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Every single day they tear the couch apart

Every single day they tear the couch apart

February 18, 2008

It's a fort, a castle, a cave...

It is a cave, a fortress, a castle, a hideout, a pirate ship. It is a world that I am not privy to.

They bounce and run all over it until I finally shout, “Let’s not break the couch today please!”

Then they replace all the well worn cushions where they belong. Facing the rips toward the back of the couch. They fluff up the pillows by jumping on them, leapfrog style. Finally they finish and the couch is once again a couch. A boring couch.

When we were looking for new couches for our family room I bought some that have non-removable cushions. One “magical” couch is enough.

Posted by Chris @ 3:09 pm  

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  1. jo(e) says:

    I spent hours playing on our couch when I was a kid. Sometimes it was a fort, sometimes a ship, sometimes a parade float.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I swear my next couch will have non removable cushions. My kids aren’t nice enough to put the cushions back and I hate not being able to plop down on a couch with cushions in a semi-normal spot when I’m exhausted.

  3. Ashley says:

    You are such a good mother. I admire you so!

  4. M.E. says:

    I thought I was the only one! No couch pataters, just couch, um, rearrangers.

    Oh, and I like the name of your blog…! :-)

  5. hokgardner says:

    We bought a new sofa that doesn’t have removable cushions, and I miss that the kids can’t build forts like that anymore. They, of course, have found a way around the problem by dragging pillows and blankets from every bed in the house into the living room. Imagination always seems to prevail.

  6. Julie says:

    One more reason I read your blog: I’m so glad this doesn’t just happen in my house!

  7. jm says:

    I have that same couch! (Pottery Barn, right?)

  8. Kristi says:

    Your “Let’s not break the couch today please” is a lot nicer than my “The couch is not a playground! Get off right now before I have a complete conniption and send you to your rooms for the rest of the day!”

  9. Carrie @ Three-Girl Circus says:

    Aaaaa, that drives me nuts. A room can be totally spotless, but add a dozen couch cushions thrown every which way….chaos. Messing with the couch cushions is one more thing that they can do at Nana’s house but not at home!

  10. Heth says:

    That is a priceless expression on her face.

    Magical couches are the best kind.

  11. Paige says:

    I think I have that same couch! I just recently moved it (and the matching loveseat) from the family room to the living room. Nobody jumps on it in the living room, since they only go in there to practice the piano (and NOBODY wants to be in there to do that) or read. And yes, it drives me crazy that a couch can’t be nice with it’s pillows intact for more than five minutes.

  12. ollka says:

    Even if the total destruction can be annoying, at least it makes for a lovely photo. I am, as always, amazed at your skill and love.

  13. Kristin says:

    I hear you. We have the same couch I think…ours is blue. I actually was going to post on something similar to this tomorrow! LOL! Our “fancy couches” (the kids call them that) have attached cushions as well. Love that picture!!

  14. Lisa Britzius says:

    Oh, I remember those days!! I didn’t think I’d ever have a couch I could actually sit on, or be able to walk across the floor without embedding a lego piece in my bare foot. I just recently started reading your blog. I read about it in Good Housekeeping and tore the page out so I would remember to visit your site and only recently found it again. I LOVE your blog…I mean the really sad, I-need-to-get-a-life-stalker kind of love! I’m currently reading your archives and having a blast. It will be a sad day when I’m done. All the best!

  15. Leeann says:

    ROFL! I did the exact same thing. We had one couch where the cushions were removed daily. DAILY, I tell you. Finally, I completely broke and my sole criteria for our new couch was NO removable ANYTHING. I got leather, so I could wipe it down, and I’ve never looked back!


  16. suburbancorrespondent says:

    We never dreamed when we finally invested in our first not-secondhand couch and armchairs that we were buying something that would amuse our kids non-stop. I don’t know why we even bother with buying them toys.

  17. Anna says:

    Awww…look at that sweet face…makes me want a girl.

  18. Hokie says:

    When I bought my first couch 15 years ago, my mom said, “Heed me well. Buy a couch with non-removable cushions. You’ll thank me.”

    I ignored her and bought not only a couch but a sectional–with all removable cushions.

    I wish I had listened. 20 cushions on the floor all the time.

    Second couch: Listened to mom. Cushions don’t move. Life is lovely.

  19. bombaygirl says:

    Yeah…I have the same problem. And then I have my husband re-arranging the pillows for better-tv-viewing pleasure. If its not the kids, its the hubby. What can you do?

  20. jen says:

    I thought I was the only one who yells at the kids to “just leave the poor old couch alone already!” :) Great post!

  21. Jennine says:

    I’m still looking for a velcro couch with little matching velcro suits.

    You’re a good momma to let them have their world. :)

  22. mary says:

    chris - unlurking today. i have been reading for over a year now. we have oh so many similarities - 3yr old dirty-blond dimpled boy born in 12/04, obsession with target, lack of cooking skills we trying to improve and an old house overrun by boys. and now - the couch - we have the same exact one in the same color! and it is used the same way. ours actually has gum on it and has been vomited on twice (thank god for removeable covers). and, i will never buy another with removable cushions. did you get the great deal of the century - couch, loveseat and chair - plus the free ottoman for $1600?

  23. Jen says:

    OHhhhhh. I could have written that post myself. I dream of attached cushions. And then I awake, and wade through a million trillion pillows and shout for someone to “COME PICK UP THESE PILLOWS!!!!!”

    So do your kids make the sliding, rolling ramp too? The one where they pile the cushions up to the back of the couch and then climb up and slide or roll all the way to the bottom?

  24. michele says:

    I really enjoy your blog! I used to just visit occasionally but find myself wandering here daily now. It is so fun and you always have a cool way of saying things! thanks for sharing.

  25. Ellen says:

    I just have to agree with a previous poster - I’d rather the cushions than the pillows and blankets from EVERY SINGLE BED in the house (that would be 4 beds, plus bonus blankets from the closet). Every single day. We also have a couch with non removable cushions and I miss my old one! My kids do the same thing. Great picture!

  26. jodi says:

    My 17 and 19 year old still talk about our magical couch.

  27. Ginny says:

    Her hair color is gorgeous (as is she) and you’ll be happy to know, I do not have that same couch (but wish I did!)

  28. Rachel says:

    My thoughts exactly. Mine particularly likes to pile the pillows up and leap into them like he’s flying. The pillows drive me nuts. I have also sworn never to own another couch without attached pillows! Currently there are two back pillows, two seat cushions and two throw pillows strewn about the room. Glancing over there, my blog name becomes more and more appropriate by the day!

  29. balconygal says:

    one of the most beautiful pics I have EVER! SEEN!

    Our Balcony Couch is magical, too, but the Balcony Kids can’t get it back together. Someday. They will learn to put the rips and tears to the back and I will learn to take a good picture of it.

  30. JaniceNW says:

    Couches make the very best forts in the world. That couch we had was given to us free so I never did worry. I now have leather couch and my teens aren’t into forts any longer. Your daughter is beautiful.

  31. Stephanie says:

    I can’t remember if I’ve commented before or not. The children stole my brain cells long ago. But I’m so very glad to know I’m not the only one whose couch never has cushions. And, from the comments, that I’m not the only one whose children drag all the blankets and pillows (and don’t forget 14,000 stuffed critters too) out to the living room. I should start taking photos too. But my couch isn’t as pretty.

  32. Jules says:

    This couch is like ours. Ughh. I will have more patience with my three little ones now. They are always tear it up! This makes me feel much better.

  33. Tracy D says:

    We had a magical couch when I was growing up. We played fort and jumped on it and built things and … oh what fun! And when we became teens it morphed into the magical sleeping couch. When you sat on it… you fell asleep. I think we wore it out!

  34. t in hd says:

    The $#@! couch is the bane of my existence. You actually have to *make* the damned thing anytime someone so much as sits on it because otherwise, it looks like a frickin’ unmade bed. It’s a stupid futon with cover and pillows, so the cover and pillows always look like a mess. It takes some skill to put it back together so that it looks half decent. What good is a couch I never want to anyone to sit on?! I wish we could get rid of it.

    I wish I could be kind enough to allow my kids to play on it, but if they do, they earn a “Couch Verbot”. I’m a nice mum in other ways. Really. But not with regards to that stupid couch.

  35. Camilla says:

    I love this post, it makes me want to jump into the magical couch toooo! Awesome photo, also. When i have my own house, one day, i’m going to have a magical couch and a Narnia wardrobe too. And hopefully some wallspaces, for extra adventures. :P

  36. fidget says:

    hahahahah I’m in the market for a couch with non removable cushions. I’m tired of how nasty they are from being all over the floor

  37. BridgetG says:

    OMG! I thought it was just MY kids! Apparently, it’s that couch. We have the same couch and have been yelling for them to put the pillows back and quit jumping for about 6yrs now. Obviously, to no avail.

    Love your blog, BTW. My kids regularly ask what the “trenchers” are up to. Thanks for brightening our days.

  38. Hsin says:

    Same in our house, except I’m yelling, “That couch is NOT A TRAMPOLINE!” Not that anyone cares. No one willingly puts cushions back. Not unless I’m standing there arms akimbo, giving the “evil eye”. And here I was thinking of getting a new couch, but guess it’ll have to wait till we’re done with childbearing and then some.

  39. Julia says:

    i remember as a kid playing with the couch cushions… my little brother (who is now bigger than me and in the military) would grab a cushion, i would lay on the couch (with some form of cushion under me of course) and he would run from behind the couch, jump over the back and land on me - - with the cushion between us so i was somewhat protected from the impact. OH THE FUN we had… We always had to put them back, and my parents to this day have those worn couches, where mom has sewed them back together a few times - but to me, the memories of playing with the couch are worth so much more than a piece of furniture. I don’t have kids yet, but look forward to the days when the couch can be a rocket ship, or a playground of some sort! how much fun!!!

  40. Jordana says:

    My kids do the same thing to our couch. On the whole line of non-removable cushions though — as a child we had a lovely leather chair with a non-removable seat cushion. It comes off now though. After years of sliding and perhaps a well chosen snip here or there with scissors when my mom wasn’t looking we took care of that.

  41. peepnroosmom says:

    That is so funny. I thought mine was the only house where the couch cushions get thrown all over the place every single day.

  42. Noble Pig says:

    My kids do the same thing. They pull the cushions out along with all the crud that has situated between the cushions and prop up the cushons…and TA-DAH a hot wheel race track.

  43. Jules says:

    The sign of a good mother - always thinking ;)

  44. salsaqueen says:

    Oh the horrors! My sisters and I would have been dead. Dead I tell ya. The couch was for sitting. With your feet on the floor, thankyouverymuch. Not propped up underneath you. Just like doors were not for slamming and houses were meant for walking through, not running and any other miriad of “rules.” And heaven forbid we should attempt to make a fort on, near, or around the couch. My mother is certainly one who should have never had children. And I never had any, so all of this sounds like so much fun! I may just have to go make me a fort out of my couch. Who needs kids anyway?!

  45. Heather says:

    “New couch.” Isn’t that an oxymoron? It’s like driving a new car off the lot. Once it hits the house, it loses all value.

  46. t in hd says:

    LOL salsaqueen, our mums must be related. My mother wouldn’t allow us to walk on the carpet after she’d vacuumed because it would mess up the “just vacuumed” pattern on the carpet pile. We had to walk around the edges of the room where the carpet ended if we needed something. Fun.

  47. hollygee says:

    Beautiful photo. Beautiful writing.

  48. kate says:

    The only problem with non-removable cushions is non-hideable stains and wear. Ask me how I know.