November 25, 2008
I baked 14 pies yesterday.
The pies looked perfect before they were baked. Afterward, they definitely looked
made by a kindergartner homemade.
Today there will be no pie baking.
I just finished a radio interview with some morning show somewhere in the U.S. Don’t you love how specific I am? I was terrified that Miles was going to wake up in the middle of the segment. He is three and therefore devoid of all rational thought and reasoning ability. And when his schedule is disrupted at all, to include my being on the phone and not fawning all over him, feeding him freshly peeled grapes while I polish his spun gold halo, he is likely to be a little asshole. A little SCREAMING asshole.
In fact as I type this he is rolling around on the kitchen floor having a tantrum because his sister got the box of cereal out of the cabinet and he wanted to do it. Even though he doesn’t actually want to EAT cereal. See? Asshole.
So I prepared for the interview by opening a large package of Twizzlers. I was fully prepared to feed him the entire package in exchange for his silence. Or use them to create a ball gag. Either one would have worked.
Luckily he stayed asleep.
This morning I have a desperately needed hair appointment and am hoping to squeeze in a manicure. Tomorrow I will be flying back to Chicago where I will spend Thanksgiving Day with Susan and Roxanna at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line headquarters.
You might just see us on one of the morning talk shows.