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A Joint Post with Susan

A Joint Post with Susan

July 18, 2008

Things a $400 a night hotel room should have, but does not:

1) A fan in the bathroom
2) A proper bathroom door
3) Internet service that does not require you to talk to a tech in India. Twice.
4) FREE internet service. If the $89 a night room at JFK airport can give me free wireless internet with no hassle, then why can’t you.
5) A man to stand by next to the mini-bar and open the wine for me. And then give me a massage.

Things a $400 a night hotel does have:

1) Ability to call room service and request a butter knife be sent up
2) Ability to have toast at any hour of the day or night, for $10. Probably a slice.
3) A mini fridge, though moving the $10 Snicker bars so that your bottles of wine and container of hummus fit inside will result in a $25 charge.
4) A bar that serves wine by the glass. For $15. No not per bottle as one might assume. Per glass.

Posted by Chris @ 10:33 pm  

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  1. Cindy (Kini) says:

    Ack. My hubby was recently at a hotel as such last month. Internet was free in the lobby, OR $15/day/computer in the room! Geesh.

  2. Denise says:

    My bathroom has a proper door. And thankfully I have not had to talk to a tech in India - yet.

    Otherwise, yes. Agree.

  3. suburbancorrespondent says:

    Are you just trying to make us non-attendees feel better?

  4. Eden says:

    if you are staying at the Westin (my very very very favorite hotel in SF, go out the front door and look to your left..you will see Victoria Secret and some other stores…keep walking and you will see a green sign and probably a line outside…they have the BEST breakfast in the WORLD…also there is an irish whisky place by the pier that supposedly brought irish whisky to the US…Why cant I think of either of the names..i just tried to call my sister to find out, but she isnt answering her phone (dang her for going to Hawaii tomorrow)…wish I could go and meet people..have fun!!!

  5. Catherine says:

    Things the $80/night hostel has:
    1) the most amazing, comfy bed - I assume it’s new
    2) free, reliable WiFi
    3) people from every country
    4) a window that looks at somebody else’s window
    5) a sink in the bedroom

    Things the $80/night hostel does not have:
    1) bathrooms in every room
    2) room service, although there’s a kitchen

    So, it’s a trade off. But I spend more time with my WiFi then I do in the bathroom.

  6. Amanda says:

    Maybe that $400 a night hotel needs to go to the $89 a night one and see how things are done a little bit. I would expect the room service and the mini bar wanting your first born at the more expensive hotel. They’re all like that. But the internet thing? That’s a tad ridiculous, especially for the type of conference you’re attending - hello, conference full of internet people. Of course then again, maybe that’s why they’re charging.

  7. Anne says:

    I totally agree with you. The expensive hotels sometimes seem like a worse deal than the cheaper ones…but hopefully the bath towels are better….

  8. Heather's Garden says:

    Ah, but at the expensive hotel you can complain and get a discount. $89/night doesn’t allow much wiggle room for that.

  9. no blog says:

    Hey, I’m staying at the same place in late August and it’s merely a $300/night hotel!

  10. Carolyn says:

    The Irish Whiskey place is called Buena Vista. Best Irish Coffee EVAH! A little known fact…that is where the original “Yours Mine and Ours” was filmed…where Lucille Ball lost her slip and Henry Fonda had to crawl along the floor looking for it.

    Why exactly do I know these things?

  11. Dani says:

    My $189/night Hampton Inn (Kingston, RI - just built 3 months ago) last weekend:

    Free WiFi (no tech support needed)
    Flat screen TV with great channels
    Free hot breakfast (but it sucked)
    A concierge that would give you the key to ANYONE’S ROOM as long as you said you knew them (Scary, huh???)

    Did NOT have:
    The ability to understand “Family of 5″. I had to ask for extra EVERYTHING. Every. Day.
    Mini-fridge (WTF?)
    A shower head that didn’t fall apart in my hand.
    A toilet that would flush properly. (My husband actually fixed it. I should send them a bill.)
    A bathroom floor that didn’t feel like someone washed it with lollipops. (Sticky doesn’t even explain it. Ew.)
    Enough outlets to charge: one laptop, two digital cameras, one camcorder, 3 Nintendo DSs, & 3 cell phones

    What? Are 10 extra outlets too much to ask?? ;)

    I’ll bet you’re having tons of fun despite the inconveniences. Can’t wait to get the full story. With pictures!

  12. Suzanne says:

    I hope you are planning to take off all of the lamp shades and remove all of the bedding and all of those super-immature things to trash the room before check out. The answer to most problems is to act like an obnoxious teenager. That’ll show ‘em.

  13. Maddy says:


  14. Tranny Head says:

    Sadly, I’ve been to hotels like that before. Usually in NYC.

  15. chanelireli says:

    I hate when hotels don’t have free internet. Seriously, how much more would it cost to give us free internet? Seriously.

  16. EG says:

    It still baffles me that some hotels and coffee shops are charging for internet. Hope you’re enjoying San Francisco, though! We were just there last night, but our $400/ night hotel was free ’cause I had lots of Marriott points (95,000 to be exact).

  17. EG says:

    Last MONTH. We were just there last MONTH.

  18. Mary W says:

    I LOVE san Francisco - it’s one pf my favorite places ever but yeah hotel prices make me want to vomit. When we were there last year - room service oatmeal was $15 a bowl. Two beers were $14, We got a chuckle aout beer being a cheaper breakfast than oatmeal

  19. Missy says:

    WORD on the internet tech guy thing. And we had to get someone to open our fridge so we could illicitly use it to store our alcohol. But they were pretty awesome about everything else.

  20. Tiffany says:

    What about an iron?

  21. Dr. Pat says:

    Tell Eden that the name of the breakfast place is “Sear’s Fine Food” and it’s on Powell St. Love their silver dollar pancakes! They even have an e-store: http://www.searsfinefood.com/store.html