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July 24, 2008

I don’t think that I am going to write a BlogHer round up sort of post. There is no way to do it justice. I hardly took any photos because other people always had their cameras out. I figured I could just steal their photos.

I could write about how I lost my badge after walking 20 feet from the table where I had just gotten it. And how I had to walk back there shame faced because, “Yes, I did just walk right over there. And yet, it is gone.”

Or about walking into the men’s bathroom with some friends, assuming that they had been mostly turned into women’s bathrooms, only to find a man in there. A man who said, “Hey, it must be my lucky day.” And all the completely inappropriate comments that came out of that one. “Well, I was just going to go to the bathroom, but since you have it out how about me and five of my friends re-enact your letter to Penthouse. Really, it IS your lucky day.”

I could write about how Susan and I had hundreds of dollars of mini bar charges on our hotel bill because we moved the items around inside the fridge to fit in my “special” food, which may or may not have included three bottles of white wine. I guess there are some sort of sensors in the fridge that automatically charge your room. Whoops. Luckily the hotel took all the charges off.

I could write about how cold it was. I am sorry residents of San Francisco that I ever doubted you. I thought you were all a bunch of whiners who didn’t know what cold actually was. I bought tights, a pair of jeans and a trench coat last week while my sleevless shirts and summer skirts mocked me from inside my much too small suitcase.

Here is a photo of me wearing TIGHTS in JULY lest you think I am joking. Because I am not joking. Those are the lovely ladies I was on the panel with.

This blog is more than me, it is about everyone who shows up here day after day. All of you who read and comment and email, I thank you.

Those of you who came up to me and told me that you enjoyed reading what I write here? That never ceases to amaze me. And those of you who have told me that you have read every single post… more than once… well, wow. I don’t know that *I* have read every single post I have written.

I hope that I was gracious to all of you who approached me.

Because I have seen what not gracious looks like, and I would never want to be that. A person who spent the entire time looking over the heads of the people she was talking to, looking for someone better or more popular to talk with.

Saturday night while packed into macy’s this person started walking over to me and a friend I was standing with.

I elbowed her. “Watch what she does. Ok, just watch.”

“You are crazy. I don’t believe it.”

Over walks the person who talks to my friend, not me. Does not even make eye contact with me or acknowledge my presence at all. Even when I say, “My invisibility cloak is working!”

She continued on after less than a minute, her next networking opportunity already scoped out. My friend turned to me and said, “Wow. That was so weird.”

“Dude, I KNOW! Who knew my invisibility cloak worked so well!”

“You should start selling those. You will make a killing on them.”

And then we laughed until we spilled our drinks. Oooops, sorry Macy’s. At least my glass didn’t shatter on the floor.

Posted by Chris @ 10:48 am  

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  1. AmyG says:

    Hi Chris! I, too, am part of your legion of fans that check your site (almost) every day and I, too, have been shivering in San Fran in July with a suitcase full of sundresses and sandals. Love your posts - keep them coming!

  2. Kristin says:

    Oh Chris! We love you too! :) I didn’t get to go to blogher but I love reading your updates and I love how down to earth you are! Hopefully whoever “that person” is, she realizes that she will not be popular for long! The more people she “looks past” the most people will look past her and her site as well.

  3. Laurie says:

    I too enjoy your writing. In fact, I have a printed copy of your poem: “My Other Child” on the wall over my computer. I am a mom of four boys and it fits so well. Thanks.

  4. Kathy from NJ says:

    Forty years ago my college roommate & I went to San Francisco in June - the first day we were there we went to Macy’s & bought coats.

  5. Mamacita says:

    I don’t even know why I bothered with a suitcase since I wore that gigantic greenish sweatshirt every single day. Oh yeah - I needed the suitcase to bring home the loot!

    I’ve loved your blog for a long time, which means, by extension, I love you, too.

    As for your invisibility cloak? I’ve been wearing one of those, apparently, for years now. Sigh.

  6. Mary O says:

    I didn’t go to BlogHer, but I am a big fan of yours. I think I would be star-struck if I ever saw you in person. You’re a great writer.

  7. Susan says:

    DYING to know who it was. DY-ING.

  8. Kelly says:

    I love how you just write the truth, you say what most of us think. As for the “networker”…since her conversations are purely for her own gain it will never work that way. I have a mentor who is “the star” at our functions and she is incredible because she is fully PRESENT in every conversation, never looking around for someone better. I strive to be more like her every day.

  9. Moose says:

    You are extraordinarily gracious. Exhibit A: Sitting with me while I cried last year. Exhibit B: Letting me give you a drunken hug in thanks this year. Was so nice to see you again. :)

  10. Stacey says:

    I have an invisibility cloak too!

    I’m a long time lurker (my cloak works on the internets too). Just wanted to say I love your writing.

  11. catnip says:

    Wait. Someone looked past YOU? Are they nuts?

  12. suburbancorrespondent says:

    Thank you for just sticking to some interesting personal tidbits from BlogHer. If I read one more “Gosh, it was the funnest thing ever, everyone was there, you really missed out” post, I might just turn in my blogging badge.

    And, yes, I know, I don’t have to read any of them. But I’m a masochist - I can’t help looking.

    I could use one of those invisibility cloaks for after bedtime around here.

  13. Mrs. Schmitty says:

    I would NEVER ignore you! Her loss…you are an awesome blogger and I would have loved saying hi!

  14. Kelley says:

    LOL! I am with MaryO. I would be so star-struck to see you in person. I am a huge fan and read your blog daily. LOVE IT!

  15. crockpot lady says:

    you are beyond gracious. I could. not. stop. gushing over you and how your posts saved my sanity during middle-of-the-night marathon nursing sessions. I felt alone, and was thankful that your archives were full of so very much to read. When I reached the end of the archives and had to go “live” I felt the kind of withdrawl and remorse you feel when you come to the end of the best book you’ve ever read.

    You have a gift, Chris. You help women feel better about themselves–it is priceless.
    but I think you should name a price. I really do.


  16. slynnro says:

    Did you get your invisibility coat at Old Navy?

    (I really can’t get off this trench coat thing. I’m still bitter about Susan’s post yesterday).

  17. Angella says:

    I, for one, was happy to meet you and chat with you. You are all sorts of lovely.

    I need to get an invisibility cloak - it would come in handy with the kids…

  18. Daisy says:

    If I were on staff at Macy’s, I’d probably stock the trench coats and sweaters in a strategic location so that SF tourists could find them easily and buy LOTS!!
    I can’t be snarky about the weather, though. I traveled from Wisconsin to Nova Scotia in June and didn’t pack enough pants - mainly shorts. Duh. I should have known better.

  19. CathyC says:

    OK, it sounds like you had a nice time until the high school sweetheart with all the wrinkles threw an invisibility cloak on you. Screw her! She stinks!
    I love this blog (and still try to will it back to name The Big Yellow House —love love love that name-no I don’t care that your house isn’t yellow,duh!) and I am SURE that if I ever ran into you I would stop you in your tracks with all my jumping up and down like a puppy dog and all my Oh My God! Oh My God! Over and over. Yeah. You’d want to throw that invisibility cloak on me.
    Have a great day!

  20. Brittany says:

    OOoh! Can I get one of those invisibility cloaks? Please Please Please?

  21. CarolynOnline says:

    Oh my gosh the invisibility cloak! Awesome! Love that you called her out on it mid-convo and she still didn’t notice. I guess it has a mute funtion too.

  22. t in h says:

    What a cute skirt you are wearing in that pic.

  23. SoMo says:

    Maybe it wasn’t an invisibility cloak you were wearing, but a too smart and wonderful I am not worthy cloak. I saw them next to the invisibility cloaks at the store, so maybe you got one by mistake.

  24. Heather B. says:

    So how much would it be for one of those invisibility cloaks? Also *I* would never doubt you Chris. Never. Have I mentioned how pretty your hair looked and that I love you trenchcoat? ;-)

  25. jody says:

    Eww. I’m sorry that that person did that to you. Just rude.

    It is a terrible feeling to be blown off and ignored.

  26. Katie says:

    I honestly do enjoy reading the BlogHer round up posts afterwards. One of these days I hope to attend and I’ll be one of your crazy fans gushing over you. And I promise never to look over anyone’s head. At 5′3″ (okay 5′2 1/2″), it’s damn near impossible to do ayways.

  27. Crisanne says:

    It is rather amazing that someone would not find you “cool” enough to acknowledge.

    I’ve always enjoyed your writing and your fun sense of humor. Keep it coming!

  28. Mom on the Run says:

    I hate hate hate those who talk to you and look around the room for someone more interesting to talk to. How rude! It’s funny how these people don’t think their actions are noticeable.

  29. Jes says:

    C’mon…give us a hint! I want to leave a comment on their site, “you know, you’re OK, but I don’t enjoy you NEARLY as much as Notes From the Trenches…”

  30. Dawn says:

    I’ll warrant that networker’s attitude comes across in her blogging. If so, she won’t last long. Besides. She was just jealous of your hair.

    I love your blog. If I were to meet you, I’d never ignore you. I might stare like a loon, speechless and intimidated, but I wouldn’t ignore you!

    And I admit it. I’m dying to know who it was, too.

  31. Swistle says:

    I am so glad to hear a BlogHer story that doesn’t sound like a “I went to camp and all of the other campers became my sisters!!” anecdote. I KNOW it’s probably great in many ways, but it starts to sound like no one is a flawed human being—which makes me doubt the stories.

  32. Dianna says:

    I love your site and stories, but probably most of all the photos. You capture some amazing moments.

  33. kim says:

    Hmmmmm. Now who is that popular TALL BlogHer? You should have grabbed her around the knees and gave her a big ole hug!LOL.

  34. FishyGirl says:

    Ha! I must have a perma-invisibility cloak, because people always look over me like I’m not there. No, wait, it’s because I’m 4″10.

  35. Jennifer says:

    I want to know who it was :)!

  36. Claudious says:

    I think of how I’d stand out a blog her, and it makes me glad that other people tell me how it goes, because I think I won’t make it.

  37. Kristabella says:

    OMG if it was me it was 1) because I’m tall and 2) because you’re so fabulous that I was looking around like “am I really standing by THE CHRIS JORDAN?”

  38. regan says:

    If I could have I would’ve put you in my purse and taken you home. You would fit too, because my purse is big and you are tiny.

  39. Rae says:

    I love how your mothering of young boys comes out even in the midst of being overlooked at Blogher. But who makes Chris Jordan feel invisible? Are they crazy?

  40. Mary W says:

    I would have been jumping up and down OMG it’s Chris Jordan over and over and you would have been looking for an exit from me because I’m such a spaz.

  41. Mrs. F says:

    I live in Sacramento where it is 95 degrees, even in the dead of night. I work in San Francisco on the weekends and I swear EVERY weekend I have to go to Ross in search of a sweatshirt, because every weekend I forget to bring one from home. I pride myself in being so smart. It was misty last weekend and I called it rain. Oh how easily we forget.

    I hope I get to wear an invisible cloak to BlogHer next year. I am so jealous. Reserve me one.

  42. Jen @ amazingtrips says:

    What?! You are so literary! I thought for sure you’d remember Mark Twain’s famous line “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” I think everyone makes that mistake when they pack their suitcases to visit SF. The first time I went to No. Cal, I had to buy a $50.00 sweatshirt near Fisherman’s Wharf (in 1985, HELLO) because all I had brought with me were shorts and t-shirts.

    Glad you had fun. Sorry there were pricks. For some odd reason, I think I know who it was.

  43. Lady M says:

    I’ve never seen you be anything less than gracious. Thanks for the nice chat and watermarking tip.

  44. owlhaven says:

    it was great to finally meet you in person!!


    Mary, mom to many

  45. Anonymous says:

    Duh.. It was Dooce people! Apparently she was rude to a lot of bloggers, there are various accounts from many going around online.

    Chris says: No, it was not Heather.

  46. Brigitte says:

    At least Macy’s would have never found you, the renegade drink spiller, without your confession, what with the invisibility cloak and all.

  47. Deb says:

    I read your blog almost every day…in fact it is the first link on my blog file. I don’t comment often, but your posts almost always make me smile. My four kids are on the older side, and I am just finishing up homeschooling the last one in his senior year. (The oldest just finished an MBA. Job, anyone?) I like that your posts remind me of what it was like when they were young.

    My husband was a great journal keeper, and I have wonderful written memories of their growing up time. You’ll be glad you have your blog history in the future. It is cool to look back.

    And I’m here to tell all of you that there IS a life after raising children AND it is a ton of fun! But I wouldn’t have missed the staying at home with them for anything!

  48. Anne says:

    OK.. that is not so weird.. I think I may have read every post… because they are all that great… yes they are!
    I frequently send my friends (those that are not blog readers and lurkers) email links to the ones that keep me laughing all day.

    I can’t imagine anyone ignoring you… I would think that anyone with a damn brain would be in the “I want to be Chris’ new BFF” line.

  49. meredith says:

    Hi from another fan :)

  50. sandy says:

    I don’t know how anybody could stand to ignore you, Chris. I’d have been drooling(in a good way) at your feet.

  51. Maddy says:

    I think I would be too nervous to come up to any of the people whose bloggs I read and say hello, so being gracious is really important. It’s sort of like celebrity spotting, well OK it “is” like celebrity spotting.

    So, when’s BlogHer going international and you all come over to Australia so I can do a bit of celebrity spotting? We’re really nice :D

  52. SAJ says:

    It was me wasn’t it? Because I was the idiot who didn’t know your real name and called you “Tiffany” in my flickr photos wasn’t it? Wait. Nah. It couldn’t be me. The world doesn’t revolve around me that much. But seriously, I am sorry I didn’t know your real name because I really really liked you and as soon as I catch up on my own incredibly long and boring blogher rehash post I’m going to read everything you write.

    Chris says: Of course it wasn’t you, silly. We bonded over Chinatown and paper hats.

  53. Katie says:

    I think it’s a little bit sad how often it seems that happened at what is supposed to be a group of women coming together to celebrate a common interest. I so badly wanted to be there and I just hope that if I have the opportunity to go next year that I’ll encounter more people like you and less like the anonymous tall person who ignored you. Not cool.

  54. Hoosiermama says:

    Sounds like a wonderful trip! I was in San Francisco earlier this month and it was darn cool out most of the time. I had been warned and took denim capris but wished for full length pants.

  55. Nadine/Scarbiedoll says:

    If I was in AA and had to go back and say sorry to the people I had wronged I think would be one of the people. Because as I drank more last weekend, I think I got really loud and really “I am Chris Jordan’s STALKER!” Oh dear. It’s really sad that I am delurking to say that.

    Also, though I doubt I was looking over your head (because I am very short), if I was it was either because my roomie was 6 ft tall and I kept losing her, or because there were SHOES in Macy’s.

    You are fantastic and super nice and if I “came on too strong” I apologize. I don’t get out much.

    Chris says: Nadine, I don’t remember you being anything but nice. It was a pleasure meeting you.

  56. deb says:

    I remember the same thing happening to me a Blogher last summer. People just looking past you or ignoring you. Or that horrified look on their face when you just finished telling them you’re a mommy blogger, like it’s a disease or maybe they just stepped in a steaming pile of shit. Yeah, I didn’t miss that this year.

  57. Shamelessly Sassy says:

    I wasn’t at Blogher. But when I go next year, I will be sure to bring my invisibility cloak. I hope they sell those at Target.

  58. qtpies7 says:

    Wow, that would be so funny! And yet so frustrating if you didn’t have a good attitude.

  59. crazedparent says:

    catching up and delurking to tell you that i was jealous I didn’t get on that field trip to old navy for the super deal trench! because while i only live 20 minutes south of SF, they don’t have them here! just not fair.

    i also overheard the macy’s folks talking about wine spills on their carpet while we were all clearing out. now i know…it was you they were talking about :)

  60. Kyran says:

    Sometimes when I think people are being aloof/indifferent/don’t like me, it turns out later they were just shy or (hard for me to fathom) intimidated. This post has me wondering if I guessed wrongly when I assumed someone didn’t want me talking to them because they didn’t reach out to me. I guess it never hurts to extend the benefit of doubt?

    If that person really was a social networking climber, she was an awfully poor one.

    Chris says: If it were something that had only been directed at me, I would assume that it was me and my own issues. And really the point of my post was not to be oh poor me someone was not nice to me, but rather to say I hope I NEVER act so ungracious to anyone who comes up and speaks to me.

    However, this person was acting like this to many people. Falling all over herself to talk to “popular” people and being blatantly rude to others. I am not the only one who noticed it and I have gotten many emails from people who have said, “OMG you must be talking about x, because I noticed that too!”

  61. eko says:

    Could/would never do blogher - and it probably doesn’t help that I can’t tolerate more than one drink now-a-days. I really think one needs to do something when meeting up with the type you describe - like just walk away and IF they were to say something, just saying something like “Oh - your eyes left long ago, so I assumed so did your thoughts/brain and that our talk/visit was over…”

    I don’t read Dooce, but think people just assume she’ll be aloof and acting almighty, but I hear she’s a warm funny lady. Some people though DO make it all about themselves and forget all people can struggle with reaching out/communicating face to face at times.

    GO lady bloggers!!!

  62. Kyran says:

    I didn’t detect an iota of “poor me.” :-) I tend to want to believe everybody’s heart is in the right place. Of the very few “mean girl” stories I’ve heard come out of blogher, I keep thinking, oh, there’s surely some explanation for that. Sigh. I guess sometimes the explanation is that the person was being a jerk.

  63. ali says:

    you = 100% gracious (with a little hint of snark..that i loved sooo much about you)

    i don’t know about your invisibility cloak…but you have excellent taste in trench coats ;)

  64. jennielynn says:

    You were very gracious, even when I semi-geeked out on you at Ruby Sky. I refrained from hugging you and I was pretty dang proud, since I was a little tipsy.

    I have no clue who you were referring to, but I got that treatment from a few folks who should have known better.

  65. Stephanie says:

    Well I’ve never met you, but I imagine that if I ever had the occasion, I would do all in my power to make sure that we became friends, because you seem to be simply lovely. The same goes for those you spend your time with, as their blogs, as yours is, are right there on my blog roll, “intelligent women with whom I pretend I am friends.”

  66. kat says:

    c’mon tell us. you could wear your invisibility cloak, & write her name in invisible ink, then she’d never know it was even out there.

  67. Lani ~ The Wooden Porch says:

    The badge sounds like something I would have done. That’s funny! I hope I can go to BlogHer next year. I totally want to meet you.