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Uncle, I Say

Uncle, I Say

June 30, 2008

the hardest part about being a parent

Ten hours in the ER. Morphine IV. Ultrasound. Abdominal CT scan. Consult with a surgeon.

Diagnosed with mesentaric adenitis. Basically it presents the same as an acute apendicitis attack, but there is nothing to do for except pain management and anti-nausea medication. Sent home with a prescription for Vicodin.

He managed to eat this afternoon and keep it down, for the first time in four days. I was hoping that we were turning a corner, but this evening found him screaming in pain again to the point where he was hyperventilating.

I have never experienced anything quite so heartbreaking as seeing my child in that amount of pain, and I hope to never again.

I laid down with him on the couch. My most difficult child who usually resists hugging, held on tight to me. Searching my face for comfort that I couldn’t give. I traced the scar on his forehead with my thumb and just wished I could take all the pain away.

Posted by Chris @ 10:35 pm  

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Comments

  1. Marci says:

    Chris, I am so sorry for the ordeal your son and you are going through. It is hard to understand that a child could be in so much pain. It is hearbreaking. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be better.

  2. Sherry says:

    Bless his heart. And bless your heart.

  3. Carmen says:

    I’m so sorry to read about this, Chris. I hope it passes soon for both of you - that must be heartbreaking.

    Try to get some rest. Or some vodka. Preferably both.

  4. Vegas Princess says:

    Chris, I hardly ever comment but read your every post. And I just had to delurk to say I hope your son gets well soon. I can not stand to see children in pain and that picture just took my breath away. I am sending warm healing throughts your way and wish for a speedy recovery.

  5. Melinda says:

    Ohhh, I’m so sorry. Feel better soon. Both of you.

  6. Jen says:

    Ack. That gives me goosebumps… My daughter spent 3 days in hospital with the very same thing this past February. She came oh so close to losing her appendix. It is heartbreaking to see a child (especially your own) in pain. I hope your guy feels better soon..

  7. Julia says:

    Oh dear, I am so sorry! There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer when all you can do is to hold him… I am really sorry! I hope he feels better and soon- do you know if this is a one time illness or does it occur repeatedly? How are your other kids?

  8. Liz says:

    Thinking of you all and hoping that it resolves soon and that he recovers quickly.

  9. CaliforniaGrammy says:

    Oh my God, I’ve never heard of such a monster. My prayers are for you and your son, that he will feel oh-so-much better real soon! Hang in there, Chris … “this too shall pass!”

  10. Karen says:

    I’m so sorry. Heal quickly little child.

  11. Debbie says:

    Aww, poor guy! I hate seeing my kids in pain, and he must be so scared of more pain. I hope for a quick recovery!

  12. Rocks In My Dryer says:

    Poor boy…and poor momma. I hope all is well soon.

  13. Julie says:

    Poor guy!! So sorry to hear he’s benched for a bit, I hope he’s on a the fast track to recovery soon.

  14. Jessie says:

    I’m so sorry. I hope his pain is gone soon.

  15. a different kate says:

    Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

  16. Not June Cleaver says:

    Hugs. I can’t really offer much more. It must be at least a little comforting to know that even people you don’t know care about you.

  17. BetteJo says:

    It’s horrible to experience not being able to make it all better, but I am sure holding him was actually incredibly helpful and comforting right then. Poor baby. Never heard of that but I hope it passes soon!

  18. Lori aka "it is just me" says:

    You are breaking my heart too! I’ve been having some emotional gutwrenchers with my teenage boys lately but I sure do remember the physical ones too! Hope he is feeling better soon.

  19. Heather's Garden says:

    I know exactly how you feel, it only gets worse as they get older. I remember watching a 16-year-old trying not to cry as the pain from a bad burn was so intense that he couldn’t stop shaking. Your heart breaks over any hurt large or small, but especially when there’s nothing you can do to make it better. I hope he feels better soon. Sending good vibes your way.

  20. Sue @ My Party of 6 says:

    Oh, I’m sorry. I hope he feels better soon. I can only imagine how it breaks your heart.

  21. suburbancorrespondent says:

    That poor baby! Hang in there…

  22. Stephanie says:

    I am so sorry he is suffering. May he recover quickly.

  23. Jaclyn (mrs_jb) says:

    Oh I’m so sorry Chris, I’m normally just a lurker, but I had to post to say I’ll be thinking of you both!

  24. Heather says:

    That is seriously the worst part about being a mom. We would gladly take the pain on ourselves and it just isn’t possible. It seems so unfair.

    I hope he is feeling better soon.

  25. Dani says:

    Oh my. That’s just horrible. Neither of you should have to go through this.

    All my parts are crossed hoping this passes quickly.

  26. Carolyn says:

    2 different kinds of suffering…the pain is the same. Healing prayers to you both.

  27. Jane says:

    adding my hugs and prayers that this passes quickly!
    I pray for a good night sleep for all of you.
    I am sorry that you are having to go through this.

  28. Angela says:

    How horrifying…hope he feels better soon.

  29. jcn says:

    awh - that is terrible…and vicodin doesn’t sit well with me…it put me in a very strange space the one time i was on it. that is just too bad. wishing you ALL well.

  30. Haley says:

    The look in his eyes describes so much. Prayers for a quick recovery and strength for both of you, so that soon, these dark days will seem like nothing more than a figment of your imagination.

  31. Brenna says:

    Poor guy. Wishing for a speedy recovery (for both of you).

  32. Tricia says:

    I found that when my most difficult child recently went through a lengthy and painful illness, and had to turn to me for comfort and help with pain management and overall loving, we formed a new bond. Ever since, there has been a different and better relationship.

    I hope you all get some sleep and comfort soon.

  33. Lady M says:

    I’m so sorry. Wishing him a rapid return to health.

  34. Rebecca says:

    oh Chris, I am so sorry for him and you and your whole family. It’s heartbreaking. I hope he is on the mend now.

  35. Bronnie says:

    Aaw poor thing!! I hope he’s feeling better soon!

    Love the effect you have on the photo.

  36. Collette says:

    Oh no, I’m so sorry. Poor baby! Both of you–I can’t imagine that there’s much worse for a mother than not being able to take the pain away. I’m sure that you did give him comfort though (despite how it might feel for you). Sending good thoughts and wishes your way.

  37. Victoria says:

    I’m so sorry.

  38. Lucinda says:

    Poor baby! It’s bad enough when you feel that kind of pain. But to watch it in your child. I’m so sorry for both and you and praying for a speedy recovery.

  39. Jennifer says:

    I’m sorry Chris. I hope he’s better soon, and you are too.

  40. Cindy Brady Tooh! :D says:

    Thorry!

    ~Thindy! :”(

  41. Karen (from Our Deer Baby) says:

    {{{ HUGS }}} to him and you

    sending many many healing vibes,

    Karen

  42. Kim N says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. You are right. There is nothing worse than watching your child in pain. I hope he recovers quickly.

  43. Kristin says:

    Aww jeeeez, Chris. My heart’s breaking for you guys, and you’re in my thoughts…

  44. julie says:

    Saying prayers for you both.

  45. Becki says:

    My daughter had shingles (yes, shingles) at the age of 2 1/2. The pain was so bad that she would cry while she was sleeping. Seeing your own child in pain has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when there is nothing you can do to make it go away.

    I hope your son feels better soon.

  46. Camilla says:

    Oh my goodness, the poor sweetheart is sounds absolutely horrific. For you too, there’s nothing harder than feeling helpless when someone is suffering… i know for a fact though (as a daughter) that your presence is the biggest help in the world. All my mum has to do is care when i’m sick, and i can *feel* it making things more bearable.
    I’ll be sending good thoughts, hoping he gets over it soon.

  47. Ardi says:

    I’m sorry to read about it, hope he gets well soon.

  48. maddy says:

    Hope he is feeling better now. That is tough.

  49. Julie says:

    I’m so sorry. I hope he feels better soon.

  50. Cara says:

    Oh, poor kiddo…

  51. Carolyn says:

    That’s so awful. Sending an internet hug.

  52. Shannon says:

    This brought me to tears. Hope it is over soon. My niece had something similar last year and spent the whole day in the ER, before they said they couldn’t do anything for her.

  53. Nancy says:

    Poor baby. It’s so hard to watch our children in pain. I enjoy reading your blog-you have a beautiful family. I feel like I know you all personally! I’ll be thinking of you in the next few days and hoping for fast healing for your little one.

  54. Barb says:

    I’m so sorry, Chris. I hope he’s feeling better soon. Hugs to you both.

  55. Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck says:

    I’m so sorry he’s in pain, and I know what you mean about watching your child in pain being the hardest thing to see. I hope he recovers soon and you are all back to normal. Sending hugs your way!

  56. Paulla says:

    This breaks my heart. Praying for you guys…

  57. jody says:

    Oh no!! Bless his little heart and yours.

    Give my favorite a kiss for me.

  58. Jess says:

    Oh Chris I am so sorry. That poor sweet boy. I hope that it passess soon.

  59. giftofgreen says:

    I’ve never heard of such a thing - terrible! Hope he will be up and running in no time.

  60. Stephanie says:

    this breaks my heart…

  61. KarateMom says:

    Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for you and your guy! I hope he’s feeling better soon!

  62. Kristine says:

    The feeling of helplessness when your child hurts and you can’t do anything about it is the worst kind of heartbreak to me.

  63. Maddy says:

    Oh dear, that’s no good. Hope he feels better very soon.

  64. SoMo says:

    So sorry. I really do hope he is much better really soon. I feel so bad for him.

  65. jean says:

    Chris, that’s heartbreaking. You and your poor boy…prayers that he heals quickly.

  66. kate says:

    I hope he is feeling better soon Chris. Poor little guy.

  67. Amy says:

    The picture is heartbreaking. Poor buddy.

  68. Kim says:

    Oh sweetie, I am so sorry! I hope he’s doing better soon!

  69. jodi says:

    I am so sorry. Hope that he will be better soon.

  70. suzanne says:

    {{prayers and hugs for you}}

  71. Jen says:

    I am so sorry for him and you! I had this twice way back when I was a kid, but they didn’t have a good diagnosis back then. It stunk, but I don’t really remember the pain. I do remember my mom being there for me, and that is what he will remember too. Hope he is feeling better soon!

  72. Leeann says:

    Chris,

    I am so sorry to read this. Actually, I read it and promptly got all teary for what HE is going through and for what YOU are going through, which is at least as bad.

    I hope he recovers from this soon.

    Leeann

  73. fidget says:

    i hope he heals quickly - there is nothing worse for a mom then to see her child in pain and not be able to make it better

  74. Angella says:

    Oh, that is horrible!! Hoping today is better.

  75. She Likes Purple says:

    I’ll be thinking of him. And you.

  76. Bryanne says:

    Quite possibly the saddest thing ever. Hugs from afar!

  77. crockpot lady says:

    oh no. I’m so very sorry. lots of hugs to your guy.

  78. Dawn says:

    I can’t imagine what you are going through watching your son in so much pain. I can’t imagine how he feels and how scared he must be. I hope he feels much better very quickly and you can embrace being normal even if it means a sucky diet and tons of doctor appointments. Your family is in my thoughts.

  79. Luann says:

    My tummy hurts just thinking about it. I’m so sorry.

  80. Jen says:

    Big hugs and healing thoughts for you both!

  81. Lisa says:

    Oh dear. I hope he is feeling better now and will say a prayer for a speedy recovery. There is little worse than watching your child suffer. Don’t forget to take care of yourself during this time. I am sure you are absolutely exhausted, too.

  82. josy says:

    last august my 2 week old almost died. he needed surgery and a stay in the nicu. he wailed the whole time. there is nothing, NOTHING i wouldn’t have done to take that pain away from him. there is no nightmare like having a child in pain.

  83. Missy says:

    Oh my god, Chris! Just wow.

    This really bites, doesn’t it? I’m so sorry he’s going thru this, and you too. That site says it doesn’t usually last longer than 2 weeks - I hope it’s much more short lived than that in his case.

    Thinking about you all…

  84. Erin says:

    Oh my goodness! My thoughts and prayers are with the two of you! Wishing the little one a speedy recovery!!

  85. JennyC.No3 says:

    That breaks my heart … God Bless you both and I hope he feels better soon!!

  86. Carola says:

    Oh Chris, I hope he gets well soon!

  87. DR says:

    Hoping both of you feel better soon.

  88. Maria says:

    Feel need to add my hugs and I’m sorry’s to the growing list. My kid’s had 3 open heart surgeries - those hours in recovery when he was quiet - or when the morphine actually made matters worse - were awful. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I suppose I don’t have to tell you to reach out to the internet and other hospitals for other options. There must be a knowledgeable community of parents w/kids w/this issue who can lend advice - in my son’s case - where one is treated for this condition makes all the difference in the world. Wishing your family quick resolution to this!!

  89. Mandy says:

    For some reason this was overwhelmingly emotional to me. I guess it’s the mommy thing. I am just sitting at my desk welling up like crazy. I so hope he is feeling better soon. I cannot imagine your heartache to see him hurting like that. I will pray.

  90. grace says:

    Poor little man! I am so sorry that he’s in so much pain. It sucks when our kids are hurt and we can’t do anything about it. But what’s great? Is that you’re able to cuddle with him and relish in that.

  91. Marie says:

    Praying for a quick recovery.

  92. Angie says:

    poor thing! I hope he feels better soon.

  93. Jane says:

    I’m so sorry. Every mother knows what a terrible, helpless feeling that is. I hope he feels better soon.

  94. Heidi Malott says:

    Hugs to you both and a quick recovery!!!

  95. Kris says:

    Nothing worse then seeing your child in pain. Hope he feels better soon.

  96. heels says:

    Oh, poor baby! That makes my heart hurt.

  97. Fiona says:

    Please let him know he is in our thoughts and prayers. (You too!!!)

  98. Kristie says:

    I’m so sorry, and understand the helplessness that you feel. Five years ago my youngest daughter was dx with cancer and to know there is nothing you can do at times to help them with the fear and pain they are experiencing is one of the worst feelings a parent can have. I have absolutely no doubt you are advocating for him and that he will be feeling better soon — and best of all, this will be nothing but a faded (crappy, albeit, but faded nonetheless!) memory. Best wishes to him, and to you, in the meantime.

  99. Clementine says:

    I’m so sorry that your son is in such pain. I hope that he will be feeling better soon–please know that I’m thinking of him and you.

  100. Another Susan says:

    Not sure why but that post brought tears to my eyes. Maybe b/c I have 2 boys - I’m partial to them. To be his age and in that much pain is just awful. I hope he’s doing better and back to his old don’t-hug-mom self soon ;)

  101. Dee says:

    Yup, been there - done that. Watched my daughter (when she was seven) roll on the floor screaming because she was hurting so bad. I wanted so badly to hold her, but she couldn’t stand to even be touched.

    Saying a prayer for both of you.

  102. Corina says:

    Hold on tight, that gives the most comfort. I hope the little man feels better soon……

  103. cristen says:

    I am so sorry. I hope he feels better soon!

  104. Gayle says:

    My heart hurts for your son and you right now. I am thinking good thoughts for a speedy recovery and that the vicodin can ease his pain. You’re a great mom Chris and I’m sure he is loving being stroked in your arms.

  105. J from Ireland says:

    Oh my god thats just awful, the poor little man and his poor mammy. Hope all is well very soon.

  106. Ivy Six-Pack says:

    I am so sorry your little one is suffering. It’s times like those that remind me that my challenging three year old is sweet and loving. A little glimpse of that side of him.

  107. usafinks says:

    sending out lottsa love and all my mothering strenght your way!

    get better soon, sweet boy!

  108. liv says:

    i’m so sorry; nothing breaks your heart harder when you’re a mom with a kiddo in pain. i hope he’s back to 100% soon.

  109. sharon says:

    I hope everything is ok. Hope he feels better soon.

  110. Lisa Lisa says:

    This breaks my heart to hear! I hope this is over soon. He must be a strong kid.

  111. Melissa says:

    Sending wishes for a speedy recovery!

  112. Norma says:

    I hope you both feel better soon.

  113. Alexis says:

    Prayers for him and your family! No matter how big they get, they always look so small and helpless when they get sick. I am sure he will be resisting hugs very soon!

  114. Beverly says:

    This picture breaks my heart.

    I hope he’s feeling a little better by now.

  115. Susan says:

    I’m so sorry. A friend directed me here, asking if this is what my daughter could have. We have been dealing with her severe nausea/pain since May 28. Last week we traveled 2 hrs to a GI specialist. This week we do an pelvic ultrasound. After that, an endoscopy under sedation. She’s 8. It is breaking my heart… in fact, I just held her and bawled last night. I feel your pain.

    (((HUGS)))

  116. Becky says:

    Oh, poor guy! I really feel for the both of you. When my 1 year old nephew was in the hospital with spinal menengitis it was heartbreaking on all of us.
    We’re thinking of both of you!
    ((hugs))
    Becky
    http://stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

  117. terilynn says:

    I so understand!!

    In January I had one 13 yo with pneumonia and a 15 yo with staph - very painful to drain and resulting in surgery. It is so hard to see your babies suffer.

  118. peepnroosmom says:

    Bless his little heart.

  119. Melody says:

    I’m so sorry he’s going through that!! :( That breaks my heart. I hope he gets better soon.

  120. Debbie says:

    I cried when I seen that sad little boy laying in his bed. I am going to start praying for him right away! You have been through so many health worries. Really hope he gets better quick! Hug and hold him!

  121. MamaGeph says:

    Oh! Poor kiddo, and poor mama! What a terrible, helpless feeling. I’ll be praying for you both.

  122. Sarah says:

    I understand. For 11.5 months, my infant daughter screamed hysterically for hours. HOURS. Despite repeated ped visits, er visits, specialists, and even an admission…. nothing helped. They kept telling me it was nothing wrong.

    Then she went into heart failure and it turns out… that screaming was because of HEART ATTACKS from an undiagnosed heart defect. I cried for hours because for months, my baby was hurting and hurting and I couldn’t help.

    I hope he’s better very soon!

  123. Hadley says:

    Hope he feels better. I went to the ER about a month ago with what I (and my doctor) thought was appendicitis. Mine turned out to be “nothing” (which meant that they sent me home without pain meds and doubled over), so I am glad they found “something” with your son even if it only can be pain managed and not fixed immediately.

  124. jenB says:

    That is horrible! Poor little thing. Poor Mama too. Hugs from here.

  125. Lin says:

    Ouch! Hope he feels better soon. The mother too. It’s hard n a mothers heart to helplessly watch her child in that amount of pain.

  126. Woman with Kids says:

    I’m so sorry. I hope he, and you, feel better soon.

  127. jen says:

    Oh no! I am so sorry - for both of you!

  128. Cmommy says:

    Hugs from my corner of the world!

  129. Monique says:

    I had tears reading it:(Poor mommy and he:(

    Feel better soon everyone~

  130. Cary says:

    He IS going to feel better very soon!!!! With it he will have a good battle story to tell in the future, and a burned in memory of your comforting love.

  131. Finn Reeds says:

    My heart goes out to both of you. Get well soon, Most Difficult Child.
    xo

  132. Fluffy says:

    My 4 yo daughter just had her appendix out after it ruptured. She/we had to spend 2 wks in Sick Kids’ Hospital with many complications. She, too, had immense pain both before her operation and after. The helpless, heartbreaking feeling does fade when they are back to normal and it’s a bright, sunny day… but I know you are not on that side of things yet. You’ll get there. Stay strong - that’s the best way you can help him get through this.

  133. Kate says:

    hoping he feels better soon.

  134. Christine says:

    Don’t you hate that little stomach-wrenching flip you feel when your child is hurting? And the way time seems to stand still when in a hospital? Feel better! Both of you!

  135. JEN says:

    I have never heard of this…. wow. Poor little guy.
    Here’s to feeling better soon buddy!

  136. Fairly Odd Mother says:

    Poor little guy! (and poor mama!) That is heartbreaking. I hope he gets relief soon.

  137. Tania says:

    Poor sweetheart. I hope he recovers quickly.

  138. smarty says:

    This too will pass. Much understanding. Life is hard. We perservere. Pain sucks. God bless moms

  139. Tracey says:

    Poor little man, I am soooo sorry to hear this, I wish the meds were helping more. I hope he feels much, much better now :( Thinking of him and the whole family. (((hugs)))

  140. Lisa- Domestic Accident says:

    Chris, I’m so sorry. That must be awful beyond imagining. I’m saying a prayer. You guys have had a tough few weeks.

  141. Asianmommy says:

    Poor baby! Hope he feels better soon!

  142. Elizabeth says:

    So much love from every mother…I hope he is well again soon

  143. Steph says:

    Oh my heart breaks for you! I hope he is feeling better soon.

  144. Ani says:

    Prayers and magic get-well pixie dust being sent your way. Hope you both feel better soon.

  145. GraceD says:

    Oh, my sweet Chris and her sweet child. I know what this is like - Molly was severely felled by mono when she was 14. I slept on the floor next to her bed for the week when she was delirious with utter pain. Looking back, I thought nothing of sleeping on her bedroom floor, despite my vow to never do this, after many years of “crashing” on friends’ floors around the world.

    I send my deepest, most heartfelt wishes for your dollin’s recovery back to robust health. And, to you? I send the same heartfelt wishes, but for many shot rounds of high quality, boutique tequila. Only the best for you, mah sweet.

  146. GraceD says:

    And, one more thing - vicodin may cause savage constipation. Try to get the kiddo to drink prune juice or whatever keeps the bowels moving, if they’re moving at all.

  147. chanelireli says:

    Poor baby! I hope he feels better soon.

  148. Sheryl says:

    Oh my gosh Chris, that’s awful! I hope he’s better soon, and that the pain meds help.

  149. Joy H says:

    I hope he feels better soon. Never heard of this dx before. Had he been sick/strep recently? Just curious.

  150. Annalise says:

    Very scary. I’m glad they figured out what it was before he ended up with an unnecessary appendectomy! Poor boy, hope he feels better very very soon.

  151. Lilly says:

    This must be so hard for your poor son and for all of you but especially you. Not being able to get rid of your child’s pain is an intensely upsetting feeling. I am so sorry and I hope by the time you read this that he is better and things have returned to their happy normal!

  152. carrien (she laughs at the days) says:

    MY heart feels all squeezed and weepy imagining that. I’m sorry.

    At least you are getting hugs…

  153. Kellie says:

    I very, very rarely comment here, but I had to on this one. Seeing his litte face in that big hospital bed made my heart ache. Reading this post brought tears to my eyes. I hope he’s better soon. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this–there’s nothing worse than seeing your child in pain and not being able to fix it.

  154. kat says:

    i hope your dinky boy is well soon.

  155. mandi says:

    I hope he is feeling better! How heartbreaking.

  156. KK says:

    this is so very scary — breaks my heart this little precious prince has to endure this

    you and yours are in my prayers

    Godspeed and get well soon

    KK

  157. Alison says:

    My daughter had this just before Easter. Complicated by an anaphylactic reaction to the morphine or Buscopan - we don’t know which.

    I don’t want to worry you, but be warned that this does not go away quickly. She continued to have tummy aches (not as horrendous as the first ones), headaches, nausea and tiredness for a couple of months.

  158. Aimee Greeblemonkey says:

    Breaking my heart! Best wishes to you all.

  159. Shash says:

    Chris, I hope he’s feeling better soon. How horrible for all of you! My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

    Shash