Little Ways I Fail
May 1, 2009
1) My son lost a tooth over a week ago and has had it under his pillow every night since. I cannot seem to remember to play tooth fairy. This morning he woke up and stood next to me with his arms crossed, “Should I just give you the tooth?” Ouch, stab me right in the heart.
I said no and made up some bullshit excuse about the tooth fairy being really busy. And threw in “Maybe if you went to sleep before midnight the tooth fairy would come.” Because clearly it is not all my fault, right? Right?
2) I frequently forget to wash my sons’ baseball uniforms and make them wear them dirty. Should I be expected top wash them every night? The other day I remembered to wash my son’s baseball uniform, but forgot to put it in the dryer. He had no other choice but to wear it damp. When he complained I told him that it was hot enough outside that his uniform should dry quickly once he had it on. And if that wasn’t acceptable he could go to the game only in his cup and cleats. Not surprisingly he opted to wear the damp uniform.
Also, I am not above squirting their dirty uniforms with Febreeze. While they are wearing them. But shhhhh, don’t tell anyone.
3) My 10 yr old has been wearing a pair of teva sandals that are too small. I thought he was just wearing them because he was too lazy to tie his sneakers. This morning when I told him he had to wear his sneakers he became all irate because he said his sneakers are too small. Somehow I have failed at perfecting my mind reading skills. I brought him to the shoe store and it turned out that his shoes were a full size and a half too small. Ummm, ooops.
4) I never can seem to get a handle on matching up the socks after they go through the wash. The older kids all have only athletic type socks, white or black, and they are easy for them to find mates. My 4 and 6 year olds, on the other hand, still have cute socks. I have convinced them that it is cool to wear mismatched socks because when we are trying to get out of the house I usually do not have time to search through a laundry basket of a hundred different socks to find two mates.
Now when they go to the big laundry basket of socks they will pull out two different socks and scream, “It is CRAZY SOCK DAY!”
Miles tried to start CRAZY SHOE DAY, but I decided I had to draw the line somewhere.
5) I buy candy and hide it. And then I eat all by myself. Usually while hiding in the pantry. I don’t let them eat it because it is bad for their teeth and their health. At least that is what I say.
So make me feel better, tell me one of your dirty little parenting secrets. How do you fail?
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I don’t have kids, but how about dirty little single girl secrets?
May 1st, 2009 at 4:41 pm1. I often leave the dishes/pots/pans/kitchen dirty after dinner and do them in the morning or next evening. Because once I’ve eaten, I just don’t care anymore.
2. I regularly pull work clothes out of the laundry hamper, spray them w/Febreeze and call it a day.
3. I have no shame in drinking in bed while watching tv on my computer, instead of doing anything productive after work.
I hide Munchins. I’ll leave a few in the bag and put it in my purse and tell them they are gone (and eat them when they aren’t looking). Like you said, they aren’t good for them anyways.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:42 pmI buy those disgusting/delicious oreo cakesters at the store and on the way home, eat them with my head turned towards the window so the backseat can’t see what I’m doing.
I turn on the TV at my baby’s naptime so my toddler will sit still and be quiet enough not to wake the baby. And then I read blogs or waste time on facebook when I could be playing or cleaning or something else productive.
I tell my daughter that if she wants to do play-doh she needs to wait until her dad gets home so he can help her work the awful octopus press machine thing that drives me absolutely crazy. Because mama doesn’t know how to work it.
It really sucks to see these written down, huh? I think I love you for writing your own. Good work.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:42 pmI took my child to the mall to buy shoes when she “outgrew” her old pair.
They measured her foot and when they told me the size I said well that is what she is wearing.
They pulled the insole out of her shoe and proceded to dump half of the sand from the school playground into the garbage can. I am not sure my face has ever been more red in my life.
We grabbed the old shoes and scooted right out the door.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:46 pmMy fourteen year old daughter cooks dinner more often than I do. She loves to cook. That is my excuse and I’m sticking to it.
My nine year old daughter hates to bathe. Unless she is so filthy I can see it from across the room or I can smell her, I leave well enough alone. It is not rare for her to have just one bath a week.
Ditto hair brushing. She hates it. Twice now, I have had to cut dreadlocks out of her hair.
Last night my eleven year old had to borrow a pair of my pajama bottoms, and tied off the waist with a hair tie to make them stay up. This was because I was so behind on laundry that she was out of both pajamas and underwear (I did, however, have clean underwear ready for her when she got up this morning).
T have been a negligent tooth fairy more times than I can count.
They are not beaten or otherwise abused, usually talked to very respectfully and lovingly, hugged and kissed regularly, and there is always plenty of food in the house. I figure they have it better than many, and a little benign neglect won’t kill them.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:51 pm1) the other day my 1 year old peed in the tub. I didn’t make him get out, it just seemed like too much work. I just sort of told myself if this was 1803, he’d be bathing in a lake with fish pee anyway.
2.I tell my son that the PRIA 110 calorie bars that taste like Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, are only for girls.
3. I melted a hole in my son’s soccer jersey while trying to iron on patches. I made him wear it anyway with a shirt underneath. Now he has a whole in his shirt and will die of heat stroke too.
4. I let my 1 year old eat off the floor.
5. The easter bunny only brings candy that mom likes too.
May 1st, 2009 at 4:55 pmI don’t think this box is big enough, but I’ll give it a go!
1. I do the Febreze spray thing. Trick don’t use too much.
2. I spray damp shirts with Febreze before ironing — I know, I know ironing but I offered to do it to save money at dry cleaners. I do 10 at a time while watching a movie.
3. I throw out odd socks if I can’t find the matching pair. I often find odd sock in the kids draweres as my kids like to dress and undress and tross one sock in drawer and one in hamper. Grrr
4. I’m a poor cook. I burned boil in a bag rice and attmepted to separate rice and plastic and burnt bits…but came to my sense and dumped the whole thing. I think I might have a screw loose.
5. I’ve done the hang the shirt out the window on the way to the volleyball tournament. It is still damp but not as much?!?
6. I assign the kids the cleaning of their bathroom and then don’t feel bad about them not cleaning.
7. The shoe thing — I have one daughter who will insist a shoe fits. I have to actually place my fingers on the toe of her shoe to check it. She likes her shoes too much.
8. I think I may turn this in to a post.
Check back and see what I added. I’m inspired!
May 1st, 2009 at 4:59 pmMy son is not yet three, and he is addicted to video games. I read blogs while he plays. I am awesome.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:02 pmFirst of all…thanks for sharing this and starting this discussion. I like it when moms admit their shortcomings…it helps relieve the pressure to “be perfect”.
I really have too many parental shortcomings to list, but the one that comes to mind first is dinner time. Sometimes at the end of the day, I am too tired to plead/argue/nag at my kids to eat good things and I give in and let them have peanut butter sandwiches or string cheese and fruit and call that dinner. No wonder they don’t eat vegetables!!
May 1st, 2009 at 5:03 pmThe tooth fairy recently leaves $$$ in other places…. shoes before they get put on for school…. backpacks…. etc…. {places the tooth fairy can travel before her first cup of coffee… places that havent been checked yet in the A.M.} Boy do I feel bad when I am running like a zombie scrounging for $$$ to hide somewhere the kids aren’t. It is comforting to know that I am not alone:) Love your blog and the smile it gives me:)
May 1st, 2009 at 5:04 pmI’m right there with you, all of it…including the Febreeze and Crazy Sock Day. My #5 is that I bring the junk food to work, my co-workers think I have the worst diet.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:07 pmNow all the kids are teenagers (17, 16, 16 and 13)and staying up late, sometimes I say goodnight leaving them to their own devices and sometimes I forget and just fall asleep, they tip-toe into my room and say goodnight to me in the dark.
I am guilty of EVERYTHING you mentioned above! and was feeling really guilty about that since I only have 2 kids, but realized that working outside of the home is an excellent fallback
May 1st, 2009 at 5:07 pmI certainly don’t have ANY dirty parenting secrets. But. If I did. It would be #5. But I don’t. So let’s never talk of this again. Kthanx.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:18 pmI am a bit relieved that my baby was still bald on her first birthday. I have a terrible time remembering to brush her two older sisters’ hair before leaving the house, so it was one less thing to worry about.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:20 pmMy 5 year old is still wearing his first underwear from when he moved out of diapers/pull-ups. Well, the ones that haven’t fallen apart yet. It’s not my fault his little tush hasn’t grown enough to warrant tossing them out! And, we can’t get him to stay dry at night for anything, so he’s almost 5 1/2 and still wears a pull-up at night.
I eat the kids’ holiday candy, too. They don’t need all of it, right?!
May 1st, 2009 at 5:29 pmWhen my girls were really little (I had all 4 in 5 years) and the house would get to be a big mess… I’d use a leaf rake to get everything into the middle of the room to clean it up. It was great for getting things from under the dressers, desks and beds. Then I’d plop on the floor to sort with a laundry basket for dirty clothes, one for toys and a trash bag for everything else. Frequently they’d each end up full from one room.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:41 pmWe never put teeth under our pillows; they always went in a cup on the windowsill over the kitchen sink. That way, mom or dad would notice it and remember. Maybe you could start a new tradition…have them put their teeth on YOUR pillow.
And if your boys are unimpressed with damp uniforms, maybe you could introduce them to the laundry room and put ‘em to work.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:44 pmi share numbers 1,2,4 and 5 with you
May 1st, 2009 at 5:45 pmI have forgotten to be the tooth fairy more times than I care to recall. This results in my husband distracting the toothless child while I deliver money and act like it was there all along.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:46 pmJust this morning the 7 year old wore a dirty school shirt to school because…I had some wine last night and fell asleep.
I am trying to break the yelling habit. In my defense, I am one of 12 and know of no other way to communicate. It’s getting better.
I am so tired of menu planning. This week has been all about last minute or grab what you can find meals. Luckily, the kids saw this as “cool”.
I always forget the water or the cooler at soccer tournaments. This usually ends up costing me about $20.00 per game at the concession stand. Let’s see…4 kids playing soccer, 2 or 3 games per Saturday/Sunday…ouch.
Forgot to mention we live in the South.
Thank God they are so forgiving.
Oh, Chris, you are a parent after my own heart. Thanks for showing your “real” realities! To help you not feel lonely, I’ll throw mine in:
Sometimes at night when I am the sole parent, if my kids argue about brushing their teeth, I’ll let them go to bed without brushing. (Horrors!)
I’ve been known to serve that neon macaroni and cheese from a box several times a week when my husband is out of town because I know it’s something everyone (except me) will eat.
I have told my sons (who can’t figure out that their floor is not a laundry basket) that they’ll have to either go sockless, wear dirty socks, or turn their dirty socks inside out if they’re out of socks. They have done all three.
I hide chocolate from everyone in my family and I’m not divulgin’ where–not even on here!!
Ahhh…much better.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:46 pmWhen I’ve really had it I tell them to go play in traffic.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:55 pmThis week I didn’t get my son’s jeans washed so I threw a dirty pair in the dryer with a Bounce sheet and called it good.
May 1st, 2009 at 5:56 pmAll I can say is that one day my children are gong to get married and their spouses are gong to fold up there socks and put them in a drawer and my children are going to freak out and ask them what they are doing. Clearly socks are to be stored in a basket and then you get to play the Find-a-Pair game every day? Isn’t that how everyone does it?
*sigh*
Also, my kids just bring me the tooth and I dig the $ out of my wallet. It’s a sad, sad thing.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:00 pmSuch a good post! We all do those things and no one is a perfect parent. I love this post because it makes everyone not feel so guilty! I love your honesty the most of all. I use to tell my daughter I would take her to the store and I wanted to take her but it was closed. I was so mad that store was not opened when we wanted to go there!!!! It was a 24 hour store. Always had stashes of junk food hidden and still do.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:02 pmi forgot about team picture day and my oldest showed up for practice in, well, practice clothes. he watched all his friends / teammates pose for the pictures and he just stood there scooting his soccer ball around with his toes.
then there was the time i locked my youngest in the car… http://griggboys.blogspot.com/2009/03/rtt-self-deprecation.html
May 1st, 2009 at 6:02 pmI consider a Venti sized hot chocolate from Starbucks “breakfast”, and seldom have anything else to eat before going to work. I work the afternoon shift.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:06 pmI have two teens and a six year-old. Sometimes I just do not feel like doing six year-old stuff, such as playing Candyland or Littlest Pet Shop. I feel like, “been there, done that, don’t want to do it again.” I tell her I don’t want to. I make her sister play with her. Then I have a glass of wine. It was hard going from adolescent back to toddler. Tooth fairy? Easter Bunny? I’m so over that stuff. But I do it. Santa is easier. She gets lots of hugs and kisses and probably gets away with murder. And lots of TV. But sometimes I just don’t have the energy. And I feel guilty.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:09 pmOur tooth fairy had the brilliant idea of leaving small gifts instead of money. Only, for some reason, the tooth fairy quite often forgot to have said small gifts around at the right time even though the horrid child had been doing the “look how wobbly it is NOW!” thing for days and days. Which meant my children got many, many little tiny notes from the tooth fairy explaining how there had been a rugby match the night before… or a young elephant had been teething or… yah, I had time to write the dang notes but not go get a silly yo-yo!
My eldest STILL doesn’t have her drivers’s license and is now getting lessons from a friend as I don’t take it out. Ever. Don’t ask about its siblings either.
I watch my male child pack three things of horrible, salt-filled, nutritionally empty cup-o-noodles for lunch and all I say is, “you’re not taking a good spoon with you, are you?”
Sigh. And the many, many other things. Every day.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:09 pmI bought beer with my child’s First Communion money.
We were broke and on our way to a barbeque and realized we didn’t have any beer. We didn’t want to show up empty handed. So we asked the eight year old for the ten bucks she had just gotten from grandma.
She still tells this story. She is 15. She needs to get over. I’m sure it didn’t take me longer than a year to pay her back.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:15 pmI thank you for making your list. I can put my own name right there next to yours on more than one. It’s good to know we are on the same page with this mothering thing.
I often tell my boys (when one of them runs out of underware), “Get a pair out of your brother’s drawer.” It seems like a no-brainer to me, but I must confess, I would never wear my sister’s underware!
May 1st, 2009 at 6:17 pmI will occassionally (read: most every week) buy a bag of chips for me and one for the house. I then sneak it into my room because otherwise, the entire bag is finished off in 10 minutes.
I looked in my hiding spot the other day, and found two bags of chips, a box of cookies and half a box of Nerds candies. Apparently I’m 2 years old and have a healthy junk food addiction.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:17 pmI won’t let my kids lick cookie batter, brownie batter or cake batter because of the raw eggs. Instead, I shoo them out of the kitchen, then hide and lick the bowl myself. If someone in this house is going to get sallmonella, it’s going to be the one person who isn’t ever allowed to get sick.
When one of my kids throws up on their bed in the middle of the night, I just throw a towel over it and tell them to go back to sleep.
I frequently let them skip baths. I try not to go more than 2 nights without one, but it does happen. It’s saving water, right?
When my 2 year old is running away from me, I tell her I have a caterpillar in my hand. When she runs back to see it, I tell her I dropped it and then grab onto her before she can take off again.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:30 pmI’m with Jane - children thrive on benign neglect. No law says that everything must be prepared, put to order or arranged to a T for your children. Life is never perfect, so why make children used to matched socks, shoes that fit, meals appearing on time and all those other things we make ourselves feel guily about???
May 1st, 2009 at 6:31 pm*guilty
May 1st, 2009 at 6:32 pmWell, I just lived the tooth fairy thing last night…luckily the 10 yr old knows I’m full of it and just rolls her eyes when I tell her it’s busy for the poor tooth fairy and she will get her money as soon as the load lightens up. Last week it was the 8 yr old and I had to pull the ‘busy time of year’ story since I am just so lame. He was sad the fairy didn’t come and I felt really bad. I am thrilled I am not the only one since only this morning I was starting to think it must be senility setting in…or after so many teeth from three kids, I am just so less inspired to get my tooth fairy game on and get in done right. sigh!
May 1st, 2009 at 6:45 pmI am right there with you on #1 and #2. Especially #2 - but you have every right to be forgiven because you have what, like, 27 different baseball uniforms to keep up with? So yeah, you’re excused.
My husband has asthma and is allergic to our cats. Instead of actually cleaning the floors or dusting in our bedroom, I will wait until the dust balls pile up so big that they’re easily mistaken for rodents, and then pick them up and toss them in the garbage rather than actually grab the swiffer.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:46 pmTHANK GOD!!! Someone is living my EXACT same life…it somehow makes me feel less of a failure!
May 1st, 2009 at 6:53 pmWait, is #5 abnormal? I thought everyone did that?
I let my son play in his (older) sister’s room while she’s at school. It keeps him occupied, but my daughter would flip out if she knew I opened up the (literal) gate, letting her brother into her room.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:56 pmP.S. The toothfairy is only coming for the 1st tooth when it comes time with our baby…$25…call it a day. I have failed too many times with the others.
May 1st, 2009 at 6:56 pmI’m not a mom yet but it’s great to read this and know you don’t have to be perfect to be a mom. Looks like the love in your family is more than enough to cover for a damp uniform now and again!
May 1st, 2009 at 7:01 pmUsually by the middle of the week I overpack the lunchboxes so I can skip the next day. I do put it in the refrigerator overnight.
Our tooth fairy is often ” on vacation”.
I know I am bragging when I can wear the same pants for three days in a row because they are “still clean”.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:05 pmSome of these replies had me in hysterics! So glad I am not alone. I am always sneaking food when the kids are hopefully busy. I get very angry when they dare to come in the kitchen when I am trying to get away with eating a secret cookie.
I also dope my kids up with the appropriate medication and take them out when they are sick. Shhhhhhh. Just today my boy with 102.5 fever came to Costco. What can you do when the house is empty of food and you have four hungry kids and dad’s at work? The other three were at school, so no-he-doesn’t-have-swine-flu-boy came to the store with me. He had plenty of Tylenol in his system. I bought him a lollipop for being a good sport. Aren’t I nice?
May 1st, 2009 at 7:07 pmThere are way to many to list but one is that I sneak chocolate and when my kids ask what I am eating I say carrots.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:13 pmMy husband is in the Army and left last October. (We’ll be back together at the end of May! Yay!) We have a four year old son, a 3-month old daughter, and I teach high school science full-time.
I’d be embarrassed if anyone knew how often we eat dinner in front of the TV or my son eats in his room.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:21 pmOh, there are so many.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:25 pmMy then 7yo had strep for over a week before I realized I should take her to the doctor. Both girls get walking pneumonia once or twice a winter each and I still manage to miss it half the time.
They watch more tv than is healthy. I only clean bathrooms when we have company over-and we don’t entertain too often. There are at least 5 laundry baskets full of clean clothes in our bedroom… I either have to buy more baskets or (gasp) actually put away clothes.
Speaking of guests, oldest girl’s bday party is tomorrow and I really should be cleaning bathrooms now, but here I sit, replying to a blog.
Found out my son needed glasses in 3rd grade when he flunked the eye test at school. On the day we went to pick up his glasses, all the way home in the car he read all the street signs, names of stores, license plates, etc. Finally he said “WOW! DOES EVERYBODY SEE LIKE THIS???”
Ow.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:28 pmI once promised to get my friend’s child off the bus and then promptly forgot. Of course it was raining and he was six years old… Went home and stood crying in the driveway in the rain until we remembered and got there.
I often bribe my kids with candy to get them to do what “normal kids” do as regular chores.
I like to lie on the couch and read my book after the kids get home from school and use the excuse that “they need unstructured play time” to justify my indulgence.
Great topic/post!
May 1st, 2009 at 7:29 pmLOL! I just love this!
May 1st, 2009 at 7:31 pmUmmm…my kids are six and almost nine and I think that we do good to remember to get them in the bath once a week. Twice a week is a treat!
I often hear, “Moooom! Do I have any underwear?” from my son because he doesn’t have nearly as many pair as my daughter does and I get really behind on the laundry.
I hate folding laundry, so MANY times there will be a basket of clean laundry in the floor of their rooms and they just pull their stuff out of there…wrinkles and all! (I often answer the underwear question with, “Check the basket on your floor/in the livingroom!”)
1. yes
2. frequently
3. yes
4. hmmm… don’t think so but it sounds fine to me. By the way, it must be a thing around here because I see crazy shoe day all the time - especially with crocs.
5. of course
We need more baseball posts. How did Miles enjoy his first real team so he wouldn’t have to make one up?
May 1st, 2009 at 7:38 pmI haven’t put my kid’s clothes in their dressers in years. They each have a laundry basket in the laundry room that their clean clothes get put in. I often leave my four year old in him pajamas when we drive up to the school to pick up his brother from kindergarten at 11 am. I make my six year old and four year old have quiet time after lunch just so I can get on the internet. I buy gourmet cookies and hide them and don’t share with anyone, not even my husband. When my four year old wakes me up in the middle of the night I turn on cartoons and go back to bed.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:39 pmI’m confused. Don’t you have enough little helpers in your house to match the socks for you? Isn’t that one of the perks/duties of parenting, to have the kids help with chores?
May 1st, 2009 at 7:44 pm1- I have three kids and socks are my arch nemesis, even with the color coding on the heel, pairs always elude me. I have sent my oldest who is 9 to school so many times without socks on, that I constantly wonder when someone at the school is going to call me on it. I give you a lot of credit to match up 9 peoples socks. I would go insane.
2- I have “pick your own pyjama night!” on a regular basis. For the kids it means sleeping in tutus and bathing suits, whatever they choose, they get to wear, and they love it. For me? It means I am so far behind on laundry and cannot bear the thought of entering my laundry room.
3- I leave every single piece of cutlery in our house in the dishwasher, load after load, until we have no more clean in the drawer. Not really a parenting issue until someone needs to eat.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:57 pmWe just have a “sock bucket” at our house - a laundry basket where I leave my husband’s and my three sons’ socks when they come out of the laundry. Life is too short to sort socks.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:58 pmThere are just so many. I’ve spent so much time in the mcDonald’s drive thru lately they know me and my kids by name.
I have an IV port of applejuice in each boy’s arm, that way I don’t have to fix fresh sippy cups all the time.
Speaking of sippy cups, they’ll often find old apple juice in a cup somewhere, like under the couch, and I let them drink it. Because waste not, want not, right?
May 1st, 2009 at 7:58 pmYou’re entitled to some short cuts with all you’ve got going on! I had the same tooth fairy experience a few years ago with kid #2 and finally fessed up one morning after a few days. I told him he could grab a dollar from my purse and I thought that would be the end of it. The look on his face was pure disbelief. The next words out of his mouth were “I suppose you’re santa too?!”. Oops.
May 1st, 2009 at 8:00 pmMeh, I figure that no matter what I do there’s always therapy later so that takes a little of the pressure to be perfect off.
However I do limit them to 2 pieces at a time and when they’re in bed I eat however darn much I want. Eventually I end up throwing most of it away.
I despise the pack rattiness that both my girls have so about once a week I go in their rooms and throw a few things away and then play dumb when they can’t find whatever happy meal toy or scrap of paper they’re looking for.
My 10 year old daughter has a pretty high pain threshold and often doesn’t run a fever even when she’s really sick, so when she complained two days in a row that her ears hurt I took her to the doctor only to find out that she had a MAJOR double ear infection and the nurse practitioners non verbal cues suggested I should be watching out for CPS.
This mothering thing is sometimes so intense, I sort of wish some days I could have another epidural.
May 1st, 2009 at 8:13 pmHow many would you like?? Let’s see….I work full-time outside the home, so when I get home at night I’m tired and I make a lot of FAST meals - lots of tuna helper and sloppy joes from a can, etc., etc. I try to make up for it on weekends with decent meals, like pot roast. Oh, and I don’t make my son eat vegetables - it’s not worth the hassle. I hardly ever make cookies. I’ve never been able to volunteer at any of his schools (thank goodness!). Oh, and we hardly ever eat a meal at the dining room table - most of the time, it’s in front of the TV. Pathetic, I know. The worst one right now? I can’t remember the last time that I vacuumed the house - it’s about ready to stage a rebellion, I swear. And the inside of my car never, EVER stays clean. Enough?? I could go on for quite some time…..
May 1st, 2009 at 8:21 pmHow do I fail?????
I think i fail in little ways here and there.
Somedays it’s the laundry, somedays it’s making sure they brush their teeth. I fail in making them pick up their rooms and because of that they are mainly messy. I failed as a tooth fairy now and then. In their eyes i fail at different things but hopefully when they get older they will see that i did what i felt was best for them.
May 1st, 2009 at 8:30 pmI am enjoying this so much..I will be coming back!
Don’t fret.. that’s nothing..just funny!
May 1st, 2009 at 8:31 pmI’ve been debating all day if I really have to wash her T-ball shirt for her for tomorrow morning. I had decided against it, but now my husband wants his laundry done.
I give them juice mixed with water all day long - they’re getting water aren’t they?
I’m terrible at brushing their teeth and I don’t push veggies. I hate them and have survived - so will they!
I feel so much better now - thanks!
May 1st, 2009 at 8:42 pmour tooth fairy is seriously delinquent!!
May 1st, 2009 at 8:58 pmi am continually tardy to refill the kids lunch money accts at school.
i never know where my teenage daughter is- fortunately she hasn’t been in trouble.
every night around dinner time i am taken aback with surprise that they are hungry AGAIN. a mad search of the refrigerator for a creative dinner ensues.
you could get lost in the dirty laundry in our laundry room.
showers seem to be optional.
sheet changing also seems to be optional.
definitely have hiding sites for candy.
i never seem to be able to turn in paper work on time for school.
my kids never have a treat with their lunch. and boy do i hear about it.
When my son wets the bed, I will often just pile two towels on top instead of changing it that night… sometimes? it stays like that for a few nights. shhhhh.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:12 pmI wear my pajamas to drive my daughters to their bus stops.
It is a long time between sheet changes.
Sometimes I go watch TV for the entire evening upstairs and leave them to their own devices. And I take a glass of wine with me. If I hear them running up the stairs I know it’s because they are hungry.
Socks are my downfall. Every morning we have to scrounge around for matching pairs. I’m sure there is a sock eating gremlin in the basement laundry room. I LOVE flip flop season.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:15 pmI watch way too much reality tv - often in the evening while my dh is putting the girls to bed. I’m particularly hooked on “Snapped” on the Oxygen Network. It’s about women who ’snap’ and kill their husbands. I don’t know why I’m so addicted to it.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:26 pmHmm - where to start.
Told my kids that yogurt was a special kind of “ice cream” that only kids could eat.
Told my kids that steak off the bbq was only for adults and hot dogs were better for them.
Told them I could change the stoplights from red to green by blowing on them.
I used to let them wear their rubber boots all the time in the spring and summer cause I was too lazy to find their sneakers and tie them.
Despite all the “little white lies” both kids have grown up to be responsible, well-rounded adults, and now I can hardly wait for grandchildren so I can start all over again with the fun stuff!!
May 1st, 2009 at 9:29 pmMy pediatrician asked me if my baby boy could roll over. I told her “no.” She looked at him, and said, “Yes, he can.” She touched his shoulder and to my amazement, he rolled right over. She turned him over, and he did it again. I felt so stupid!
May 1st, 2009 at 9:34 pmOMG, too funny!! Where would I even begin…?!
May 1st, 2009 at 9:45 pmGeez….we live such parallel lives. I though I was the suckiest tooth fairy, lol!
Baseball laundry is killin’ me. It’s not just the uniform being clean; it’s the stuff……jock strap, cleats, belts, hats. Someone (out of the three players) is always searching for something.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:51 pmLoosing my temper when they WHINE. Seriously… how can I develop a thicker skin for that?
May 1st, 2009 at 9:51 pmA box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls will leave the store and enter my house…..suddenly they are gone and no one else ever knew they had come home with me!
I wait for the kids to go to bed so hubby and I can have ice cream, you know, because it’s not good for kids!
I have managed to keep out of my kids stashes of holiday candy. I had to, they learned to count!!! heeheehee
May 1st, 2009 at 9:55 pm1. I convinced my 2 boys that the ice cream truck that parks outside our house every day is just bringing ice cream to the store.
2. I regularly serve “brinner” - breakfast for dinner. Eggo waffles and cold cereal are my specialties.
3. I have raided their piggy banks more often than I care to admit.
4. About 3/4’s of their baby books is completely fabricated. The other 1/4 is still blank.
5. I am long over due in checking my oldest son’s shoe size. A 7 year old’s foot doesn’t grow that fast, does it??
May 1st, 2009 at 9:59 pmWhere do I start?
1. The 3 drawer of my night stand hides my goodies (STOP IT!): M&M’s, dark chocolate, etc.
May 1st, 2009 at 9:59 pm2. We live out of the baskets of folded laundry….I just can’t seem to get it all the way done!
3. We often have 1 night a week that dinner is cold cereal. Hey….it’s fortified with vitamins and the milk counts as calcium!
I agree with Jane, my girls are happy, healthy and LOVED. It’s all good.
Oh, gosh, I’ve had my “parent-of-the-year” nomination revoked more times than I can say. I have done the missed shoe size several times (I blame the kids for their continuous growing — who could be expected to keep up?) As for the forgetful tooth fairy (who isn’t guilty of that?), I usually tell the child he/she has not searched thoroughly enough for the money. I “look” around the bed and “find” it on the floor underneath the bed where it must have fallen during the night.
When my kids were little and ate only unsweetened, whole grain cereals for breakfast, I would eat Lucky Charms or Corn Pops and tell the kids they were “adult-only” cereals, just like my “adult-only” beverage at dinner.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:08 pmI like mismatched socks on little kids! My son now has all Hanes white athletic socks. No mismatches there.
And my sort of bad mom thing is that I’ve convinced my son that the best pets are the wild ones outside, so we have no real pets. Instead we have lizards and deer and turkey vultures as wild pets! Maybe my son will be deprived of some dog/cat childhood memories because of me…
May 1st, 2009 at 10:09 pmI love the story of how, when my Mom & uncles were growing up, after they ate the leaves off the asparagus, my Grandmother would clear the dishes and eat ALL THE ARTICHOKE HEARTS by herself in the kitchen (that’s 4 hearts, all to herself–I assume my Grandfather knew better).
I’m not sure how/when they all figured out her dirty secret, but am I going to do that for as long as possible when I have my own kids? You betcha.
(She also used to, on the rare occasion they had fresh lobster, take everyone’s tails before their plates made it to the table so she’d have the “good” meat to make lobster rolls for lunch the next day. It’s too bad she was taken long before her time should have been up…I think we would be good friends today.)
May 1st, 2009 at 10:14 pmMy dirty little secret is the sock thing too…..i have a laundry basket full of them and now the kids just get up in the morning and go to the laundry room and look for socks there.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:15 pmI used to be able to do the eat in the car facing away from the kids so they didnt know what goody i was having…except now they ask what are they smelling and mooooom your eating something and it is candyyyyyyyy. ahh busted!dangit
1. If my daughter is begging to play outside in the front yard but I’m too tired to watch her, I tell her it’s supposed to rain.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:26 pm2. I hide all the candy a day or two after Halloween and Easter and tell them they ate it all. And then I eat it when they’re napping.
3. I tell my daughter I have to check my email to see if Daddy needs to tell me something important when all I really want to do is check a couple of blogs for updates.
4. If we’re at the mall and I just can’t face the indoor playground area, I tell my kids they’re a little sick and we don’t want to spread our sneezy germs.
5. I spend more time online than I care to admit catching up on other people’s lives when I really should be spending that time playing games with my kids. Except right now they’re sleeping so it’s okay!
i don’t have my sons annual weight/height for the last 2 years… we are filling out a timeline for his health class and he won’t have the last 2 yrs weight/height. oh well. we moved 2 yrs ago too so i cna’t even look at the marks on the wall we made for his height….
May 1st, 2009 at 10:38 pmGirl, I hate to tell you. It’s not hot yet.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:55 pm1. I have put my children in front of the TV for the last week while I obsess over Twilight and all Twilight related things. Yes, I am 34yrs old and what of it? I am reliving my teenage angst period.
May 1st, 2009 at 11:12 pm2. Since my husband is going on long service leave as of tomorrow this past week I have completely stopped parenting and become a total lazy ass…actually see number 1.
3. I stopped taking my child to gymnastics even though she loved it because I.just.couldn’t.be.bothered.
4. My kids are always rummaging around in the laundry looking for clothes. I should just stick their cupboards in the laundry because the clothes never quite get to their cupboards.
5. I will shake the kids bed sheets out rather than change them.
My oldest son hides the doritos on the top shelf in the very back of the pantry, but I find them and eat them all anyway.
(About the socks, for my little kids, I put each kid’s socks in their own lingerie bag, and wash and dry the socks in the bag. It would work better if I washed socks before all 900 pairs of socks in the house were dirty.)
May 1st, 2009 at 11:14 pmMy oldes is 20 1/2 and my youngest is 13 so I have not had to be a tooth fairy in a LONG time. But I will admit I forgot a lot. I would tell them the tooth fairy was very busy with population boom and all, so make sure it was in their tooth chest on the dresser this time so the fairy would not have to search for it. That would help me see it and remember to leave the money.
May 1st, 2009 at 11:16 pmI also have indtroduced my youngest to the laundry room. She was always complaining she had nothing to wear (even with a full closet of clothes) she now does all her own laundry. Working on the 15 year old boy who complains all the time his fav pair of pants are dirty.
We do not like the smell of Febreez here so I can say that we have never done that trick BUT we have thrown clothes in the dryer for a quick spin with bounce to get them smelling better.
And I have to agree with number 5 from Angie, maybe if I spent less time ready others lives and spend more time with my teenagers I could get my son to pass school or stay out of detention? Hum, do teen boys really want mom to be around more? I can not even get hugs unless they are sick.
I have lots more faults, I really do not want to think about.
I don’t want to play this game!!!
May 1st, 2009 at 11:24 pmAbout the tooth fairy… Once my kid wouldn’t give up his tooth to the tooth fairy so he carved a replica from an almond to take it’s place. The tooth fairy still left him a coin under his pillow in its place but she cheated and switched ‘em out before bedtime… so she wouldn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night.
May 1st, 2009 at 11:46 pmHi,
A friend sent me a link to your blog because I too am guilty of #3. M poor little guy also was walking around in shoes 1.5 sizes too small. I figured he was maybe a half size bigger and it would wait til summer…but…um.. nope…
his poor little cramped toes…sigh. You’d think after 5 years I’d be getting it more right, but I think my skills are declining.
May 1st, 2009 at 11:55 pmI do all of the above. A lot. So, failing actually IS an option for me.
My favorite is “refreshing” clothes out of the hamper for work and hiding candy in a container that’s supposed to be holding sugar-free lemonade. In the summer, I hide it in a Smart Ones box in the back of a freezer. Works every time.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:02 am1. I have forgotten to play tooth fairy more times that I can count. I finally figured out that I could put the money in an envelope just like the one the tooth is in….go into the bedroom and tell them that they just have to look again. THEN I’d drop the envelope on the floor at the head of the bed while they were looking. TADA.
2. If you forget to feed them dinner, and they forgot they didn’t eat before bedtime. Go ahead and let them sleep. (I ACTUALLY did this once when they were little)
3. Kids can actually survive on Pizza Rolls.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:23 am…..oh, and uniforms? We are into swimming!
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:26 amMy kids are gone, but they will never let me forget that the first insentive words out of my mouth if anybody ever got injured were, “Don’t get blood on the carpet!” Also, back in the day when the month was longer than the money, we played “Little House on the Prairie” and ate pancakes and biscuits every meal until the paycheck came.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:33 am1. My middle child almost never wears matching socks because really if she doesn’t care I don’t either.
2. I gave up on my children wearing matching clothes. As long as they are wearing pants and a shirt I am happy.
3. I spend waaaay too much time online. If everyone is quite I am happy.
4. I homeschool and I don’t fix any lunch usually. I let them eat whatever they want including crackers with peanut butter.
5. I went to the thrift store and bought more small spoons and forks so I wouldn’t have to do dishes as often.
6. I told my youngest there was no tooth fairy because we could never remember to leave money. Now I make them hand the teeth over with no reward.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:49 amTooth fairy? She often shows up and the kids just don’t notice it somehow. Because, when I go to check, the money is there! Every time.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:59 amWooooo! I think these comments speak for themselves.
Note to MY delightful GROWN children…..”
You think “I” was bad ugh..hummnm… read it and weep honey…face the reality.
Someday you will make a shrine about me. LOL
Or,at least keep a plant alive in my memory . Ok?
Love you !!Mom “
May 2nd, 2009 at 1:56 amthis is the BEST.POST.EVER.
May 2nd, 2009 at 1:59 amBeen there with the tooth fairy. The only thing that consoles me is the fact that my husband is a worse Santa Claus.
I can’t handle kiddie music and refuse to listen to it in the car. My kids have been singing along to The Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan since they were babies. My 8 year old is now into Depeche Mode. It could be worse…they could be listening to Britney Spears.
I took my son out of preschool with a list of justifications but the main pull was that with a new baby at home it was just too much of a hassle to take him every morning. Yep, I sacrificed my sons entire future out of sheer laziness, lol.
My kids are easily bribed and I take full advantage of that.
Can I do a husband one? I sometimes extend my own illnesses or simply fabricate them for the benefits. My husband helps with everything but when I’m sick he takes over completely. Who needs a vacation when you have that? Don’t hate me!
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:16 amMy gosh, I wouldn’t even know where to begin! Maybe this sums it up. I picked up my preschooler today and asked him how his day was.
His response:
“Well, not very good because so-and-so was being such a DAMN JACKASS and not sharing.”
Safe to say he didn’t learn that language on PBS.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:22 amSometimes I send my kids upstairs to bed, telling them I will be up there to tuck them in in a few minutes…sometimes I forget to go up, since they fall asleep instantly I always tell them I did, in fact, tuck them in but they were already asleep.
My son has worn damp underwear to school many times, because I forget to dry them.
Sometimes, Dad’s cologne can substitute for a bath when we oversleep.
I hide Milk Duds and my Starbucks drinks in the microwave so I can sneak a little (without sharing) each time I go into the kitchen.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:24 amI could go on and on….
For years my daughter thought the ice cream truck was “the music truck” that came around the neighbourhood on summer evenings, playing music for us to enjoy. She’s almost 20 now and STILL drags that story out.
When it was a partculary exhausting day (can you say “busy child”) we might have bath time at 5. She could play and I would sit beside the tub and read… occasionally adding more warm water… for..a while or so.
I would encourage her to read her book in bed and I would read my book beside her. This would follow the “busy day” bath. Done correctly your child is asleep before 7 and you can get through a couple of chapters.
What - laundry baskets are just portable drawers? What’s this putting away stuff all about?
I would stash my good chocolate on the high shelf by the sink. The opportunity for aA good piece of chocolate can make cleaning the kitchen a little more attractive. And the good cookies were in the flip to of the night table. No one thought to move the clock radio and phone to get them.
But my most ingenious was to buy a $1 lottery ticket as we entered the grocery store. My daughter would get to hold it until she transgressed. Then I would take it back. Then she would earn it back. Then I would take. You get the picture. At the end of the errand she could scratch the ticket. I didn’t have to buy candy at the check out but I might have raised a gambling addict.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:29 amOk, I have to say with the shoe thing my 9 year-old regularly wears the same shoe size for a year or more while I check her size over and over then her foot grows a size or more seemingly overnight and the shoe store people act like I’m crazy.
On the sock front . . . my 4 year-old regularly wears mismatched socks for the same reason. I pretend it was all her idea. If it really bothers you, I used to have a system by which each child’s sock were put into one of those mesh laundry bags and then washed that way — made them easy to mate up. However, now that they are responsible for getting their own cloths in the hamper, I just haven’t bothered.
On the dirty uniform front . . . my daughter’s gymnastics warm-ups get washed pretty much never.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 amThe parents at this place don’t always get that dinner on the table. There is always food, but, 2 or 3 days a week it is
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 amsandwiches or take out. I always feel guilty about this.
Tonight, it was peanut butter and jelly for one, and canned soup for the other. The husband had hard boiled eggs, and I had a bologna sandwich.
Also, my kids are on swim teams and in the pool 6 days a week, and those towels and bathing suits, which perpetually hang in my bathroom only get washed every couple of weeks. You are not alone.
I’ve also done the forgetting about the tooth thing, to the point of giving the poor kid a five-spot when I finally remembered.
I dump the clean clothes on my bed and make the kids sort/fold/hang up their own stuff, AND if their clothes aren’t in the hamper, they don’t get washed, so if they want to wear something special and it’s not clean, it’s their own fault (jeez, I’m mean).
I don’t care for sweets, but I totally hide chips.
And I just bought new shoes for my son that were 2 full sizes bigger than ones he had been wearing. In my defense, I asked him repeatedly if they were getting too small, and he kept saying no.
My daughter has to ask me several times to wash her sheets, because she has a loft bed and it’s a pain in the arse.
I’m actively trying to get my toddler interested in TV, so I can have 30 minutes a day for something else (not working so far!).
My son forgets to wear his glasses to school at least half the time, and I NEVER notice until I pick him up.
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:42 amOh, guilty of many. Just the other day, Karma got me for one: I told my daughter I was going to get her some new tights (thinking to use a little Kohl’s gift card I had). I got myself a bra instead. And whaddaya know, it somehow fell out of the bag somewhere in the mall!
That’s what I deserved, I guess.
May 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 am-I haven’t perfected the mind reading skill either. Last time I took my son to get shoes his feet were a full size bigger. I had to explain that I don’t know if he doesn’t say anything.
-I got tired of my 7yo asking me what every word means, so I bought him a dictionary and a thesaurus. I told my husband we’re teaching him research skills.
-When my husband is out of town the kids and I go eat at the more expensive restaurants on kids night. I only have to pay for my meal that way and it’s way cheaper. It’s amazing how many places have kids’ night.
-I don’t cook breakfast during the week. If it can’t be poured into a bowl or put in the toaster you don’t get to eat it. I’m not a morning person. I’ve always thought moms who cook a full meal before 8am are a little insane.
-When my son whines about a favorite shirt not being clean, I’m not above pulling it out of the laundry and spraying it with Febreeze just so I don’t have to hear the whining.
May 2nd, 2009 at 7:30 amHere is just a few…
1. The kids only get to eat their Holiday candy for one day. Then mommy and daddy devour it all.
May 2nd, 2009 at 7:37 am2. I sometimes forget to brush my daughter’s hair.
3. I hate reading to my kids.
Baths. Unless I can see the dirt, I will let baths slide if my son says he doesn’t want one. I AIM for one bath a week, but last month he played in the tub in shave cream and then I rinsed him off and I called it a day, or a week. I like to keep his hair buzzed short that way it doesn’t look dirty and we don’t have crying fits about hair washing. And he’s an only child! What will happen when #2 comes along in Aug/Sept?
May 2nd, 2009 at 7:44 am1. My kids eat way too much crap
May 2nd, 2009 at 8:06 am2. I let my 6 year old wear a pullup at night because I am too lazy to work on “night training her”.
3. I told my girls that dance was “over” for the year when we ran out of money to pay for it in December.
4. My 3 year old says “whatEVER” to people and I think it’s funny.
I have given up on the sock drawers. We now just have a basket of all of our socks. And still have crazy sock day.
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 amI have a 6 month old - first child. Sometimes when she wakes up at night to nurse I am too tired to change her diaper. I do this knowing that she will wake up in the morning covered in pee bc her diaper was too full. And I tell myself that baby pee is like water. I don’t do it all the time. Sometimes I am just so tired. But she gets plenty of baths and is more than loved
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 amI knew I’d been saying “just a minute” too much when my 4 yr old asked me if this would be a “little” minute or a “big” minute!
thanks for posting this, Chris! I can soooo relate!
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am1) Last night I forgot to prepare a bottle of water for my son for his baseball game. I did remember to prepare a bottle for me however.
I also hide candy & treats from the kids.
2) I frequently forget to brush their teeth at night.
3) On weekends my husband and I go to bed and leave the kids up (they’re 5 & 3) - they know how to turn the tv off and go to bed when they’re ready and then we get to sleep late the next morning.
4) My kids have a tv in their room. They watch it at night when they go to bed. That’s the only way we can get them to stay in their rooms.
5) My kids have NEVER worn colored socks. I just cannot deal with anything other than white.
6) I only allow the kids to have water at school (no juice), because I don’t make them drink water at home. I pay someone else to fight that battle during the day.
7) When my kids come home with flashcards or practice worksheets from preschool I throw them away. I guess I need to stop doing that next year when my oldest is in kindergarten.
9) I have a confession, I hate to read children’s books.
10) Sheets only get changed about once a month
I am proud to say that I have some OCD tendencies regarding laundry, so that is always done and put away. That may be my only area of success though.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:03 amYears ago, when my kids were young enough to still be napping age, I’d have ice cream while they napped. They were old enough to remember I had bought the ice cream at the store, but I always acted like I didn’t know what they were talking about when they asked if they could have some.(Ice cream? We don’t have any ice cream…sorry.)
Finally, after 18 years of parenting, I have the house to myself ALL DAY LONG.(all the kids are in school all day now)This is awesome, let me tell ya. I can do and eat whatever I want, guilt free. If I run through the house, and get all the obvious large messes taken care of right after they leave for school, then I have the rest of the day to do whatever I want, guilt free. Or better yet, leave it all until one hour before they come home from school, so when they get here, the dishwasher is running, the washer and dryer are going, etc….and it creates the illusion that I’ve been busy all day.LOL
I still do the treats in the car thing, but I HAVE to have a good hiding place for the wrappers or they will bust me in a half a second flat. They’re too old to not question the smell in the car, so I usually have to throw out the wrappers and drive to the school to pick them up with the windows down(even in the winter), to get rid of any trace of smell in there.
I put my 12 yr old in charge of his own laundry. Bad idea. He basically doesn’t do it unless I force him to. YUCK! And that’s just one fight I don’t wish to have. I do remind him about once a week, but he doesn’t listen, and I don’t nag. So I figure if he wants to be the smelly kid, so be it.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:12 amI will claim my age has caused me to forget any of my mothering sins… but I do know the tooth fairy resorted to having the kids place the tooth in a glass of water, in the kitchen, so I could manage to get the quarter in before they got up and made it to the kitchen. A fine ruse but my kids were small in the late sixties and inflation has set in, you probably don’t want to put bills in a glass of water.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:26 amI’m with you on 3, 4, and 5. Totally.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:48 amI cannot seem to get my boy dinner before 7:30 or 8. And he always goes to bed way too late. I’m good with laundry but that tooth fairy thing happens to me, too.
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:08 amWe have forgotten the Tooth Fairy, too. Now, I don’t feel so bad about it. My daughter was so surprised and happy when she discovered that the Tooth Fairy came while she was eating breakfast. Hey, when you lose a tooth at 3am in the morning, twice, the TF is off the clock.
I keep trying to find quick and healthy snacks for the kids, but they never want to eat them, so I have given in and bought the store crap.
I use to have a rule that they could only watch a movie in the car on long trips, over an hour. Well, to save my sanity I have been allowing them to watch a movie on the way to school. In my defense, my son and I are in the car for over an hour to drop off and pick up my daughter, so that counts.
I have no idea what to get my daughter for her b-day. She asked for an ipod, which I was discussing with her Godparents and, now, they are getting her one. Great, I gave away the only gift idea my daughter gave me for her b-day. Plus I have no idea what kind of favors to hand out for her party. Isn’t a party for her closest 24 friends enough?
One last thing: Try a lingere bag for the socks. Each kid (young) has their own. Sorry if this has already been suggested.
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 amWho hasn’t used Febreeze at least once or twice; dirty dishes overnight; pulled sweater from laundry because a sweater is required for uniform. I’ve also bought underwear because I am behind on laundry; bought take-out - who the heck wants to cook? Conveniently forget to ask if a certain kid can come over or have a play date. Say we can’t go swimming because it’s going to rain (even though it is an inside pool. Kid still has issues from time to time with being dry overnight, so if I am tired, I encourage the Good Night undergarment (although I feel guilty when he wakes up dry); use the television as a night light; say I will read a story and take so long kid falls asleep before I get there. I am sure I left something out, but somehow I think this is enough for now
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:30 amI just sent my mom a myspace comment bc she remember the tooth fairy and such. Good job momma.
LOL I loved this post and all the comments.
I havent had my first yet but heres my married w/ 1 fur baby confessions.
1. Showers are only as needed. I blaim it on my sensitive skin, I have ezcema.
2. My husband does more cleaning and all the grocery shopping. I make more $ then he does. Thats fair right.
3. I forget to pay my bills on time even though I make double what I was making last year. I just forget. I am getting better. I need to fix my credit.
4. We eat out more then we should (3-4 times a week) bc I dont wanna have to clean the kitchen.
5. I tell my husband it his turn to scoop the litter box every time. LOL
6. My cat is OCD (seriously) and if his box is dirty he poops in the tub. I dont have a problem w/ that. I can easily rinse that out. Its better then on the carpet or some hidden place I cant find.
7. I hide food from my husband. And get bummed when he finds my stash.
8. My car has turned into a storage unit on wheals. I need tinted windows so no one can see all the crap in there.
9. I havent had sheets on my bed in 3 months. When we moved to our new place the 2 nice sheet sets we had totally disappear and I keep meaning to pick some cheap ones up to cover until I get some nicer ones but I forget.
Thats all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure theres more. I think I’ll make this a blog post.
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 amThanks chris
i love reading all the post
we all learn and laugh together
no one’s perfect love your kids
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:45 amWhen my kids (ages 5 & 2) ask for an apple, I convince them that a fruit snack would be better. Because it’s way easier to open a packet of fruit snacks than to cut up an apple.
After a long night with my 3 month old baby, I fell asleep on the couch this morning. When my kids asked if they could have a chocolate egg for breakfast, I said “Sure” and then rolled over and went back to sleep.
My husband keeps telling me that we need to potty train our daughter because he is tired of changing her poopy diapers. I told him that he was welcome to do it on his next week off, but I don’t want to do it. I’d rather wait until she’s older so she does it herself. (just like the first one did.)
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 amI’ve done the shoe thing, but it was almost two sizes too small; I’ve made them wear dirty clothes on occasion, and I hide the junky cereal and ice cream for the same reasons you hide candy. Once in a while I will get busy doing chores and don’t end up feeding them dinner until around 9pm–I hear most 2 and 5-year-olds are in bed by then.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:20 pmYou have just revealed several of my own dirty little parenting secrets. I am laughing too hard to add my own just now, but after my children remind me of some of them, I’ll add them.
Thank you so much for keeping it so real and laughable. That is what I LOVE about your blog.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:23 pmHere’s one that I don’t think anybody has mentioned yet. When my first child was a nursing infant, she had pretty bad cradle cap. And I COULD NOT stop myself from scratching it off with my fingernails, while she nursed. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew it was probably irritating her, but the urge to pick and scrape was irresistible!!!!!
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:31 pmI sometimes get so busy I wait untill 2 in the afternoon to feed my 5 year old lunch, By the time he’s done it’s time for dinner, so I tell him he just had dinner instead of lunch.
I skipped out on a speech assesment for my older son becasue he had literally one sock to his name. I was terrified she would think he was neglected. We went to Wal-Mart instead to buy more socks.
I lied and told my son the play center and the mall were closed becasue of a traffic jam I didn’t want to wait in.
It feels good to know other people do these things too.
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:39 pm1. My son wears two completely diferent styles of crocs everday, one of each on each foot. I’ve given up caring, at least he has shoes on.
2. I can’t stand doing dishes and we don’t have a dishwasher…I will let that crap pile up until I’m out of clean dishes or company is coming…which ever comes first.
3. Also hate doing laundry, and will almost always have to re-run the cycle because I’ve left them in there so long they smell worse than when they were dirty.
Feel better?
May 2nd, 2009 at 12:46 pmI don’t think you have enough room in the comment box to tell you the ways I fail at parenting. Here’s the top ones:
May 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm1. Apparently my 14 yr old thinks he’s a better parent than me and thinks it’s his job to discipline my 3 yr old.
2. I let 3 yr old watch waaaay too much TV because he’s easier to handle when he’s in “the trance.”
3. It’s easier to clean up the mess myself, than arguing, pleading and threatening the teenager to do it, then him do a half ass job at it.
4. It’s easier to do it for the three yr old than arguing, pleading and threatening him to do it, then him doing a half ass job at it.
5. I let them eat waaaay too much candy then wonder why I can’t get them to listen to me and quit running around.
Should I go on?
I throw dirty clothes in the dryer with a sheet of Bounce all the time and tell my kids they’re clean. (Thanks for the Febreeze tip! I’ll be trying that one.) And my oldest has played baseball more than once in a wet uniform.
Also more than once, I have “borrowed” tooth fairy money from the kids piggy banks. And our tooth fairy takes forever too. At least a week!
Love this!
May 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pmI have taken my 4 and 5 year olds into the local liquor store so many times, they are on a first name basis with the cashier. Once when I took them into a different, much larger, liquor store my daughter loudly shouted, “WOW! THIS IS AN AWEOME BOOZE SHOP, LOOK AT ALL THIS BOOZE!!!” then, “Daddy would love this place.” um, yeah.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 pmHow do I fail?
JUST.
LIKE.
YOU.
Thanks for making me feel a little less crazy.
When I forgot to be the tooth fairy, I finally left a note under the pillow that said, “Dear Syd - Sorry I took so long to get here for your tooth. I had to go to Canada. Love, the Tooth Fairy.”
When David wears his favorite shirt again - for the third time in a week - without it being washed, sometimes I just say, “Isn’t that dirty?” And it ends there.
I could go on, but I’m too tired.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 pmToothfairies are card carrying union members with strict work hours, follow all OSHA rules and cannot afford insurance. So, if the bedroom is a mess or they go to bed too late = no visit.
And if there is a second wiggly tooth she is waiting to save on flight time.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm1. Today at Tball we had photo day, the first one ever for our son. We didn’t order any pictures because who needs professional pictures of a 5 yr old in a uniform. Right? Turns out every single other kid on the team’s parents do, that’s who. So our son was the only one with no picture taken. We took one ourself with our camera and told him it was “special”.
2. I send the 5 yr old in to sit with the 2 yr old who is potty-training. I tell him to read his brother books. Then I play on the computer.
3. I forgot to take the 2 yr olds shoes with me on Friday when we went out. So I convinced him it was fun to be barefoot.
4. This is dh’s….he took the 5 yr old to Tball practice this week wearing boxers and a tank top undershirt (that is really pajamas) because that had been what he was wearing all day and dh didn’t notice what he was wearing until they got to practice, the 5 yr old ran off and came back saying “I don’t have any pants!” (They did find a pair of sweatpants in the car I keep there for emergencies so maybe that redeems us somewhat.)
5. I just ate the last two popsicles in the freezer while dh has the kids out doing soemthing else.
May 2nd, 2009 at 2:56 pmThank you for this! Oh do I suck, let me count the ways.
1. I make my kids do their own laundry. I started this because I was tired of the 9:30 PM game called I don’t have any clothes. Now they do their own clothes at 9:30. One is in college, one is 16 but this has been going on for four years now.
2. If my son says he isn’t interested in dinner, or if he has eaten before I get home from work. Fine, I’m not cooking only to refrigerate it all.
3. I know the house is messy, but if they wanted it cleaned up, they’d help. Right? Right?
4. I too put them in charge of “their bathroom”. I’m going to have to use a putty knife on the shower now.
5. I do not like breakfast, so I don’t make them any either. Quit that when they were about 6 and 8. In other words when they could pour cereal. I still did it on weekend though..for a while. More cooking I don’t do, see #2.
6. I know he puts his socks under the foot stool, but still I only collect them once a week or so…for him to launder see #1 Also, I do not know how or even if they match their own socks anymore.
7. They are both well over 6 feet tall, so there is no more ever hiding anything from them candy or otherwise…except for on the very bottom shelf of the freezer in the wayback where Ben&Jerry live. They don’t like to bend over that far.
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pmWhen my kids were little, I’d hide my freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies (!) in a frozen-lima-bean bag and they STILL don’t know it. I also told my daughter that only adults liked strawberries, and she has yet to forgive me.
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 pmI only have one son in baseball (daughter’s tball doesn’t really count) and I do the SAME THING w/the uniforms! Sometimes it’s just all I can manage…and that’s okay!
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:45 pmThanks for sharing! Glad to know I’m not the only one who does things like the mismatched socks and damp sports uniforms and nipping into the pantry for a chocolate fix.
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:44 pmI think my worst is when some kid comes to tell me they have no clean underwear, and I say, “Well, I don’t have a secret stash of clean underwear” and send them off to their own devices–meaning they surely end up wearing dirty undies.
OMG this was not only a very funny post but the replies were the best ever. I am guilty of many (and more). Thank you, thank you for sharing and all the comments left by others.
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 pmMy 11 year old likes to get up very early and make his own breakfast. If I don’t see him pile on the chocolate spread I don’t think it counts as neglect for his health. Does it?
My 13 year old is the slowest eater in the world, he could make it into the Guiness Book Of Records for slow consumption. He has Easter Eggs hanging around for months. When they dissapear misteriously I blame his father…Oooops!
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:09 pmOh I forgot one. I had to sack the Tooth Fairy as she was so tardy. We are still waiting for her to be replaced. Times are hard after all.
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 pmI Love, Love, Love this Blog! Nuf said.
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 pmTold my daughter that the neighborhood ice cream truck was just the “Music Truck” and that the kids following it were just music afficianados.
When I forgot to play Tooth Fairy, I had to call her answering service to leave a message that she had forgot to stop at our house. The tooth fairy left the money and a message, “Mea Culpa” written in caligraphy (which my daughter didn’t know I was practiced in). Convinced her enough that for the next two years, she’d bring the note to school to show her naysaying classmates as proof that she was right about the existence of the Tooth Fairy.
I also purchase Easter, Halloween and Christmas candy when I first see it in the store, and keep it in the trunk of my car. Of course, I eat most of it, and have to buy more before the event.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:02 pm1. I make my 9 y.o. watch my 3 y.o. so I can be on the blog, tweet, etc.
2. I preach “no sugar”! and give everyone a hard time until *I* want dessert, then all bets are off.
3. I often forget to empty out my daughter’s pool backpack, so the next week I just replace the towel and leave everything else as is, since the bathing suit is dry by then.
May 2nd, 2009 at 10:04 pmThis post has made me feel like I’m not failing as a mother quite as much as I thought!
May 3rd, 2009 at 7:49 amOnce our tooth fairy had to send the money by mail as she’d forgotten for several nights and had been “busy helping Father Christmas”!
I also steal their Easter eggs and blame their siblings.
I feel so much better about myself after reading this, thank you!
I pretend to listen when my mind is really light years away from whatever they are trying to tell me. I hate it when I do this.
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 amWhen I’m too lazy to make Lael lunch for school, I trick her into eating school lunch by telling her there will be breadsticks. Even if that means she won’t eat the meatloaf that comes with it.
May 3rd, 2009 at 1:26 pmProbably once a week I work out, then pick up Happy Meals for the kids on my way home. Apparently fitting into my shorts is a higher priority than their health. Niiice.
Bathing isn’t a high priority, either. My kids, 5 and 2, get baths once or twice a week. Unless they’re so filthy a wipe can’t do the job. What? They have dry skin!
“Dirty” laundry is worn out of the hamper too often to measure. Thank you, thank you for lowering the bar.
May 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pmI’m in love with Stephanie for the idea that the TF won’t deliver to a messy room. I’m off the hook FOREVER.
May 3rd, 2009 at 5:44 pmI still have not developed the rolel of film from my son’s first day of kindergarten. He is graduating high school in June. And asked me about that kindergarten film the other day.
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:08 pmMaybe this is advice you don’t want or need but my husband is 8 of 9 children and when he was a kid he got sick of his next oldest brother stealing his socks so his solution to the problem was to pin them together at the toes with a safety pin, that way he knew exactly which ones were his. He still does it so that he doesn’t have to pair them.
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:12 pmWell, my kids just sat through a 6-hour Sponge Bob Square Pants-a-thon so I could decorate a wedding cake for a client.
They thought it was the greatest thing ever since they usually don’t watch much TV at all. I thought it was the greatest thing ever because I didn’t have too little monsters leaning over my shoulder with a gazillion questions about what I was doing, what was that, and how does that taste?
May 3rd, 2009 at 7:30 pmI pray for summer. Crocs with no socks. Did you hear me??–NO SOCKS! Shoes that can be washed in the dishwasher. Yup… I do it (without other dishes… although I’ve been close to doing that).
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:26 pmSometimes, when the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and I have a few new ones that have since accumulated in the sink to be washed, I take out just a few - enough to make room - put the new ones in, and rewash everything else.
I have bought new clothes/underwear/socks because I haven’t felt like doing laundry that night.
I’ve let my kids eat cake for breakfast as long as they have a glass of milk with it. I tell them it’s no different from having donuts.
May 3rd, 2009 at 8:57 pmI just thought of another.
When my husband and I were first dating and couldn’t keep our hands off of each other, I was the single parent of a very active two-year-old boy.
One day, we wanted to have a little adult fun, so my (now) husband put my son on the couch, tucked him in tight with his blankie (almost like a seatbelt), gave him a bowl full of M&M’s, and put a Barney video in. We then went in the bedroom and locked the door for about 20 minutes.
11 years later, and we still laugh about it.
May 3rd, 2009 at 9:04 pmNumber 1, 3, 5, and too many other ways to count, thankyouverymuch. I just started doing something about Number 1 though; maybe it’ll work for you too: when there is a tooth under a pillow (it usually goes there right after it falls out of the mouth, during the day), I put toss one of the bathroom washrags over my sink faucet in the master bathroom. Then when I go to brush my teeth and wash my face that night before bed, I remember why I put that dumb washrag over the faucet and magically become the tooth fairy. It’s worked a couple times here.
About that kid staying up until midnight; I can’t help you there - sorry!
May 3rd, 2009 at 9:23 pmi also hide candy too. and when she asks what i am eating, my response is “raisins! do you want some?”
my daughter could probably use a bath more frequently and i only brush her hair once in a blue moon.
the bathroom is literally carpeted with dirty clothes right now. dirty clothes that i might go through and find something for her to wear to playgroup tomorrow… though i suppose i could start the laundry tonight.
May 3rd, 2009 at 10:25 pmI am very disappointed in all of you. I was hoping that I was the only one out there doing these things and that the rest of you had your acts together because then there would still be hope for me. I think I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:52 amFirst - thanks for allowing us to realize that you do miss a step here and there.
No one is perfect - doesn’t matter what they tell you. How many other jobs do you have Chris?
I didn’t forget the tooth fairy - ever - until my youngest lost a tooth and didn’t tell us - as he put it “just to test the theory”. (another arrow to the mother’s heart).
I’ve done the candy-hiding thing. I would have done the crazy sock day - but the boys are too conservative. (b-t-w those single socks you just can’t find a match for make GREAT dust clothes - which you then throw away!)
My biggest ‘dirty little secret’ is that I don’t want to send my boys into the world as ignorant men. I want them to be able to cook for themselves and a friend or two, to recognize a disgusting bathroom AND CLEAN IT, to be able to do laundry BEFORE they leave for college so they don’t bring home two months of laundry on their first visit. So I am the wicked mother who makes them get their own dinner, clean the boys bathroom, and sooooooon very soon they will have the laundry thing in hand as well.
My boys are 13 & 15 and laundry is going to be the story they have to write this year. “What I did on my summer vacation”.
My children have chores and most of their friends DON’T. They find it offensive - now. But when they live in a bachelor pad … who will be eating the best and have the cleanest clothes (if they care)?
Oh and why are we so hard on ourselves?
May 4th, 2009 at 10:09 amI do the same thing with candy ALL THE TIME. And ice cream. We make sure that our girls don’t have many sweets at all and then when they go to sleep my husband and I INDULGE. Too funny.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:16 amI use duct tape to hem the kids choir uniforms. I also have a private candy stash. And we have cereal for dinner way more than I care to admit. And I will begin crazy sock day today. Right now, in fact.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:48 pm1)I let my 5 year old wear “Dirty” laundry for the first time last week. I felt like a horrible parent,until now!
2)After a day or crazy cleaning I went to bed to find that my sheets were still in the washer. I was so tired at that point I just slept on the couch. (Good thing I’m a single parent)
May 4th, 2009 at 12:55 pmThere are just too many to list. My sons rarely make it to activities with all of their gear and one time at Kung Fu when they were sparring and one son did not have his mouth piece we one of his brothers take his out when he finished his turn and give it to his brothers. I figure we all have the same germs anyway. And I regularly forget to give out lunch money and they are terrible about reminding me and would go without it for days so in January we started a new policy. They make their lunches four times a week and we give them lunch money once a week. The reality is that most days they don’t bother to make a lunch and I don’t have to feel guilty anymore - unless of course I forget lunch money day. Ahem.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:41 pmThank you for opening up the confession booth, Chris! I’m not Catholic but I can appreciate a good soul-bearing now and then!!
May 4th, 2009 at 2:03 pmI can relate to almost everything–the laundry, Febreeze, small shoes (one of my twins’ shoes finally had to rip out before I took her to get new ones) and the candy hiding thing. My mom used to do that too–I think it was chocolate covered peanuts in her underwear drawer!! Oh, how I can relate.
@PamS - If only more parents were like you. I’m newly out of college and have three roommates whose mothers DID NOT teach them to clean or to take care of themselves. Unfortunately, MY MOTHER DID, and I have been stuck with the job of playing mommy for my roommates who, at the age of 22, still don’t know how to clean a bathroom, load a dishwasher, or swiffer a floor. Sigh. Mamma’s, don’t let your babies grow up to be slobs. Or their future roommates will totally blame you.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:19 pmLove this!! And the comments too…Jen’s daughter and the “Look at all this BOOZE!” made me snort loudly and very nearly got me busted at work!! We have a drive-through booze store (yes, this is Texas) and my kids know how to order my usual wine. Awesome!
Neither of my kids have a baby book or have been to the dentist yet and they are FOUR and FIVE. And I totally stash all of the chocolate for myself.
May 4th, 2009 at 5:12 pmWow - what a fabulous post! I feel so much better! (That’s why you did it, right? Because it’s all about me?)
The laundry thing never got me - most days I feel like that’s the only thing I do RIGHT around here! But there are plenty of things I fail at:
May 4th, 2009 at 9:25 pm1) Nutritious meals. And I feed my 5-yr-old’s control issues by letting her choose most nights.
2) I bought 12 Cadbury eggs this year. I ate 8 of them.
3) I fly off the handle and revoke privileges left and right if they a) whine too much and cause my head to explode or b) initiate the Up And Down Bedtime Brigade and I have to put them back to bed umpteen million times.
4)I clean only if we’re expecting company or even *I* can’t stand it…
My list goes on and on. In fact, I’m borrowing your post. Thanks for thinking of this!!
Amelia - I thought about that - but the boys will have to find roommates like you who have a clue - or they will have to make enough money not to need roommates!!!
May 5th, 2009 at 8:15 amI totally let my kid watch way too much TV in the mornings so that I can bathe, fix breakfast, and waste some time.
I also split cupcakes with him, and by that I mean he gets like 1/4 cupcake and I eat the rest of it.
I have waited until he fell asleep before to eat his Halloween and Easter candy.
I make my kid continue to wear one of 2 long-sleeved shirts that still fits him even though the weather has been consistently cold because I REFUSE to buy more long-sleeved wear in May.
This list could go on for a while …
May 5th, 2009 at 10:33 amWe went to a Detroit Tigers game when my older son pointed out that his 7-y-o brother had decided it was CRAZY SHOE DAY!
—Two completely different sneakers on his feet. We had been out of the house for at least 6 hours before even older son had noticed. I
Also, I can bicker with my kids about who’s fault it is that I didn’t sign their planner (insert any other basic task I forget to do) for school instead of being a grown-up and knowing that I’m acting like a b*tch.
May 5th, 2009 at 10:52 amI try but most often I forget to give both my 2yr old son and 4mos old daughter a bath. It’s ususally once or twice a week and I still feel bad about not doing it more although in my defense I too rarely get a bath. I’m exhausted! My son more oftne than not eats chicken nuggets and fries, baked in the oven so that’s healthier than frying right?, or canned chicken noodle soup for lunch. He likes it and eats it and I don’t have to fight him about eating it…..much. He hasn’t lost any teeth yet although I’m definitely stealing some TF ideas when he does b/c I’m about to go back to work full-time. I let him watch TV (cartoons mainly) so I can just relax, he’s very active except when SpongeBob’s on, and I’ve seen CARS wayyyyy to many times for my liking but he sits still, for the most part, and I get to, again, relax or cook dinner or take care of his sister or something. When I’m trying to get him to behave and we’re out I promise him french fries and at times have stopped at McDonald’s to get him some. I know they’re too young to be like this but as many moms on here have said: nobody’s perfect:) And I figured if he or his sister are not dead or dying that I’m doing something right. Right?!?!?
May 5th, 2009 at 11:39 amAfter a particularly spectacular horrible weekend, I have been beating myself up on every mistake I have EVER made. My kids are 20 17 and 15.. I have yet to teach anyone how to drive since I can’t afford the increase in insurance.. My 15 yr olds coach is a total moron but I just don’t have the energy to argue with him so I let my son fend for himself.. I drink wayyyyy too much wine.. I took yesterday and today off from work cause I have the “flu”.. I am not alone and I love every last one of you!!!
May 5th, 2009 at 11:53 amHere in Ohio, wearing mismatched socks is all the rage with the kids. The more mismatched, the better!
May 5th, 2009 at 2:04 pmlet me just say “i love you” My 5 daughters all think my son is our favorite child because he gets matching socks every day. This is only because boy socks area all white and all the same. Therefor: any two match.
candy in the pantry…right there with you and the toothfairy is a myth that went out the door with kid number 3. I just couldn’t care any more. I do do Santa, although sadly #2 recalls the year that he brought her socks and I brought the “good gift” with mucy angst and therapy needing trama.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:23 pmthanks for this post. i’m about to be a mom (37 weeks - yikes!) and this post and the comments are such a good reality check to help lower my own expectations…
May 6th, 2009 at 11:42 amPoptarts are a perfectly acceptable breakfast in my house as are fruit snacks.
On Monday I cleaned my sons’ bedrooms for the 1st time since we moved in (in September).
I’m really bad about remembering to clean out the cat litter box, mainly b/c it’s in the basement. Out of sight, out of mind! So when one of my cats peed in the living room (1st time ever in her 9 years of life!), that was a wake-up call!
As a FT working mom, I do not cook Tues - Fri nights and have not one ounce of guilt about it. My 4yr old loves grilled cheese. At least it’s a hot meal, right?
I do manage to keep up on laundry & bathrooms though. My 2 boys have terrible aim!
May 6th, 2009 at 11:44 amo my. I dont think you have enough room for all the ways I feel like I fail on a daily basis. I am convinced that when you leave the hospital with your first you are so aglow do not notice the guilt spray machine you go through when they whell you out…
May 6th, 2009 at 11:13 pmcrazy sock day is an institution in our house
May 7th, 2009 at 8:36 amAt our house “little shit” and “dork butt” mean the same thing as “darling” and “sweetheart”. My daughter uses all four terms interchangeably and I don’t correct her unless we are around non-family.
May 7th, 2009 at 6:18 pm1. I once sent my oldest son to school on the wrong bus. (We live close to the dividing line for elementary schools and they had a substitute driver that was confused.)
2. My second son broke his collar bone when he was 3 years old and I didn’t take him to the doctor for two days.
3. When my son has peed in his bed and I’ve forgotten to change it, I’ll just tell him to sleep at the other end.
4. My kids don’t use top sheets on their beds. Just a bottom sheet and blanket. We don’t make the beds, either.
5. My kids don’t brush their teeth everyday or take their allergy meds or do just about anything else that requires daily maintenance.
May 10th, 2009 at 4:07 pmGod love ya! I thought I was the only mom ever who forgot the tooth fairy more than 2 days in a row!!!
May 11th, 2009 at 10:15 pmI have been known to reserve the last dregs of milk for my morning coffee. I have fished clothes out of the dirty hamper for another wearing. I have let small boys wear my gym socks with the heels half-way up their ankles when they had no clean socks left. Guess I’m laundry-challenged.
May 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm