Open Letter to My Nine Year Old Son
August 16, 2008
Dear Son,
I realize that at football practice you get hot running around with all of that gear on.
I realize that it must have looked really cool when a couple of the kids pulled off their helmets and poured their water jugs over their heads to cool off.
I realize that you wanted to do it too. Why wouldn’t you? Who wouldn’t want to pour water over their head?
But my darling son, fruit of my loins, did it not occur to you as you dumped your half gallon jug over your head that you had gatorade not water.
I mean I realize that you think you live in a sitcom. And it was sort of funny when you stuck your tongue out and shook your head so gatorade came flying off your hair, and you said, “Mmmmm refreshing!” But son, we were all laughing AT you, not with you.
Then I had to drive you home in my car and you were dripping sticky gatorade everywhere. Next time you are walking home.
Love,
Mom
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Hysterical! If only they learned to stop and think as they grew older.
August 16th, 2008 at 8:46 pmSorry to giggle at your expense, Chris! Sometimes they just don’t think before they act, do they?!
August 16th, 2008 at 9:06 pmYour son must have missed the ads–there’s probably a good reason they say “Is it IN you?” vs. “Is it ON you?” Here’s to hoping you have leather interior. And it’s something I can totally see my son doing when he gets a bit older–anything for a laugh (whether it’s with him or at him, I really don’t think he cares).
Some kids are just natural hams, though. I think that’s half the reason my son still loves to run around naked:
August 16th, 2008 at 9:06 pmSuch a boy thing to do… too funny.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:13 pmi need to not drink while reading your blog. my anal retentive husband will thank me.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:30 pmYou let him in the car? Really?
August 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pmLaughing so hard right now. They just don’t think, do they?
August 16th, 2008 at 9:46 pmPriceless. Boys will be boys; act now, think later.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:52 pmbawwawawa! Poor guy!
August 16th, 2008 at 10:00 pmLOL! Oh my gosh…your son is HYSTERICAL! And I love that you found the humor in it…
August 16th, 2008 at 10:19 pmi think kids are basically idiots. it is not an idiocity only boys can lay claim to - my 10yo son AND his two best (girl) friends would do the same thing. it’s why their mamas & i drink
August 16th, 2008 at 10:55 pmThat is TOO funny!!!! Boys really are from Mars.
August 17th, 2008 at 12:18 amMan, that was way too funny. Note to self, do not drink red wine over the laptop when reading blogs!
August 17th, 2008 at 4:32 amOh man. That is high-larious. Poor you with the sticky head, but FUNNY. Is the nine year old the one who just had the haircut? Because if so… good thing.
August 17th, 2008 at 5:00 amNo, trust me I think the other 9 year old boys thought he was the funniest one of all. They probably thought he was cool!
August 17th, 2008 at 7:55 amI think he’s practicing for a career as a professional (winning)coach.
August 17th, 2008 at 9:57 amLOL! If that were my house he’d be cleaning the car. Boys.
August 17th, 2008 at 10:10 amI’m pretty sure your son is going to grow up to be my husband because this is exactly the kind of thing he would do and attempt to pull off. And Mmmmm Refreshing? Exactly what he would say.
August 17th, 2008 at 10:46 ami’m laughing WITH him….that ‘mmmmmmm refreshing’ part is hilarious!
of course, he wasn’t getting into MY car. i’d hose him off first.
August 17th, 2008 at 12:35 pmEek! I would have either hosed him down or tied him to the roof! That must have been a nice sticky mess going into your washer!
August 17th, 2008 at 2:36 pmMy cousins when they were about 4 and 6 years old got covered head to toe in clay while playing in the creek. Their mother, who had a new car, had each of them step into a garbage bag and covered them up to their necks (not their heads, I promise!) before placing them into the car for the ride home. This is a family story we still tell today.
August 17th, 2008 at 5:07 pmNext time? He wipes down the seats of the car — after his shower!
August 17th, 2008 at 9:26 pmOh, yuck. Sticky, messy, yuck!
August 17th, 2008 at 10:43 pmSee? The only thing that saved him from really getting in trouble was your mind going “blog post!”
August 17th, 2008 at 10:43 pmthat’s the first good laugh i’ve had all day….and it’s bedtime!
http://www.lifespearliscast.blogspot.com
August 17th, 2008 at 11:09 pmit’s important to let them know when you are laughing AT them. i wholeheartedly support that.
August 18th, 2008 at 12:12 amrotf…that’s hilarious
August 18th, 2008 at 11:12 amboys are an entirely different species, eh?
August 18th, 2008 at 3:47 pmHilarious.
BTW, what happened with the whole park thing?
August 18th, 2008 at 5:30 pmHilarious. Wonder if it burned the eyes? OUCH! Did you at least make him clean the sticky from the car?
August 18th, 2008 at 7:52 pmThis is why I have trash bags in my car
Sit on them, cover up with them, use them to make sure no Gatorade drips on the upholstery…hehe 
That was a great story, too funny!
August 18th, 2008 at 10:10 pmHillllarity! Don’t you just love blogs? You can go back later and find all of these cute stories to retell over and over and over. My aunt liked to do it whenver we started bugging her to do stuff. We always disappeared in a hurry. ‘Course, that was before blogs. So a mom had to just *remember* this stuff. Boy am I glad I don’t have to do that. My kids have turned my mind to mush. ‘Kay. Will stop rambling now.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:38 amACK! Thank you so much for that laugh!
August 19th, 2008 at 12:35 pmThis is hilarious! Gatorade!! Priceless. I am sure he was proud of himself as well.
Jenna
August 19th, 2008 at 3:11 pmhttp://newlyweds.wordpress.com
I Ssssssoooo needed this today. . .after my son passed gas in the doctor’s office. I have never been so embarassed!! It’s great to hear someone else’s kids have. . .um. . .blonde moments (spoken by a blonde)!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:59 pmMy son did the exact same thing when we were camping . . . and it was the blue Gatorade . . . are you kidding me?????
Boys.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:18 pmTry “Smart Water” in the half gallon jug. All the electrolytes, no sugar and no sticky. Besides, at that age they need all the extra smarts they can get. I speak from the experience of a Mom of two teenage athletes and carpool to the team.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:04 pmCould have been worse. I can remember driving my kids home from sports when they were dripping:
1. Blood
August 19th, 2008 at 11:58 pm2. Vomit
3. All of the above.
Hee! Very cute.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:08 amhaha. so cute. trying to be like the big boys. definitely sounds like something my little brother would do too.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:37 pmOh my gosh… Too funny!
Is this what I have to look forward to? My boys are 5 and (almost)7. I can only imagine what I have coming! Yeecchhh.
This is my first visit to your blog and it is fantastic (and a little scary. Like I said… I can only wonder what’s ahead for me!!)
Thanks for the giggles!
August 21st, 2008 at 11:31 pm