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Holiday Food Fiascos

Holiday Food Fiascos

November 19, 2007

My misadventures in the kitchen are legendary, so legendary in fact that my family has just come to expect them as the inevitable fact of my cooking.

Let’s see there was the time I cooked the turkey with the plastic wrapped neck and gizzards still inside. But who hasn’t done that, right? Let me see a show of hands.

Then there was that time I put the turkey in the oven frozen thinking that surely it would defrost as it cooked. I pulled out a golden looking turkey that was still frozen in the center. Maybe if I had cooked it in the oven for another 15 hours until the outside was charred black dust the inside would have been edible.

Or the time I made soup and put it in the soup tureen on the table well in advance of the rest of the meal being done. (A meal which was late getting on the table because I had not mastered the food timing juggle.) When we sat down to eat the soup was iced cold, prompting this infamous quote from my mother-in-law, “Food just doesn’t stay hot the way it used to.” Ah yes, because we know over the past 50 years the Laws of Thermodynamics have changed dramatically.

Oh, and there was that one year we were dog sitting for our friend’s black lab over the holidays. They told us that he would eat everything he came across, but the full extent of this tidbit came on Christmas morning when the dog got into our walk in pantry. A pantry where I had put all the cakes, pies and desserts I had slaved over for an entire week.

The dog ate them all. Every last bit of delectable dessert gone in a few moments. And then he vomited it all back up all over the previously mopped kitchen floor, the horror of which I am not sure I can fully express. I did empathize with all those kids who have ever had to say the dog ate their homework.

I almost forgot about this one. I’ll offer it up as a tip to you from me, because I am nice like that. Should you want to make festive rice crispy treats for your family as an easy child friendly dessert, go with the green food coloring. The red food coloring make it look like a plate of raw hamburger meat. Although the disgusted looks on the faces of your family while you pretend you are eating raw meat are pretty priceless.

Wow, it really is a miracle that any of family ever come over and expect to eat at my house, isn’t it?

So how about you? Please tell me you have food fiascos to share? Tell me I am not alone. Please?

Post it on your blog and then go to BlogHer and post the link using the handy dandy widget they have there.

Posted by Chris @ 12:48 pm  

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  1. Sarah G. says:

    Let’s see there was the time I made a special pasta sauce on Fathers day and we all deemed it inedible, let’s hear it for a back up meal of hamburgers and hot dogs! Then there was the time I made challah and forgot to add the salt, the result was rather bland. Oh and years ago (before kids) we made a soy baked snapper that did not turn out right and dumped the whole mess in the garbage. Of course this was the one time our soy intolerant dog decided to rip into said garbage, eat all the offending fish and promptly convert from soy intolerant to soy allergic. The poor thing went from a normal looking dachshund to a swollen and itchy cross between a shar-pei and a bloodhound. So on top of the bad dinner we had to take the dog to the vet.

    My mom has some really awesome food disasters, but I’m saving those for a post.

  2. She Likes Purple says:

    I will absolutely do this. Seeing as the first time I cooked for my now husband I made baked ziti without boiling the noodles first. THE RECIPE DID NOT SAY TO. He ate it, even though (as he told me later) it tasted like an art project.

  3. BSU fan says:

    I made broccoli soup that was absolutely disgusting! My dh said he would eat it but I made him stop. We ended up eating pizza. Now my kids ask for broccoli soup so they can have pizza.

  4. Abby says:

    Last year, I made a beautiful bourbon pecan pie - but I forgot the butter! It actually was edible but my family had a good laugh! Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. Sara says:

    When we were newlyweds I offered to make steak for a romantic New Year’s Eve dinner in. I put the steaks into the broiler (which was how I always saw my mother make steaks when not grilling them) and went on to other cooking. I checked the steaks and found them ice cold. I called to my husband that the broiler was broken. He came to look. “Honey,” he said, “that’s not the broiler. That’s the oven drawer.” “Nooo,” I replied in my very knowledgable way (after all, what did he know about cooking?) “That’s the broiler. Ovens don’t have drawers.” After I insisted again that it WAS INDEED the broiler, he proceeded to open the oven door and show me the heating element that was red hot. He pointed and said, “No. THAT”S the broiler.” I had grown up with a gas stove where the broiler was on the bottom in a drawer. The oven/stove we had was electric (which I hated with a white-hot passion) and the broiler was located in the oven. The bottom drawer was just that–a drawer! Once I put the steaks in the REAL broiler and chewed on my own indignation for awhile, I was able to see the humor. Now, 16 years later, whenever we are broiling steaks, we call them “drawer steaks” and have a good laugh.

  6. kalisah says:

    I once tried to make a pecan pie for thanksgiving, but it didn’t occur to me that the filling would set as it cooled. Every time I pulled it out of the oven, it was all jiggly, so I put it back in to cook some more. By the time I had finally finished cooking it, my brother called it “pecan jerky.”

    And this one other time, I invited some neighbors over for dinner. I had made meatloaf, and forgot the key ingredient of lipton onion soup mix, so I basically served them a big ol’ lump of dry hamburger meat. Yum.

  7. EmmaNadine says:

    I once made muffins that were so bad we decided they were unfit for human consumption. So we took them to the river to feed them to the geese and the geese refused to eat them. That is when you know your baking was really bad.

  8. ollka says:

    When I was a kid, I decided to make my brother a birthday cake in lieu of a gift. Mom said she trusted me and wouldn’t make a safety cake. I followed the recipe in my Little Princess Encyclopedia religiously… The result was so saccharine that to this day I am amazed at the bravery of my family, none of whom spit that first bite out.
    I don’t cook now. The cake still haunts me.

  9. debbie says:

    I had put bread rolls in the oven to rise with water. I turned off the oven and forgot I had the rolls still rising. We decided not to have Thanksgiving at home (winter roads improved) and headed to the families for two days. The smell of yeast running all over my oven when we got home still is with me!

  10. Marie says:

    The first time I cooked a turkey I caught the oven on fire. Thought you were the only one to cook the giblets in the turkey ? Nope DH still harrasses me over that one. I have more but cannot remember them right now.

  11. Jennifer says:

    Well, I just got through blogging about my current turkey fiasco. Let’s just say I am cooking my turkey today, not on Thursday. http://getting-ahead.blogspot.com/2007/11/turkey-fiasco-averted.html

  12. Stephanie says:

    A few years ago, I was taking care of my mom who had cancer. It was Christmas eve and I had made 2lbs of homemade fudge, which was sitting in the fridge, cooling overnight. Being on copious amount of drugs that prevented sleep, my mom was roaming around the house in the night and decided she would be helpful and pull out the 2lbs of fudge to soften a bit on the counter. The trouble was, she didn’t really have the strength or coordination to be handling such a load of Christmas goodness. It was 4:00am when the house was awoken by a sickening thud followed by a shatter. My husband and I were asleep in the basemen. Terrified she had fallen and hurt herself, we wrestled each other up the stairs to find my mom standing in the corner of the kitchen, sheepish grin on her face. My husband was standing there in nothing but his skivvies, me in a t-shirt, my mom in her nightgown, surrounded by thousands and thousands of pieces of glass shards and fudge chunks. Barefoot, my mom remained trapped in the corner, while my husband and I worked out way toward the corner to free her. The entire process was complicated by the dogs who kept trying to get in and “help,” but afraid they would slice their paw open on the glass, I spent the time trying to push them out of the kitchen, while my husband tried to get the glass up off the floor. It took us a solid 30 minutes to get a path to free my mom, and needless to say, we had to make more fudge Christmas morning.

  13. emily says:

    ok, the drawer steaks = hilarious.

    probably my top two kitchen disasters were a cake and burritos.

    the cake overflowed from its pans and caught fire on the bottom of the oven. while trying to put it out, the chocolatey fire spread to the kitchen (shag!) carpet. wow.

    and the burritos were a recipe that i think was doomed to fail - i’m not sure how much my error played into it. but it was a recipe for sweet potato burritos - the filling made from sweet potatoes and beans….even my dear husband, who eats most anything, didn’t want leftovers. we barely choked it down.

  14. Kelly says:

    yep, i do this stuff all the time too. too many stories to even begin to share.

    but i will say that i made my rice krispy treats green for st. pat’s day one year and i thought they looked sorta like they had molded and mildewed.

    still tasty though!

    of course, i’d eat the bloody meat looking ones too. i’m not real picky. fortunately.

  15. Cheryl says:

    I accidentally poisoned a dinner guest one time. I had gotten a list of foods she was allergic to from her boyfriend and dutifully avoided them. After she had scarfed down about half of the artichoke dip I made she asked for the recipe to make it herself. I went through the limited list and when I got to Paprika she got ashen and said, “did you say paprika?” Yup, boyfriend forgot that one and we had to adjourn the dinner so we could go to the ER as her airway was closing up.

    So techinically, this one was my fault, but really, who is allergic to paprika??????

  16. Emily says:

    Early in our marriage, my husband decided to ‘impress’ me by cooking. He made hamburgers, rice and green beans - sounds good, right? Well, he figured that he would play ‘chef’ and experiment with seasonings. I took one bite of the burger and wanted to spit it out it was SO bad. Turns out, vanilla extract doesn’t really go with meat.

  17. BOSSY says:

    Bossy has her meal thing together but the dessert is a bit iffy. For instance pie crusts - how does one get it from words to the oven?

  18. nan says:

    Oh! My friend’s ex-husband’s sister-in-law did the “plastic bag of giblets in the turkey” method of Christmas baking!

    You are not alone!

  19. Katie says:

    Last year I made my first turkey and was so proud of myself that I remembered to take out the gibbets. But forgot the neck! Why do they put that thing in there anyways, doesn’t everyone just throw them away?

  20. taffi says:

    I can’t pick just one of my own fiascos. Let’s just say I come from a long line of highly distracted cooks… my grandma, as a young bride, made a beautiful cherry pie for my grandpa that was full of salt instead of sugar. They fed it to the pig… which died. True story.

    But I’m soooo remembering red rice krispy treats for next Halloween!

  21. lena says:

    Once when I was about 18 ,I was home visiting my mother. I had brought my 5 month old son.

    My mom was at work ,my sister at school. The baby peacefully napping on a huge bean bag chair.

    I decide to cook some french fries then my friend called .About 30 minutes,after forgetting all about the pan of oil …cooking all that time, I walked into the kitchen right as the pan burst into flames.

    I totally freaked out. I could hear the popcorn popping in the cabinets above the stove.

    I drug the bean bag (and still sleeping baby) out the front door and called 911 .They said “what’s your address there?”

    “ugh 512, ugh 742, ugh oh! Shit ! I don’t know!”

    (It was my mom’s apartment, I had never lived there)

    The firemen had to rescue my sisters cat and my mom was not too happy.

    I’m sure I’ve had many food fiascoes. But that one has to take the cake.
    And was the most expensive.

  22. annie says:

    Ha! My fiasco happened just yesterday, as a matter of fact! I’m a single mother of a singleton, so I’m not used to cooking big quantities. Last night was our annual church Thanksgiving pot luck and I was doubling recipes to bring. Except the stuffing - I actually quadrupled that. But only the broth part… Bread soup anyone?

  23. Kim says:

    My sister left the bag ‘o giblets in the bird, but thought it was stuffing that came with the turkey.

    I had made gravy once that came out kinda lumpy and decided to strain the lumps out before serving. But I forgot to put something UNDER the collander, so all I had left were lumps as the gravy went down the drain.

    The red Rice Krispie treats would be great for Halloween!

  24. ellemenope says:

    I’ll post this here as my own blog is depressing these days. One year I made pumpkin pies from scratch. Really from scratch — started the pumpkins from seed, grew them in the garden, picked them, cooked them and made 6 glorious pumpkin pies. I even did the crust from scratch. They were perfect! I left them on the kitchen table to cool while I took a shower. In the meantime, my two-year-old twin daughters decided they wanted to taste them and stuck their little fingers one by one into each pie. When I came back, the pies had little holes in them all over, like a dalmation. I remember calling my husband on the phone and sobbing — like what was he going to do? Fun times with toddler twins!

  25. Sadie says:

    One time, while pregnant, a craving got the better of me and I decided to add something to my usual spaghetti recipe. Turns out, frozen spinach tastes god-awful in spaghetti. It made the meal inedible, and I spent the night crying.

  26. Gail says:

    This one is 45 years old but my Mom remembers it like it was
    yesterday.One day when I was 12 she was preparing Dad’s usual lunch which consisted of a fried egg sandwich. I begged her to let me make it for him because ” I knew just how he liked it”.She agreed and we sent him off to work. The problem? I knew how he liked his eggs- for breakfast. Over easy. Turns out you really should cook the egg a little longer if you’re making a sandwich with it.

  27. lotus07 says:

    This is why I don’t do holiday food……if I really want a Turkey dinner, I can go to Denny’s….that is why they are there.

  28. Lacey says:

    Once I tried to cook a frozen pizza on a plastic tray. Not my proudest moment.

  29. elizabeth says:

    Recently I made rice krispies for some school event - had a new bag of rice krispies in the cupboard (and they’re not cheap) - and recalled having some leftover from awhile back. I used to much butter, for starters - and then all the bag of marshmallows, and the leftover krispies - which ended up tasting a bit flat (er, stale - the faux rubbermaid didn’t keep them as fresh as I would have preferred). I pretty much took a plate of goo to the function - but people braved eating them - and commented that they LOVE really gooey krispies (too much marshmallow to really notice the flatness of the krisps) - it was just funny to see who would and would not partake in the goo fest…

  30. Kathy from NJ says:

    My friend told her much younger sister-in-law that the neck was the turkey’s penis. Then she proceeded to cook it and put the meat in the gravy. Guess who didn’t have any gravy that year?

    The first time I cooked dinner for my (now) husband, I had lit candles on the table. I leaned over to give him his plate and my very long hair caught on fire. I couldn’t figure out why he was slapping my head!

  31. Andrea says:

    My sister once caught chocolate chip cookies on fire in the microwave-she wanted that hot from the oven taste… I have many cooking fiascos but can’t remember them right now.

  32. Enjay says:

    I don’t remember many cooking mishaps, but I will share the most memorable. When I first moved out it was into a rather elderly mobile home. My then boyfriend, now ex husband, and I bought some fish for our first meal in our new place. I had never cooked with a gas stove, but I was pretty stoked because I had heard that they were much better than electric. I fired that bad boy up and popped in the fish for the required 20 minutes. Checked on it, and it was still cold. Hrm, well, the oven is old, perhaps the temperature is off? So I let it go longer, checked it ten minutes later, starting to cook, but sloooowly. Now, the only way I knew to check for doneness was to see how easily the fish flaked with a fork and by how translucent it was. After 45 minutes it flaked easily and was white, so I pronounced it done and served.
    We ate it, but it tasted really weird. I picked up an oven thermometer with my next paycheck (and that’s about all I could afford with it, remember those days? :)) and discovered that the stove ran at a steady 215 degrees, no matter what it was set on. I called the company that had sold us the place and hooked everything up, they came out and we discovered that it was an lp stove, apparently the configuration is different enough that it vents most of the natural gas rather than burns it. They converted it and it ran beautifully thereafter.

    Now, I had been cooking for a long time prior, but had never attempted fish before. I actually started cooking when I was in elementary school as a form of self preservation. I came home after school one day when I was in 4th grade to find my mother standing outside in her bathrobe, talking to the landlord while the nice firemen finished checking out the ceiling in the kitchen and attic. Mom, infamous for her bottomless biscuts and burnt/raw foods, had decided that cheese popcorn would be a nice treat, so she popped up a batch in a pot(this would have been 1979 or so, well before microwave popcorn), layed some american singles on top of the popcorn and put it back on the burner. Apparently it wasn’t melting well, so she poured in more oil and turned the burner up. Then, exhausted, she went and sat down while it cooked. The smoke alarm woke her up, so she called the landlord and went outside to wait for him. Fortunately he just lived up the street and was able to get there and call the fire deparment before too much damage was done, just a nice hole into the attic. I believe that he installed a vent in that spot so it worked out rather well, actually.

    To my mom’s credit she was on chemo and radiation for non-hodgkins lymphoma at this time, but my sister and I took over the cooking from then on. By the end of the school year I could make a mean goulash, and I’ve built my repitoire from there.

  33. pam says:

    Yeah, nothing says Happy Thanksgiving more then a deep fried turkey that looks crispy and so delicious on the outside but once cut runs red juice all over the antique turkey platter that has been in the family for 150 years. Yum.
    Shoot! Not enough oil to refry it again? Just borrow the neighbors used oil.

  34. Fold My Laundry Please says:

    I got my link up on your BlogHer post. #4, that’s me, baybeee! I’m actually surprised at how much I had to say. Thanks for the great idea for a post!

  35. Lovebabz says:

    When I met and married my husband 12 years ago I was a vegetarian. So that first Thanksgiving I had this idea to have a vegetarian holiday. I bought and made a Tofurky with it’s own gravy. Oh my GOD it was the worst thing I have ever had in my life. My husband gracously ate it and didn’t complain–ok I didn’t hear any complaints until several years later. Now that we are divorcing we still laugh about that Torfurky. I am cracking up as I post this.

  36. Sarah says:

    Don’t worry, we all have our kitchen meltdowns. One of my favourites was the time I rang a new friend and told her I was making chilli for dinner, would she like some? I cooked a mean chilli con carne, which she ate. Slowly. I truly admire her guts and graciousness because it wasn’t until she’d politely polished off the last mouthful that she admitted she was vegetarian. How mortified was I?
    I attempted to make it up to her by offering her coffee afterwards. So I whip up a coffee, adding sugar from the bowl beside the stove. Only thing is, the bowl by the stove wasn’t sugar - it was salt (it was a Scottish winter and my flatmate had been cooking up big batches of soup). Poor girl.
    Amazingly, we remained friends for quite some time after this, though she did always suggest meeting at a cafe after that incident. I just can’t imagine why!

  37. Debbie H says:

    I think we have that black lab. Ours eats all and everything left unprotected. She’s 9 years old and so far has eaten: one loaf of garlic french bread, a dozen Springerly cookies-raw, one dozen choc. chip cookies, two chocolate cakes (over a two day period), 5 M-n-M Plastic candy canes, candy, plastic and all, one meatloaf dinner for husband, assorted donuts left unprotected, several full trash cans, assorted bathroom trash cans, pull-ups and I’m sure other I’ve blocked from my memory. You see apparently its hard to train the humans in this household, we apparently can’t remember that this 95lb eating machine lives here. And no she’s never gotten sick from any of this..

  38. Kate says:

    ok, the nonsequitor o’ the evening - what’s the name of the other blog you write for - w/ the kids stuff/product reviews …………?thanks

  39. MommaJ says:

    I’ve got that black lab, too–except she’s a chocolate. They’re all the same, those labbies. Her most famous, er, intervention occurred after I had spent ages with toothpicks and food coloring decorating a huge cake to look like tie-dye for my little girl’s 60’s themed birthday party the next day. The phone rang and I turned away–really just pivoted myself around to the wall phone–had a 10 second conversation, and turned back, only to see 1/3 of the cake missing and a guilty-looking lab with frosting coated whiskers. And believe it or not, my first thought (well, after “I will kill this dog”) was “I can fix this!” I actually thought that with some creative frosting work I could disguise the gaping hole in the cake–what I planned to do about the dog saliva I don’t really know. Anyhow, I came to my senses and ended up staying up to the wee hours baking and decorating a new cake. Among the dog’s other memorable scarfings were a set of Crayolas (rather entertaining for the one on pooper scooper duty the next day) and a twenty dollar bill.

  40. Kate says:

    last year my mother in law served a ‘ slightly undercooked” read : raw - turkey. which , of course, would beget and the seething side of salmonnila (sp?)stuffing .

    some people take fri off to “recover.”… unfortunately, this means something else in our family.

  41. Heather says:

    I loved reading all of these comments! Too funny!

    When my husband and I married I was 16, yes SIXTEEN. I barely knew how to wipe my own, well you know.

    I threw a package of frozen hamburger meat that was wrapped in foil to defrost in the microwave. It sounded like the 4th of July in the kitchen!

    I had Rubbermaid containers for the salt and sugar but failed to label them. I asked my husband to get the SUGAR out of the pantry trusting he would double check and make sure it was indeed sugar not SALT. Those chocolate chip cookies were ones I will never forget. The kids all ran in and grabbed them and took huge bites and in sync gagged and spit them out all over the kitchen floor.

    Last but not least, I made coffee with no coffee filter. I just dumped the coffee in the basket and flipped on the coffee pot. :)

  42. Darcie says:

    The post and comments are great. I’ve had many cooking disasters aside from the one in my post. For instance…did you know that skim milk and margirine are NOT the same as whole milk and butter when you make fudge. No matter how long you leave it in the fridge/freezer it will not harden. It still taste great, it just needs to be eaten with a spoon.

  43. Michelle says:

    My dad and I wanted to make cookies to surprise my mom. She kept all the baking ingredients in nice Rubbermaid containers. Of course, they were unlabeled, and of COURSE I grabbed the powdered sugar instead of the flour. What came out of the oven was practically candy (and just as good as cookies, according to 8-year-old me).

  44. Ashley says:

    I wanted to be really, er, nice and remind you of the time you cooked hamburgers in the oven without a drip pan. I loved that…too bad I didn’t learn from it. I did that like 3 weeks ago. I also prepared a recipe that called for seasonall, but I used allspice. Gross.

  45. jen says:

    Back in the (olden) days when they used to teach Home Economics (read: cookery) at school (I am in the UK), I once made a sponge cake so bad it bounced when you threw it on the floor. I kid you not….

  46. heather says:

    I once tried to make a nice meal for my boyfriend who eventually became my husbuand. I made lasagna from scratch and I was proud of myself. Everything was going really well until I took it out of the oven and realized that I didn’t boil the lasagna noodles. My future husband said it was fine and we cut with steak knives. I knew then that I would marry that man especially because he never said one word about eating lasagna that was so CRUNCHY!

  47. Marci says:

    I have really had a laugh this morning reading all of these stories. I also have cooked a chicken with the giblets and neck inside. Who knew?

  48. Chris says:

    Ashley, yes but when I wrote this I was thinking only holiday related food fiascos. Other wise the post would have been too overwhelming ;-)

  49. kim says:

    O.K. here we go the worst thing I have ever made was oatmeal raisin cookies…I was so proud of them so I shared them with my niece (age 10 at the time) and my sister. My niece exclaimed from the back seat “Kimmy these are hot” “No they are not”
    “Yes they are and what is this?” As she leaned forward to show me a small lil seed type object.. My siter looked at it and looked at me … “Sister you used whole cloves in these cookies!!!” UUUUMMMMM Yup WHOLE CLOVES PEOPLE>
    Never made them again….

  50. Audrey says:

    I’ve made a pie crust so tough it was impossible to cut into. When I was first married I made chilli with cinnamon instead of chilli powder. My husband still comments on the cinnamon in the chilli; twenty five years later.


  51. speck says:

    there are so many to choose from…..

    the pecan pies I made without eggs….an essential ingredient to the jelly like filling.
    the turkey that the dog literally ran off with …. like in the Christmas Story movie…yes, that really happened to us. We had hamburgers.
    The scalloped potatoes that looked quite done and beautiful and golden which was actually quite undone… have you ever had crunchy scalloped potatoes? I have.
    The pickles that someone thought would be cute red and green, so we added food color to the “red” ones. OH MY FREAKING GOD. You go take your pickle jar, look at them and imagine them with a pinkish tint. yes, that’s what they looked like.
    But I will never top my sister in law who brought the pies to the family dinner. She is NOT a cook. We all know this. However, she was going to make coconut cream, chocolate and lemon pies. You know, just bake the pie shell, make the pudding, top it with cool whip. Yes, any fool can do this. Um, almost any fool. They prolly would’ve been great if she had baked the pie shells, or even if she had taken the little wax paper liner out of the unbaked pie shells before she filled them with pudding…..yup. She’s family.

  52. maria says:

    I’m going to use the red rice crispy thing next Halloween! What a great idea;) Thanks. (the other stories are funny too!)

  53. Marianne says:

    No matter what timers are set, or how many times we remind each other to check the oven, my mom and I will inevitably burn the homemade garlic bread and resort to scraping the black char into the trash can with a butter knife (29 years of this! Why haven’t we learned?).
    On my own, I recalled a home-ec class where we were told that mayonnaise could be substituted for eggs. So a few years later for a work bake-sale I attempted to make a brownie mix using mayo because I didn’t have any eggs at home, but didn’t bother to think about proportions. Rock hard brownies, anyone?
    I’m so glad to know that I’m not the only cooking or baking impaired person.

  54. kate says:

    Last year, a friend was having her soon to be in-laws over for dinner. She and her boyfriend bought a turkey. They wanted to make sure it would be defrosted in time so they left it in the sink for 3 or 4 days. It wasn’t frozen in the first place. Obviously they had to buy a new turkey.

  55. Cathy says:

    My family didn’t even hesitate when I asked them about what food disaster I should write: Broccoli-Caterpillar Casserole!!!
    Thanks for the subject, Chris.

  56. brookem says:

    i recently made some muffins using a wheat free flour substitute which would usually be fine, except this stuff had been sitting in the freezer for a while. at a certain point they just stopped rising and began to dessicate- it was a bit like eating a dry loofah sponge. the only reason we even attempted to consume them was in order to eat the frosting- the only thing i managed to get right.

  57. Belinda says:

    Nope, never. Not me. uhn-uh.

  58. Jan Parrish says:

    My worst cooking disaster happened when we had company, naturally. We were newly married and I was making chicken enchilada’s. (My mother is not fond of cooking so I learned as a result of situations like this.) The recipe called for one clove garlic. In my inexperience, I thought a clove was a brand name so I proceeded to put half a garlic in the recipe. A half seemed like enough so I stopped there. Let me just say, there was not a vampire within a 50 mile radius of our condo. Our guests were gracious and ate the meal anyway. Incidentally, my chicken enchilada’s are frequently requested by the kids, but I no longer use garlic.