Raising Procrastination to an Art Form

December 22, 2007

Phone rings.

Her: Cooking or cleaning? Which are you doing now?

Me: Neither. I am painting my mudroom.

Her: Yes, that was next on my list before Christmas… repaint my house.

Me: It’s all the rage. Serving food in your tidy house to your loved ones is so yesterday.

Her: So have you planned your menu?

Me: No.

Her: Finished wrapping?

Me: No.

Her: Cleaned?

Me: No.

Her: Hung up that damn wreath I brought over to you two weeks ago.

Me: That would be, no.

Her: Okay, then.

Me: And I am wearing my high heeled boots and cashmere sweater to paint in. So when they drag me to the asylum at least they can say, “Damn she dressed well.”

Her: And you are wearing nothing else?

Me: Of course I am wearing pants. I am not THAT crazy.

Posted by Chris @ 12:33 am  

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  1. Lena says:

    Ha! You totally nailed it there….and most of us don’t even have six/ or a million kids.

    You are doing good if you bother to dress.:)

    Merry Christmas!!!

  2. Karen Vogel says:

    Funny, I was just telling my husband we need to paint the living room before Tuesday…

  3. Jen says:

    You rock. Seriously. I’ve been on the couch half the day watching Spiderman 3. I need about 3 more weeks to do all the things that make Christmas at the House of All Trades.

  4. Jean says:

    Ah, but what a gorgeous mudroom it will be come Christmas morn!!!!

  5. Jaime says:

    Surely, you could just serve Christmas dinner in the mudroom or at the very least appetizers!

  6. The G-Ma says:

    (*Upside-down question mark):Que es el mud room? We in SoCal know not this peculiar term. Having little or no rain or snow, we have no mud. (*Ibid): Do you store up mud for future wrestling occasions? (*Op Cit) Face medication? (Ditto) Do you need an entire room for this accumulation?

    Chris says: It is a room filled with mud where we store our face medication and teeny tiny bikinis. You know for the wrestling. Occasionally it becomes known as the jello room.

  7. All Adither says:

    You will have to move the tree to the mudroom. Hang the wreath on the mudroom door. Serve cookies on the mudroom’s floor.

    Chris says: We are totally having cocktails in there. And cookies. Maybe even the entire meal.

  8. Joanne says:

    So glad to hear that I’m not the only one who does crazy stuff like this. Sounds completely normal to me. Good luck on the other stuff.

  9. Stephanie says:

    You have 7 children and own cashmere? And you paint mudrooms? I still contest you are not human, you are some kind of superhuman.

  10. Adwina says:


    Happy Holiday!

  11. salsaqueen says:

    Funny, as I’ve been chasing the dust and cat hair bunnies around my place for the last couple of days, I’m noticing how my walls could use some fresh paint. How do you feel about a trip to FL after the holidays?!

  12. Brigitte says:

    One year, my mom just put all the unwrapped presents in a sheet, dragged it to the living room, and handed them out. That was one way to avoid wrapping, I guess (bummer for us, though).

    Chris says: And then it could officially be known as the year mom lost her mind.

  13. dcrmom says:

    LOL! I totally do that. When I’m overwhelmed, I end up focusing on the less important tasks. I don’t know why. Please tell me you didn’t get any paint on that cashmere sweater, though. That would just be so sad. Merry Christmas!

    Chris says: Nope, not a drop of paint on it.

  14. Lizzi says:

    Sounds like we are all kindred spirits! I do that kind of thing ALL the time. I pulled out a box of wallpaper the other day that I had bought to redo the laundry room, and my husband just looked at me and said “no freakin’ way.” Because you KNOW everyone was going to be seeing my laundry room come Christmas Day.

  15. Heather's Garden says:

    I knew my husband was in la-la land yesterday when, 2 hours before our cocktail party guests were due to arrive, he started scrubbing the hinges of the bathroom door with bleach. Not a bite of food was prepared, but that door looked fantastic! As it always does, everything came together at the last moment, but I did have to yell at him to stop organizing the medicine chest — if someone wanted to be nosy and open it, they deserved to have something fall on their head!

    And all my gifts are unwrapped and sitting in a huge pile in the bedroom covered by dirty laundry. I’m off to a pedicure instead of getting that done, but I think my priorities are nicely in line!

  16. Cheryl says:

    Geez - I went and had surgery yesterday. Hubby and daughter will now be cooking the turnkey, as I am not supposed to lift anything heavy. I am also thinking that using a can opener for the cranberry sauce is strenuous, and peeling potatoes - out of the question! I will probably manage to open gifts just fine on Christmas morning, but will definitely be too tired to do anything else!! Darn this bad timing - hehe.

    Happy Holidays to everyone!!!

  17. Ruth H says:

    Hmmm… I would call that displacement activity but in this case it sounds like replacement activity.
    Good luck on the day.
    Merry Christmas to all. I grew up in a large family, 7 children, far more strung out than yours. We will have six of us together tonight for our family “do”. Our oldest brother lives too far away and is in ill health so he can’t be here. But we are going to have lots of food, fun and family. May your family always be as blessed as mine has been.

  18. Lorraine says:

    Hey… I painted too. had to get rid of the crappy orange that was suppoed to be rustic red on the doors in my room b4 my mom came back over… well, actually before my little sister came over. she’s an interior designer and tiny little details like that drive her nuts.

  19. terilynn says:

    I love this!!! You never fail to make me smile.

  20. Anne says:

    Merry Christmas!

  21. peepnroosmom says:

    Ha! At least you will be dressed well.!
    I spent the whole morning playing Little People on the floor of two yr. old’s room. No presents wrapped, no wreath, no cooking or baking. Just Little People.

  22. Sadie says:

    I’ve spent the last week painting an accent wall, and sanding / adding trim / getting ready to prime & paint my butt ugly mantle so it looks more presentable…. but my kids dig it. They say I’m making the fireplace pretty for Santa Clause.

  23. Barb Cooper says:

    I do this exact kind of procrastinating. I once started re-texturing my bathroom walls as my husband was on his way to the airport to pick up our houseguests.

    And every single item of clothing I have has paint on it. But I’m trying to turn this to my advantage–you know all those gray strands that are appearing on my head?


  24. Lori says:

    I have similar conversations all the time! And I haven’t done anything that I need to do either.

  25. Kate says:

    i”m procrastinating so badly I’m reading a damn blog…instead of ( fill in the blank)

  26. Nicki says:

    We just painted the walls and stained the floors in our garage. Thank goodness that’s over with. Good luck to you on getting your stuff together before the holiday!!

  27. Alyssa says:

    So I’m not the only one. Today husband and I finished painting the ceiling (that was installed last weekend) and will put a coat of paint on the dining room tonight). Oh and the in-laws arrive tomorrow and my dining room is still taking up residence in the living room.

  28. Sarah says:

    Pants are overrated.

  29. Heather's Garden says:

    Hey, did I offend you? I thought my comment was on topic. Why did you delete it? I’m feeling very insecure all of a sudden. I do so love reading your blog.

    Chris says: Uh, I didn’t delete it! At least not on purpose.

  30. Kate says:

    chris - maybe heather’s missing comment is somewhere having a drink with mine … :) mine only partially appeared, and the 2nd is MIA. ……
    (hey , its hard to type while nursing! )

    Chris says: I saw your second comment in the moderation folder, but it was completely blank. Who’s drinking now, huh? ;-)

  31. annie says:

    You are the best - all of you! Good to know there are so many kindred spirits out there. The only thing that stopped me from painting my kitchen cabinets this weekend was the fact that I have 16 of them. Which means 128 screws to remove in order to take the doors off the hinges… Merry Christmas to everyone!

  32. Pickel says:

    Yes…a week before Thanksgiving I decided to strip the wallpaper in the disco room (aka the dining room) and try to repaint it. Needless to say, the wallpaper was just a little tougher than I thought and everyone about killed me. We ate dinner staring at white primer.

  33. Meritt says:

    … yep. Week before Christmas and we decide we need to rip out the kids bedroom carpet and put in hardwood floors.

    We have our priorities in order.