The Weekend
November 23, 2008
really isn’t different from the rest of the week.
I like to call Susan early in the morning on Saturday and Sundays and let her know what the temperature is outside. Mostly because she is always complaining about how hot it is at her son’s soccer field. And I am always complaining about how cold it is at the football field.
And she says things like, “If I were there I wouldn’t complain because I could be wearing my new purple pea coat from JCrew.” And I answer back, “Well, if I were there I wouldn’t complain because at least I wouldn’t have FROSTBITE.”
Yesterday morning? It was 15 degrees when we left the house. That is Fahrenheit. My son tried to take a photo of the thermometer in the car while we were driving but we were shivering too much to hold the phone still.
The boys’ water bottles froze on the sidelines at the field during practice. A practice that was cut short due to the cold. But I did not know this because I was busyshopping keeping warm at the Target. I felt slightly guilty when I arrived back at the field and practice was already over. Until I realized that I was not the last parent there to pick up.
Yes, some days that is how I make myself feel better. By rejoicing in the knowledge that I am not the parent who sucks the most. At least not on that particular day. Or that particular moment. If I have learned anything in all these years of parenting, it’s that we all get our turn. The secret is to feel good when it isn’t you and not to judge. Because karma? She is a spiteful bitch.
Then I brought my son to American Eagle where I made up for my very existence by buying him things. He picked out overpriced jeans with rips already in them. RIPS! It’s like the 80’s have come back to haunt me.
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Yeah, we all have our moments. Sometimes I think I’m the ONLY mom that is constantly forgetting things and messing up. It feels great to see I’m not the only on a little less than perfect.
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:29 pmHey, I would be the last parent back to the field. But I figure I perform an important community service on these occasions, that of making the other parents feel better. I have been reading your blog over the last couple of weeks, from the beginning, and it reads like a hugely funny, sometimes oh, so sad snapshot of real family life. It has brightened up many of my days recently. I know these can only be snippets of the whole life you live, but you capture so well the whole crazy, exhausting, joyful, infuriating nature of life with children - thankyou.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 pmI was telling my husband last Christmas that the people who sew jeans for Abercrombie & Fitch must think Americans are insane. I paid $90 for jeans for my 17yo that are a)paint splattered, b)ripped in several places, c) worn in many areas, and d)had one hole mended.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 pmAre you still doing the “no buy” thing with your family?
Chris says: No. I decided that the economy needed me more.
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 pmI picked up my 18 year old from college on Friday and just to show him how uncool I really am asked him if the hole in his jeans was supposed to be there. Sigh.
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 pmI remember when I said I would NEVER buy my kids jean with rips in them…..now 3 kids later…..yea….right…
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 pmThe older my kids get and the more opportunities that I have to screw up…I totally do the same thing to make myself feel better.
November 24th, 2008 at 2:53 am“The secret is to feel good when it isn’t you and not to judge.”
Luckily a friend tipped me off to this gem of parenting wisdom very early on in the game. It’s been smooth sailing since.
November 24th, 2008 at 3:16 amHahahahah………..jeans with rips…………every parents nightmare! And don’t worry…….the fact that you are worried about being a good mom means you ARE one!
November 24th, 2008 at 4:29 amWhew, I thought I had the only 12yo age range son that was into fashion. He loves A.E. - but he’ll only get ripped jeans if he pays for them himself.
I wholly agree about feeling good about doing it right, but not judging others’ when they fall short…!
November 24th, 2008 at 4:50 am(Wondering if I should tell Chris that it was 66 here yesterday and that my children wore shorts. Hmm, probably not.)
November 24th, 2008 at 7:43 amBack in MY day, we wore our ripped jeans proudly because we had come by those rips, holes and repairs HONESTLY. And we LIKED it! These kids today, sheesh.
November 24th, 2008 at 7:55 amMy Mom refused to buy pre-ripped jeans for me in the 80’s - I used to think that she was so out-dated. Now that I have kids, and things are so expensive, I think I would be hard pressed to buy my kids pre-ripped jeans. My son is also in the 3rd grade and fashion isn’t so much of an issue for boys yet, but in 6 or 7 years I may be amending the above statement.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:32 amI remember wanting a pair of ripped jeans many years ago. My mother bought me an unripped pair and gave me a list of things I could do to ‘wear’ them out. She said if she caught sight of a rip or wear mark that wasn’t put there by ‘hard work’ it would be the last new pair of jeans I got in the right size. We’ll just say I didn’t test her.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:52 amI have those days where I arrive to pick the kids up from school late, and am thankful that there are other kids still there. Some days the words “I don’t suck the most,” feel ambitious. That reminds me, I need to get a gift for the school secretary
November 24th, 2008 at 11:23 amSuch a good Momma!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:26 amWhat gets me is that I could gladly reproduce the rips in a cheap pair of jeans. But oh the horrified looks then.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:31 amWe must have raised ours right because they a.) buy their own pants and b.) buy inexpensive ones from Walmart.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:49 amThe ripped jeans things just annoys me. I should get at least some off of the price since they are already worn out by the time I buy them!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:57 amI totally get rejoicing that I suck less than that other sucky mom.
Also, my secret to happiness and success is: Low Standards. Try it. You’ll never go back.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:05 pmI had to laugh. I frequently measure my effectiveness as a mom on whether or not I am NOT the last one to pick up my child from an activity. But I am well aware that gloating promotes bad karma! Thanks for sharing — it makes me feel not so alone!
November 24th, 2008 at 12:17 pmI think I was too young to be interested in ripped jeans at the time they were popular, but I still can’t figure out the appeal.
The logical of your cold, cold weather + ripped jeans = your son shall have mighty frozen legs. Did he not think of this while in the warmth of the clothing store?
November 24th, 2008 at 1:01 pmOf all the fashions that have been repeated from the last century rips may be the worst. An interesting thing about it is that it began in the 80’s for the very first time. I remember when they sold iron-on knee patches for little boys jeans, it was not fashionable to have bare knee showing through. Sears, and probably others, advertised jeans with double fabric knees in their catalogues. We are truly blessed when we can buy ragged clothing as a fashion statement. I’m not condemning it, just commenting. I don’t dare buy my tween and teen granddaughters any clothing because while they are gracious they sure wont wear what they don’t want to wear.
November 24th, 2008 at 1:02 pmAnd I’d like to belatedly add that the kids are most likely comparing you to the other late parents. It’s like getting picked last in gym class. Everything’s fine as long as someone else is still waiting there to get picked.
November 24th, 2008 at 1:03 pmI just love your blog (I just found it and have only been reading a couple weeks now) and it makes me chuckle when I’m at work and everyone wonders what I’m doing over there in my cube! You are such a good writer! And funny, you life is just like mine (and about a million other mother’s too!)!
November 24th, 2008 at 2:20 pm