Sunday Scenes
January 26, 2010
My daughter had to make a recipe for a school assignment. They are studying following directions. or writing instructions. or something. I am not entirely sure. I do know that we were supposed to make a “family recipe” over the weekend. Then write the recipe down.
She made the old family recipe, Rice Krispies treats.
Afterward I remarked to a friend that I hoped all the other kids didn’t come in with these amazing “family” recipes. I could just imagine a little first grade cookbook filled with Chicken Cordon Bleu, homemade sausage from organically hand fed pigs– that were raised in their backyard, or their great-grandmothers secret herb encrusted tenderloin. Meanwhile our recipe came from the side of the cereal box.
But your daughter did it all herself.
Sigh, I know.
And she is so proud of herself. And happy.
I know.
And everyone loves Rice Krispies treats.
The thing is even when you purposefully opt out of the competimom arena, the guilt that fuels this sort of competitiveness is still there. [And whoa, boy are the mothers competitive here. Something which makes me want to slack off even more. Though I want to point out that I too could hand weave my daughter's clothing out of wool shorn from alpacas raised in a Tibetan lesbian commune, I choose not to. Because I have better things to do with my time. Things like blink and breathe and stare into space. As I am being judged, so am I judging. Get a life! Even if it is a boring and lonely one!]
I remember one time we used food coloring to dye our Rice Krispies treats and make them more festive. Instead the red dye made it look like a huge pan of raw hamburger meat. It was not really the festive look I was going for, though it was horrifyingly awesome. If they had to bring their “family recipe” into school I might have done it again.
*****
My 10 yr old son had to do a science project. He decided at the last possible minute to change his project idea. The question he was trying to answer was: how does weight affect* the speed of a skateboard traveling downhill. What better way to spend a Saturday morning than risking grave bodily injury in the name of science. It was fun.
Putting together the posterboard, not as much fun for the 10yr old. I gave him two sided tape and patted myself on the back for eliminating the mess of glue! Tape! So easy! I am genius!
At 11:30 Sunday night, after all the little kids were in bed and had been sound asleep for hours, I picked the posterboard up from where it was laying on the floor. I wanted to move it over to where the backpacks are kept so that we didn’t accidentally leave it at home. I picked it up and EVERYTHING SLID RIGHT OFF. Into a pile at my feet. I stood there in disbelief for a few seconds.
Then I began the arduous task of gluing everything onto the posterboard.
In between the disbelief and the gluing there may have been a stream of expletives that escaped from my mouth. But that is probably best left unmentioned.
If his life had a soundtrack, this would be the album cover.
It is also the same look he had on his face when he came downstairs in the morning and saw his poster.
Why does it look different?
What do you mean?
The things are in different places and stuff?
I explained to him what happened.
Well, YOU bought the tape.
The only reason I didn’t throttle him is because after only 3.5 hours of sleep I just didn’t have the strength. I am pencilling in the throttling for some time next week.
* Everyone needs a friend they can text at 10pm: HELP! EMERGENCY ENGLISH GRAMMAR QUESTION!! And have them respond right away.
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What a fun science fair experiment! We have nails “rusting” in different sodas and waters to see which is more corosive. And then we’ll make the dreaded board. I’m thinking glue dots.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:03 pmI LOVE Rice Krispie Treats and the kids get so excited when I make them.
My 10 year old made four different paper airplanes to see how far and straight they flew.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:06 pmJust be glad his science fair question didn’t deal with what happened to the rider of the skateboard when the skateboard came to an immediate halt. The kind of halt is cause by having a rope tied around the back wheels with the other end tied to an immovable object. That was an important lesson about how objects in motion stay in motion that my older brother and I learned (at my expense) when I was 8-ish. Although it wasn’t in the name of science so much as in the name of too little supervision and nothing better to do.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:22 pmMy friend had to do the recipe project with her preschooler. His chosen recipe: “Favorite Noodles” The recipe involves boiling egg noodles, draining & adding butter. She could not help herself from adding a note about it being a side dish and that they always have vegetables along with it.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:25 pmMy daughter made my “great-grandmother’s” mushroom soup. Easy 5 ingredients. Had a lovely, verklempt inducing tale of how it had been passed down from generation to generation. My grandmother read it in the first grade cookbook and said “Uh-uh, I found it on an evaporated milk can in 1982.”
Another damn memory of my childhood dashed.
Oh well.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:35 pmThank you for blog….I find your honesty, candidness,and openness very very refreshing, entertaining, and encouraging!
January 26th, 2010 at 12:44 pmThis is my life right now. My daughter is doing her Science fair project on her own. With out my help. Every year she does it by herself and loves what she has come up with. Every year we go to the fair and see projects where 3rd graders have explained quantum physics, split adams, and measured the size of the universe. Forgive me if I just let my 5th grader put mentos in soda to see which had the biger explostion.
Chris says: My son wanted to do the Mentos experiment, but his class already did it at school.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:45 pmIt is painful to me how competitive mothers can be…instead of encouraging each other to successfully get through the day, (most days, for me, success means completing homework, remembering all various afterschool activities, getting to said activities on time and serving dinner),mothers are constantly trying to “one up” each other. I feel I am doing a great service to mothers everywhere by regularly serving pancakes and bacon for dinner…all other mothers feel superior by comparison!!! You’re welcome.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:47 pmWow! You even make the science experiments look cool! how about that!
January 26th, 2010 at 1:03 pmWe have different plant cuttings growing with the ends cut differently, one sliced with a long cut, one cut straight across, one with scissors, one with an ‘X’ across the bottom to see which way the root would grow fastest, longest.
I think this is our last year of science fair.
My daughter added sprinkles - A LOT of sprinkles - to the rice krispies once to make them more festive at Christmas, my kids wont eat them any more. bummer.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:06 pmAs a former teacher I appreciated it much more when the parents actually let their kids do the homework! Love the science project idea!
January 26th, 2010 at 1:20 pmIt just looks so freaking fun to be a part of your household.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:21 pmNerf Darts are my son’s science fair project - he was seeing which one went the farthest using the “control” gun. He would definitely think your son’s skateboard experiment was equally great. The GLUING will commence this afternoon - thanks for the tip - I totally would have thrown the double sided tape at him.
Rice Krispie Treats! - I love how the brothers are waiting for scraps!
January 26th, 2010 at 1:23 pmYou know Mr. 10-yr-old is always, always going to remember that science fair project. You are such a cool mom.
And you know the other little boys are going to go home and ask their moms why they couldn’t do a project like that. You will be legendary.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:34 pmIt’s been so many years since my kids were in school that I’d almost forgotten all those “fond” memories of projects like these. I’m enjoying remembering now that you’ve brought it up. The insect collections come to mind as the highlights of those years…
Good for your daughter doing it all herself, which was what the teacher actually wanted. And now, your ten-year-old MUST do an album sometime in his life, because that album cover shot cannot be ignored.
I so enjoy reading and seeing your family events. Thanks.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:35 pmI love how the big (and, wow! He is now a young man!) brother is watching over to make sure she won’t get hurt . . . great pictures Chris. And the skateboard pictures— ya gotta love the gleeful smiles on the faces! I love checking in on your adorable family from time to time.
Chris says: Hahaha. he is just making sure that she doesn’t burn it!
January 26th, 2010 at 1:41 pmShe looks so cute and so grown-up, stirring the ingredients by herself! Your daily life always looks so fun and interesting.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:45 pmFirst, I love you.
Secondly, you may not be the competitive type, but I bet you’ve got the best kitchen. It is gorgeous!
My daughter uses the bathroom in the basement before school. Last year she went down to get ready and screamed and stomped and repeatedly bashed a brick on the floor. After some expletives of my own and a little investigation, I found out that there was a cricket in the basement.
That night I was driving her and a friend to confirmation classes and her friend brought out a grasshopper in a jar. Turns out that they were doing an insect unit in science class at school. There was extra credit being offered if you caught an insect and brought it into show the class.
….
January 26th, 2010 at 1:50 pmI’m so happy to see your son has found another wall to prop up!
When my brother was in Kindergarten, they made a cookbook of kids recipes, but a little different. The teacher would sit down with each student, ask them what their favorite food was, and how it was made at home. Then they typed each recipe, exactly in the child’s words, and bound them in a spiral book by class. That is still hilarious to pull out and read through. Seeing how 5 and 6 year olds think things like spaghetti, scrambled eggs, and chocolate cake are made is pretty funny!
January 26th, 2010 at 1:57 pmReminded me of my then fifth-grader’s science fair project - he took apart a Nintendo controller to show how it worked. He didn’t win, but he thought of it himself, and he learned something from it.
Do you miss home schooling?
January 26th, 2010 at 1:58 pmI still have a cookbook from my daughter’s kindergarten class. The recipes are nothing fancy. One mom gave the Toll House cookie recipe. We were all fine with it. Most of them were extremely simple, something the child liked. Mine was for macaroni and cheese. The homemade kind, not the blue box kind. But it’s very easy. The cute thing the teacher did is that she put the mom’s recipe on the top half of the page, and then she asked the kid how to make the recipe, and wrote down word for word what they said.
Here’s what my then 5 year-old (now almost 18 year-old) daughter said:
“You need milk and cheese and macaroni. Put them in a pot and put the cheese in, and then the macaroni, and then the butter. Cook them for 20 minutes on a really hot stove. Yum!”
I still can’t bear to get rid of this thing.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pmWe like to make rice crispy treats using Fruity Pebbles. (Generic or Malt-O-Meal in the bag work best!) I love that you let your kids do their own project! So many projects at last years fair (we didn’t go to this years) were so obviously done by the parents. We have a kit to do the Mentos thing involving rockets. Saving it for when the snow thaws!
January 26th, 2010 at 2:26 pmSpeaking of competitive, I think I have a severe case of kitchen envy.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:29 pmMy daughter (1st grade) had to wear a t-shirt today to celebrate the 100th day of school. Apparently her teacher suggested that we glue or sew 100 whatevers to a shirt. Daughter’s first idea was quarters (how heavy and expensive would THAT be?), then it was pennies.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:37 pmLast night I convinced her that simply DRAWING 100 shapes with sharpies would be so much cooler than gluing all those pennies.
Forgive me if I am not finding it, but I don’t see the link to the apple french toast recipe. I clicked on the picture, but it says it is private on Flickr. Also, the comments were closed on that post. Again, sorry, but it looks good.
January 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pmNext time you should use Fruity Pebbles instead of Rice Krispies! They are really good and much prettier.
January 26th, 2010 at 3:24 pmThat last picture is so awesome. You are a great mom and you have great kids!
January 26th, 2010 at 3:41 pmOh my goodness, your daughter is looking more and more like you.
I was wondering if you miss homeschooling too with the neighbor situation and competimom thang.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:39 pmMy solution for school posters is to have them write everything on colored index cards and attach them to the poster with photo corners. They stick better than tape and are less messy than glue.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:43 pmA recipe she can do all by herself is a great one. I still won’t let my boys near the stove, though I don’t let my husband near it either.
What a great science fair project. We aren’t there yet but will be next year. I will have to remember to use glue…..I would have went with the tape too.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:58 pmI feel you on the competition thing. My daughter is only in kindergarten but already we are getting the competitive vibe. Every month or so the teacher sends home a “family” homework project, such as decorating a gingerbread house or some such nonsense. The point is for the FAMILY (ie: kid included) to work on the project. Well, I’ve seen some gingerbread houses that surely bear no mark of a 5 year old. WTF?!
January 26th, 2010 at 6:20 pmOh, are Texas women Stepford Wives or what? That was the thing that drove me most crazy, other than the heat, when we lived there. The PERFECT women. They weren’t real, but they were perfect none the less.
January 26th, 2010 at 6:37 pmThis makes me think of MY 5th grade project many eons ago. I did a poster of the human heart and how the blood circulates in and out with blue and red colored pencil. It also had a report stapled to the poster written in very childish print on Big Chief paper with a number five Laddie pencil. Looking back at the poster it was very clear that a fifth grader had done the whole thing all by herself. I was very bummed when I saw many of the other projects were clearly done by parents and were so cool. A volcano blowing up was the one I just knew would win. But imagine my surprise when the purple ribbon for first place went to my poor little hand colored heart. Makes me think the teachers knew a few things about competitive parents even in those days.
P.S. I still have the ribbon and my OWN heart still swells with pride when I look at it and remember how hard I worked on that project.
January 26th, 2010 at 7:10 pmWow, your eldest has grown. As I am writing this my 16 year old daughter is out on her very first driving lesson (eek!). Since I am from a small town in Australia, what age can your boy get his license. Is he driving now?
Chris says: He can get his permit, but can’t actually have his license until he turns 16.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:36 pmI love it that you are letting her do it by herself.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:06 pmI teach preschool and you wouldn’t believe how many parents do the kids work for them. I KNOW they can’t always cut it by themselves or color in the lines all the time. Or paint a fabulous bunch of flowers, but the moms continue to send in “perfect’ work from their kids. The gingerbread men at Christmas are the worst! My favorites are the ones covered in stickers or glopped up with glue and buttons. Then I know the kid had fun making it!
It must be winter; your kids are wearing pants. Up here, those pictures would mean it was mid-April. sigh
January 27th, 2010 at 12:36 amHoly cow! How did your son GROW UP like that?! Geesh, time flies.
January 27th, 2010 at 1:27 amI have this aardvark taped to my computer at work:
January 27th, 2010 at 2:07 amhttp://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/affect-versus-effect.aspx
I get what you mean about the competitiveness making you want to slack off even more. Then I like to display my slacked-ness, to repel them and make them stay away. Oh, you feed your kid only organic, free-range, no food dye, hypo-allergenic food raised in your own backyard? I tossed mine a slab of Wonder bread with half a stick of butter on it, ha!
January 27th, 2010 at 7:42 amI have found that super strength glue dots are GREAT for school projects. We have also learned the hard way they work a little too well holding pictures onto walls. I’ve tried to limit my input with science project; but I will admit that they are much more interesting than the projects I had growing up.
January 27th, 2010 at 8:44 amgreat pics, I love how the big brothers are looking on
January 27th, 2010 at 9:14 am>>The only reason I didn’t throttle him is because after only 3.5 hours of sleep I just didn’t have the strength. I am pencilling in the throttling for some time next week.<<
Love, just love this line. I may to steal it.
thanks for sharing so eloquently the realities of being a mom. It isn’t all apple french toast and rice krispies (or raw hamburg meat, as the situation dictates).
January 27th, 2010 at 10:15 amOk. I’m a professional business writing trainer… so it’s safe to say I can answer your question:
Affect is a Verb: How will the bad grade affect your final grade?
Effect is a Noun: The effect of your behaviour is a time out.
If you look in the dictionary you’ll see that they’ll say that affect can be both noun and verb…ignore that. Unless you write Victorian Literature you won’t use affect as a noun. (Her general affect was pleasant.) Same sort of thing for effect.
If you follow my rule, you’ll be fine. And feel free to email me any time you have a grammar question. It’s what my friends do
January 27th, 2010 at 10:27 amLOVE the science project and the family recipe!
When my daughter was 6 or 7 (1st grade?), she teamed up with a friend for a science fair project. They did a display board on astrology…no, not astronomy. It was the anti-science of ASTROLOGY. They did it themselves with stuff around the house and did learn a lot about constellations and myth. But I definitely had to tamp down competitive feelings…I mean, astrology?? No adult would pick that as a topic! Meanwhile, the other (hard-working and competitive) parents were helping their kids with elaborate experiments, while my kid is doing astrology for science. But she and her friend did it all themselves and actually got a ribbon …I think a third place (there were multiple 3rd places)… nothing significant. Competitive parents’ kids moved on to the next science competition, but at least we were done. 
January 27th, 2010 at 11:41 amYou’ve just shown in photos why Sunday is my favorite day of the week. And as for the family recipes, as a recovering heir to complicated German food traditions, I think that Rice Krispies Treats sound just right.
January 27th, 2010 at 4:54 pmOh thank you Cathy! I always have trouble with affect/effect. How easy your rule is until I thought oh, no, I’ll probably forget which one is always the verb etc. Then I had the great idea: turn the A for Affect upside down and it would be a V for verb. Terrific! I can remember that. Then I looked up at Chris’ sentence to see if she had the correct usage and thought oh, no again. Now I have to remember all the parts of speech stuff and diagramming sentences to see what is the verb and noun so I’m probably back to flipping a coin again. Because I have a fifty/fifty chance of getting right by guessing….
Makes me feel really stupid.
P.S. Chris had it right…right? Affect was the verb in her sentence?
January 28th, 2010 at 4:41 amThe competitive mom thing is rampant here in Utah, too. It can be very irritating if I let it.
Very cute pics. And the satisfaction your daughter will have by doing it all by herself is much better than the frustration she would have felt if you would have hovered over her, doing everything and taking over. Screw the competitive thing… and enjoy the krispy treats!
January 28th, 2010 at 2:05 pmYou think those Texas women are competitive now wait until cheerleading! Hey haven’t we seen some stories about Moms killing off the competition in Texas!!!
Its like a whole other country!
January 28th, 2010 at 2:10 pmWait. How come your oldest suddenly looks 26?
January 28th, 2010 at 10:40 pmChris says: Sigh, I know.