And Now You Are Six
April 25, 2009
Every morning I stand behind you in the bathroom brushing your hair. Ever since we moved to this house you like to stand there and look at yourself in the mirror while I do your hair. The mirrors here go all the way down to the countertop in the bathroom, very unlike the small medicine cabinet mirrors we had at our old house. You couldn’t see yourself in those unless you climbed on top of the sink, something I generally frowned upon. You would go and look at yourself in the shiny brass doorknobs, which apparently are much more forgiving than a real mirror.
And now that you can see yourself in an actual mirror you suddenly have ideas about how your hair should be fixed. Ideas which can not be replicated and somehow are not even possible in this world, what with gravity and all. And if I have to say one more time that the Disney princesses are cartoons and not real people with actual real life hair subject to the laws of physics, well, I might just scream.
(Sometimes even the happiest place on earth just doesn’t do it for you.)
And so we stand there and I brush your hair, bathing in your scowls and disappointment. I know this is just a taste of what is to come. Except one day they will be real disappointments. Real ways that I have let you down. I hope with all my heart that you will remember that I never once whacked you on the back of the head with the hairbrush, even though most some days I am so tempted. That should give me some points, right?
Every day I see the small scar on the top of your head. A reminder of the last brief moment of time when we were one. It is the spot where an electrode was threaded up through my vagina, through my cervix, and then screwed into the top of your head. When the doctor did this it felt as though he was trying to reach my thorax, which sounds much more pleasant than it actually was.They did this to better monitor your heartbeat which kept disappearing from the traditional band around the belly monitor.
It was a long tough labor. Don’t think I won’t be bringing that up one day. Some mothers say, “I was in labor x number of hours with you,” to guilt their children into doing something. I can top that. The highlight of my labor with you was having the doctor treat me like a hand puppet while trying to turn you. You were stubbornly stuck upside down. It was horrible. Even now remembering the experience I tightly clamp my legs together and shudder.
Then they made me have an epidural in the hopes that given time, presumably without me writhing in pain and shouting at everyone, you would turn on your own. Something went wrong with the epidural and I couldn’t breathe. Or more accurately it FELT like I couldn’t breathe, according to the nurses, my lungs were working and providing me with oxygen. I just couldn’t tell that I was breathing. But I am here to tell you that it FEELS LIKE THE SAME DAMN THING.
And later on I wondered if I was breathing okay what was up with the alarms and nurses running into the room? And the oxygen mask, was that just a placebo? And having the anesthesiologist come running down the hallway and almost knock your father over in the hallway was a nice added touch, one that in no way said this could be serious.
But like everything else, time eases the edges of the memory. And while I remember that during your labor I thought I might die, now I can laugh and think I had a touch of the melodrama. Because you are here now and healthy and perfect, and to use that tired old cliche, you were worth it.
Except for the part about being a hand puppet, I’ll have to wait for your teen years to decide about that.
I can hardly remember you as a tiny helpless baby. You have grown into a lanky, capable girl. You make friends easily and are just as comfortable shooting hoops with the neighbor boys as you are playing dress-up and giggling with the girls.
You have learned to do lots of things this year: Ride a bike, ride a horse, blow a bubble with bubble gum, read and write. One disappointment you have is still being forced to sit in a 5pt harness carseat by your mean, terribly mean, mother. How dare I want to keep you safe? Maybe this year you will finally hit 40 pounds. Only 6 more pounds to go… perhaps if you try eating actual food instead of the photosynthesizing you do now?
Really, at this point I am just hoping you don’t need to ride in a carseat your highschool prom.
Happy Birthday. You are still my sunshine.
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Happy Birthday to your Princess! I hope she has a wonderful birthday and a fun party!
It took my daughter forever-and-a-half to weigh enough to graduate to a regular booster seat.
April 25th, 2009 at 11:23 amLove the video! I went from thinking, “Aw, how cute,” to guffawing bellylaugh at the finale.
Happy birthday! Six is a very cool age to be.
*la la la - I can’t hear birth stories… still trying to forget my two*
April 25th, 2009 at 11:49 amHappy 6th sweet, sweet girl!! Ihope your day was magical.
Chris, I bet it is not Disney Princess hair she is thinking of….it is Texas, Big Hahr. She must be observing Big Hahr in its natural setting and is feeling the magical pull of it.
April 25th, 2009 at 11:53 amHow cute is that video!!!! AND your daughter is a beautiful little girl. Happy Birthday to her!!!
April 25th, 2009 at 11:57 amSweet, sweet, sweet.
BTW my 2 year old son weighs more than your daughter. And he expects to be CARRIED.
Just sayin’.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:06 pmI may never be able to play with puppets again… She is adorable, funny, and well-rounded. What more could a mom want for her daughter?
April 25th, 2009 at 12:08 pmShe is so beautiful and obviously incredibly special. I am the only girl of 5 kids and reading about your daughter always brings back those childhood memories of my brothers. The laobr story was like reading my own. My son wears his hair very short. That leaves his scar from the monitor visible to me at all times. Just a little reminder that I can push a watermelon out of my body. Go me!
April 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pmOnce again Chris, you’ve made me cry. I only wish my own mother felt the same way about me. I truly believe that she wishes she left me under the rock where she says she found me.
Happy Birthday to your Forever Princess.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:14 pmThanks for sharing. My little girl will be 6 in August. 5 was an amazing year.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:27 pmOMG I would save that top pic to show the man she intends to marry one day. Just so he’s prepared. Lol!
April 25th, 2009 at 12:53 pmI’m sorry. I know she’s your sunshine but I had to scroll ahead to the Happy Birthday - turning 3 not 40, no need to cry video. LOVE THAT ONE!!! Happy Bday to your girl.
April 25th, 2009 at 1:05 pmYou made me cry~
I love your stories.. I love your little girl..all the pics..all your boys..:)
My girls are 33 and 31..with darling children of their own..But they are still my little girls to me..and your memories are as vivid as mine still are of watching my beautiful daughters grow up to become such wonderful caring capable loving poeple.
April 25th, 2009 at 1:17 pmI think that’s what I like best of visiting your blog..It’s travel.. Back in time.. for me.
Thank you.
And Happy Birthday to your sweetie:)
Awwwwwww! Happy 6th birthday to your beauty. Hope she had a great one.
April 25th, 2009 at 1:47 pmHappy Birthday to your sweet Princess! My princess just turned 6 last month, such a fun age. Has she watched the movie, A Little Princess? Funny enough, it is one of my husband’s favorite movies, and we watch it with our daughter once in a while. Loved the video, so cute!
April 25th, 2009 at 1:55 pmHappy Birthday to your beautiful girl. Love the video. She has oodles of personality!
April 25th, 2009 at 2:50 pmHappiest Birthday to your dear, multifaceted, daughter! She is so fortunate to have you as her mama, as your writing shares with us - you are, to have her as your sweet princess.
April 25th, 2009 at 4:00 pm*lol* the part where she shouts in the video made me laugh very loudly… great post
April 25th, 2009 at 4:57 pmHappy birthday little one, and I love this post, its so sad and happy at the same time when our cherubs grow up! And I understand the mirror thing!
April 25th, 2009 at 7:54 pmI started reading your blog just a few months before you posted that video the first time. I can’t believe it’s been three years!
April 25th, 2009 at 8:41 pmThe biggest “hair” mistake I ever made was giving my daughter a “braid” book. Not a good idea. We often braid hair for sleeping to avoid morning tangle tears. Her favorite is when I put in 6 to 8 braids, wet, before bedtime. It dries overnight and we unbraid and finger style in the morning. (brushing frizzes)
That cranky princess has some seriously tired eyes.
April 25th, 2009 at 8:42 pmOnce they are six they no longer have to ride in the booster - unless the law is changed to 8 or 80 pounds like the state legislature is deliberating
Chris says: She hasn’t even moved into the booster yet. Still in the carseat. And I figure if she is still too small for a booster seat, she is too small to ride with just the seatbelt.
April 25th, 2009 at 9:59 pmIf it makes you feel any better, legally, my ELEVEN YEAR OLD SON should still be in a carseat. Two pounds to go.
Happy Birthday to her!!
April 25th, 2009 at 11:04 pmI wish I there had been video cameras when my kids were little. I love your pictures and stories. This one reminds me so much of my little, long haired daughter. Oh how I wanted to bop her with the brush sometimes, but I always wound up remembering my sainted mother who had two little girls at once with long hair, talk about a bad scene. Can you imagine two whiney girls with tangled hair. My mother looked back on it with delight, as I do with my daughter and you will with yours. I hope you are saving these blogs on a DVD for them to read later in life. Happy Birthday little sweetheart.
April 25th, 2009 at 11:39 pmHappy Birthday! Wow I can not believe she is already 6. Time sure does fly!
April 26th, 2009 at 12:25 am6 already? Wow! I remember that birthday video, but didn’t realize it was already was a few years ago! Happy Birthday!
April 26th, 2009 at 1:13 amMy to-be 6yr old daughter also thinks I am the worst mother in the world for not letting her into a booster seat. It’s made worse by the fact that her 4yr old brother, who weighs a good 2-3kgs more than her, IS in one. Bad, bad mother for wanting to keep her safe. And I remember that video! Jeez, time flies! Happy 6th Birthday!
April 26th, 2009 at 1:18 amHow cute is she? Happy Birthday! By the way, I also have a 34 lb 6 1/2 year old who is still subjected to the indignities of a car seat. Poor children…
April 26th, 2009 at 2:25 amoh man… my almost 4 year old is still at 32 lbs.. I’m guessing she will be 6 and still in a 5 pt harness, but I’m all for whatever keeps her safest…
I think your daughter and my daughter photosynthesize the same foods!
April 26th, 2009 at 3:32 amI was glad it was a happy video at the end - at first I was afraid you dug up that one where she cries horribly when the candles get blown out!
April 26th, 2009 at 7:07 amHappy Birthday!! She gets more gorgeous every year!
Now I am wondering if I can find a scar on top of one of my kid’s head from that electrode, except, for the life of me, I can’t remember which kid had that. So I will have to check them all.
April 26th, 2009 at 12:33 pmHappy birthday! If it makes you (& her) feel better, my 7 year old rode in a 5 point until his 7th birthday. He was 56 lbs when I took him out (Graco Nautilus goes to 65 lbs), as he proved he was mature enough to sit still 100% of the time.
April 26th, 2009 at 4:52 pmAlso, my 7 year old rides in a high back booster. (Forgot to add that)
April 26th, 2009 at 4:54 pmwhy is it..that your labor story sounds very very similar to mine. and my legs are clutched closed also. my old sat in a car seat till she was eight. she still didn’t weigh enough, but i knew the police man would NEVER think she was not old enough. but my two younger girls…they still ride five point harnessed and all. they are seven and five.
April 26th, 2009 at 5:08 pmhappy birthday
daughter!
xoxo
ronee
Happy Birthday sweetie
April 26th, 2009 at 9:07 pmGreat pics. She is so expressive.
I’m a car seat Nazi, but I’m almost 100% certain that the majority of boosters are for kids 30 lbs and up. 40 is for taking off the high back part of the booster. I just read up on this, as my 36 pound 6.5 year old is counting down the days, and the pounds….
April 27th, 2009 at 12:05 amhappy birthday to the sweetheart
April 27th, 2009 at 10:30 amWow, SIX! She’s so lovely. I cannot believe you had another child after that labor. I was with you, WITH YOU, when you were talking about the feeling that you couldn’t breathe and I felt like I couldn’t breathe TOO! (Shudders.)
April 27th, 2009 at 12:50 pmHappy Birthday to your little princess!
Ouch on the delivery story. And you still went on to have one more. Extremely brave I tell you!
April 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pmHappy birthday to your girl! (And my sympathies for having such a long, hard labor to bring her into the world.)
April 27th, 2009 at 3:27 pmHappy Bday!!!! When i had my son,I had to have that electrode thingie too!!! My son has a bald spot on his head to prove it!!!! I wish they would have told me at the time that would happen.Luckily I never had to be tortured like that again with my other pregnancies!!!!
April 27th, 2009 at 5:07 pmMy favorite part: “Sometimes even the happiest place on earth just doesn’t do it for you.” amen to that!
April 27th, 2009 at 5:29 pmMy younger sister had to go to 5th grade in a high back booster seat. Seriously, 5th grade. She ate a lot of ice cream that summer, cause no way in Hades was she going to middle school in a carseat!
April 27th, 2009 at 10:44 pmI love those monkey bar pictures!
You made my eyes well up with tears. My son has two small scars on his head from the episiotomy I had. His hair is kept short (because he doesn’t want to take care of it) and it is noticeable. I used to not like those scars, until now. We too have a reminder that we were once one. Thanks for the perspective.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:25 pmI love the princess picture! My girls are almost six; they remind me every day, too. Happy Birthday to your delightful princess, and thanks for sharing your mommy-thoughts about the occasion.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:55 pmThe Disney-pout photo is priceless, it’s one ofr the 21st party for sure. Loved the viedo, what a great kid!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:01 am