Random
June 23, 2009
Last night my 10 yr old son climbed the pole of the street light. All the way to the top and touched the light. On a dare. I didn’t find out about it until after the fact when he proudly announced that he had won a dollar. Wow son risking life and limb for a WHOLE DOLLAR.
A random neighbor, who I assume witnessed the street light pole climbing, came out of his house and applauded for him. Like we want to encourage this.
*****
My daughter swam almost the entire length of the pool by herself yesterday with no floatation devices. I wish I could get pictures of it, but I am afraid that I would have to make a choice between saving her or getting my camera wet, and I am not sure which I would chose. Oh, I kid. I would probably shout to the life guard to dive in. And take photos. But then I would feel guilty about it.
****
My daughter came home from her Mormon friend’s house the other day.
Her: “Mom, they are not allowed to say God.”
Me: “What do you mean? I think Mormons like to talk about God.”
Her: “Like if you are shocked or surprised about something, you are not allowed to say OH MY GOD.”
14 yr old son: “I bet they can’t say “holy shit” either”
Other non-Mormon friendly words, according to my daughter, who is getting her information from a fellow 6 yr old, so, you know take it for what it is worth:
Bootie (as in shake your)
Shut up
Oh my god
stupid
but (not butt. Rather they are not allowed to respond to their parents with “But I…”)
*****
From the mouth of a 4 yr old with older siblings.
The other day I was outside talking to a neighbor and Miles kept pulling on me, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom…”
Finally, exasperated, I turned to him, “WHAT do you WANT?!?”
“Do you have tickets?”
“What?”
“Tickets? Do you have tickets?”
“What in the name of all things holy are you talking about??”
“Tickets… to the gun show.”
He then proceeded to make a muscle and kiss his non-existant bicep. I laughed so hard. Then I made him do it for everyone I came across, like he was my one trick show pony. In fact, because I love you, Internet, I will share it with you.
You’re welcome.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
The “holy shit” comment had me rolling on the floor.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:18 amThe Mormon words thing is hilarious. Good thing the Mormons don’t go to my 2-year-old’s preschool, because in the last few weeks he’s broken out with “Shake your bootie!” and “I like to move it move it.”
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:21 amHe is SO dern adorable - have I said that every post about/on him? HAVE to get that tee he is wearing for many people I know and love! Please, where did you find it?
You love me (us) - you really love us!!
(sally field ~ bad impression) The feeling is mutual!
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 amI’m sorry if I comment twice, but I think my computer ate my comment the first time.
At any rate: he’s very adorable when he does that =) It really made me laugh!
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 amBut that is so CUTE and funny…how come my sweet 5 year old doesn’t remember THAT kind of stuff from his big siblings ( 23, 21 and 20) I can’t even print the things my sweet little boy says that THEY taught him.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pmBest post ever.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pmI love the holy shit part.
Ha! I love this. I totally would have had Miles do that for everyone I came across too, I see nothing wrong with it.
And also way cool for your son shimmying up the light pole…though I probably would have been astonished if *my* child did something like that, I would also probably totally applaud for someone else’s kid. Inconsistency - it’s what’s for dinner.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pmPriceless. You have your own personal comedy show over there in Texas huh? :o)
BTW, how’s you liking it there so far?
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pmGrowing up in a Southern and Christian home, we were also not allowed to say
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 pmStupid (we could say a thing was stupid but not each other)
oh my god
butt (as in kiss my)
Shut up (told each other that too
We said a lot of “I know you are, but what am I?”
Ha, as a Mormon, I will say she is correct. We don’t say Oh My God. (not taking the Lord’s name in vain and all) But I can attest to the fact that my kids say all the other things…Well, maybe not bootie, they don’t know what that means yet. But if they don’t say stupid or shut up at their house (ha ha ha), then I shouldn’t be going over there either. But good for them.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pmBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA about the “holy shit” comment!!!! Classic!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 pmWe’re not Mormon or especially religious, but I don’t let my kids say most of that stuff, either. Especially not “Oh my God.”
But I’m sure I allow other things that would probably shock and horrify other mothers, so basically… it all comes out in the wash.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 pmOh Miles. You and those dimples and that hair…you kill me. The gun show. LOL!
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:45 pmlove all of them!!!! kids are so entertaining…
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:49 pmLOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
I can not stop laughing out Loud
light pole climbing, life vs camera, and all the little words one is not to say
thanks for sharing
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:50 pmwow…how blond he’s become in the texas sunshine!
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pmCan we have a video of Miles every week? Because he is so freaking cute I can’t stand it.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:02 pmLove the “holy shit” and the gun show comments - your kids are priceless! I’d be laughing all day.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 pmI tell my kids they can only say things like “shit” at home because other adults won’t appreciate their freedom of speech in quite the same manner.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:21 pmLol.
Your son is super super cute.
Oh Holy Balls, he is funny.
Wait. I bet they can’t say that, either…
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:23 pmlmao…probably not approved to say either…but still lmao…thanks for the fun post!
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 pmHe is just too freaking cute!!!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pmAlso a Mormon. The “Oh My God” thing is true. But the others are a parent’s personal preference. We love to shake our bootie over here. But we don’t use the word “fart”.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pmI totally have a ticket to the gun show. Please tell Miles.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 pmThis explains why I didn’t last long as a Mormon. Life without uttering Holy Shit simply isn’t possible for me…
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pmI could just eat Myles up. He is the cutest boy I have ever seen. (other than my son:) I loved the holy sh** comment. It made my day.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 pmThat cute little Mormon kid had better not ever visit MY Mormon home. I think I have managed to lose the “Oh my God” from my vocab. But I think I replaced it with “Holy shit!” I so hope the church doesn’t track the comments I leave on blogs…or MY blog for that matter. Is it OK say “I’d be screwed?” Probably not, but I would be.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pmI’m with Alyssa. Some words are definitely taboo for us Mormons, but we also like to get creative with what other words we ban in our homes. And then we come up with creative substitute words for the really naughty ones. We swear incognito.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:25 pmI have a son that we adopted from Russia at 6 yrs old. He surprised us by shimmying up our light post after he was living with us for over 2 yrs. Apparently that was their entertainment in the orphanage…
Catholic, and none of the words are on our acceptable list, but I have 4 boys and armpit and knee farts(which their dad instructed them on) and an occasional calling of the sibling weiner(gasp) happens. Hey, we all try our best!
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pmOh Lord..that is beyond scrumptious! I had my anti-blog husband (who thinks everything I do on the computer is a “blog”) check it out b/c he loves to do the gun show routine around the house. It is only a matter of time before my two boys are chiming in! Thanks for sharing Chris.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pmYou have some funny boys!
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 pmMiles is so darn cute! Love that blonde hair!
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:09 pmMy 3-year old shook her naked booty in front of an entire ice cream parlor full of people on Father’s Day. (It’s a long story as to why she had a naked booty, but she did have a dress on.) Thank God there were no Mormon families there.
I’m totally not telling my kids that it’s possible to get to the top of a light pole. :-O (But I am impressed.)
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:23 pmYour 14yo is quick and clever–love it!
A Kindergarten classmate (Mormon) of my son’s told me–clearly thinking I would be utterly appalled–that just as his mother had started to kiss him goodnight, he had turned his head and *gasp* SHE KISSED HIM ON THE LIPS! Not to worry, though, she apologized.
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:12 pmWe’re Methodist, not Morman, but our list is pretty much the same. My girls can say “bootie”, but the other words we taught them wern’t respectful when they were little. I couldn’t say those things when I was little either. I think some of that is a “southern thing” more than religion.
I don’t care when other kids say them - just my own!
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:49 pmSo cute!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 pmAdorable!
My kids once got into trouble for saying Oh My God while visiting their dad. He isn’t Mormon, in fact neither of us is religious, but he threatened to make them drink water from the toilet if they said it again. I was LIVID.
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 pmOh wow. I suppose that’s what I have to look forward to! My daughter already (at 3) likes to “practice” her bad words.
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:27 pmoh my GOSH, he is so cute. And that hair! What a little beach boy.
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:33 pmI believe the words vary from mormon household to household. We’re are a booty-friendly mormon household:) We avoid “oh my god” but all other words are on a per-situation basis. Cause really sometimes an “oh shit” is merited, and sometimes “screw you” is as bad as any F word.
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pmThat child is is stinking cute!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:06 pmI love the Holy Shit comment, too!
Hee!!! Your kids CRACK me up! He is adorable I think he should be modeling, so CUTE!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:08 pmThanks!!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 pmYes, I agree with Mir…I would like to see that gun show!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 pmWe don’t use any of those words either. For the longest time my kids thought the “s” word was ’stupid’. lol.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:50 pmYeah, we’re Mormon over here too. I agree with the other two that said that we don’t take the Lord’s name in vain. All the other stuff is totally up to the parent. I totally like the “but” rule though…although I doubt I could get my teenagers to abide by it!LOL Maybe my 7 yr old though! In general, we don’t do any swearing, but my kids sure do come up with some interesting substitutes…ugh!
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:51 pmLove it! My 11 month old son Noah is starting to have hair that closely ressembles your little Miles’ … my husband keeps askling me when I’m taking him for a haircut .. not anytime soon of course, it’s way too cute to cut
Love his t-shirt too !
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 pmI got reprimanded by a 6 year old two years ago for saying “Oh, my God!” at my daughter’s school. Good thing I didn’t say “Holy Shit!”
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 pmHilarious! I’m pretty sure the Mormons also wouldn’t approve of my six-year-olds “bow-chick-a-wow-wow” singing he does all the time. From Alvin and the Chipmunks, obviously.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 pmIn a household of 8 Mormons (with one son serving a mission in the worst part of LA) I must admit that there is more than an occasional ’shit’ uttered around here.
We make ourselves feel better by leaving off the holy though.
Tammy and Parker
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:51 pmhttp://www.prayingforparker.com
http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com
@ParkerMama on Twitter
Living in a household of eight Mormons (with one serving a Mission in the ghettos of LA) I must admit that more than just the occasional ’shit’ is heard around here.
We do leave off the ‘Holy’ to make ourselves feel better though.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 pmI love Random — you should make it a regular feature!
June 24th, 2009 at 12:03 amWe’re Mormon and bootie is a household favorite. Hilarious!
June 24th, 2009 at 12:33 amOh yes!!!!!!!!! I have free tickets to the gun show. I’ve lived that for the last year myself. Still cracks me up.
June 24th, 2009 at 2:15 amIs it sad that my 34 year old husband does this too?
Much cuter when it’s a 4 year old!
June 24th, 2009 at 8:29 amHeh, my oldest son was accused of saying swear words and blatantly repeating them to adults many moons ago. What really happened, we had to explain to the dad/friend of college roommate, was because of our not letting him tell his brother to shut up.
We’d told him he could suggest that his brother “be quiet” or “shut his mouth,” but those were clearly too long and not angry sounding enough. So he shortened it to a slightly menacing, “shut!” I knew he was in the clear of the other s word — we’re not the teensiest bit religious but we don’t allow it (heck the older ones weren’t allowed to use the s word “sucks” for the longest time, still don’t like it), so when the dad asked what he’d just said, he calmly repeated shut to his face. When his little brother didn’t turn him in for saying bad words, I knew he was in the clear!
Amusingly enough, the accused child is now officially an adult (18) and really doesn’t swear a’tall. His little brother doesn’t swear where we can hear it. ;-D But then again, that’s his parents’ m.o. too.
June 24th, 2009 at 9:25 amoh, my, how I love his hair! long and blond — when did that happen? and the dimples! and the grin!
you and your husband grow some damned adorable kids!
June 24th, 2009 at 9:59 amHoly shit, that kid is cute!
June 24th, 2009 at 11:52 ami’m a mormon and going to add “but” to our list of do-not-says. we use bootie all the time–don’t you think it’s nicer than butt?
June 24th, 2009 at 3:40 pmbut they are still just babe magnets.
Chris says: he doesn’t need guns, he has dimples
June 24th, 2009 at 3:41 pmThat is absolutely the CUTEST little boy I’ve ever seen! He rocks the gun show! Hehe.
June 24th, 2009 at 3:59 pmThis is hilarious! I can totally picture my 2 year old doing something like this in the future!
June 24th, 2009 at 6:07 pmAs I have a 14 year old of my own I can just imagine it was said with a very dry tone… way too funny. And as for your other two well they are the cutest kids, poles and guns.
June 24th, 2009 at 6:10 pmAnother mormon here…apparently alot of us read your blog! I’m adopting the “but” rule. That is fantastic!
June 24th, 2009 at 8:06 pmLOL! I can totally see my 7 year old climbing up a lamppost, too. And he wouldn’t even be a dollar richer for his effort.
June 24th, 2009 at 10:52 pmOh my word! I just laughed until I cried at the “holy shit” comment. Did you spit out your coffee when he said that??
June 25th, 2009 at 9:09 pmLook at his HAAAAAAAIIIRRRRR. That was awesome.
Mormon here too… and that exchange really cracked me up. Awesome.
June 28th, 2009 at 5:12 pmmy God! I love his hair. little surfer boy
June 29th, 2009 at 5:16 pmSince I am Mormon and live in the same suburbs as you, I am totally wondering if I know that Mormon family. I probably go to church with them.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:05 pm