Where I Send You Elsewhere

November 8, 2008

I won two awards this month.

Jessica, from Oh, the Joys! nominated me for a ROFL award for this post. Me and my boobs thank her.

My dear friend, Lindsay, from Suburban Turmoil, nominated me for a Perfect Post award for this post. You should head on over and read the rest of the posts that were nominated. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll add new (to you) blogs to your feed reader.

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I think I mentioned that I went to Butterball University, right? I thought there might be beer bongs and toga parties. And John Belushi. Have I just dated myself or what?

Although at Butterball they keep referring to us as “young moms” and it makes Susan and I indescribably giddy with happiness.

I have a post up about what it was really like to go to Butterball University and learn how to cook a turkey. The right way. So that you don’t have to stand at the oven with your fingers crossed praying to the cooking gods.

Or you can read about the very first time I cooked a turkey.

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Today my oldest son has to participate in his first fund raising effort to get money for the football team to travel to Florida. He will be standing outside the grocery store with fellow team mates asking for donations. My nine year old son really wants to go and help. I am inclined to let him since he is still small and cute and the old people just adore him and his dimples.

Funny story. I was telling the boys about the “can drive,” as it is called, and collecting money. My 9 yr old son blurts out, “Holding cans and asking for money? Like we are homeless?” Um, no. I mean, yes. I mean, no, not really since we want to go on a trip not have money for food. Uh, how about we just keep that to ourselves, m’kay?

So, wish us luck and generous people with large bills.

And It Begins Again

November 6, 2008

Remember when I wrote this?

Turns out I was wrong. It isn’t over. My son’s football team was picked as a wild card entry into the National Championship. Which will take place in Florida next month.

Now begins the frantic fund raising, the renewed practice schedule, and the selling of kidneys to pay for it all. And the way that my son has been eating he will need to sell a kidney to make weight again.

I got all the Christmas toy catalogs in the mail today. The kids have been going through and circling all the things they want.

I hope they have plane tickets and hotel rooms in those Toys R Us catalogs.

Audacity of Hope

November 5, 2008

Did anyone else think that they would wake up this morning and think they had imagined it?

Did anyone else have kids who incredulously asked, “What do you mean there has never been a black man as a president?” A question that these children’s children will never have to ask.

The way our generation incredulously looks back on slavery, suffrage, equal rights.

Did anyone else have a daughter who asked, “What do you mean there hasn’t been a woman president?”

In time, dear, in time.

Thus concludes any and all political posts from me. Until I change my mind.

The Good, the Bad and the Delicious

Back in Chicago again! I am going to miss Chicago when November ends. Also I am going to miss working with these ladies. And having car service. God, how life changing it would be to have someone drive you around everywhere. Like Susan said, it opens up a whole new world of appropriate traveling shoes when you only have to walk from the curb to the gate.

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me: my blackberry lost all its info
and i am trying to recover it

Susan: no way!

me: YES WAY!

Susan: ugh
that really sucks

me: I thought the little card inside saved it all when I transfered it to my new blackberry
but nope

me: yes it sucks so bad i can’t even explain how much it sucks

Susan: i feel the suckitude all the way over here

me: i have no idea what appts i have for the next year
it will be a surprise when i get those reminder phone calls

Susan: LOL
(no not really funny)

me: I also have no phone numbers

Susan: remember when we all had paper calendars?
and address books?

me: yes, I do. The Filofax

Susan: back in the Olden Days

me: why did we switch?
they seem so smart now

Susan: no kidding
i back up my phone every night

me: oh shut up, you do not

Susan: Wade rolls his eyes but if i lose my calendar i am screwed

Susan: i have ISSUES

me: i never ever do
not once
never

Susan: somewhere between us there’s a happy medium

me: LOL
i feel a blog post coming oin…

Susan: excellent!

Susan: please mention that i have ISSUES
in all caps like that

me: will do

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Heather: (xxx) xxx-xxxx
since you lost your numbers

me: THANK YOU
one number down a hundred or so left to go

Heather: is yours still the same?
me: yes

Heather: k
I’m so kind
look what I’ve already done to help you

me: i am hoping to recover everything

Heather: well now you have mine
NOT THAT YOU CALL ME ANYWAY

me: but it is nice to know I CAN if I want to

me: I am now banging my head against the table

Heather: perhaps I’m not all that helpful

me: but I can call you now to bitch
and since i have no other numbers…

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In the end I had to COPY all the numbers and info out of my old Blackberry and then retype them into the new one. I think I am actually a more efficient thumb typer than a regular typer.

Also, I made these toasted pumpkin seeds. Holy crap they are delicious. I had to stop myself from eating ALL of them by myself. And the recipe is infinitely adaptable using whatever spices you like and have on hand.

Scenes From Halloween

November 4, 2008

Yes, most of those costumes probably look familiar. The little kids shop for their costumes in this great store called The Attic.

This costume has been worn every year since it was bought. In 1972. Or maybe it just feels like I have been looking at that long.

We discovered a few years ago that the easiest way to carve a pumpkin is to use a Skill saw. Honestly, if you don’t own one you should go out and buy one solely for your Jack o’ Lantern carving needs. This year the skill saw torch was mostly handed off to my oldest son.

He carved the pumpkins of the little kids to their specifications. He is such a good big brother.

I love how they all did more traditional jack o’lanterns this year.

This is the first year that no one has used the book of pumpkin carving templates, opting instead to do their own.

Miles decided at the last minute that he had to be Mickey Mouse. This is a costume he wore TWO years ago. I believe it is a size 24 months. It was stretched so tight that I could barely get the hood up onto his head. And after trick-or-treating was over he had a dent on his forehead where the elastic was pulled so tightly.

My daughter also picked out a too small costume. You can’t tell in this photo but the legs of the costume ended at her knees like knickers.

This was the first year that I didn’t drag a stroller around the neighborhood. Instead I dragged a three year old. A three year old who acted at times like he was on a forced death march rather than a casual stroll where he received candy every 30 feet. Oh, such torture.

Three-thirty am is not morning

November 2, 2008

That was the time I had to get up yesterday morning in order to catch a flight to Chicago. I wasn’t entirely sure if I should actually go to bed Friday night or just stay awake.

In the end I went to bed and slept for probably an hour before bolting upright at 2:30am panicked that I had overslept. I had not.

Susan and I needed to be in Chicago for work with utterball-Bay on Monday and so we decided to force Melissa to come along and make a weekend out of it. It was also Danielle’s birthday yesterday and we went to her house to celebrate.

Her children are even more adorable in person. And I was tempted to steal Max and bring him home in my suitcase. Until I realized I already have a three year old at home and a second one might kill me. There is only so much that cuteness can make up for.

Taking photos in the mirror is not easy. No, it really isn’t. Not that it stops us.

By the time we got back to our hotel and fell into bed I had been up almost 24 hours and was exhausted. FYI, drinking copious amounts of wine does not help one stay awake either.

Up next, a recap of our visit to the boob lady at Nordstrom’s. Where I asked her if she wanted to look at my boobs and she said no. AWKWARD.