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February 13, 2008

Digging Slush

This morning (last night?) it snowed. A very wet snow. But since it was warmish today the snow began melting. Mass flooding all over the place. Not that I really have to worry too much about flooding since I live on top of a mountain, or for those of you who live on or near actual snow capped mountains, a hill. We do have a sump pump in our basement, because like most other people who own old houses the basement is not water tight.

Imagine walking on top of what appears to be a foot of snow. Only it is eight inches of snow floating on top of four inches of water.

Shoveling it all out of the way was hard work. I hate hard work. My 13 yr old and 10 yr old did as much work as I did. Truth be told my 13 year old did most of it. He is much much stronger than I am and could fling the snow around like it was nothing.

Completely unrelated:

Miles just picked something up off the kitchen floor and held it up for me to see. It is small and brown.

“Look at this crap!”

“What is it, Miles?”

“I tell you, it is crap.”

“Oh, yuck.” I answer trying not to laugh.

“Yes, it is crap and it smells like crap.”

“What is it?”

“Crap. It is crap.” He answers exasperated with me.

“Is it poop?”

“No, not poop. I said crap.”

“Is it food?”

“No. You don’t EAT crap.” He is annoyed and gesticulates wildly with his hands, clearly thinking how could he possibly have been born with such a stupid mother.

“Of course not.”

“Here smell my hands. Smell the crap.”

“That’s ok. I don’t want to.”

“Yes, you do want to smell crap.”

“Where did the crap come from, do you think?”

“It came from shoes. From crappy shoes.”

I am dying laughing. So he starts yelling for his brothers.

“Guys! Guys! Get your butts over here. Clean up all this crap!”

Posted by Chris @ 8:43 pm  

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  1. arduous says:

    That’s hysterical. What *was* it actually?

  2. Keri says:

    Chris - I think you could write a book of Miles-isms - -HILARIOUS. I dont think I could’ve kept from bursting out laughing.

    Also, the front of your house is gorgeous. I dont think i’ve seen the front before in your other pics.

    We had all ice here last night/this am - but if we get snow, can I borrow your 13 year old? I hate cold weather, I hate snow & I hate shoveling!

  3. Melissa says:

    Funniest thing I’ve read all day! Thanks Chris :)

  4. Jodi says:

    OK, I rarely LOL at anything I read. Even if it is funny, I just smile. I’m a hard nut to crack, I tell ya. But that got a snort and a chuckle out of me. For the rest of the night I’m just going to randomly say, “I tell you, it is crap.”

  5. Maria says:

    I am in Western Mass right now (heading back south tomorrow) and can TOTALLY relate to that awful mess of which you speak. My pants were soaked from walking across the driveway tonight. And tomorrow, when all the flooding has frozen in the 18˚ temperatures that are forecast for tonight… well then the fun will really begin.

  6. Julie says:

    I don’t think I would do anything but laugh all day if I lived with you all! Your kids crack me up!

  7. Jane says:

    I just read this to my thirteen year old daughter. She loves Miles stories. Actually, everyone in our house belongs to the Miles fan club. She said, “That kid should have his own TV show. All Miles, All The Time.” I agree!

  8. Fancypants Jenn says:

    Oh sweet lord. I don’t think I have laughed that hard in a long time. After two kids my bladder control is not that great and you almost made me pee on the couch. “Yes, you do want to smell crap.” BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He is a keeper!

    About a year ago, when my daughter was 2 1/2, she walked into a public restroom (a very crowded one, I might add) and announced very loudly, “It smells like shit in here, but I can’t see the shit. Where is the shit? I bet I can find it.”

    I can’t take these kids anywhere.

  9. Haley says:

    What a fun age! I love how he demands that others do his work…be it pull his sled or clean up the crap. I want his life. :)

  10. Lisa says:

    Coming out of lurkdom to wonder where the pictures are of THAT exchange?
    Priceless. I can’t wait until mine starts talking…..

  11. Dianna says:

    That kid is hilarious! Thanks for posting that, I really needed something funny right now.

  12. Missy says:

    OMG I am laughing hysterically about the crap. He is a funny kid :)

  13. Sarah says:

    Oh my, The Crap story has me laughing out loud. After reading it twice, I’m still not sure exactly what the crap was, but I’m sure it wasn’t poop. Lord.

  14. Sarah says:

    Ok, my husband wanted to know why I was “chortling” over here in the next room. I had to read your story out to him and I couldn’t make it through. . . I am dying laughing. I may have pulled a muscle.

  15. Suzanne says:

    Holy crap (as opposed to regular crap)… that’s the most I’ve laughed all day… So, um, was it actually crap from crappy shoes?

  16. Alissa says:

    oh crap! i love miles.

  17. Rachel says:

    Oh man, you make me feel like a better parent! This sounds like conversations I’ve had with my almost three year old. Too funny. You can tell he has older brothers. Mine on the other hand…well his dad and I must take all the credit for his potty mouth.

  18. Heather's Garden says:

    It’s obvious who’s in charge in your house! Did they come clean it up?

  19. karen says:

    you are killing me !!!!

  20. Maine Mom says:

    I shoveled heavy snow today, so I know exactly what you are talking about there! Miles…you are too funny!

  21. Misty says:

    LOL My husband said that sounds like something that would be in a Dr Seuss book..

  22. Mary O says:

    Oh my gosh. I’m dying laughing too. That is hilarious.

  23. kris says:

    Oh how I don’t miss the north. Except for you, of course. xoxo, hon.

  24. Not June Cleaver says:

    It’s me again, your lurker.

    I’m laughing my head off at Miles’ comment. It’s a darned good thing kids are cute, huh? He is precious.

  25. Lilly says:

    Would you please record and post Miles’ voice saying something like this someday. I’d love to hear it! He’s a very funny three year old!

  26. nina says:

    oh my god, you gotta love that Miles - he is hilarious

  27. Velma says:

    Oh golly… or should I say, “Oh, crap?”


  28. suburbancorrespondent says:

    One wonders where he gets that from…hmmm?

    And nothing worse than shoveling wet, wet snow.

  29. Karly says:

    God, I hate when my shoes crap all over the floor. It is just such crap!

  30. Traci says:

    I’m not going to lie…I laughed and snorted really loud. Crap will be my word of the day tomorrow!

  31. Tammy says:

    What is it with “crap”? My 3 year old looked down at a messy diaper the other day and said, “Look at all that crap! That’s a lot of crap!” We’ve never used that word in relation to diapers. It was so hard to keep from cracking up. Kudos on your site.

  32. Victoria says:

    Crap, that was funny!

  33. Rae says:

    What was it?

    That’s a Loooooong driveway. I don’t blame you for hating that kind of hard work. Good thing for those 13 year olds paying off.

  34. Jennifer says:

    FUNNY!!!! He is hilarious.

    And as for the snow, ugh, I feel for you.

  35. Debbie says:

    Thanks. I needed that. Still laughing.

  36. Jules says:

    OMG that is hysterical!

  37. jessica says:

    God I miss that age! As for the snow I am still waiting for some down here so bring it on.

    When Bryant was 2, I was living in Italy and I had a few bad habits, one of which was saying the Gosh dammit (different word for gosh) and I finally stopped saying that when B would walk around the house purposly drop things, and say GD.. and pick it up LOLOL. It was even funnier cuz he would take things out of his little purse he had!

  38. {heather} says:

    Oh my gawd!!!! Still laughing here… I LOVE him!!!! Too freakin cute!!

  39. Girlymom4 says:

    Oh Crap, I think I just laughed to hard! :) Too Funny! I love the picture, I don’t think I have ever seen the outside of your house, it’s gorgeous! Don’t float away in all that flooding, we have more snow on the way- Ugh.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  40. Sarah says:

    oh, that made me laugh. outloud even.

  41. steph says:

    With a driveway that long you really need a snow blower! I swear I like winter more now that I don’t have to break my back shoveling. It takes me about 10 min to get all of the snow off my driveway and walkways and I’m done where before if it snowed I would have to shovel for hours in the mornings!

    Chris says: We do have a huge snowblower. BUT you can not use a snowblower on a foot of slush.

  42. Miriam says:

    Hahaha! There’s lots of “crap” in my house too, only sometimes it’s really CRAP! EWWWW! My two year old has taken to “investigating” the contents of his diaper, and producing a handful of …well, you know.
    Anyhow, my three year old often shows the same exasperation at being born into a family of such bumbling idiots;-) Too cute!

  43. Shannon says:

    “Crap” that was cute.
    Any snow we get around here is always slushy. My kids don’t know what REAL snow is like. Any way you cut it, it is a mess!

  44. kathleen says:

    Dang, you have a long, long, long driveway.

    Chris says: That is only half of it. It is a horseshoe shape.

  45. Kristin says:

    H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!! This is why I come to read your blog everyday. I am always hoping for a Miles story or is it the photo blog of your daughter’s shoe collection - no it’s Miles!

  46. Katie says:

    Miles is so going to be a comedian when he grows up. I’ll vote for him on Last Comic Standing session 23.

  47. Leah says:

    That is hilarious! Out of the mouth of babes!

  48. Mary W says:

    Oh Crap! That kid is too funny.

    The shoveling - - just another reason I don’t want to move north.

  49. peepnroosmom says:

    That was hilarious! Miles cracks me up. Thats the hardest I have laughed all day. He is such a smart little three year old.

  50. PopMom says:

    I just laughed out loud at that one. It’s so hard to keep a straight face when your kids repeat something they shouldn’t that you’ve obviously said at one point or another…my 3 1/2 year old has been known to spout out “Dammit” when frustrated.

  51. cristen says:

    I love hearing about and seeing your snow, since I live in Mississippi.

  52. Blaine @ 5McCKids says:

    I haven’t commented here in forever, but I am laughing so hard right now I just couldn’t help myself. I can hardly wait until my 2 1/2 year old makes it to 3. Priceless!!!

  53. Anna says:

    Why is Miles so freaking hilarious? I am still laughing about “It’s not Jesus, it’s me, your favorite Miles.”

  54. Wendy says:

    I don’t no anything about snow and water under snow, but that conversation was priceless.

  55. Poppy says:

    Can I just say I love Miles?? Cause the boy makes me smile so often!

    I’d love to see him and my 3 yr. old granddaughter Kylie together. She’s the one who let everyone at hubby’s Xmas party know that Santa scared the frickin’ crap out of her :)

  56. brenna says:

    I just about choked to death reading that. It’s really hard to laugh hysterically while trying not to wake up kids.

  57. gwendomama says:

    that’s very verbose.

    i just had this crap conversation with my 6 y o. but it was regarding eating candy for breakfast and my short-tempered answer…..i am such a good mom!

    Chris says: Yes, Miles will NOT stop talking. Ever. I think we had the same conversation here this morning too.

  58. fancypantsmcgee.com » Blog Archive » Something Blue says:

    [...] picture that I have of me in the coat is an unfortunate visual of me looking rather squaty and just crappy.  I can’t go around posting pictures of myself like that or you might think that I am [...]

  59. Rachel says:

    The dialog with Miles was the first blog post I’ve ever read (in 7+ years of blog reading!) that made me cry with laughter. Thanks for posting it.