Things I Have Learned Today
November 24, 2008
1) Baking pies is not as easy as I thought.
2) Even when you are baking pies with ready made pie crust and canned fruit, which is for all intents and purposes just a small side step from the hermetically sealed Table Talk pie they sell at the 7-11.
3) If your three year old is messing with the dials on the oven it would be wise to check and make sure that he really didn’t turn them. Even if he insists that he didn’t turn them. Because we all know how three year olds NEVER lie. Unless you want to broil your pies. I don’t know, maybe some people want a burned black top and raw inside.
4) Peeling and slicing apples is really annoying. Why it is so exasperating to me that my children can’t eat the apples whole, the way the good lord intended, I have no idea. It just is.
5) We have a mysterious invisible person that lives in our house. He likes to bite fruit and put it back it the fruit bowl. Toss empty granola bar wrappers on the floor. Leave wet towels laying in the hallway. And also pee on the toilet seat.
6) Did I mention that I have learned baking pies is not one of my strengths? I am just glad that my name won’t be on the pies to identify who made them. I’m sure that they will taste just fine. And they certainly won’t kill anyone. But they might be better appreciated by the blind is all I am sayin’
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Hey, we have that same mysterious person living at our house too! Wow!
November 24th, 2008 at 10:03 pm;0)
If it is any consolation, apparently the mysterious invisible person makes his rounds, because despite 3rd degree questioning-no one in our house is responsible for the pee on the toilets that is there DAILY!!!! It must be that invisible “person.”
November 24th, 2008 at 10:11 pmCall them “rustic”.
Works on for chefs on the Food Network, anyway.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:24 pmThat same invisible person must travel up and down the east coast cuz I’m sure they’ve crashed here a few time. ;o)
November 24th, 2008 at 10:41 pmNo pretty pictures to accompany this post? Points for trying anyway.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:49 pmhahahaha - funny post! Thanks for the laugh. We have the same invisible person too. Surely your pies were worthy of a photo op!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:04 pmTry *heavily* dusting them with powdered sugar :o) It will disguise anything!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:05 pmah, our person is named Not Me. Very active person he is ^^
Karen
November 24th, 2008 at 11:07 pmAs for #5, you really should get your husband to break those bad habits…
November 24th, 2008 at 11:11 pmI really detest the pee on the toilet. Come on lift the lid AND the seat. Aim. Keep your eye on the target. If you spray over, WIPE it up already.
I’m just hoping that invisible person could also be like the Shoemaker’s Elves and do a little work while visiting the bathroom. Come on, a mom can wish.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:20 pmHey, number five. Yeah. He’s here at our house too. Except he doesn’t pee on the toilet seat here, he pees on the floor AROUND the toilet.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:21 pmWait…I thought pies were SUPPOSED to be black on top and raw in the middle. Crap.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:43 pmHA! I made my very first pumpkin pie last week. Yes, I’m 44 years old and never made a pumpkin pie before! The recipe sounded so easy. Like yours, mine was better left for the blind. It tasted delicious, but it didn’t set properly so the slices weren’t exactly pie shaped — more like a blob of sweet pumpkin mush on a crust. **blushing**
At least I have confirmed why I named myself Not June Cleaver.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:10 amWe have a few of those people too. They call themselves Not Me and I Don’t Know.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:12 amYeah, that person comes to my house in Boston, too. Only when he (she?) is here, he also leaves the lights on upstairs. And puts empty containers back in the fridge. But the pee, really, that has got to be his worst habit.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:16 amCostco sells some killer pies! ;D
November 25th, 2008 at 12:40 amApple-Peeler Slicer: you need one; best damn $28 I ever spent. Why? It works for potatoes too.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:03 amMr. Nobody lives in our home too…he gets around, doesn’t he..??
November 25th, 2008 at 1:16 amYes…………the bitten piece of fruit that ends up BACK in the fruit drawer or bowl……….a favorite of mine for SURE!
November 25th, 2008 at 3:10 amIronic that it sounds like everyone’s invisible person is male…and you live with seven of them. Hmmmmm…..
I’m hungry for pie now.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:34 amGet an apple peeler corer slicer from Pampered Chef or a good cook store. Your life will be so much easier.
Chris says: I do have one. But I still think they should eat the damn apples the way they come.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:49 amWow, that invisible person sure gets around. Too bad we have so few people using the toilets in this house that we can figure out who peed on the seat without a doubt by process of elimination. I now have a son who has to clean the bathrooms until he can pee IN the toilet. He’s more than old enough to know better.
November 25th, 2008 at 5:26 amMmm, MM! Blackened Cajun-style pies!
November 25th, 2008 at 6:13 amYea, that invisible guy lives around here too…
November 25th, 2008 at 7:30 amYou may think I am heartless, but after watching my sister raise 4 boys that couldn’t seem to hit the bowl if they tried, I vowed I was not going to spend my life cleaning pee! At the ripe old age of 4, I taught my sons how to clean the toilet. Yes, there was the gagging, the,”I can’t believe I have to touch this!” However, I NEVER have had to deal with cleaning pee off the toilet and floor. Ever. Unless, of course, we have company.
Apparently those mothers never taught their sons how to clean the bathroom. My sons are now 26, 19, and 17. I like to think I’ve prepared them well for their future wives.
Learning to clean the bathroom at a young age develops a healthy respect for learning to aim!
November 25th, 2008 at 9:37 amI am completely with you on the apple thing. My kids are the same way and it drives me CRAZY. However…I have noticed that they actually eat the whole apple if I go thru the peeling, slicing nonsense. Not so when it comes to “as is”. I usually find a piece in the compost like you find returned to your fruit bowl.
The perpetrator in our house is known as “it wasn’t me” and I just found long sleeve t-shirts that actually have that emblazoned on them at a certain store that rhymes with Bold Gravy. Now they just have to point to their shirts when being interrogated…
November 25th, 2008 at 10:09 amHe lives here too. And I too have taught the boys to clean the toilets. My invisible one leaves socks in every room too. Seriously, EVERY. ROOM.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:23 amWow! That little invisible guy lives here, too. Why he likes to bite the fruit and put it back, I don’t know!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:30 amI think your mysterious invisible person’s brother lives at my house. And he is very busy.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pmI have broiled a pie. For similar reasons. There are good reasons why I don’t make pie very often.
As for #5–I think we have that child in our house too….his or her name is “not me” or “I didn’t do it!” That kid wrecks havok on our house every day! I only wish I could catch up with him to give him a piece of my mind!LOL
November 25th, 2008 at 1:14 pmThat same invisible person lives at my house too! Little guy sure does get around!
November 25th, 2008 at 1:55 pmMy daughter has a 10th child that she did not give birth to–said child is named “Not Me” because that is the person that pees on the toilet set, leaves trash laying about and does a host of other not plesant things. It is nice to know that most families have their own “Not Me.” Have fun tomorrow–and enjoy your evening meal with your family.
November 26th, 2008 at 5:12 pm“Not Me” also visits the households of single parents with only one child. A girl child, no less!
December 1st, 2008 at 1:15 pmwhen i have enough money to randomly send gifts to strangers, i’m going to buy you one of those awesome old-timey machines that peels and cores and slices apples. i have one. and i love it. it’s the nuts. and your kids would think it’s so cool they would do it themselves leaving you free to do more fun stuff than peel apples.
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 am