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2008 July

Ready For Frat Days

July 30, 2008


We were out tonight at practice until 8:30. Sports make for really late nights. Most of the kids didn’t even eat dinner until about 9:00. It is 10:45 as I sit here typing this and I have only just finished cleaning up after dinner and shooing people off to bed.

When we arrived home, Miles was feeling sick, he seems to have caught the plague now, and went into the bathroom insisting he was going to “frow up.”

Time passed and I noticed he had not comeout of the bathroom. I called for him. No answer.

I went in to discover he had fallen asleep with his head resting on the toilet seat.

It made me laugh, but also broke my heart a tiny bit. Not enough to stop me from calling everyone into the bathroom or to stop me from grabbing my camera, however.

Posted by Chris @ 11:03 pm | 56 Comments  

Party Like It’s October 31st

The Orange Room

The thing about having a room that looks like this in your house is that you are always ready for an impromptu Halloween party. Not that we ever do have one. But the possibility was always there.

By next week, or so (we are operating on contractor time) it will be a normal, non-holiday themed room. And we will have to get our decorations at Party City like everyone else.

Posted by Chris @ 10:09 am | 39 Comments  

The Longest Day

July 29, 2008

This morning I woke up at 4am and could not fall back asleep. So I decided to just get up and start my day. I have been trying to catch up on writing obligations since BlogHer and have not been able to for a variety of reasons, most of them having to do with the plague I came home with and the needy children I gave birth to.

By 6 am I had done a ton of work and had two cups of coffee. I emailed Susan to tell her I was pretending to be her today. For those of you who don’t know, she gets up this early every day. She also goes to sleep at night around the time I am feeding my family.

By 8am, I had downloaded forms to obtain copies of all my children’s birth certificates. Seems you need those for everything nowadays, unlike the olden days when I was a child.

By 10am I emailed Susan back to say I don’t know how people can be Susan Wagner. It is too tiring.

It is now 12:50 and I feel like it should be dinner time. I have no idea what I am going to cook tonight, but if I keep having a Susan Wagner day I will be in bed asleep and they can all fend for themselves.

I have a new post over at Work It, Mom! with five tips for making summer meal planning easy. It could probably also be titled, How to make dinner without really trying. Which really just about sums up everything in my life.

Posted by Chris @ 1:07 pm | 16 Comments  


July 28, 2008

Today I brought my son to the orthopedist. It seems that he broke his finger playing football last week. That would be the very first week of the football season. I didn’t realize that his finger was that injured. I mean he said it hurt, but then the very next day pitched a baseball game and hit a 400ft homerun. Clearly my definition of I am broken and in pain is not the same as his.

Then he went to football and baseball practices for the rest of the week. For football we taped up his finger to the one next to it. My husband, who was a football player back in his day, said that often he would “jam” his fingers and after taping them up for a day or two they felt better.

Yesterday I noticed his finger was bent at an odd angle. When I asked why his finger looked like that he casually mentioned that was how his finger has been all week.

He is in a cast that will have to be removed weekly. And he needs to have his finger x-rayed every week to make sure that it is healing properly. Otherwise, surgery.

Also, there is nothing sadder than seeing the crushing disappointment on your son’s face when he realizes that he will not be playing sports for the next 6-8 weeks, effectively ending the baseball season. Not sure about the football season. Seeing the tears well up on the bottom lid of your man-child, while he tries unsuccessfully to blink them back is heartbreaking.

When he asked the doctor about playing sports she patronizingly said maybe it was time to pursue other interests, like reading and mathematics. OH YES SHE DID!

He told me not to tell his baseball coach. Because I guess showing up wearing a cast wouldn’t tip him off that something was BROKEN on you.


I started writing this earlier in the day and never managed to hit publish. In the end my son did go to football practice tonight, with his cast, which I wrapped in gauze and tape so that it didn’t get filthy. Hey, no one had better accuse me of not being an attentive parent. Oddly, or not, none of the coaches questioned him about it. They are still in “training week” and mostly doing running drills which don’t require using your hands, just a whole helluva lot of running. I was exhausted just watching it.

Once again was reminded of why I am not athlete. The effort! The sweating! The hair glued to your forehead! Not to mention the possibility of grave bodily harm.

Posted by Chris @ 10:48 pm | 40 Comments  

Not Just For the Fourth of July

July 27, 2008


Because when you are famous you get fireworks whenever you want.


Back story:

I got an email the other day, along with a gazillion other people, which asked : How can you continue to write about your life as if it is a normal-every-day-writing-just-for-myself life when you are receiving, in some cases, enough monetary payments to live off of your blog?

I responded, nicely I thought, that I know almost no people who are able to live solely off of their ad revenue. But apparently she said she can no longer relate to me, because of the things I blog about.

Considering that the bulk of my posts over the past few months have been about baseball or driving to baseball, I am thinking perhaps she has some misinformation.

I want to make it clear, baseball is an equal opportunity sport. You do not have to be rich and famous to play Little League. The same goes for driving a mini-van.

I hope that clears up any confusion.


Yesterday a town near us was having fireworks. I was not in the mood to go. First of all because fireworks are late at night, at the time when the little kids are usually in bed and I am “off-duty” Second, because I was still recovering from some sort of plague that I brought home from Blogher. Third, because my husband has all these really great ideas and then usually I have to be the one who does the follow through, and see numbers one and two above.

I grudgingly decided to go. With a capital G.

We had to park about a mile away. Then we waited in line for 35 minutes to buy the kids ice cream cones that cost an arm and a leg. We found a grassy hill to sit on and I pulled the blankets and bug spray out of my bag of tricks, as my husband calls it. Then we listened to “When are the fireworks going to start?” for the next hour.


The fireworks started and we lay back on our blankets, limbs all tangled together, and the kids cheered and clapped. The hassle of getting there seemed unimportant. It wasn’t too late at night. I wasn’t too sick. Tossing the blankets and bug spray into my bag really was not that big of deal.

Too quickly the fireworks ended and we began the trek back to the car. Miles was waving the glowstick he found on road in front of his face. He suddenly broke out into song.

“It’s the best day, eeeevvvvvveerrrrrrr”


Leave it to SpongeBob Square Pants to sum up the evening.

Posted by Chris @ 8:54 pm | 61 Comments  


July 24, 2008

I don’t think that I am going to write a BlogHer round up sort of post. There is no way to do it justice. I hardly took any photos because other people always had their cameras out. I figured I could just steal their photos.

I could write about how I lost my badge after walking 20 feet from the table where I had just gotten it. And how I had to walk back there shame faced because, “Yes, I did just walk right over there. And yet, it is gone.”

Or about walking into the men’s bathroom with some friends, assuming that they had been mostly turned into women’s bathrooms, only to find a man in there. A man who said, “Hey, it must be my lucky day.” And all the completely inappropriate comments that came out of that one. “Well, I was just going to go to the bathroom, but since you have it out how about me and five of my friends re-enact your letter to Penthouse. Really, it IS your lucky day.”

I could write about how Susan and I had hundreds of dollars of mini bar charges on our hotel bill because we moved the items around inside the fridge to fit in my “special” food, which may or may not have included three bottles of white wine. I guess there are some sort of sensors in the fridge that automatically charge your room. Whoops. Luckily the hotel took all the charges off.

I could write about how cold it was. I am sorry residents of San Francisco that I ever doubted you. I thought you were all a bunch of whiners who didn’t know what cold actually was. I bought tights, a pair of jeans and a trench coat last week while my sleevless shirts and summer skirts mocked me from inside my much too small suitcase.

Here is a photo of me wearing TIGHTS in JULY lest you think I am joking. Because I am not joking. Those are the lovely ladies I was on the panel with.

This blog is more than me, it is about everyone who shows up here day after day. All of you who read and comment and email, I thank you.

Those of you who came up to me and told me that you enjoyed reading what I write here? That never ceases to amaze me. And those of you who have told me that you have read every single post… more than once… well, wow. I don’t know that *I* have read every single post I have written.

I hope that I was gracious to all of you who approached me.

Because I have seen what not gracious looks like, and I would never want to be that. A person who spent the entire time looking over the heads of the people she was talking to, looking for someone better or more popular to talk with.

Saturday night while packed into macy’s this person started walking over to me and a friend I was standing with.

I elbowed her. “Watch what she does. Ok, just watch.”

“You are crazy. I don’t believe it.”

Over walks the person who talks to my friend, not me. Does not even make eye contact with me or acknowledge my presence at all. Even when I say, “My invisibility cloak is working!”

She continued on after less than a minute, her next networking opportunity already scoped out. My friend turned to me and said, “Wow. That was so weird.”

“Dude, I KNOW! Who knew my invisibility cloak worked so well!”

“You should start selling those. You will make a killing on them.”

And then we laughed until we spilled our drinks. Oooops, sorry Macy’s. At least my glass didn’t shatter on the floor.

Posted by Chris @ 10:48 am | 67 Comments  

Smart isn’t one of them either

July 21, 2008

Last night the kids went out to dinner at the China Buffet. At the restaurant there was a chart describing the Chinese zodiac, complete with descriptions of what it meant to be born under each sign.

My nine year old son is explaining it all to me.

“It was weird, Mom. My sign described me perfectly.”

“Really? What did it say?”

“It said people who are born under that sign are athletic, nice, and, um, I can’t really remember all of the words. But basically perfect… like me.”

“What about a crushing lack of self esteem? Was that one of them?”

“I don’t think so. And blonde. I am pretty sure it said blonde too.”

I am sure that would come as a surprise to a few billion Chinese.

Posted by Chris @ 11:14 pm | 21 Comments  


July 20, 2008

I feel like I have been gone for a long time. I talk to the little ones on the phone and their voices sound far away. It is too quiet.

It is amazing how the phone changes their voices, making them sound like babies again. Or maybe it is me, not being able to see their faces. My husband relates the cute things that they are doing. He tells me the stories. I wistfully tell him that I wish I were home to have seen that or heard that. I wish that I were a part of that story.

He says, Now you now how I feel when I am at work all day and I call home.

Six days is a long time to be away, but the perfect amount of time to give me some perspective. I had a great time. But today I was ready to come home.

I finally arrive home and the house is empty. Rob has taken the kids to the China Buffet for dinner. It gives me time to unpack all the free stuff gifts.

They are home shortly after that. I hear them in the driveway before they even get to the door. Mom! Mom! they scream. They tumble in the door, tripping over each other. Hug after hug after hug.

They start telling me stories. Giving me the recap of all I have missed. They talk louder and louder. Now it is their words tripping over each other. Even the big kids stay close to me.

They are laughing. Jumping around. Vying for my attention. I have forgotten how funny they are. We pile onto my bed, no one ready to go to bed just yet. My oldest son tossing his football up in the air and catching it. My youngest son bouncing on top of me.

It is no longer quiet. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I am happy to be home.

Posted by Chris @ 11:29 pm | 42 Comments  

A Joint Post with Susan

July 18, 2008

Things a $400 a night hotel room should have, but does not:

1) A fan in the bathroom
2) A proper bathroom door
3) Internet service that does not require you to talk to a tech in India. Twice.
4) FREE internet service. If the $89 a night room at JFK airport can give me free wireless internet with no hassle, then why can’t you.
5) A man to stand by next to the mini-bar and open the wine for me. And then give me a massage.

Things a $400 a night hotel does have:

1) Ability to call room service and request a butter knife be sent up
2) Ability to have toast at any hour of the day or night, for $10. Probably a slice.
3) A mini fridge, though moving the $10 Snicker bars so that your bottles of wine and container of hummus fit inside will result in a $25 charge.
4) A bar that serves wine by the glass. For $15. No not per bottle as one might assume. Per glass.

Posted by Chris @ 10:33 pm | 21 Comments  

Carousel at Fisherman’s Wharf


Posted by Chris @ 9:22 pm | Comments are closed.