says:

    Right there with you. Don’t forget the dramatic sighing.

  60. Tina says:

    oh, I so hear you on the eye rolling thing! I started asking my daughter if she was looking for her brain when she did that.

  61. Linds says:

    Been there. Can I suggest that when you need to tell him off, climb up a step or 2 so that you are taller than him?! Oh, by the way, my son is now 30 and a delight. It was a long time coming.

  62. Parenting a teen–and other things that make you stupid says:

    [...] You can see how she is learning about things that fall into these areas. And Chris Jordan? Her open letter to her son was priceless. (And for the record, telling your teen that continual and repetitve rolling of his [...]

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