In Which I Piss Off Lots of People and Do Not Care
July 26, 2009
I am not a mommyblogger. I have never definied myself that way in the past, though others have. As if the very act of pushing a baby out of your vagina automatically makes “mommying” be the sole thing that defines you.
I have been writing and deleting the same few sentences over and over again. Trying to encapsulate this weekend at BlogHer.
From the bloggers who thought it was perfectly acceptable to to get in your face, interrupt your conversations, and tell you who sponsored them to come to the event. No one cares.
to the bloggers who stampeded the parties and hotel rooms grabbing bags of swag with no regard to other people (INCLUDING A BABY WHO WAS ELBOWED IN THE HEAD!),
to the people who started the Nikon hates babies bruhaha because a mother with a small baby was not permitted into a party that Nikon was holding at a bar. Because it is the policy of the bar (something to do with the liquor license I believe, but I could be wrong. Also, it doesn’t really matter why the bar didn’t want a baby there.) Nikon doesn’t hate babies. Nikon probably didn’t think that anyone was going to bring their infant to a crowded noisy invite only party at a bar.
I am not being all judgy here, either, honestly I am not. I really do not care what anyone does or doesn’t do with their own children and babies. (People I happen to like and respect very much brought their babies and handled it with grace.) But you are not entitled to anything. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you are.
To all of those people I say, “Shame on you!”
Shame on you for once again bringing the entire community into a negative light. That we are a bunch of silly women with nothing more important to do than get our panties all tied up in a knot.
Shame on you.
*****
I didn’t come home with bags and bags of swag. Not that I wouldn’t have liked a couple of the things that were being given away. But there was no way that I was going to associate myself with people who had such a feeling of entitlement and complete disregard for other people, not to mention behaving in a completely unprofessional manner A little tip here… if you want to be treated as a professional, you have to behave like one.
I didn’t go there with the intention of getting free stuff. I went to sit in on panels, to maybe learn a few things, to catch up with old friends, to become re-inspired to hone my writing skills and be a better writer.
Instead I went home thinking that no one had better ever associate me with “mommyblogging” again.
I am not really sure how the past few years of blogging have devolved so far. How as a community we seem to have moved away from good writing to product grabbing, endorsements, and money, money, money. What happened to the story-telling? What is up with the sex toys at a professional conference? Isn’t this a professional conference? Or is it girls gone wild meets Black Friday bargain hunters? To quote my lovely friend Susan, “Professional development and dildos do not go together. Unless you are a porn star. The End.”
I have talked to many, many, many, many, many many friends about this over the past year. When will all of this end?
This past weekend, Susan, Melissa and I were sitting in our hotel room.
“I think that in the end good writing will win out. It has to, right?”
“I used to think that too. Now I am not so sure anymore.”
We all breathed deep sighs and shrugged.
*****
I don’t want to think about SEO when I write titles to my blog posts.
I don’t want to insert words in my posts to make them more SEO friendly.
I don’t want to know what my readers want me to write about. It is my life. I don’t take requests like a DJ.
I began writing this blog as a way of sharing my story. My unique story of raising my children. I never thought anyone else would really read it aside from a few friends. I thought that one day I could point to it and my children would have a glimpse of what my life was like at this point in time. A glimpse of what their lives were like.
And you know what? All of you have stories to tell. They are all unique and fascinating in their own ways. I believe that good writing transcends our differences. I believe in all of you to write and tell your stories in your own voice. Don’t be distracted. Tell your story. That the reason marketers were interested in us in the first place. Focus on that. Please.
*****
Now I am going to make dinner for my kids. I am going to listen to them LOUDLY talk to me about the past few days when I was away from them. At one point I will wonder where the the waiter is with the tray of appetizers and wine refills. That would make motherhood so much easier, wouldn’t it? But then my ears will start to bleed from all the talking and I will be distracted.
Tomorrow will come and I will take photos like I do everyday. And then I will write something. Then I will do laundry, and cook, or clean, or any of the other millions of mundane tasks that I do everyday. I will swear too much, lose my patience, sigh loudly when my train of thought is interrupted for the hundredth time in an hour, but I will also laugh a lot. Probably more than most people. (At least that is what I tell myself. Shhhh, don’t spoil the illusion, it is what keeps me going)
At the end of the day I can hold my head up high because I never elbowed a baby in the head to get a purple vibrator.
Updated to add: Both Susan and Kristen have written about the same thing. Great minds and all. And so have Kelly and Liz.
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Would you have had a better time at home? A shame you had such a bad experience this year. Nothing good happened there?
Chris says: No, OF COURSE good things happened there. I just felt like I had to get this off my chest before I wrote about the other.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:27 pmThis was a great post.
I’m glad you’re going to keep on keepin’ on. That’s why I keep coming back.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:27 pmChris,
July 26th, 2009 at 8:34 pmOnce again it was a pleasure to see you. You are one very classy lady and I love all your posts whether you are paid or not! Love the pix too. You bring a little joy into my always crazy life. Stay the course! Cream always does rise to the top….no?
Great post, Chris! Thanks for always “keeping it real” and focusing on your life and your writing.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:37 pmAmen! (And one of the reasons I’ve never had a ton of interest in going to BlogHer. Well that, and no one really reads my blog outside of friends and family and I am very OK with that.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:43 pmEw. I just don’t want everyone to know the color of my vibrator, no free ones please. Definitely not worth elbowing a baby in the head.
I am not a professional blogger, but have been to art education conferences. People kind of go nuts for the free stuff there, too. However, it is free stuff related to art teaching, at least.
Just keep writing. I’ll keep reading.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:43 pmTwo thumbs up. WAY up.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:46 pmI, too, believe that good writing will win in the end. It just has to.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:47 pmI know what you mean. I miss it when it was smaller. You try to just take what you want out of the event but it’s frightening the entitlement and the desperate grasping for attention.
I think perhaps Blogher Business is an easier pill to swallow?
Still so glad I got to see you guys. Wish I’d had longer. Must get to Austin soon.
Oh and out west in October. That will be PERFECT. mark my words. Maybe we can help marketers shape things a way that is less grabby and terrifying? I don’t know.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:48 pmI think you can blame the bloggers who are in it for the free stuff only. They would be the same class of bloggers who also continually plagiarize posts. Plagiarism is also becoming a plague amongst bloggers.
Sorry parts of BlogHer were sucky, but can’t wait to read whatever it is you feel moved to write next.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:50 pmI hope the good writing wins out in the end, I’ve always enjoyed your story and photos.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:50 pmI managed to grab some cocktail-only tickets at the last minute (I live in Chicago) and was hoping to meet you! I got this same vibe from the group in general at the Friday night event and was dismayed. I did, however, also get to meet some people that I respect very much, so that was wonderful. Mixed bag, I guess, but the whole thing has me wondering whether or not to even bother anymore. Your attitude and sense of humor will take you a long way amongst the sea of swag-hags.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:51 pmI honestly don’t know what to say. This was inevitable from Blogher1 onward. The squeeing over swag, the constant posting about drunken parties and late night wanderings HAD to influence this current behavior. Every single conference it got a bit worse, with people bloggging weeks ahead of the conference about car trips and sponsors. You (the universal you, not you personally) did this to yourselves. You all promoted the swag, the sponsors, the parties way more than anything else about the conferences. In fact, if you follow the twitter streams, you see almost nothing even mentioning a session’s content, just squeeing about this event and that person’s shoes…
I’ve said it every year since the first BlogHer that the way the attendees describe the social aspects and don’t even touch on the other content makes it seem incredibly unprofessional. When people that attend comicon describe their conference with less partying, it makes me wonder.
As a mother who isn’t a drinker or a party goer by nature, I could never see the purpose of BlogHer, especially when I read about the people that actually paid money NOT to attend the sessions, but just to attend the parties? WTF? If you want the organization to look professional, the face of the conference needs to change. Blaming the newbies who attended this year and pushed and shoved for swag isn’t really fair. It’s what they have seen of the conference on the blogs they’ve read in the past. It’s what they know about the conference. Swag is important.
I see this as a teachable moment for all attendees, experinced and not, to look at the way the conference is portrayed and to make changes, if you do want to look professional. If you just want parties, be honest about it.
Now everyone attack me because I dare to have an opinion. Can’t wait.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:55 pmVery well said!
July 26th, 2009 at 8:56 pmBut someone is allowing the dildo marketers to be there, right? Isn’t that entity responsible? Just curious. I agree, it should be a professional conference, with the side benefit of being able to meet the other writers we read and admire. So who exactly is permitting all the commercialism? BlogHer?
July 26th, 2009 at 8:57 pmtwo things
first what is SEO???????????????????????????????
second you are a great writer and take wonderful pictures and that is what makes this blog AWESOME
Keep doing what you do. We love your work.
Chris says: SEO= search engine optimization. Basically using the “right” words to help search engines like google find your blog
July 26th, 2009 at 8:59 pmI’ve never been courted by a company to advertise for them; I’ve never seen my ratings; I’m just not interested in all that. I guess never having been introduced to this whole ugly under-belly of marketing to mommy bloggers, I don’t understand it. I write my blog to tell my stories, and exercise my brain a little bit. I read your blog to hear your stories. I do both to come in contact with moms who have become part of my society. A friendly, supportive society. I DO think good writing will prevail…and those bloggers will be the ones that last long enough to encourage new bloggers. I hope.
After all, yours was the first blog I ever read, and your writing is so approachable and unique that I was encouraged to blog too. Thanks for that inspiration.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:01 pmOne of my very good friends and I often talk about different things that you write that make us laugh. It’s funny, initially, because it is something that we can relate to; but it has EVERYTHING to do with your style of writing. And I, for one, am thankful for the great writing you do!
July 26th, 2009 at 9:07 pmLOVE IT. you rock, woman.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:08 pmLove this post. I’ve been mulling this same thing over and over for several months. It’s good to hear others whom I respect say the same thing.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:08 pmChris
July 26th, 2009 at 9:15 pmFor what it’s worth I’ve never thought of you as a “mommyblogger”. I have no children, so you may wonder what it is that keeps bringing me back to your blog, and of course it’s the quality of the writing and the clever way you tell your story. I love what you have to say
This is something I’ve been noticing a lot myself, as a blog reader not a blog writer. (Although hopefully someday some sort of writer, but that’s neither here nor there.) The endorsements, endorsements, endorsements. And endorsements!
Now, I’m not one to begrudge someone making money from their writing. Absolutely not. Writing is a craft, but it’s also a profession. For sure, get paid! But, often, I’ve felt like I’ve been reading ads THINLY veiled as a blog entry, rather than someone’s unique, interesting story.
That said: I’ve stopped reading those blogs. I certainly haven’t stopped reading yours. Good writing always wins out in the end.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:18 pm“And you know what? All of you have stories to tell. They are all unique and fascinating in their own ways. I believe that good writing transcends our differences. I believe in all of you to write and tell your stories in your own voice. Don’t be distracted. Tell your story. That the reason marketer’s were interested in us in the first place. Focus on that. Please.” From above Post
This paragraph is the one that hit me the hardest because isn’t what blogging is supposed to be about.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:25 pmThis commercializing of bloggers is carrying over to many areas of the blogosphere, and it’s not pretty. It comes to a point were the business people looks at the blogs and think “how can we make that work for us?” And, unfortunately, in the beginning we’re all to excited for attention, a free thing or two. At what point do we realize that we’re being played? At what point does the writing lose to an ongoing informercial?
I’ve kept you in my blogroll for years - one of my few non-book blogs- because I like your writing, your photos, your way of capturing a story. I’m glad to see you remain true to yourself.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:28 pmChris,
I’ve always enjoyed your blog, in fact, I love it. It is one of probably 5 that I check in on every day. At first I checked in because you lived in the Northeast and I saw glimpses of a life that I thought only existed in the movies (Texas is so completely different, you know) but then I got hooked into your wonderful writing. You and your kids have made me laugh and even choked me up a few times. It is exactly what I always thought blogs were supposed to be. I’m honored that you share with us.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:29 pmOK, you’ve made me feel better about not being able to go to Blogher this year….and reminded me of what I didn’t love about last year too…
Meeting you and Shannon and Stephanie and other great people was what I enjoyed most last year.
Mary
July 26th, 2009 at 9:35 pmI was there (how could I not be, I live in Chicago), and I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you. You pretty much summed up my experience…something I’ve been trying to get the guts to write on my own blog.
I went to the Sponsored/Unsponsored panel and when they moderator asked if there was anyone there who DIDN’T think it was OK to accept money in exchange for a product review, I was THE ONLY PERSON who stood up. Really.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:36 pmthat poor baby.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:36 pmWell I quite enjoy your writing and I am glad you don’t plan to change for others.
I am shocked people feel it is ok to interrupt others and be rude. Sadly these “mommy bloggers” are raising our future generation! Which frankly is quite scary.
Maybe I will see you at Blog Her 2010 but I promise not to interrupt you…
Have a great week!
July 26th, 2009 at 9:43 pmVery well written, Chris! I have to admit that every year when I hear that BlogHer is rolling around, I just sit and wait for the ‘firestorms’ to follow. And I agree, from an outsider’s perspective, most times it just ends up looking like a convention of silly women catfighting and acting as though they are still in high school. Very sad.
I’m glad you were able to enjoy time with your friends and other aspects of BlogHer, however. Thank you for always keeping it real on your blog.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:45 pmInterestingly, you aren’t the only blogger who has commented in that vein about BlogHer…others I read have also said the same thing about the rudeness of those who felt they were “entitled” to behave poorly and collect large swags of “toys”. There has also been one blog I have read from a woman who professed that she was there to round up the loot on offer, at any cost. Don’t think I’ll go back to that one, well possibly once or twice, just to confirm that I am doing the right thing by staying away.
Keep writing the way you do Chris…that’s what we (and I think I can speak for most of your readers here) keep returning for…that and your terrific photos…and Miles of course.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:47 pmUgh, that last line really said it all. I hope the baby was okay! Some people really suck. Sorry about the negative experiences. I’ll be glad to hear some of your good experiences there.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:50 pmGood writing will out, just like truth usually does. I’m sure there were many who felt as you do at the meeting, the others just make a lot more noise. You are right, they do give “mommy bloggers” a bad name. Funny, I never thought of you as a mommy blogger, just a young woman who had skills and needed a place to use them, who had a life interesting to all of us who read you. I wish I had at least kept a journal when I was young and had children at home. This is your journal and you are allowing us access to it, to share your joys. Thank you very, very much.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:51 pmI agree with most of this post…but have to say, it’s become more about money for some of the blogs I read because of the recession, and for some, money is tight. When you’re struggling to figure out how to pay your bills, you don’t have the luxury of writing just for the pleasure of it.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:54 pmI hope the good times did negate all the bad vibes.
And speaking of vibes! I think dildos would be a good professional development tool if you were a host on the Shop Erotic channel. You should see how those women talk about various gizmos and gadgets. Just sayin’.
July 26th, 2009 at 9:56 pmThe whole SEO for personal blogging has always baffled me. I use SEO tactics on the blogs for which I am paid, my JOB blogs. I do that because that’s how marketing for professional paid blogs works,
But I never EVER use SEO when I’m writing a story about my life, my family, my dreams, my whatever on my own personal blog. What’s the point? I don’t want a bunch of marketers reading because of a good use of SEO just so they can pitch a product to me and then never come back - I write on my blog for people who care enough to read it and read it tomorrow, and the day after that.
I can’t wait to hear about the good stuff! Now that I’ve heard next year’s is in NYC I want to go even more than ever!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:08 pmYou Go Girl!!!!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:20 pmPerfect post, Chris. Absolutely perfect.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:29 pmMy son and I had a conversation about this tonight, coincidentally. It went like this:
Jake: “Mom, do you make money off blogging?”
Me: “No.”
Jake: “But COULD you?”
Me: “Ya, I could. Lots of people do. It’s a lot of work, and they really have to go out there and GRAB it.”
Jake: “So why don’t you?”
Why don’t I?
I have the exact same philosophy as you. I am in blogging about my life because it’s MY LIFE. I blog because I live and breathe for WRITING.
ONLY writing. I mean if someone wanted me to write a book, or give me an iPod Touch (which I have been admiring from afar), I wouldn’t say no. Of course! But the reason I do it, the reason that I put in all the hours and blood, sweat, and tears are the stories inside me that just ache to be told. They beg to be released, like butterflies, and I just HAVE to do it.
If I never become famous, never have Ford give me a car to review or get a sponsorship to Blog Her, I don’t care. Really. I don’t. They can keep their swag.
Telling the stories is more than enough. I just hope that one day, I have the chance to go to Blog Her too.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:33 pmExcellent post. I love reading your blog and I love your pictures. You and one other were the reason I started my own blog. Not so anyone would read it but so I could document some of these stories and pictures for my kids.
Hold your head high and keep doing what you are doing!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:33 pmWhy is it that whenever these groups gather and people who to connect with like-minds, it goes wrong? Guess I’ll just hang here in Minnesota and keep a low profile.
Sorry you missed out on the purple vibrator, though!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:34 pmChris, I’ve always kind of wanted to go to BlogHer, but every year it seems that the bad sort of balances out the good rather than the good outweighing the bad. I have never worried about search engine optimization or any of the other ideas designed to boost traffic. And no, my blog isn’t well-known, but I don’t do it for readership numbers or sponsorship and advertising. I do it for the reasons that you do it. I, too, am so disheartened by the commercialization of it all, and what it has done to women who blog (whatever their blog topic or type). I continue to admire your dedication to keeping it like you want it, to elevating your writing to a new level, and to honoring your family through it. (I sound like a total fuddy-duddy, but I swear I’m only 50% fuddy-duddy.)
July 26th, 2009 at 10:36 pmYa know, the convention/conference frenzy has always bugged the hell out of me. The butt kissing, the plastered-on smiles, the aching feet. You got this right and I’m glad you wrote it. The writing really is what it’s all about and I agree that we lessen ourselves with the focus off of our writing. I write because I love it and it keeps me sane. And I love to read your writing because it makes me laugh, along with you and takes me out of my insane kid world and into yours…for 3 minutes here and there. Keep it up..,you’ve got it dialed!
July 26th, 2009 at 10:41 pmGreat post. Thank you.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:49 pmYep, I miss you (and your brilliant opinions) already.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:17 pm1. I heart you Chris.
2. It seems to me that for a while, mommyblogging was sort of a pejorative term because it was an oversimplification of what mothers who wrote did etc. But now it has become pejorative in the sense that it is associated with this kind of behavior. And that is just really unfortunate.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:19 pmI clicked on your blog from Kristie Escoe’s……Finally, someone who “tells it like it is.” I actually belly laughed when I read your post because I can so, so, SO see something like this happening at the BlogHer conference. Of all the online communities I frequent, I find, unfortunately, that the “mommy” type boards are filled with the most negative and catty posts of any other types of communities. (WAHM.com comes to mind first). I am not at all surprised by the rudeness of some of those woman you encountered and applaud you for your honesty and your writing talent.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:22 pmI too am one of those people who comes away from things with no “swag” because I am ashamed to be associated with the greedy people who are pushing their way through the crowds as if their life depended on that free tote bag. Good for you!
July 26th, 2009 at 11:39 pmI have always wanted to go to a BlogHer conference, thinking it may be great to meet up with other women who enjoy blogging. However, my lack of children (yet) and the fact I don’t advertise on my blog held me back, made me feel like I did not have a right to go and mingle with these much more important bloggers. Your post describes something else that would have made me uncomfortable since I do not see myself as someone who would have enjoyed that particular scene. I would wish for the experience you described. Meetin people with common interests and swapping our very normal everyday stories.
I can only hope the materialism diminishes and this wonderful opportunity returns to what it is meant to be. An event to celebrate women bloggers. Thanks for sharing your perspective. As always, your posts are one of the highlights of my day and you would certainly be one blogger I would love to meet. And not interrupt you to do so.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:40 pmWow, what did I MISS? I keep reading everywhere about this baby getting elbowed in the head because of the mad stampede towards the swag bags, and I keep thinking wow, that doesn’t seem like the BlogHers I’ve been to in the past. Sounds like it was pretty crazy this year…
July 27th, 2009 at 12:14 amI’m seeing this frustration be discussed on more and more of the blogs I read. I’m sorry it’s happening. Growing pains of a community I guess. Hopefully the good outweighed the bad at BlogHer.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:15 amJust keep on telling your story, Chris. That’s why I love coming here nearly every day . . . to hear about your life raising those beautiful children. Good writing has to win out in the end!
July 27th, 2009 at 12:32 amSounds like college, version 2.0. Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone got something out of it. But the similarities between those who rushed the party sorority and those who sought professional development ends there.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:57 am“Don’t be distracted. Tell your story.”
July 27th, 2009 at 2:30 amAll wonderfully said. I think it is good to think about why you write (if you write) and to remember why you wanted to do it in the first place. It probably wasn’t to get a free Swiffer Wet Jet.
My perception has always been that there are people who are interested in getting blog hits, doing product endorsements, optimizing for search engines — and those people are bloggers. And then there are people who are interested in telling stories, and those people are writers. The bloggers get hits, but the writers get readers. I’d like to think that explains something about why people behaved the way they did, but maybe it doesn’t. Which is to say: I’m glad that you do this thing you do in the way that you do it.
And, okay, fine, if I’m being 100% honest, my original intent for this comment was to be a brilliant, satirical defense of the vibrator itself, but there was no way to tackle that without ending with the line “What did the purple vibrator ever do to you?” and that is inappropriate.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:59 amWow…I guess some of those ladies don’t get out much…I am trying to imagine a reason for such weird aggressive behavior…
July 27th, 2009 at 3:31 amIt is a sorry fact of life that when large groups of women get together someone will see it as a chance to sell us something, whether we want it, need it or like it. I’m going to a convention here in Australia in August and the first time I went we got a name tag, the next year they had goody bags woo hoo I was so pleased, then they got more commercial and after a while I was asking “what does this product have to do with us?”. I blame the organisers for selling out. Greeeeeeeed is at the root of it all.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:03 amThanks for being honest - and keep telling your story = that’s why I stop by here and read. And why I have stopped stoping by other blogs b/c to them it’s all about the money.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:34 amI want to hear a story - not be encourageed to spend money!
Ugh, I assumed swag was handed to attendees as they checked into the hotel or something. I’d never even bother trying to get any in that kind of atmosphere!
Is there anything the organizers can do to make it actually a PROFESSIONAL conference? Or maybe they don’t care that it looks like a bunch of silly, greedy, lowest-common-denominator types so long as they get their requisite number of attendees . . .
July 27th, 2009 at 7:09 amSuch a shame! I was actually wondering if I wanted to go there, not for the free goodies, or the mommy blogs, I mean come on my son is a teenager and he really doesn’t want me telling what he is doing everyday with the world. For gosh sakes mom he says, “that’s what Facebook is for” LOL
Hope you had a good time with your friends and look forward to reading about the different ideas for writing!
July 27th, 2009 at 7:25 amSo what exactly is the definition of a mommyblogger if it’s not someone who posts, on an nearly daily basis, almost exclusively about their kids and parenting experiences?
July 27th, 2009 at 7:38 amThis was my first BlogHer, and I definitely heard all the controversy. I would LOVE to see BlogHer (or the attendees but something tells me that it won’t be the attendees who change) clamp down on either the kind of swag (keep it to a certain very low dollar amount) or how it is distributed (no stampedes).
And, more writing workshops would be great for those of us who care about the words we put on the page and not the impressions we get for advertising purposes.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:07 amYikes, makes me glad I didn’t go! I used to want to go to BlogHer, at least in theory, but could never afford it. Over the past year or two my desire to go has totally faded away. My perception (very rough, from the outside, of course) had come to be that BlogHer tended to be quite superficial, materialistic, and cliquey. I could be wrong–I’ve never been to it, after all–but your post today makes it seem like I’ve got the right idea, at least somewhat. By the way, I love your blog, whatever category it falls under. It’s hilarious and touching and the photos are great!
Chris says: That is what bothers me the most– that there is this perception the whole conference is meaningless. That is always what gets talked about. Most people are not like those I mentioned. And I have never found Blogher to be cliquey or exclusive. In fact I have found the opposite to be true.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:13 amThis saddens me. I thought that I wanted to be a part of the bigger blogging community but now I don’t think I want to. I like blogging about work, my child, my life but I had no idea things were getting so out of hand. I thought I wanted to be a part of the next BlogHer but now I’m not sure I do. Thank you for your insight.
Chris says: There was a small segment of the conference that was like this. Don’t let it color your views of the overall conference.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:19 amI am still gathering my thoughts on this but I just want to say that I love you.
Sponsorship doesn’t “make us” behave like this - either integrity is in you or it’s not. I don’t blame the sponsors for a bit. I blame assholes.
Chris says: And I hope everyone reads Liz’s brilliant post about blogging with integrity. And then signs the pledge.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:29 amFWIW, I come here for the writing. As a single, childless professional, you’d think I’d have nothing in common with you, therefore no reason to keep coming back. The passion, love, humor and occassional exasperation with which you write about your family draws me in, gives me a glimpse of another side of life. I don’t think of you as a “mommyblogger”, but as another woman who is just trying to figure out this crazy thing called life, and to leave a record to show she was here, she tried and she did a darn good job.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:50 amReason number five thousand and one why I didn’t go to BlogHer — I have no idea what “SEO” is? You know, in theory, a BlogHer conference is a great idea. Women getting together to talk about writing. But I think it’s when the corporate sponsors got involved that everything started to go to hell (this is from an outsider’s perspective of course, having never been).
July 27th, 2009 at 8:58 amI just wanted to say how nice it was to meet you at Sparrow on Thursday.
And since this was my first conference, I can not comment on the evolution of the swag behavior, but what I witnessed was appalling to me. I was certainly not going to fight anyone over a tote bag. I think we all like to have meaningful (not junk) free things, but the “get something for free just to be getting something” attitude is a little ridiculous. Fighting with party sponsors because there was nothing left for them is rude and unprofessional. Taking 10 of things because you think you can get away with it is frankly rude. I know I wouldn’t ever tell my child to go up to the cookie tray at a party and grab five cookies before everyone else just so they could say they got free cookies, so why would I want to conduct myself in this manner?
July 27th, 2009 at 9:06 amChris I check your blog everyday to see what interesting things you and your family have been up to. I don’t even have kids yet, but reading your blog is entertaining and educational!
I do hope you’re right and that good writing wins out in the end. I have thinned out my blog reading recently to the blogs that truly have character and fun. Yours definitely meets those criteria.
I’m glad that in the end you did have a good time at Blogher. Hopefully people will be better behaved in the future?
July 27th, 2009 at 9:15 amI’ve been blogging both personally & professionally for over 6 yrs and have never been to Blogher. I thought I wanted to go this year but in the end couldn’t afford it and I wasn’t willing to be sponsored. That just doesn’t work for me.
It’s inexcusable for people to be hurting others to get free crap.
Not sure I want to be in this “mommy blogger” group anymore either.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:20 amI find it funny how you are so adamant about the fact that you are not a mommyblogger and then further in the post you write about your kids. Not to mention the fact that 95% of your posts involve your kids, and feature pictures of your kids.
It’s almost like you’re thinking being called a mommyblogger is an insult. Like somebody just spewed some racial epithet at you and you’re now cringing and roaring in damnation! You ARE a mommyblogger. Almost ALL of your posts are centered around your kids - your kids’ life - food you make for your kids - etc etc etc.
Being called a mommyblogger is not an insult. And the fact that you take it that way is THE insult.
It’s not the sole thing that defines you. But lately it seems to look like it, doesn’t it? Check your archives.
I’m not going to stop reading your blog because I do enjoy your writing. But call a spade a spade. Geez.
Chris says: This post was more about not wanting to be associated with the community of “mommybloggers” that I saw at this conference than my hatred for the term “mommyblogger.” That would be a whole different post.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:31 amI’ve been reading your blog for years, and just started blogging a little over a year ago. I blog for me. I tried the “product review” route and even though I know there are bloggers raking it in that way, it’s not me. I can’t make it be me. I’m in it for the story, not the SEO or swag.
Thanks for being real and honest about it. That gives hope to the “little guys” like me, we just keep plugging along.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:39 amI have started to follow “MommyBloggers” who were written about for there success stories, only to drop them from my RSS feed because it was all about the products (including their own) and not about their lives. Thanks for the perspective.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:07 amI’m glad so many new folks had such a lovely time. That gives me some hope.
I think for us, the ones that have been going since the beginning, it’s way more disheartening.
And also, when you’re online and on twitter, you can tune all this madness out by not reading, or not clicking or not following. But at BlogHer, it’s altogether in one big place.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:38 amChris - I love your blog! I find it to be laugh out loud funny and well written. Those are the two reasons I read it. I don’t find most other blogs out there to hold my attention, so kudos to you (if my attention matters!).
July 27th, 2009 at 10:46 amOne good thing came out of all those swag hags, I’m finding a lot of new, good blogs to read as a result of the ensuing outrage :).
I wasn’t there. I’m new to this whole public blogging thing and I don’t really expect people to read my stuff. I write because I have to and because I want to. I don’t know if BlogHer is for me or not, but I do know that if I decide to chance it, I’ll be there to learn and meet people I’ve admired from afar. Kind of the point of conferences in my experience (admittedly academic experience, but still).
July 27th, 2009 at 10:52 amHi. I fully respect your right to claim yourself and any titles attributed to you. But I am just curious as to WHY you refuse to accept the title mommyblogger? I realize as mothers, we are ALL a whole lot MORE than just *that* title, however isn’t your experience in motherhood the underlying focus of your blog? What do you prefer instead and why? I hope this doesn’t come off as attacking or rude. I am really just curious. PS Good writing WILL win out. In the end, I only end up at the blogs with good writing…(like yours!)
July 27th, 2009 at 11:05 amI have been reading your blog for over a year because you make me laugh, think, and simply ponder the stuff of life. When a story is especially hilarious, I read it to my husband (the son climbing the light pole, the daughter wanting to go to the church with the free candy for Easter, etc.). We are not parents, but adore our nephews and nieces.
I come to this blog for the writing, and for the insight on life. It’s not just yourself and your children that you write about, it’s human experience. So thank you for that.
My own blog is of a completely different genre. I blog to write, to give myself a daily discipline so I can actually get books and essays completed outside of the blog, to be in conversation with others about ideas. This post and the comments have challenged me to reinvigorate my own commitment to writing and blogging with integrity.
Thanks.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:07 amYou know, the first two years of BlogHer, I was excited about the possibilities of this new form of media/communication. I couldn’t afford the time out to the conference those years and life circumstances conspired to keep me out of the 3rd year.
Which was fine, because that year the conference sounded like…something I didn’t want to do.
Since then I’ve read coverage of the event, all that I can find, positive and negative. After this year…I’m not going, ever, and I don’t feel bad about that anymore.
I’m blog because I like it…because I’m a writer and it utilizes a different writing “muscle”. I don’t want to monetize my blog, commercialize my experience or up my readership. I still enjoy the BlogHer site and find it a rich source of support and interest.
The conference? Nope. Not for me. It’s too bad that a lot of this negative stuff leaves the impression that women can’t hold a conference that’s professional and supportive.
I know that’s not true because my profession is heavily slanted toward women and all the conferences associated with it are professional and informative. Even if “swag” is on offer. I also went to a women-only college and know that large groups of women can be professional and supportive, rather than hysterical and childish.
Very sad.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:10 amAnd I should have added that I KNOW the whole conference was not like this…that the offensive behavior was not representative of everyone there; but it’s the extremes that get talked about after.
What bothers me is precisely that the behavior of a few rotten tomatoes is what colors the perceptions of an event which should be viewed solely as a positive thing for bloggers, especially those who are writing professionally.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:15 amI don’t comment often, but I wanted to say thank you for this post. In my own life, I’ve seen people become so grubby for things that are free. I feel sick watching my mom and sister act this way, especially when I realize I used to be that way too. Thank you for talking about the fact that “free” does not always mean “must have”. It’s definitely not worth trampling people (and babies!)
I also want to tell you that I love reading your blog. I love that you write about your life, the good and the bad. I love seeing the pictures you take. Thank you, I hope you keep blogging for a long, long time.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:06 pmClap, clap, clap. So don’t love that sense of entitlement so many people today seem to have.
For the record, as a DJ of 15 years, we don’t take requests either. As a matter of fact, they kind of drive us nuts. We’re typically locked into what we can play and only play said requested song if it was already coming up anyway.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:20 pmIn my oh so humble opinion as an outsider looking in, this post isn’t all that surprising. Please please please understand that I know this behavior is not representative of all attendees of BlogHer. As I made my way around the “blogHer” blogosphere I read more posts about the parties and give aways than I did about any of the conferences or speakers. I knew more about the sponsors and the swag than anything of great importance or value.
July 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pmNow, will that stop me from reading blogs by BlogHer members? No, I am a member too even though I can not be called a mommy blogger.
Pushing one baby out of your vagina doesn’t make “mommying” the sole thing that defines you, but pushing seven out? Come on, people have to put you in a box when that happens, but really, who cares how other people define you? I’ve been called much worse things in my life, some of them by my own family.
Iknow you had to get it off your chest, but now everyone who read this thinks the blogher thing sucked, even though you keep telling them it didn’t.
The Pioneer woman went to that Nikon party and didn’t make one mention of the whole thing. And didn’t go to the party or bl
July 27th, 2009 at 1:35 pmthunder storn here..got confused with my last sentence …how embarassing!
July 27th, 2009 at 1:37 pmI have read your blog for about a year, and the reason I come to it again and again is I love the way you write and how you share the stories of your life with wit and humor and especially your “kiss my ass if you don’t like it this is my blog” attitude. Thanks for keepin’ it real.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:01 pm*she says very quietly*
But it was at this blog a few years back that I actually first read the word “Dildo” and I believe you ranked #1 on Google for the term “dildo ninja”…
Just sayin’.
*she says in normal voice level*
BTW, I read your blog because it is simply funny. It makes me laugh. Don’t have the faintest idea who those “mommybloggers” are and I don’t really care. Why do I need them if I have your blog to read?
July 27th, 2009 at 2:14 pmI love you blog. I always find it funny, thoughtful, and interesting. I’ve never thought of it as a mommyblog. Not that there is anything wrong with mommybloggers, it’s just not how I would classify your blog. I would like to believe that good writing will prevail, but I don’t know that, that is true. You’d like to think that people would stop reading that crap, but it’s still around so maybe not. It’s like bad reality tv it just won’t go away.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:23 pmAnyway, that’s beside the point. I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy your story and that I’m thankful that you take the time and energy to share it with us all. I love your pictures and your words are equally creative and endlessly entertaining.
P.S. I would say that we should have t-shirts that say, “Professional development and dildos do not go together.”, made up, but that wouldn’t be very professional. So I won’t.
I am a mommyblogger, sometimes, and I love this post.
The creme will rise to the top. At least that is what I tell myself.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:32 pmI was sitting at home looking at the liveblogs for some of the BlogHer sessions, and was sad that there wasnt’ more commentary. I was unable to attend, and had I been there, it wouldn’t have been to push and shove for swag, but to truly try to learn more about blogging and writing, to make my blog better or to see what is in the future for those of us blogging. I’m very nearly fresh out of college young and while swag carries some pull for me, it is NOT my reason for wanting to attend BlogHer 2010 or 2011 when I can make it.
July 27th, 2009 at 2:41 pmI’m a nobody blogger. I LOVE this post. You nailed everything right on the head. I come here to see what your life is like. I am the mother of one 3 1/2 year old girl and have days I barely make it out alive. Coming here is just fun for me.
You’re just fun.
If I ever come to Texas, wanna go shoe shopping?
July 27th, 2009 at 2:45 pmThank you for your honesty; thank you for your hard work; thank you for representing those of us who write for a living in the fine light you do. Thank you.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:41 pmI am reminded again how attractive it is to be real. Loved your post.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:44 pmSounds like BlogHer has turned into the physical manifestation of what we’ve seen happen online over the last 2 years… more and more people looking to make a buck or grab a freebie. Less and less people sharing their lives. Sad.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:49 pmI’m embarrassed to be associated with mom blogging, and I wasn’t even there. Also, was the baby elbower identified? Because elbowing a baby for a bag of free shit is ridiculous, and anyone that does it should possibly face public humiliation. Public humiliation is a fab form of punishment for an act so vitriolic.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:53 pmDJ Blogger - I’d like to request a post on making your kids do chores…… I laughed out loud when I read that part. I’ve never elbowed a baby in the head, but I’ve thought about pinching a 12 yr. old a few times!
July 27th, 2009 at 3:59 pmChris, I saw your response to my earlier comment and wanted to say, Good, I’m so glad to hear the conference in general is not as I had perceived it to be, from the outside. I look forward to hearing about the good parts!
July 27th, 2009 at 4:03 pmI loved your honesty (as usual)about this subject. I wanted to be there in Chicago but the ticket prices and then airfare and hotel room and I’m all like well do the kids and hubby REALLY need to eat next week and the answer was WELL I GUESS SO!!
I do not think of you as a mommyblogger (just in case a New Orleans girls opinion matters to you
I think of you as a brillant, funny, intelligent writer who has a BOAT load of adorable kids who enjoys writing about her life. The good the bad and the ugly.
Next time girl, you tell those UNGRATEFUL people who are sponsored by tom, dick and harry not to get so full of themselves, there’s always someone NEWER right around the corner!!
I’m glad you got to spend some good time with your girlfriends, that’s always the icing on the cake.
July 27th, 2009 at 4:35 pmPerhaps it is because I was simply at LobbyCon this year, but I didn’t see as much of this as I’m reading about now. I’ll free admit that I brought home (and loved) my fair share of swag from the Expo floor, but I was certainly not clamoring past people or elbowing anyone to get to it. I didn’t have to. The marketers were clamoring to get it into my hands anyway - it’s pretty much why they were there.
What I did see was a lot of why I went - connections. I was there to meet people, really. People old and new - some I sought out, others I stumbled on. It was a true pleasure encountering you, Chris. I hope I didn’t come off stalkerish along the way. Also? I have no idea what SEO means, but I don’t have time to find out. I’m too busy bookmarking all the great bloggers I connected with over the weekend.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:02 pmGood writing will win! I found your blog 4-5 months ago…and absolutely love it. You have inspired me to journal some of my mishaps in raising 3 boys (ages 26, 20, and 18). The good and the bad.
Peace to you and yours,
July 27th, 2009 at 5:52 pmgoliadyaya
Chris–Reading all the hype from others about going to Chicago last weekend, I started feeling all “why bother” about my blog. I couldn’t make the trip, so I began to doubt my relevance in the blog-world. After reading your post, I want to thank you for reminding me why I blog in the first place. I may have only seven documented followers, and one great friend (and fellow blogger) who is usually the sole comment on my posts. As I write this, being your 98th comment, I feel a renewed sense of faith in writing… blogging. I don’t do this for free stuff. I don’t do it to go on fancy weekends away (although I may sell a child for a weekend in Chicago. Oh, I kid…)And I certainly don’t do it for free dildos. I write so that anyone who wants a glimpse into my crazy daily life can have one, and maybe not feel so bad about something that happened to them that day. I write so that in the future, my kids will be able to also look back and see what I found memorable or funny. I write for me. And if anyone else wants to read, that’s great. Like you, I believe good writing wins in the end. Thank you for reminding me that’s what’s important.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:10 pmI didn’t go to BlogHer. I’ve heard little about the actual conference… much about everything else. I had about 10 people come to my blog yesterday and another 30 or so access my Feedburner feed in some way (no idea how)… I’m glad for everyone who stopped by… Sometimes I’d like to have more people reading… but the fact that 40 people, yesterday, wanted to read something I’d written? Pretty darned cool…
July 27th, 2009 at 6:13 pmChris- Well reasoned and insightful post (I have been listening to too much Prairie Home Companion!). I didn’t attend BlogHer, I am small time blogger, emphasis on SMALL so I didn’t see the things that you saw when there. I did hear about the Nikon brouhaha and figured that it was someone getting their “panties in a wad” about something that was unintentional. I cannot see Nikon intentionally snubbing a large and growing segment of their buying population. I can tell you, as a long time blog reader that if a blog strays into overt advertisement (and you can pick that up pretty quickly) I am so out of there. My time is precious to me and I don’t want to waste it on overt or covert ads. I read blogs for the stories that they tell me and the pictures that they show me and the way that they help me to grow. That would include your blog.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:36 pmWe can only hope that the shallow minds of the baby elbowers will cause them to lose interest and move on to the next obsession in their lives.
I think the blog pool needs a little chlorine.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:18 pmHey Chris,
I reacted to some parts of the BlogHer09 experience as you did– I felt that the emphasis on sponsors & free stuff distracted us from discussing how to be better bloggers and how to serve our communities. I also felt a little ‘out of it’ because I blog about progressive organizations and target an audience of thinking managers (which are but are not limited to many moms).
Most of all, I disliked the us/them dynamic that tinged me every time I saw a bus or elevator disgorge women with sub-cliquey swag bags. That would have bothered me less if it had been easier to link up with more bloggers who write about social issues, business, politics, leadership, etc.
That said, every single person I talked with was thoughtful, interesting, smart, engaging. It was a weekend of intense and genuine conversations for me. I learned a lot in these conversations, because people were so generous in their listening and suggesting… I wish that I could have focused my learning more in sessions and clusterings that were more in line with my reasons for blogging. So I think I’ll suggest some (okay, lots) of things for next year.
Would love your thoughts on my organizational analysis of the Swag dynamics, over at AuthenticOrganizations… cvh
July 27th, 2009 at 7:18 pmIt’s interesting to hear your perspective. Last year, when it was in SF, I got to participate via live-streaming, Second Life, reading Tweets. It was almost larger than life.
It barely made Trending Topics this year (due, I’m sure, in part to the greater number of users on Twitter). I had hoped to stumble on some video or podcasting but nothing so far.
I had planned to go next year but now I’m having second thoughts. I’m not a mommyblogger and I don’t write about products but about social trends & ideas. This emphasis on material gain & sponsorship really turns my stomach…what’s next, affiliate marketing sessions? I thought BlogHer was about writing, gender & politics.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:36 pmAh, I am subscribing to your blog because of this post.
I didn’t go to Blogher, maybe next year, but I’ll likely wait until it comes to the West Coast. And maybe by that time the whole weird world of blogging will have faded.
But I’m not going to stop. I love it too much. To take a moment and write each day about what I want is too precious.
July 27th, 2009 at 7:41 pmI am pretty new in the blogging world and fantasize about the day I really get a handle on all of this and get readership like yours. I have slogged through MANY “mommy blogs” and there are only a handful I read regularly (like yours) and I return to blogs for one reason only– the writing! From the other comments here, I know I am not alone. I guess it’s like any other writing or art form– commercialism and quality are often at odds, but there are the rare occasions when the twain do meet. I would love to get paid for something I love to do, like writing, and I imagine it would be easy to be seduced by the sponsorship and almighty dollar, so posts like these remind all bloggers to reevaluate their priorities! Just keep on keepin’ on!
July 27th, 2009 at 7:57 pmAmen
July 27th, 2009 at 8:14 pmI adore the first paragraph of this post. And I love your blog. I don’t have kids yet, and I’m sure a lot of the people who read don’t either. I hope that says something.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:20 pmI am a mum who is new to this whole blogging thing-(yes, I’ve been living under a rock) I don’t write a blog - but I have a few blogs which I read because they make me laugh, lift my spirits and connect me with (mostly) intelligent minds on the other side of the world. I am so naive I didn’t even fathom that people do it for the money, the sponsorship and all the fame it encompasses. For me it is a link to some great writing, enjoy how similar we really are the world over, and read about of all the things that connect us. I am amazed at how open people are with their blogs, and how it feels rather odd knowing all sorts of things about people and their families who I don’t even know.
However, I have learnt over the past hour reading through my usual bloglist, there are blogs which I will never read again. It takes admitting to elbowing a baby to get to a goody bag because “I deserved it” (you go you big deserver Ms. Ferrier) for me to take a big check on reading blogs written by the sort of people who are out there writing with warped values and egotistical ideals. You are right Chris, good writing will win out in the end. But good values make a hell of a difference when deciding what to read. For me, all the BlogHer comments have given all the readers out here a true insight into the REAL people behind their blogs.Keep up the good work.
Reader in New Zealand.
Chris says: You do realize that Lindsay was being sarcastic, right?
July 27th, 2009 at 8:23 pmAs always, I love love love seeing you and all my other friends at Blogher I’ve been out of touch with. Yes, I said FRIENDS. I’m disgusted with the grabby people, but most of all I’m disgusted that they’ve tainted what was otherwise an amazingly fun conference. The only swag I got had my NAME on it. I never felt entitled and you know what? I wouldn’t have even minded if those bags intended for me went to someone else. I loved the laughs, the hugs, the excellent conversation (and you and I both loved zee wine). I like to think that those of us who started blogging around the same time have a special place in our hearts for each other because back then it was all about supporting each others’ writing. For most of us it still is.
The good writing will win. It has to.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:51 pmWas this really a professional conference? I just wonder, because I’ve never seen moms with babies and toddlers in tow at any other professional conference I’ve attended. And I believe teachers and librarians are often moms …
If it’s not a professional conference, then maybe it is just a “let’s-call-it-a-conference-so-we-can-get-free-stuff” party.
I don’t know. I’m very confused by it all.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:43 pmChris,
I enjoy your writing very much. I was a bit disturbed by the “I don’t want to know what my readers want me to write about. It is my life. I don’t take requests like a DJ.” Your readers like your writing and may want your take on a certain subject or article. You do have your email address on the blog and “ask” to be contacted. If you don’t want your readers thoughts, then write a diary that is private.
Chris says: I think perhaps you misunderstood what I meant. I have no problem with someone asking my opinion on something. What I mean is using stats about what drew readers to my blog to shape what I write about. That is something that commercial blogs do.
So for instance let’s say you wrote a blog about socks. And you noticed that you were getting a lot of traffic from search engines looking for posts on long striped toe socks. You would then write a post about long striped toe socks. I just don’t think that this translates well into personal blogging.
July 27th, 2009 at 9:44 pmCould it be that perhaps blogging shouldn’t be considered a profession? I don’t understand the blogher concept at all. I’ve been blogging for 9 years now and this blogher stuff is just foreign to me. I like the good old days, when we’d blog just to blog and not for ad revenue.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:00 pmthanks for responding Chris! I did misunderstand …
July 27th, 2009 at 10:47 pm@margalit - “Blaming the newbies who attended this year and pushed and shoved for swag isn’t really fair. It’s what they have seen of the conference on the blogs they’ve read in the past.”
Insert requisite “so if everyone else jumps off a bridge argument” here. I’m sorry, but there is NO EXCUSE for the kind of behavior that’s been reported here. No one is responsible for your behavior but yourself.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:47 pmDitto, ditto, ditto Chris. And I will add two other things here:
1. There were fantastic moments of clarity for me and the women I spoke with (present company included) who have a deep desire to take this back and keep it classy.
and
2. Someone up there (the UP there first comments I started reading an hour ago) said that people didn’t mention the sessions. I must disagree. There were lots and lots of women who discussed the session I did with Karen, Heather, and Stefania and the level of discussion in that room was so intellectually high that I actually left in a ‘high’ myself.
Did I thank you for coming to that? I should. I have better manners than to forget that. Thank you.
Chris says: Kelly, no thank you for a fabulous session. It was one of the highlights for me. I plan on writing about that part of BlogHer… the good stuff, too. Once I recover from PukeFest ‘09.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:13 amI am so glad I’ve seen your post. I am very new to blogging, my site is a work in progress and hasn’t quite decided what it wants to be when it grows up. There is so much advice out there about what you should or shouldn’t do with your blog, all from the point of view of increasing traffic. As a result I feel I am doing everything wrong. Reading your post has helped me get back on track and remember that my priorities are honing my skills while writing about the things that interest or move me, not courting popularity. So thank you.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:32 amI read your blog and two others regularly, and for the record, you are all moms, but in my opinion, not one of you are “Mommy Bloggers”
I am someone who owns a online store, and my husband makes a living writing on the internet (not blogging
I for one am approached almost daily by aggressive “Mommy Bloggers” who not so gently demand product from our store, telling me that it would be my honor to be on their sites. In my experience, the good blogs to advertise on do not have to reach out like a hungry piranha to make demands. I have a very bad vibe when it comes to “mommy bloggers” who do this, and have NEVER seen you in this light.
I read your blog for the good writing
July 28th, 2009 at 7:42 amMy favorite line of this blog? “I don’t want to know what my readers want me to write about. It is my life. I don’t take requests like a DJ.” I’ve only recently been exposed to the whole “mommyblogger” concept, through a random Twitter connection. It seems to be a lot of drama. You sound like you’ve found a very grounded approach to your writing.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:44 amChris,
If you are a mommyblogger, then you are the “Roseanne” of all mommybloggers…you keep it real for the rest of us and are able to take the mundane and make it absolutely hilarious. You are a true jewel in this cubic zirconia blogsphere!
July 28th, 2009 at 11:01 amelbowing a baby in the head over a dildo? for real? classy! leading up to blogher I read about sponsors, who was going to be there, and what their wardrobes were going to be, I would have liked to hear what was going to be discussed, panels, and topics that are important… I think I am a mommy blogger and i’m okay with that, because in my “real” life it doesn’t define who I am, it’s just a piece of it.
Love your blog - your newest vomit post - hysterical!! be thankful it wasn’t cheesy puffs or oreos though!
So will there be a video surfacing of “blogher’s gone wild”?? lol
July 28th, 2009 at 11:05 amI’m just going to sit over here in the corner.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:59 amCorner corner corner.
Maybe I’ll order a pizza.
I like pizza.
And pizza didn’t pay me to say that.
I also hated the assumption of many people (sponsors) at BlogHer that if you aren’t a mommy, well then you just have nothing to write about.
But, more importantly, I loved sitting and chatting with you in the bar! I hope to meet you again!
July 28th, 2009 at 1:14 pmYou should read an article from “The Consumerist” about one of the attendees trying to extort a pair of crocs by telling the rep “..if you don’t give me shoes -I could totally write something bad about you on my blog.”
http://consumerist.com/5324719/dont-try-to-use-your-blog-to-extort-a-pair-of-crocs
Chris says: The only thing that surprises me is that it was Crocs.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:03 pmThis is the best blogher post I have read so far. Thank you.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:55 pmI definitely learned a good hard lesson this weekend by bringing my baby along with me and I do apologize if I did anything to cause anyone to think less of me by doing so. I really had no idea on some things and didn’t want to come across as entitled or selfish in any way. You could call me clueless. But not anymore.
Steph
July 28th, 2009 at 6:56 pmChris, I read your blog because you are a fantastic writer who tells stories that are humorous, honest and relevant to my life. And you take gorgeous pictures of your fabulous family. I don’t know what SEO is, I don’t care about products or buying things. THe content brings the readers. End of story. Keep up the good stories. We’ll keep reading and relating.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:58 pmI’m not gonna lie…the free stuff was nice. But it was TOTALLY not the main thing for me. As a matter of fact, most of that stuff was junk anyway.
The best part was getting to meet new people and getting to see old friends. And I really enjoyed having some time to explore the city without my kids. I never get a chance to have alone time like that. It was good to get away for a few days.
But I missed them, and I’m glad I’m home-with or without a free netbook, doll, game, or vibrator.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:00 pmAs I read this I kept nodding to myself thinking, this his someone who gets it. I’m tired of being told how to blog by the Copy Blogger and Pro Bloggers of the world. I knew I had had enough when Pro Blogger was telling people the best times of the day to post. “Never post over a holiday”. I lost it. Just lost it as I read that. How about posting when you have something meaningful to say? Great perspective. Honest writing. Subscribed.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:28 pmThis is my first time visiting you but I really enjoyed your post. I wasn’t at BlogHer and I do hope to be at the next one but what I’ve heard about this one (what you’ve mentioned here and I’ve seen ALL OVER the blogosphere) is a shame.
No matter what, we are to maintain our poise and professionalism. I definitely don’t want to be the one who is talked about after a professional conference.
Nuff said.
July 29th, 2009 at 10:34 pmDon’t know how i got here, but I loved this post so much I just had to comment. I’ve been a small-time blogger since 2005 and I feel like lately things have reached a fever-pitch. It just seems to be SO MUCH about brand, and sponsors, and I’m just wondering when that happened. For me, I started blogging to find community and it hasn’t let me down yet. I just hope it doesn’t turn into something else that’s icky.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:17 pmChris, I read your blog because you’re an amazing writer with such a unique voice, one that I relate to immensely. I’m thrilled for your blog success (really, all of your writing success.) I can only imagine how frustrating all that nonsense must have been at Blogher. Thank God for the wine and appetizers.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:12 amSo well said. (Also: hi! I’m the woman who (accidentally) called you “Ali!” and hug-accosted you in the lobby while you were walking out with Heather B. Sorry about that. I blame your lovely blonde hair, and the fact that I had been awake since 3am that morning.)
July 31st, 2009 at 12:58 amI have read up on Blogher and think that is a fantastic experience and event for professionals. Professionals. Not woman acting like children as you have blogged about, but women coming together to network, for fellowships, uniting their community of bloggers. I’ve read several posts regarding the baby and swag incident, and Nikongate. How is it acceptable for grown women, women who manage child rearing, mortgages, budgets, and careers to behave like that? It is sad that these women are creating an image and model for their daughters. The next generation of girls are going to suffer from that false sense of entitlement. Thank you for blogging about your experience honestly and tastefully. Thank you to you and your friends for voicing your disdain of such awful behavior, and shame on you ladies for behaving so horribly.
July 31st, 2009 at 2:14 amThis is the best post on the commercialization of blogs I have seen — you’ve articulated almost everything I have had trouble trying to put my finger on. Very well done!
July 31st, 2009 at 12:33 pmMike
And now you know why, after last Blogher, I walked away. I was disgusted and wanted no part of any of that. One year out and I still feel free, though I did miss the gabbing with friends part.
August 2nd, 2009 at 1:12 amGood for you Chris.
August 5th, 2009 at 6:17 pmYou keep it real, I’m a big fan of you.
Celly from New Zealand.
Wait, dildos and vibrators aren’t professional???
August 14th, 2009 at 9:08 pm