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Conversation with a three year old

Conversation with a three year old

January 12, 2008

“When I grow up I am going to be a doctor.”

“You are? How nice.”

“Yes. And I will cut people.”

“Oh, you mean like a surgeon. They cut people open and operate on them to make them all well again.”

“No. Not like that.”

“Not like that?”

“I will have a chainsaw.”


“And chop their heads off. And chop up their bodies.” Here he stands up on his chair and imitates how a chainsaw works and sounds.

“Just what our family tree has been lacking, Miles, a serial killer.”

Posted by Chris @ 10:59 pm  

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  1. Darcie says:

    What has he been watching?

    Chris says: I keep a tight rein on the tv, so I really have no idea. Probably something one of his brothers said while playing pirates or something. Who knows.

  2. Karly says:

    And here I thought he seemed so sweet and innocent.

  3. Burgh Baby's Mom says:

    Who’s afraid of a little Miles? Me. Yup, afraid.

  4. mama's got moxie says:

    oh wow!! hahaha…

  5. Anna says:

    Ha! Cute! One serial killer out seven kids really isn’t bad, you know! Tell him he should be a nurse though…they make equally good money without all the debt…and chicks dig male nurses! ;-)

  6. InterstellarLass says:

    A yound Dr. Frankenstein perhaps?

  7. All Adither says:

    Aww, that’s normal for a three-year-old boy I would think. He’s working it out.

  8. Lazy Organizer says:

    Speaking of family trees, maybe you could steer him toward being a tree doctor where cutting off heads with a chainsaw would be entirely appropriate.

  9. Mandy says:

    He doensn’t have to watch it.. he’s a 3yr old little boy. lol I know b/c I have one too. ;)

    I read one of your posts below about your “allergy attacks.” I’m not sure if this fits for you or not.. but I thought I was having allergy attacks myself. My symptoms were: hives, (tons of itching head to toe!) difficulty breathing, severe chest pain, upper back pain, and sometimes shaking. (I think from the pain to be honest) It started when I was pg with my second child. I was able to make it stop usually with a Benedryll but it was misery for about 35 minutes until the meds kicked in. I really didn’t have them anymore after baby was born. Then, got pg with #3… they started again, only much more severe. Dr. said they’re not allergy attacks, they’re ANXIETY attacks. Brought on by lack of sleep, any unusual stress, tiredness, and even just the natural stress being pg puts on your body. I had some really scary ones that I really thought I’d have my son early (started contracting during the attacks). Dr. gave me an rx for phenegrin suppositories to knock me plum out if they happened again. It worked! lol Never have had another one to be honest. (baby’s now 7 months old) So.. if allergy attack doesn’t seem correct to you this might be another option to look into. Sorry so long.. hope it helps.

  10. Lilly says:

    Oh dear…. Hopefully he’ll choose to be a lumber jack instead.

  11. jenny says:

    Well–I’m in medical school, and based on my experiences thus far, I must say it would be a lot more interesting if chainsaws were involved.

  12. Alissa says:

    You sure he hasn’t been out to see Sweeney Todd yet?

  13. jenB says:

    Maybe he us just a visionary and that we will indeed be using nano-chainsaws in the future?

  14. riri says:

    well,my three years old sure has the same kind of imagination …..

    I’ve been enjoying your writings so much, Chris ……. I have 4 boys, 8, 6, 3, and 2 weeks old …. some of your stories really reminds me of my kids ….. so that I realized that we are ’still’ a normal family …. thanks a lot ……

  15. Jennifer says:

    I can so hear the influence of his older brothers in that. Especially the re-enactment of chain saw use. He’s such a big little boy now.

  16. Brigitte says:

    Ah, must be the influence of older brothers - my only-child 3-year-old daughter would never even conceive of this idea (yet).

  17. Melody says:

    I would say maybe a medical examiner? They get to crack open the chest and cut our the brain and everything. Personally, Yuck!


  18. J from Ireland says:


  19. Z says:

    Similar to jenny above, I’d agree that use of chainsaws in med school would make life that much more interesting… Of course, he could always be an orthopedic surgeon - I have a vague memory of a chainsaw-like instrument coming into play during one of my operations ;)

  20. Stephanie says:

    Can’t help but think that this will make a great story at his wedding reception! Kids are so darn cute!

  21. Jamie AZ says:

    My 4-year old talks of shooting everything, so I think it’s just in the boy gene!

  22. Becky says:

    And to think, my two year old cousin was running around armed with a plastic saw attacking everyone yesterday.

    Be sure to point out how often he’s going to need to wash up if he picks that career path.

  23. Mrs. Schmitty says:

    I’d lock your door at night…or at least sleep with one eye open! LOL!

  24. diana says:

    Love his imagination!!!!

  25. Marlee says:

    Well, this makes me feel a lot better about my nephew who, at the same age, said he wanted to tape knives onto the ceiling fan and turn it on so it would chop people up!

    I think he must’ve picked that one up from the playground…

  26. Kate says:

    The press will dub him the “cinnamon bun killer” .
    You must be so proud.:)

  27. Karate Mom says:

    I just love three-year-old boys! It’s amazing how that desire to cut things with chainsaws is just in their genes or something!

  28. peepnroosmom says:

    That’s what every family needs!

  29. Valeta says:

    My 4 year old says the same type of things. He wants to have a gun to kill bad guys.

    It has to be a boy thing.

  30. carrie says:

    Little boys are hilarious, aren’t they?

  31. Wendy says:

    I would keep one eye open at night. He might want to try out his new found interest right at home.

  32. Melissa says:

    My boys are the SAME way- chainsaws, guns, swords……they love it all. And, I too watch their TV consumption. I think it’s hardwired. Loved the post! And, I hope you feel better soon-

  33. tori says:

    What about a pathologist? I think they get to cut people up with saws and stuff.

  34. jen says:

    Maybe Miles and my son will go into practice together. He seems intent on doing the same thing! Everything is I’ll cut your head off or something very similar.
    Good luck with that! LOL

  35. Elizabeth says:

    Kate’s comment-”cinnamon bun killer”-bwahahahaha! And, I don’t know what it is about boys-before either of my sons had ever seen or even heard of a gun, they were making chains of Duplos and then pretending to shoot each other.

  36. Reno says:

    I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but LOL! And he is so darn cute, too.

  37. jamie says:

    Now that’s funny! And oddly comforting that my little guy isn’t the only child dreaming about a bright future!

  38. bombaygirl says:

    good lord! You never know what’s going on in their little heads, do you? pretty funny.

  39. Stephanie says:

    OMG…I laughed out loud. And the the Cinnamon bun killer? Too funny, ladies, too funny.

  40. Neil says:

    At least he has ambition at an early age!

  41. angie says:

    That’s too funny! My two and a half year old daughter is still playing dress-up. However, I guess I should be prepared for the violence when my four month old son gets older!

    I just remembered a game my daughter plays with the neighbor girl - something they call “Deer”. One of them is the deer and the other is the hunter trying to get the deer. Instead of shooting each other, they hug when the hunter catches the deer. I think the neighbor girl got the idea from watching Bambi. They look VERY girlie playing that game, and the boy neighbors don’t understand why they’re hugging instead of pretending to kill each other. haha.

  42. Heather says:

    Yikes! That is both funny and highly disturbing.

  43. Heather says:

    Dr. Jekyl?

  44. jennP says:

    i had just posted on that this week as well… my daughter, aged 5.5, want to do autopsies when she grows up!! (we only watch very child friendly tv… so who knows where that comes from)

  45. MyBestInvest says:

    At least he has a plan. I’m 31 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

  46. Girlymom4 says:

    Oh wow, that’s a scary conversation…interesting!

  47. Ani says:

    Sweeney Todd lives here too, except mine must be channeling Mrs. Todd since he keeps wanting to slice up people, salt and pepper them, and cook them on the stove.

    We should probably never introduce them to each other. :-)

  48. Mrs. Staff Sergeant says:

    Wow. Sounds like what goes on at my house. Our 2 boys are obsessed with “killing mean guys” and will only play with swords and shields while wailing on each other.

    I’m glad to know it’s not only us. I was beginning to question what I was doing wrong as a parent. ha!

    Boys will be boys :)

  49. julie@lovelaughter&laundry says:

    Well, that would make your family tree really interesting.

  50. genpoco says:

    LMAO! The Minion told me he really really really likes the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets I bought last week. I asked if it was because they tasted better than the others; he said “No. When I bite off the heads and legs, then dip them in ketchup it looks just like blood!” I often wonder what it would have been like if I’d had a daughter. Surely not as interesting.

  51. SparklieSunShine says:

    I’m sorry…I find this conversation hilarious!

  52. staciesmadness says:

    ok, I don’t feel so bad.

    My almost 4 yr old told me the other day that he was going to rip my skin off and throw my blood and bones in the garbage.

    OK, maybe I should be concerned. Where do they get this stuff?

  53. Heidi says:

    Gotta love boys. Completely different world. lol

  54. Holley says:

    I think it is just a guy thing, after all my husband starts the marshmallow roasting fire in the fire pit with a blowtorch.

  55. Sleeping Mommy says:

    sounds familiar. my three year old loves to run through the house repeating in a fiendish voice “CUT YOU!” or “KILL YOU!”

    I’m so glad I’m not alone.

  56. Manic Mommy says:

    I can see it now:

    “…and who’s that, Mommy?”

    “That’s Uncle Miles. We don’t speak of him.”

    Totally normal 3-year-old behavior.

  57. Tania says:

    Yes people he’s in training to become an Orthopedic Surgeon where use of a chainsaw to cut people up is completely acceptable :) that kid is priceless - loved the ‘Jesus’ and ‘your favorite’ comments too. He is hysterical.

  58. Chantelle says:

    That’s kind of scary, but funny, too.

  59. Angel says:

    My 4 year old son tells us occasionally, once we reprimand him on whatever ill behavior he is exhibiting…….

    “That’s fine then, I’ll just cut you in half!”

    I love kids!