Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
October 17, 2009
It had been loose for awhile. Hanging in her mouth all crooked and twisted.
I am just going to reach in there and yank it out.
But we both know I won’t do it because pulling out teeth kind of makes my stomach turn.
It fell out while she was eating a tortilla smothered in Nutella. The baby tooth that cut her gums while she was still a nursing baby. The little tooth that bit my nipples bloody.
Today was one more cut in the umbilical cord. One more step away from the baby I can still see in her face.
You are never going to have that baby tooth again! Your new teeth are going to be permanent. And all big and goofy.
I say the big and goofy part in my head.
I’m going to miss your baby teeth.
Why? I’m going to grow new teeth.
Cue eye roll.
Well, at least we hope you are.
What?
Yesterday I had to bring my highschool aged son to school after a doctor’s appointment.
Do you have to walk in with me?
Yes, actually I do.
Cue eyeroll.
I laid my hand upon his forearm, one that looks like it belongs to a man, not the boy I still see in my mind’s eye, and very seriously said,
It’s okay. Everyone knows ninth graders still live at home with their parents.
He laughed. His desire to be independent has already moved past the stage of the sheer embarassment at even HAVING parents. He is now in the stage of not wanting to appear to NEED parents. Because doesn’t everyone know that 14 yr olds can drive themselves places, do their own laundry, and prepare their own meals. Like, duh?
Over at the elementary school today, I saw my 10 yr old son. He was way too cool to be excited to see me. I got a cursory wave and a “Hey.” As if it is a totally normal everyday occurrence to see me at your school assembly. Then he pretty much ignored me.
When I saw my daughter her face lit up and she came running over and hugged me. And hugged me again. Then she kept looking over at me and smiling. When it was time to leave she threw her arms open and mouthed, “hug!” I squeezed her hard. Then she turned and marched off with her class, her head bent to her friend in a conversation that I was not privy to.
Miles and I walk out of the school hand in hand. Half way to the car he stepped in front of me.
Carry me.
I think of a million reasons to say no. You’re too heavy. I’m too tired. My hands are full. I don’t want to. You are a big boy. The car is just right over there. I think your legs work just fine.
All of the things that I have said at one time or another.
Instead I scoop him up and onto my hip. I won’t be able to carry him much longer. His long legs hang down banging into the back of my knees. He rests his head on my shoulder. I kiss his cheek.
The good parts go by way too fast. It feels like the blur of scenery on the side of the highway. I know I have been down this road before, but I just can’t really remember it.
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First it’s the baby fat in their cheeks. Then they are too heavy to pick up and hug. Then they are so big you have to ask them not to fling themselves at you so hard because they are in fact about to knock you down. Not sure I’m ready for what comes next……
October 17th, 2009 at 10:47 amDamn it, stop that. You’re not supposed to make me teary on a Saturday.
October 17th, 2009 at 11:05 amI was just having one of those “it goes by too fast” moments this morning. Really beautiful post.
October 17th, 2009 at 11:23 amYou captured it brilliantly! My oldest graduates from High School this year and I am in a daze. Thank God for little ones who still ask to be carried!
October 17th, 2009 at 11:39 am**deep deep sigh**
You’ve gone and made me cry.
My baby is seven. Seven!!
You go right ahead and keep on carrying Miles, hmm?
October 17th, 2009 at 11:49 amI get the exact same response at school. Though last time my 11 yo didnt even say Hi, my 8 yo waved and said it and my 6 yo couldnt sit still in his seat he was waving so hard!! (And several of his friends too) When my 4 yo wants to snuggle I always figure out a way to fit him on my lap
October 17th, 2009 at 11:51 amSo true.. Time goes by way too fast. I definitely cherish every time my two-year-old son is excited to see me and runs to me for a hug. I love to give him a good squeeze.
(Btw, I’ve been enjoying your blog for a few months now and I love your stories and descriptions of events. I found your blog when I was googling how to cut hair and landed on your humorous hair cutting post. I haven’t commented before, but this post especially brought tears to my eyes so I wanted to leave you a note. Keep writing and I will keep reading. Thx!)
October 17th, 2009 at 11:55 amDe-lurking to say, Wow….. this totally had me tearing up. And I love her outfit. I want it in adult sizes.
Have a great weekend!
October 17th, 2009 at 11:55 amlaughter and tears all rolled together… I sure miss my baby boys! But I do enjoy the men they are growing into…
Thanks for taking me back :o)
October 17th, 2009 at 12:01 pmI’ve been sitting here marvelling (as they run around crazily) about how I am able to know and love 5 kids so well, so individually, and so completely and reading this was a perfect compliment to my train of thought this morning. And it makes me want 2 more, don’t tell DH-he would be terrified.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pmBeautiful post. You do save them to make a book for each of your children - don’t you?
October 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pmSo so so true!
My five are growing too fast. I don’t even have a cuddly one anymore. *sigh*
Enjoy it!
October 17th, 2009 at 12:10 pmexactly.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:19 pmHi Chris — It’s amazing how those little changes can make such a difference in them. I have to tell you - I LOVE the outfit your daughter has on! Can I ask where you got the skirt/shirt/and especially socks? Thanks!!
Chris says: I just realized that every single thing she is wearing came from Target. The shirt is from last year though.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pmOh Lord, that was just gorgeous. And so true. I feel it every day and on those days when I am impatient and crappy, there is a little part of my brain that is wishing I would not wish even the crap moments away because it won’t be long before they are grown and gone.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pmAnd that is officially the most nonsensical thing I have ever said. lol
Perfect post, Chris. I’m so thrilled that my kids are still happy to see me at school. I know it won’t last and I lap up every second of it. But this post is a really good reminder to keep doing just that.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:34 pmNicely said, Chris. Beautiful.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:41 pmAnd that is the very reason that I still carry my daughter! Until her legs drag the ground (she’ll be too tall long before she’s too heavy!) you will find her in my arms as frequently as I can stand it!
She’s got the same knee socks too. I LOVE the stripes…she loves the skulls.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:42 pmAww, sweet.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pmMy kids are 1½ and 2½, and I fear the same things will happen to me soon enough. Your post only reminds me to cherish every moment I have with my kids while they still want to be seen around me.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:56 pm…crying…
October 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pmShe is growing up way too fast. Such a pretty girl!
October 17th, 2009 at 2:09 pmI remember when my 14 yr old was little, I couldn’t WAIT till the next stage. When will he walk, run, start school, lose a tooth, start middle school? Now with the 4 yr old I wait sadly for the next stage. I wait for that one step closer to independence. I am not really concerned if he can write his name now or not, I know he will when he is ready. And, like you, I hold him as many times as I can, because I know that in a few short years he won’t want to have parents anymore, either.
God. Thanks a LOT for making me cry on a Saturday afternoon!
*sniff*
October 17th, 2009 at 2:12 pmAwww…you shouldn’t do that to a pregnant lady, now I’m all tears! I swear my 3yo daughter should still be an infant, it all goes by too fast!
October 17th, 2009 at 2:20 pmThank you for these posts. With a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old, it is easy to forget that some of these things will fly by and they will no longer want me to hold them or hug them or show me their kung fu moves.
October 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pmThey do. They do. Mine are only 4 and 6, but each day they seem to get further away from those little babies I brought home from the hospital. They seem to need me a little less and sometimes that’s great and other times I just can’t imagine what it will be like when they don’t think they need me at all.
October 17th, 2009 at 2:33 pmI am oh ~ SO ~ tired these days, but try to remember HOW quickly it will fly past, they will be out and MAYBE call once in a year or so. ::sniff::
Isn’t it true ~ the new (big) teeth look so huge and weird and their lips just don’t seem to fit over them right. I too keep those thoughts in my head…just like the ones I thought when my 13 year old got his first pimples!
Love ya!!
October 17th, 2009 at 2:41 pmI am not sure exactly where I stand with my children. My seven year old son appears to be happy to see me; my eleven year old daughter, hard to say. I have not been able to bestow kisses without permission of my son since he was two and I have not been able to hold him in my arms since age three. (He did not inherit my short gene (lol). No matter how much they grow, I still see the baby that I brought home from the hospital. There are times that I am happy that that stage of life has passed; yet there are other times that I miss having them as babies in the midst…
BTW: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE SOCKS!
October 17th, 2009 at 2:44 pmThat made me cry. The old cliche is true. They do grow up too fast.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:35 pmChris, That is beautiful. Thank you.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pmRy (who is only days older than your daughter) just lost his first tooth a week or so ago.
Love those pics! Her knee-highs and MJs are awesome.
I would scoop up Miles as well. He is delicious.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:59 pmPosts like these are why I read your blog and get teary eyed. My hubby would never understand!
October 17th, 2009 at 4:23 pmGreat post Chris! I’m enjoying my baby boy#4 so much. I watch my older 3 and it’s hard to believe how quickly they’ve grown. When my 6 yo wants a snuggle in the mornings I’m glad to give it… My standard advice to new moms lately has been…just enjoy that baby, everything else will still be there later. Thanks for the reminder!
October 17th, 2009 at 4:26 pmMy oh My…I nearly cried reading that. Could plainly be because it’s that time o’ month or most likely because I’m a mommy to a beautiful 2 year old spark of pure enjoyment. She is everything to me and I tell myself everyday that I’m going to invent a “stay this way til you can have your own family” serum. Thinking about having three children in such neat ages as you do makes me cringe with excitement and apprehension. I can only hope that by that point I still have my sanity and the patience to have a creative outlet like writing. You must be a wonderful mom to have such a beautiful outlook on your children’s lives. Kudos.
October 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pmI love this post… I feel exactly the same way as my growing 5 year old son, like I want to rewind time, freeze it and fast forward it all at the same time!
October 17th, 2009 at 5:00 pmOkay, now you’ve done it. Stop making my eyes get misty!
October 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pmOK, fine. The next time M. Peevie “interrupts” me while I’m blogging, wanting to sit on my lap, I will choose to appreciate the moment.
The next time A. Peevie asks me to cuddle with him before bedtime, I will walk away from Criminal Minds (and Shemar Moore) and cuddle with him.
The next time C. Peevie wants me to do an online crossword puzzle with him, I will embrace the opportunity, because, as you said, these opportunities are whizzing by.
But do I have to appreciate the opportunity to flush someone else’s poop, too–or is that taking things too far?
October 17th, 2009 at 5:26 pmWonderful post, Chris, and you do have me in tears…my two own boys away at college and my 8th grade baby girl begging to wear mascara tonight to a school Fall dance…sigh…the years have flown by way, way too quickly…
October 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pmYet again you are able to put into words my thoughts exactly! Well done!
October 17th, 2009 at 6:34 pmWhat a great post:) It does go by so fast. My son is 15 and it just seems like yesterday that he was in a carrier.
October 17th, 2009 at 7:02 pmGreat. I’m bawling. Bawling. You couldn’t have written this at a different time of the month when I would have just been misty?
Beautifully said, and too, too true.
October 17th, 2009 at 7:38 pmWhat a lovely post. My daughter, who had a daughter last year, sent this post to me because she knew how much I would appreciate it! And I did!
October 17th, 2009 at 8:32 pmI don’t think I’ve quite accepted that my nearly 8yr old has grown up that much. We’re at the stage where kisses are like offering to give him the plague and he would actually rather die than have me kiss him or come up to him in the playground. I don’t like it, I want to smother him in kisses, and I want him to like it!! But slowly I’m learning. I’ve still got three more who love kisses and cuddles and acknowledging me in public….I’ll enjoy them while I can.
And your daughter’s whole outfit makes me so very annoyed that my 6 yr old girl still refuses to wear anything not completely pink…..those socks are made of awesome.
October 17th, 2009 at 8:38 pmNicely said Chris. On Thursday my older son texted me, with pictures from his snowy college campus. I took my younger son for his senior pictures on Friday. I swear it was yesterday their heads smelled of baby shampoo, and they were always happy to see me!
October 17th, 2009 at 8:49 pmAgain, you leave me with tearsin my eyes. My kids are little and sometimes I feel like the days (and sleepless nights) will never end. Thanks for the heads up!
October 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pmWow, {wipes tear from cheek}. I’m off to give my sweet two year old another hug and hold her until she forces me to put her down. Lovely post!
October 17th, 2009 at 9:43 pmSo beautiful and so true. And you’re so fortunate to have done it seven times! Have you ever read Annie Lamott? She has an amazing chapter in her book where she talks about her son who is a teenager and who is sulking or acting like a jerk or something and she says something hysterical about how he kills her but how could that be when he can’t even drive a car? At times, this post reminded me of that — and I’m sorry if I sound completely coherent — I’m hoping that you know what I”m talking about. If not, well, thanks for the wonderful post. And photos.
October 17th, 2009 at 10:15 pmI meant incoherent –
October 17th, 2009 at 10:16 pmChris,
You have done it yet again, A Truly Fantastic Emotive Story.
I don’t have any of my own, but watching friends and colleagues have their babies, then hear they are finishing school makes you wonder where the time goes. Only yesterday at work we were talking about the very same thing, and I swear I haven’t aged all those years along with them.
I always chat to my new Mum’s and say to them, to cherish every moment of those early years especially when they are learning so much so quickly or before they know it they will be all grown up. It’s a great shame that so many young Mum’s have to work through those growing years rather than being a stay at home Mum as those miss so many precious moments.
Take Care and continue to enjoy each and every one of them.
October 17th, 2009 at 10:22 pmLots of Love Carolynn, with the usual Big Hug for Miles xxxx
my son is almost 10… only child so when a stage is thru it is thru..for good. no second or 3rd or 4th chance to do it again. i can still pick him up and carry him… he is a small child and i am strong.. but i don’t carry him too often and mostly just messing around. i miss the ‘real’ carrying. he still holds my hand when we walk together except at school but he is always happy to see me. someday he won’t be… or at least won’t show it.
October 17th, 2009 at 10:41 pmSo sweet. I miss the baby days so much.
October 18th, 2009 at 1:50 amTears…rolling…I just told my oldest that she was too big to sit on my lap. That will be remedied tomorrow. Thank you for the beautiful post. I will scoop up my 40 and 60 pounders until my back gives out now thanks to you. Lovely thoughts, well said, and keep it coming. (Especially lines like, “Everyone knows ninth graders still live at home with their parents.” So funny.)
October 18th, 2009 at 2:31 am*sniff*
I was thinking these thoughts as I rocked my “baby” after she woke up tonight. She will be 3 in a couple months. Soon she won’t be waking up in the night, and she won’t need rocking when she does. She’s my fifth and last baby. I just had to savor it. It was a nice moment.
*sniff*
October 18th, 2009 at 3:12 amYou made me cry too. Mine are 4 and 2 and I eat up every hug, kiss and cuddle they will give willingly…knowing the days are numbered.
How cute are your kids. Seriously.
October 18th, 2009 at 3:36 amI’m up nursing with flaming nipples and all the joys of being 6 days postpartum. Thank you for helping me appreciate it.
October 18th, 2009 at 5:28 amThis made me cry. I know exactly where you are coming from.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:59 amAck, you’re making me CRY, woman!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:14 amDammit lady, I am crying like a baby now. I know exactly what you mean. It seems like they are on a bullet train barreling toward adulthood. Sometimes I still carry my four year old too, hoping to hold on to some tiny part of babyhood. sigh
October 18th, 2009 at 9:02 amMy only child is eight-and-a-half years old and weighs 70 pounds, but I still sometimes give him a piggyback ride up to bed. It’s ridiculous, yes, but I know the day is coming when I absolutely won’t be able to do it any more and I’m stretching things out as long as I can. ;^)
October 18th, 2009 at 11:55 amFirst — love those socks. And your right — looking back it all goes by way to fast…
October 18th, 2009 at 2:30 pmMore crying here! Mine is 19 months old and turning from toddler to little girl.
October 18th, 2009 at 2:32 pmYou have done it again. the tears are flowing and we are longing for yesterday
October 18th, 2009 at 6:15 pmThat’s what happens when you watch them grow up! They’ll be 50 one day, and you’ll still be treating them like they were 11…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pmI have a 10 and 5 year old and I can really relate to this. It all goes so fast, doesn’t it. I love your response to your ninth grader. I will have to remember that one and use it sometime in the future, most definitely!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:54 pmBeautifully bittersweet.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:47 pmOh, btw — meant to say that it’s funny how we truly realize what a blur all of this is by the time we get to our baby of the family.
I remember, a few years ago, my youngest asking me if I would sing to her while rocking her. I said of course, realizing it wouldn’t be long before she’d be too big to even scoop into my lap.
And then it hit me, almost frantically: When was the last time I’d rocked my son, I wondered? How did I not realize it was the last time, or that it would be fast approaching if nothing else? How could I have gone several years and not REALIZED that I hadn’t rocked him since?!? My mind was racing, and I could come up with absolutely nothing.
And with that, I became very, very sad.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:51 pmMy days of carrying my youngest are long gone. He could carry me. Seventeen years old, 6′2″, he is still my baby. My husband and I went away alone this weekend, and wonder of wonders, the youngest blurted out 10 minutes after we were home that he missed us. This social blur we never see when we are home, the kid who is constantly surrounded by friends, and travels in packs with them, missed us. Missed us, and said so. It makes my heart smile, life is good.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:24 pmSo beautiful.
I carried my boy until I just couldn’t anymore. And I kissed his chheek while I did it.
Peace.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:26 pmYour daughter’s outfit is fabulous, especially the socks. I’m hoping I can find them in adult sizes because I need them.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:34 pmAnd can you remember the date one of your kids stopped holding your hand as you walked down the street? April 23, 2007 for my daughter, when she noticed teenagers ahead and pretended, after she’d started to reach for my hand, that she was really just patting her hair.
October 19th, 2009 at 6:52 amWhich is why I let her watch that freakin’ egg crackin’ video again.
October 19th, 2009 at 7:46 amI’ve read your blog a million times… lots of times I think about posting a reply, but do not… today - I just couldn’t resist. I’m just beginning my journey in to parenthood at 32 and I only hope that I can be half the mother you are. You amaze me!!!
October 19th, 2009 at 8:38 am*sigh - gulp - sob *
And umm - you don’t write books of poetry or Hallmark cards - why?
October 19th, 2009 at 9:40 amIt’s the eyes of the soul. I still see my babies in the eyes of my adult children. I’ve been privileged this week to see my great grandson again. What a kick, I see his daddy’s expressions in his little 5 week old face and eyes.
October 19th, 2009 at 10:07 amI wish I could see his Daddy, he is in Kandahar.
Wow. I’m usually doing dances and throwing confetti over the fact that my girls are now 11 and 13, and all the baby-stuff is behind me. But this teared me up.
October 19th, 2009 at 10:25 amThanks, I’m crying at work now - nice post.
October 19th, 2009 at 12:54 pmI ADORE the socks and shirt!
October 19th, 2009 at 1:11 pmSuch a sweet post. I always give my 5-year-old a piggyback ride to bed - even though my back is sore because is too big already! - but I know very soon she will stop asking and I will wish I had said yes. So I do.
October 19th, 2009 at 1:48 pmThis just made my heart hurt! I look at my oldest and wonder when she grew up. It seems like she was a baby only for a moment.
What a sweet post!
October 19th, 2009 at 2:36 pmCan I just say that I LOVE her outfit? Can she be my stylist?
October 19th, 2009 at 2:41 pmI have a theory that the unruly, unappreciative, messy, smartassed, eye-rolling, sarcastic, know-it-all “ladies and gentlemen” that our children become in their teenage years makes it easier when they leave. Even though they make me feel stabby almost daily and sometimes I can’t WAIT until they get out of this house, I know I’m gonna miss them so much when they’re gone… imagine how hard it would be if they were still the sweet, snuggly, carry me, lay with me for a minute, fat cheeked, bundles of joy they were when they were little. I don’t think we could take it…
October 19th, 2009 at 4:30 pmTear. This is beautiful.
My daughter - now twelve and in a full set of braces- left the first tooth that she lost in until it actually started to turn gray in her mouth. The horror I felt when she smiled that beautiful little grin and I saw a decaying tooth rotting in her mouth! I leaned over and gently explained the delicacy of the situation and suggested she find the courage to pull it out as soon as we get home. I tied dental floss into a loop and let her attach one end to her tooth and the other to the door handle and slam the door shut - it was that loose. A couple of years later she helped her cousin pull her first tooth the same way because she was too afraid to pull it also. Thanks for evoking the memories. And yes - pulling teeth makes me queasy as well.
October 19th, 2009 at 5:00 pmthanks for this reminder. I needed to hear it.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:15 pmJust wait till they hit the age where they discover that your parenting left everything to be desired. I believe it happens to most of us about the time they hit 30. So much for cute.
October 20th, 2009 at 11:35 pmNow I’m crying on my birthday. See what you’ve done?
Chris says: Happy Birthday! xox
October 21st, 2009 at 1:12 pmAwww, this is really sweet. I keep freaking out that I’m missing out on stuff because my baby girl is growing up so fast (she’s two and told me the other morning, “you never know, mom”).
October 21st, 2009 at 6:53 pmAwwwww…. *sniff sniff*
November 5th, 2009 at 8:40 pm