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January 7, 2009
The Quintessential Teenager
I ask him every day if he is holding up that wall. It is his favorite place to hang out.
The baggy jeans WITH RIPS, the Etnies with DIFFERENT COLORED LACES, the oversized sweatshirt… what you can’t see is the bagel in his hand, because the boy can not eat enough carbs. His weight this morning was 150, giving him an almost 25 pound weight gain in the past month. I am not sure that he has stopped eating since we returned from Florida.
The Nerf gun right next to him, ready for him to grab at any moment and shoot one of his unsuspecting siblings. No matter how many times I tell him not to shoot at them. He is in the weird place between childhood and adulthood, vascillating wildly between the two. Even he doesn’t know quite where he belongs.
What you also can’t see is the attitude. With a capital A. And the eye rolling. Dear lord the eyerolling. And honestly? He is one of the good teenagers. I fell lucky to have him. Even if he does like to tell all of us exactly what we are doing wrong at any given moment. But without him? How would we ever know how stupid we are?
Tomorrow we go back to the concussion specialist. Where I hope we get the okay for the boy to start reading and doing schoolwork and doing some damn chores. I fear he is losing brain power faster than we can ever recover it. And I am tired of watching him lying around. I know… pass the mother of the year award over here. But damn, his laziness knows no bounds.
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I am blessed to have one of the good ones, too. He is still a typical teen though. Does anyone not go through that stage?
January 7th, 2009 at 8:03 pmI bet he thinks your joke about the wall is completely hilarious, huh?
At least your teen talks to you. Mine (15) just rolls his eyes and doesn’t even bother to tell me how ridiculous I am.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:09 pmWhen you said “quintessential,” I expected to see… a boy lying (laying?) across the couch so that no one else could sit there. With one hand down the front of his pants. Snoring. With the TV on, really loud, on some show no one else wants to watch. With dirty dishes (perferably dried up Oreos on the bottom of your favorite beer pint glass), on teh table, w/o a coaster, next to him.
Sorry, I guess that’s my house. Your son, though, is adorable, even from the back where you’re only allowed to photograph him!
January 7th, 2009 at 8:11 pmLord - you’ve just given me a serious preview of my boys.
Great picture. Hope the concussion specialist orders many chores…
January 7th, 2009 at 8:14 pmI have a good one too. Only he’s 22 now. So no more eye rolling. But he still corrects my grammar. All of the time.
January 7th, 2009 at 8:29 pmMy son is just nine months old, so my only experience of this is from the crapload of attitude I shoveled out onto my poor mother. If mothering really is about getting even for your own childhood, my son is going to be the KING of eye-rolling and grammar correcting in 13 years or so …
January 7th, 2009 at 8:48 pmMy oldest turned 13 in December. He is getting a little to cool for his britches (you know).
But he is also “a good one” because if he is not I will hurt him
No not really, but I could, seeing as though he is the one that gave me this damn stretch marks!!
I can see the part of life coming that he doesn’t know where he is and what he is suppose to be doing. His feet are too big, his braces are too big and he is just somewhere in the middle.
I know the next step is him growing in to those feet and those teeth and that scares me to no end….
Can I keep him like this forever please???
January 7th, 2009 at 8:53 pmI had to take my son to the pediatrician today and he is also 150lbs. He is none stop with the eating. Anyway, the nurse has a son (21) and after our visit she promised that the attitude problems would disappear but not for a while. One of us isn’t going to make it!
January 7th, 2009 at 8:56 pmGlad he is wearing a TEXAS sweatshirt! I hope this was when the Fiesta Bowl was on! Ahhh teenagers… I still remember what that was like! Hopefully no more concussion stuff!
January 7th, 2009 at 9:59 pmis he wearing his jeans falling way down? and if so, HOW IN GOD’S NAME do these kids keep them up??
yay, texas!!
January 7th, 2009 at 10:28 pmGreat post. My son is only about a year younger than yours and last night he called home and I didn’t recognize his voice. I told the caller (who I perceived to be a man in his early 20s) that he must have the wrong number. Finally I figured out that it was my baby! At the end of the call, in a high and recognizable voice he said “I love you mom.” THAT voice I recognized.
January 7th, 2009 at 10:32 pmOh dear lord, is this what I have to look forward to? And I heard girls have more of an attitude. (I’m very afraid)
January 7th, 2009 at 10:42 pmCan you please mention that you’re up for a weblog award? Your writing, photos, and ideas are all great. I think that your readers would love to vote for you if they only knew you were up for best parenting blog.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:14 pmWait, do you have my son at your house? I could swear that you do by what you said. I always thought we’d escape this with him, as he was the nicest, most considerate, mature kid. Then he turned 12 and it all went out the window, literally overnight. And he’s gaining weight as I type this. I can’t fill him up.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:19 amI’m just glad you’re REAL…not some robot!
January 8th, 2009 at 1:00 amThis could have been a picture of any one of my male students. - The oversized sweatshirt making them look twice as big and the pants falling off their skinny little bums… I don’t understand how they keep the pants from descending to their ankles, but just imagine if we could make our boobs float the same way!
January 8th, 2009 at 1:01 amBut…but…homeschooling was supposed to prevent all that!
Darn.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:52 amI laugh because I still have a good 14-15 years before I’m in your shoes.
You should post before and after carb loading pictures. For posterity.
Love the Texas sweatshirt. ;o)
January 8th, 2009 at 2:17 amI have a few boys that wear that exact same “uniform”. I would have bought stock in etnies had I known how much of my own money I would give that company.
I really hope you get good news from the doc.
Julie
January 8th, 2009 at 7:29 am“his laziness know no bounds.” Do you know how many times I have said that to my 14 yr old?
January 8th, 2009 at 7:53 am14 is a very weird age for them. Half child, half adult.
Love the sweatshirt!!
I have twin girls that are 16 and another 14 yo girl - my house can barely contain the ATTITUDE!!
January 8th, 2009 at 9:30 amI have a girl and I thought I was incredibly lucky when she didn’t get The Attitude at 14-15. Little did I know I just had a late bloomer on my hands. Now, at 17, she’s making up for lost time in double doses.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:54 amMy son was the exact same last year, at age 14. I wanted to sell him to a zoo, terrified that it would only get worse. (Because I was a *perfect* teenager, dontchanknow.)This year, at 15, he is sooo much better. Still a slob, still eats constantly, but for whatever reason, the eyerolling and sneering and superiority have toned way down.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:55 amI’m sure he will re-load on brain cells just as quickly as he re-loaded the poundage.
My daughter is 12 and my son is 11 and I definitely see fore-shadowing of all that you say. The good news is I have a friend with a 15 yr old daughter and a 22 yr old daughter. He said daughter number one came around the bend and suddenly realized he and his wife were NOT the dumbest people on the planet, just in time for daughter number two to reach that stage. So he assures me it will end, and one day your children will spend time with you because they WANT to. Hmmmm, imagine that.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:36 am“But without him? How would we ever know how stupid we are?”
January 8th, 2009 at 10:58 amAmen! Although at our house, it would be “without her” and it is mostly directed at her father, who get’s the, “STOP LOOKING AT ME” scream every time his eyes happen to turn in her direction.
“his laziness know no bounds.” This line is for my oldest, who is lazy like no other, except when it comes to helping his friends, he is the first person they call for help, with anything. So I guess we must take that into consideration.
They are good kids. Repeat as needed.
Everytime my teenager rolls her eyes I ask her if she’s looking for her brain….
January 8th, 2009 at 12:04 pmMe too, Me too, Me too! I could have written that word for word with my teen.(except for the concussion part…knock wood!)
January 8th, 2009 at 1:04 pmHe is a great kid, yet he is driving my husband and I CRAZY!!! For no apparant reason other than he is 14 and must feel that it is his job!
My boy wears the same thing, including the Etnies with the different colored laces! He’s eating non stop too, but I’m a little concerned, because he’s only 116 lbs and 5′7″ tall. He’s a good kid too, but I’m looking forward to he day when he stops treating everyone in the house like we’re all stupid idiots.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:17 pmHmmm - if my future children turn out to be anything like me as a teenager I may as well just get a dog instead now!
Just kidding, of course. Kind of. 
January 8th, 2009 at 3:31 pmThat is one of my favorite photos so far. It’s easy to get great personality shots out of little kids, but teenagers? Where they look natural and you just capture the essence of Them? Not so much.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:14 pmI’m fourteen, and let me just say that eye-rolling is also my favorite past time. And the SWEATERS. Why should we ever wear anything else? And the NERF guns. Endless fun, that. Although my parents will never forgive me for going all sniper on my brother with those foam bullets while he was eating his cereal.
January 10th, 2009 at 6:15 amWell at least I see in the elevator post above that he’s capable of smiling while in your presence.
January 12th, 2009 at 1:38 pm