Not Worthy of a Title
January 12, 2010
I still have all of my Christmas decorations up. I hate taking them down. The house feels so empty and undecorated. But I also kind of hate my decorations right about now too.
I have been working out again. Like everyone else it seems who made a New Year resolution to get fit, healthy, fit into those pair of jeans, or that bathing suit without crying. I actually began in the middle of December and my neighbor is working out with me. We both hate Jillian and her 30 day shred right now.
I also decided to get off the sugar train again. Why do I love sugar so much? Not cakes or cookies or chips or fatty foods, no I want the straight sugar. Preferrably in the shape of a small chewy bear.
I am forbidding this child from growing up. A note to all of you parents out there with toddlers wishing they would just grow up already… stop right now. Tiny kids, tiny problems. Big kids, big problems.
And by problems I don’t mean getting into mischief, I mean the issues and decisions that arise are more important in the grand scheme of life, have greater implications,and bring you right back to your own teenage years where you fully understand why your parents just didn’t understand. It is because YOU WERE FUCKING CRAZY. That my friends is a friends is a full circle moment.
The one thing that I do try to do is at least APPEAR to understand to the crazy hormonal thinking. Then I call my friends who have younger kids and scare them. At least they will have military school options already researched in advanced. Or convents, as the case may be.
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As a fellow parent of teenagers I COMPLETELY understand!!!!
January 12th, 2010 at 12:20 pmOh honey, the choir is right over here…
I told my youngest that she could not have another birthday when she was two. She is now 15 and acquiring her learner’s permit. I have one in college with more dilemmas and decisions than anyone out there. And my boy will graduate this summer.
Just preach it, sister. I am right here with you.
January 12th, 2010 at 12:27 pmI’m one of two girls. My father searched long and hard for a military convent about the time we hit middle school. He never did find one. But he still recommends it to parents (including us as we now have two little girls).
January 12th, 2010 at 12:34 pmI have been doing the 30-Day Shred since October and am addicted. Once I got through all 3 levels, I started alternating days 1, 2, and 3 each day. I am a 43-year-old momma of 6 and grandma to 1 and had started to slowly gain weight as the result of no more little ones to chase and sitting at a desk half the day. I have lost 15 lbs. and really toned up. It is the perfect workout to fit into my busy schedule.
I have one grown and married with a baby, two teenagers who I worry about constantly, a 6th grader, and two 4th graders. Our 6th grader is starting to prefer hanging out with her friends to being with us. I tell my husband all the time we have about two years to enjoy spending time with our twins and they will be gone too. I couldn’t wait for them to grow up, and no I wish I could slow it down!
January 12th, 2010 at 12:47 pmLOL! My mom was talking to my SIL once and my SIL mentioned how difficult it was to give birth and have young babies and toddlers. My mom said “oh, dear, giving birth and having young babies and toddlers is like being hit by a Mac truck, but just wait until you have teenagers. That’s like being hit by a Mac truck, then being reversed over, then smacked again, then reversed over again, then run over one more time for good measure. The government should issue awards for those of us who survive.”
January 12th, 2010 at 12:51 pmRight there with you, on both counts.
We landed FIRMLY in teenage drama-land yesterday with the one. And the baby? Well… she still plans on marrying me when she grows up and I’m good with that. She’s 5 and has promised not to get any older at all. (This is a different kind of damage I am inflicting, isn’t it? Keeping her small and sweet, thwarting her development so she never ever enters those evil teen years… Sigh. Where’s my WIN-WIN???)
January 12th, 2010 at 12:53 pmOh my, I hear you on the teenagers. I have, on more than one occasion, called my own mother just to apologize for my behavior during the 80s. Usually after dealing with a meltdown from one of my daughters, during which she is sobbing that I just don’t understand. Actually, my oldest is almost 18 and she has grown out of that. The middle one turning 15 tomorrow? We’re still working on it. And I have forbidden my 7 year-old to get any older.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:02 pmYou just put into words what I was thinking last night when my 15 year old son talked nonstop for 90 minutes about how he was going to grow up and be an artist when he/we all know he has no artistic skills WHATSOEVER. He doesn’t even doodle for fun.
He talked about growing up like he had another 20 years to work on it. I don’t understand how he can be a straight A student, yet be so inept in social and basic life skills. I almost thank God he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet. Throw in hormones with convoluted thinking and that WOULD be a HUGE mess! :0
January 12th, 2010 at 1:21 pmSo true, so very true.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:55 pmI could just eat his cute littl feet! Good luck with that.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:57 pmLOL! I forgot what I was typing I meant god luck with giving up sugar.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:58 pmI laughed when I read your comment about military school! When our son was 15 I actually looked some up on the internet. It was scary when they seem to make decisions that could ruin their futures, but you know they do grow up. And the values you have instilled all for all of those years are still there. Our son is now 20, as of yesterday, and he is doing so well and making us proud. Yours will make it through too.
January 12th, 2010 at 1:59 pmSO true! having a 12 year old at the same time as a 4 year old makes the chasm between those problems in mothering sooo obvious.
January 12th, 2010 at 2:40 pmBlessings as you tread the murky waters..
Lib
love it. I agree big kids big problems and i also think we are all crazy
good luck with the working out and the no sugar. I also am trying to get into shape (lose weight is a bad line) as i will be the mother of the bride in july and need to shape up.
January 12th, 2010 at 3:28 pmI have been thinking about that little/big issue lately, too. I have a slightly different perspective - my oldest is almost 22 and youngest is 8. The 8yo is getting to that challenging time with social issues, sensitivity to teacher criticism that’s weighing down his performance (if I hear that he isn’t performing up to his ability one more time from the teacher who is crushing his will to perform, I’m gonna … I don’t know) that I know from experience is just the warm-up for middle school and early high school years. However, I also know the joy that comes of seeing them off to be successful in college, and the relief as the pressure that has built over time slowly starts to ease off. My older ones are still poor college students who have challenges and don’t always make the right decisions, but it’s never so awesomely painful as those tweens. Is that helpful in even the slightest? (It barely helps me.)
January 12th, 2010 at 3:37 pmYou already know this, Chris, but sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves when dealing with the ups and downs of adolescents:
This, too, shall pass.
And just think about how much fun it’s going to be when someday, they moan and groan about what a pain their adolescent children are. That’s when a big, warm smile comes across Grandma’s face. It actually does happen that way.
January 12th, 2010 at 3:47 pmOh, Lordy … I was already stressed out enough about your Neighbor Issues, but now I’m worried about the kids! My three boys are only 7, 5 and 2, so I guess I have a while before it starts. But I’m already worried!
January 12th, 2010 at 3:53 pmMan, I know what you mean. The teenage years will nearly kill you as a parent.
January 12th, 2010 at 4:19 pmI’m normally with you on the decorations, although this year I put it up and down in the same week to avoid complete destruction by the 1yr old. Normally, I am trying to talk hubby into a “holiday” tree.. We could do hearts for valentine’s day, four leaf clovers for St Patrick’s, cute easter eggs for Easter.. Alas, he never falls for it.
Also- I second the don’t wish your little ones big.. Having some of both- I much prefer the little stage where I don’t quite want to lock them in their rooms with muzzles permanently.
January 12th, 2010 at 4:28 pmBeautiful shot of adorable toes! Yeah, the teenage years suck. And I was pretty close in age to my oldest teenage step-son (only 12 years older than him) and in his eyes I might as well have been 50 years older than him for all that I understood his life.
January 12th, 2010 at 4:34 pmI have a 16 year old daughter. I’ve decided that teenagers’ obnoxious/hormonal/crazy behavior is God’s way of preparing us as parents to not miss them when they leave.
January 12th, 2010 at 5:03 pmI started the 30 Day Shred before Thanksgiving. Then I hurt my knee, and then it was the holidays, but I started again now in the new year. The good thing is that starting it this time around, I’m not in pain but only ache. Sometimes quite alot, but it still doesn’t qualify as pain like it did the first time around. Good luck to you!
January 12th, 2010 at 5:30 pmI say you put the crazy hormonal teenagers in charge of taking down the Christmas decorations. A’course, you might not have many left and they might end up in 1,000 boxes instead of put away nicely and neatly…
Hope things get better!
January 12th, 2010 at 5:40 pmTotally with you on the growing kids. I had NO IDEA how much more complicated it gets. Physically way easier, mentally, GAH, so much harder. If you figure out how to freeze a preschooler, let us know. I have one left.
Not with you on the Christmas decs though. Glad to pack mine up and get my house back.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:26 pmI take it girlfriends have entered the picture…make sure you invite me to the wedding(s). Maybe THEN we can catch up on life…By the way, I’m still waiting by my mailbox for your Christmas card…it’s getting cold out here.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:39 pmYou are so right about the tiny kid, tiny problems issue. I remember when my daughter was little and I could change her whole world attitude by spending five bucks on the toy aisle. She is thirty now and I can’t solve her problems for any amount of money. It is so hard to see your child unhappy and know you can’t do anything about it.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:15 pmSounds like “pukerty” has hit your house big time….this too will pass….hang in there, they will someday think you wise again
January 12th, 2010 at 7:16 pmAmen. I have a 15 year old boy and: Amen. This is SO much harder than toddlerhood!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:33 pmAh, Mama, just wait until the Estrogen Explosion grabs your pretty princess. All that testosterone drippin’ down the walls will seem less poisonous by comparison.
My own four boys were lambs compared to the two haridan girls, now your age, who still remember the hopelessness of being a teen. Hugs will be spurned, laughter mocked, and you will absolutely NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!
This is a preview, so pay attention! Also, the others kids watch and may secretly empathize with you. They will be easier. You and your oldest are both learning the ropes and the new rules.
Peace to your home and joy to your heart.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:54 pmI haven’t put my decorations away, either. I keep pretending that I have better things to do. And, um…thanks for scaring all of us parents-of-toddlers. I will start researching military schools right now.
January 12th, 2010 at 8:56 pmI was the first among my group of friends to have kids. When they were dealing with breast v. bottle and whether or not to ferberize, I was dealing with, “Everyone at school hates me and I hate them” and bullies and homework. You are absolutely right — keep those kids little when every problem can be solved with a cuddle and a cookie!
January 12th, 2010 at 9:22 pmI refuse to take my Christmas wreath down until March. I once made it through mid-April.
Wishing you big kid solutions you can all live with, lady.
Chris says: I have done the same. I took to calling it my Ressurection Wreath, you know for Easter and all.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:29 pmHave you tried Agave Syrup? It is the ONE healthy choice I make and it is super sweet.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:24 pmYes, Dad Windu and I are experiencing that “full circle moment” on a regular basis. Only rum and NCIS are keeping me sane these days.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:26 pmsorry those teenagers are giving you fits ….but look on the bright side. What if they were teenage girls!?!?
AHHHHHHHHHH
I was meant to mother a boy, I have no patience for girl drama! and more than one girl…..scares me so.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:31 pmYeah that made mistake with my first and second, wishing they would grow up faster than they were. Now I am on the third and last and trying to keep her a baby for as long as possible. She can stay 6 mos as long as she wants.
Funny, I threatened my 4 yr old with millitary school just the other day. Didn’t phase me at all. I fear for the future.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:50 pmthanks for the reminder. I catch myself wishing my preschooler was older, and looking forward to my toddler being a preschooler. but then I realize that later I will wish them young again and I should embrace everything (including poopie underpants) while I still can!
January 12th, 2010 at 10:54 pmwishing they would grow up always comes back to bite you in the ass…. i wish i had those pre-school years back… so much easier to go places and do things without having the worry of missing school, doing homework… i want a do-over!!
January 13th, 2010 at 12:33 amI think the worst part is realizing that all those thoughts I had as a teen were not really rational. I mean, I knew that already; but now, with my own teens in front of me, I REALLY know that. I call and apologize to my parents at least once a week.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:52 amJust look at those cute little feet! Ah the good old days. Miles is the cutest.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:42 amI feel that growing up pain =
I was an impatient and I guess intolerant mother when my kids were young … Now I look at the big teenaged boys they are and wonder why I didn’t hug them more, slow down and watch them more, enjoy that bubbly sense of joy for life that younger kids seem to have … and then lose!
**sigh - sniff**
Thanks though for putting it in writing = they really are INSANE!!!!
January 13th, 2010 at 9:27 amAmen, sister. I am so with you. This is so hard. I only have two kids.. a 15 1/2 yr old girl and a just turned 17 year old boy.. and I have to admit.. this is so much harder than when they were so little and so close in age, and i thought I’d never sleep again. I don’t sleep now, but now it’s from worrying. I must admit, though, the mood swings, the girl stuff.. EXHAUSTING. The boy? Just knows everything.
January 13th, 2010 at 12:25 pmMakes me look at my two daughters and sigh. But I always hope for the best for them.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:17 pmThe teen years have depressed me to no end. I take a little solace in the fact that so many others are chiming in. But the thought of my baby (12) turning on me, too? I don’t think I’d ever get over that. Sorry to be a bummer! It’s been that kind of year!
January 13th, 2010 at 4:05 pmMy two oldest are 13 and 15. I thought I would not have such a hard time with the rollercoaster emotions since all 5 of mine are boys…but OMG…one minute laughing, then yelling, then arguing, then crying.
and the EYE ROLLING… I swear I want to smack those rolling eyes..
January 13th, 2010 at 7:18 pmI fear I have a long way to go as the older ones move out of teens the next 3 will be moving in
Can I go back to the teenage angst……
much better than watching them struggle with a marriage
and a baby…….
the worry, stress and anxiety of motherhood never goes away!
enjoy those kids while you got them home :0)
Happy mothering!
January 13th, 2010 at 10:44 pmI have a consumer for a teen, not a son — all I hear about is all that every one else has, or what is out there that he doesn’t have (nor will until he is earning his own money).
Ugh - I love toddlers, hate teens
Not really - but it is all emotional, overwhelming…I would rather be embarking on terrible twos than angst ridden 13, and hair pulling frustrating 10yo!!
Have not even considered taking Christmas decorations down yet — will think about it in February!
January 14th, 2010 at 12:50 amI have 3 boys, 5, 6, and 1. I am enjoying the one year old so much more than I did the older two(possibly because there is only one of him, but definitely because I know he is our last.)
I am not looking forward to teens, but am sick of the know it all 6 y/o already.
January 19th, 2010 at 5:18 amSteff