Conversations from 4 to 14
July 13, 2009
The voice of reason.
Miles: I want you to buy me a necklace. I want a peace sign necklace, too.
Me: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Miles: WAH WAH WOE IS MEEEEEEEEEEEE.
6yr old daughter: Miles, you don’t even LIKE peace.
********
This can’t end well.
Daughter to Miles: Want to play punch buggy?
Miles: Sure!
Sounds of scuffling and hitting from the back seat. And the inevitable crying.
Daughter: Miiiiii-les, you are only supposed to punch someone when you see one of those buggy cars.
Miles: What?
Turns out all this time Miles thought the game punch buggy was just an excuse to beat the crap out of your siblings.
*******
14 yr old son: So my friend was telling me that he drinks protien shakes every day after he works out.
Me: Oh yeah?
14yr old: Do you think that you could get me some?
Me: I suppose I could do that. Do you know what kind he has? I assume he likes it if he told you about it, right?
14 yr old: Ummm, I think it was called Levitra?
Me: (DYING LAUGHING) I do NOT think it is called Levitra.
14yr old: Why?
Me: That is a medication. They advertise it on tv? For men with, um, erectile dysfunction?
14yr old: Wait, what?
Me: (edited for this blog, but imagine a graphic and slang laden description of what exactly erectile dysfunction is. That is how the teenagers talk, yo.)
14 yr old:Hahahahahaha. I am glad I didn’t say that to anyone else.
Me: (here I act out him strutting around): Imagine you walk into the weight room. “Hey guys, I’ve been taking Levitra. Can you tell?”
14 yr old: Hahahahaha.
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Awesome! I’m going to laughing about that one for days!
July 14th, 2009 at 12:43 amSo it sounds like the ban on you writing about him has been lifted? Maybe just a little bit? Sounds like you’ve got a fine young man there…I think he’s on the road to making some girl out there very happy someday. Uh, er, and that has no correlation to the whole Levitra thing…just the fact that recently conversations with him that you transcribe here for us all to see, make your eldest son sound like he has a great sense of humor & respect for his mother…and really, aren’t those two characteristics the building blocks of a great man?
July 14th, 2009 at 1:37 amMe: DYING LAUGHING!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 2:21 amHahahaha!! That IS too funny.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:22 amAnd glad you still share such moments with your teenage son.
Funny blog today!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:32 amVery funny! Our three girls, who are now adults, used to fight ALL.THE.TIME in the car and it would drive us nuts. So, our solution, when they were old enough, was to tell them, “If you continue to fight Dad is going to stop this car and he and I are going to make out like teenagers!” They laughed and didn’t believe us. They fought, we stopped the car and started to make out, they were totally grossed out and the fighting stopped. Worked like a charm, and they all think it is hilarious now.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:37 amHa! Loved all of these! Thanks. I do love listening to the conversations my kids have, between the argueing anyway.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:57 amAnnnnd now the diet coke is all over the computer screen…
July 14th, 2009 at 8:04 amThanks for a great laugh!
ME: DYING LAUGHING TOO! I have the picture in my head:):):):):):):):):):):):)
July 14th, 2009 at 8:12 amGood one DebbieQ, I’ll have to try that!!! Ha!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:27 amI am dying laughing! That sounds so much like my teenager! They are such cool dudes.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:32 amI have A LOT of peace sign necklaces left over from a party - might I send you a few? Bc what’s more fun than plastic crap coming in the mail?!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:56 amChris I might pee my pants laughing. Your son walking into the weight room proclaiming his new muscles are from levitra. i am still laughing…
July 14th, 2009 at 9:03 amHahahahah - I haven’t had a laugh like that in…. well, a long time :o) Thank you and thanks to your son :o)
July 14th, 2009 at 9:48 amBetween the 14 year old and DebbieQ I’m starting my morning laughing out loud while at the computer. A great way to start the day. Thanks both of you.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:02 amthat IS the reason to punch buggy!
and Im dying of laughter over your 14 yo. my son would make the same mistake
July 14th, 2009 at 10:03 amOh that’s HILARIOUS. Too many commercials floating around in his head! LOL!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:25 amMy 11 year old and I on a drive to town one day (a couple of years back)
He: Mom, is there an Army Surplus store around here anywhere?
Me: I don’t know. Why do you want to go to an Army Surplus store?
He: I want to look for some IUD’s.
Me: (Thanking God I was stopped at a light and not sipping a drink) WHAT????
He: Maybe IUD’s is the wrong word. Maybe I am thinking of BVD’s.
Me : BVD’s are underwear. Why do you want underwear from an Army Surplus store?
He: I don’t want underwear. I noticed Ben’s (older brother) favorite army pants are wearing out, and I thought I would try and find him some new ones.
Me: Ohhhh. Those are called BDU’s.
He: Yeah, that’s it. BDUs.
(I may have explained the BVD’s, but I never went back to the IUD’s. Some things an 11 year old boy just doesn’t need to know.)
July 14th, 2009 at 10:29 amDebbie Q–I’m totally sticking that in my back pocket to pull out when my kids are teens. That’s awesome!
July 14th, 2009 at 11:14 amOnce when the 4 kids were fighting in the car, we stopped on a gore point on the freeway to calm things down. Well the Highway Patrol stopped to see what was the matter. That sure quieted the kids and we never had any more problems in the car after that. They were sure that the officer was after them!
July 14th, 2009 at 11:18 amBwahaha!
July 14th, 2009 at 11:22 amThat last story is SO funny. I love your family.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:29 amLOL — those are great!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 12:05 pmyou have the best blog EVER.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:09 pmFYI, you might want to check the cholesterol amount in the protein shake that you buy. Some of them have an amazing large amount (considering how much might get consumed). You would think such a shake would be healthier than that.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:38 pmOMG, I can just imagine him trying to impress some girl at school by telling her he takes Levitra every day and it’s really been helping him.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:06 pmHA HA HA - I don’t know which I found funnier.
Things are always rollicking at your house aren’t they? (And I love that your 14 yr old son can have that kind of convo with you. You are doing something right!)
July 14th, 2009 at 4:13 pmHysterical!!
And I’ve been reading for years… and I may have missed this- but why do we know Miles’ name and not your other kid’s names? Just a random wondering thought.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:32 pmoh yeah- and around here it’s called slug bug — not punch buggy. why are slugs so much harder??
July 15th, 2009 at 9:39 amI’m so glad you actually told him what Levitra was. When I was a teenager, my mother would have died of embarrassment and I would have strutted into the gym talking about my Levitra use.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:52 pmThat was the best! I love your 14yo. Its totally awesome you can talk with him like that.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:40 pmI SO hope I can talk with my sons like thst when they’re older.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm