Bullet Point Wednesday
February 17, 2010
Because who has time for complete sentences these days.
- Spent almost an hour in the doctor’s office today where my 6 and 9yr olds were tested for strep and the flu. Both tests negative. They just have a virus. And I have $48 less in my wallet. $40 for the co-pay, $8 for the slushies from Sonic I promised to buy if they would JUST OPEN THEIR MOUTH already. Sheesh it is a long q-tip, not a dagger.
Better parenting through bribery I always say. (See also the parenting techniques called: empty threats, yelling, and counting to two repeatedly while saying, “Don’t make me say three.”)
- While waiting in the doctor’s office for all the tests to come back, we watched youtube videos on my iPhone. That alone justifies the cost. We watched the original Thriller video. My jaded children were nonplussed. I told them how when I was a kid it was so exciting and I stayed by my tv to watch the Thriller premiere.
Why didn’t you just tivo it, Mom?
The same reason I didn’t text my friends.
You didn’t have any?
Exactly
Though they were very interested in the fact that Michael Jackson used to be black. Then we watched vintage Sesame street videos. A fact that made me feel very old– or as they say now– vintage.
-I think my children eat socks for snacks. That is the only explanation I can come up with to explain the sock disappearance in my house. My oldest son accused me of “doing something” with all of his socks. Yes, son, I throw them away because I love listening to you whine and complain about your missing socks almost as much as spending my hard earned money replacing them!
- My children were feverish, yet compliant and quiet when I brought them into the doctor. She loaded them up on Motrin and now they won’t stop bitching and moaning about everything under the sun. They want to be entertained:
What are we doing today?
We are doing THIS. THIS is what we are doing.
Then I gesticulate at the nothingness that surrounds me.
They want to eat. French fries.
I make them while they whhhiiiiiiine about how hungry they are. Whhhhhhyyyyy is it taking so long. They will surely diiiiiiiiie.
When the fries are done cooking they eat three french fries. Total
- This is my new hairdo. I sense that this will be a running theme this year. I am embracing my inner 12 yr old. I never wear my hair in a ponytail. Ever. So this is as dramatic a new hairdo as the haircut from hell. I have been wearing all my big earrings to detract from the hair. Look, something shiny! Literally!
Ignore the claw that is my hand.
-I have given up sugar and alcohol for Lent. I have not, however, given up Nyquil. I bought several bottles in anticipation of the next 30 days.
Oh, I kid. Wine is way cheaper than Nyquil.
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I laughed (sorry if it was at your expense). And then I thought, this is what lies ahead of me. My twins are now 5, and most often the inmates run the asylum.
I am sending you a metaphorical wine opener. Or a screw cap bottle.
February 17th, 2010 at 5:11 pmYou are beautiful.
February 17th, 2010 at 5:21 pmMy kids just eat parts of their socks. The heels and the toes. WHY are all of the boy socks missing heels and toes? The girls, apparently do not like the taste of Hanes cotton.
Like the earrings! Good trick.
February 17th, 2010 at 5:50 pmThe Toddler definitely eats socks for a snack. I take his socks away when we get in the car, otherwise he will strip them off his feet and no matter how hard we search we can only ever find one of them.. True Story.
Hopefully the virus kids are feeling better soon. Don’t you just love sick kids. ugh.
February 17th, 2010 at 6:13 pmI gave up wine. It is definitely a sacrifice. The ponytail works. You could pull it to the side for variety. Have you ever tried half of your hair pulled back with the rest down?
February 17th, 2010 at 6:15 pmIn our house, after one…..two…comes “three means fifty p!”
50 pence deduction from his weekly pocket money. Bribery with a twist
February 17th, 2010 at 7:24 pmSo I literally just spit out my drink at the MJ black comment. Oh and lovin’ to see where all the “magic” happens in the Jordan household. Cute new do and definitely better than leaving it down. Wish I could say my hair hasn’t ended up in a ponytail at least once a week for the last 5 years, but I can’t. I’ve vowed not to take my kids to the doctor anymore unless they are dying. The words, “It’s a virus” are way too familiar and I refuse to shell out huge co-pays to just hear that familiarity.
February 17th, 2010 at 8:09 pmNo question, my favorite blog. Love it!
February 17th, 2010 at 8:25 pmChris,
As a mother of three, I too deal with: sick kids, sock problems, whiny kids, smart assed teenagers and the occaisonal bad hair day. My suggestion? Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka… with Sprite, with lemonade, over ice or straight outta the bottle in a brown paper bag… trust me, it’ll make all of the above just fade away… (although it will probably screw you on that “Lent” thing… just sayin’…) Sorry if I sound like an infomercial but it is seriously the NECTAR OF THE GODS!!!
Also? Love your blog!
Chris says: I just tried that Sweet Tea vodka a couple months ago and it was SO SO GOOD! Everyone should run out and buy it. And drink for me.
February 17th, 2010 at 8:41 pmSorry the kids are sick, and sorrier still the dr gave them motrin and woke them up. BTDT with the fries. Wouldn’t it be better if it were some food I’m usually sneaking around to eat so I don’t have to share? But no, I don’t even like them. sigh.
Didn’t notice the hand until you said something; I was envying that gorgeous bed.
February 17th, 2010 at 10:51 pmCan I trade my good haircut and my LOOKS for your ponytail and looks?
Please?
I’ll be your best friend.
Or, I mean, your BFF. Don’t want to sound so vintage, you know.
February 17th, 2010 at 10:52 pmI think Lent is 40 days long…if it were 30 I would definately entertain the thought of giving up alcohol… but 40?? I don’t want to fail. Or go to hell. Hair is cute up, atleast you don’t have a fat head.
February 17th, 2010 at 11:08 pmOh yes, throat cultures and slushies from Sonic! I think we’ve done that at least 6 times this year already!! Today, we were in for xrays! Oh fun! I totally know how you feel.
February 17th, 2010 at 11:12 pmNobody got rewarded at Sonic for this little injury today. Only got sent back to school the minute we were done and found out nothing was broken.
I love your hair color. Shouldn’t you go back and get your hair cut fixed? Or find another hair stylist and have her/him fix the cut for you?
February 17th, 2010 at 11:27 pmThis is all very true and real across the board! Any time I spend a day at the doctor’s with my kids I come home broke. It is so bad cause it really makes some people think twice about bringing them!
February 17th, 2010 at 11:59 pmI love lists, bullet-pointed or not!
I too am saddened by being vintage and in general related to quite a bit on the list.
yay for parenting!
February 18th, 2010 at 1:11 amUm, wow. Your hair looks gorgeous! (As do you. There is no way that you are 40. I was sulking to my daughter about how I have more than a few wrinkles. This screen was up and as I pointed to your wrinkle free face she said “But Muuuuum, you aren’t 30!” Waaaah) Can we trade hair? I would love a pony-tail like that without hours of straightening and buckets of product.
Sorry, ignorant Aussie here. What is Nyquil?
February 18th, 2010 at 5:36 amActually I think the new hairdo looks good.
February 18th, 2010 at 6:18 amI feel pathetic now because I wear a ponytail almost every day. It’s sad. The thriller video is great, but one of my friends showed it to her 5 year old and 7 year old and now they are scared to death by it! Really? I never really thought it was scary!
February 18th, 2010 at 8:26 amGirlfriend, you ROCK the ponytail! I swear you look like your kids’ sister instead of their mother! I like the earrings, too! (Could I possibly use some more exclamation points?!?!) I hope your hair grows out fast but in the meantime you really do look fabulous with the ponytail!
February 18th, 2010 at 8:39 amIt looks much better in a pony tail, it’s lovely! And I mean it. Sorry you’re still upset about it, I would be too. Probably crying my eyeballs out, but it’ll get better.
February 18th, 2010 at 8:52 amLoved the last bullet point! I’d never do something so drastic as to give up alcohol or chocolate for Lent. I know the point is to sacrifice. I consider that my 2 boys are both still alive a sacrifice in itself some days.
February 18th, 2010 at 8:55 amIs it bad that I only give my kids ibuprofen if their fever hits 101? I know they rest better and I tell them the fever is “burning germs.”
And I like to call that particular parenting technique a “reward system.” Sounds better than bribery.
February 18th, 2010 at 9:28 amWe were watching a Michael Jackson video…I think it was “Bad” because we had just watched “Fat” by Weird Al…and I said something about “him” and my daughter says, “That’s a BOY?!”
February 18th, 2010 at 10:11 amIt was priceless!
OMG! You look fantastic in that ponytail! Seriously.
I cannot imagine anyone never wearing a ponytail. I have long hair too (not as long as yours, but still pretty long) and sadly I default to the ponytail a little too often. So easy! And if I looked as cute in my ponytail as you do in yours, I’d wear it even more often!
Two other thoughts–it never occurred to me how odd it must be for children today to see the “old” Michael Jackson. Weird, right? They must be flummoxed by his changed skin color (and everything else). The rest of us saw it happen. Also–is it Lent now already? (Serious question.) It’s time to give something up? Sigh.
February 18th, 2010 at 10:21 amIt’s not bribery; it’s “rewarding.” As in…if you’ll shut up, I’ll “reward” you some m’n'ms.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:10 amSugar and alcohol for Lent? Please say that is a joke. If not, you have far more willpower than I do. I tried giving up desserts one year and was crabby, crabby, meanypants for 40 days. Hope the kids feel better and less whiny today!
February 18th, 2010 at 11:28 amHugs.. I feel your pain..
February 18th, 2010 at 11:55 amSeriously … you’re so danged cute.
February 18th, 2010 at 12:53 pmYour pony tail looks sleek and sophisticated. Now go chug a bottle of Nyquil and enjoy it’s dissociative (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative) and hallucinogenic properties. Way better than wine and you stick with your lenten commitments!
BTW: my iphone has worked similar miracles with my four year old. I just bought a Very Expensive Case to protect it from the inevitable dropsies.
Thank you so much for your blog. As I convalesce in my bad today with Netflix I am truly grateful for your levity.
February 18th, 2010 at 1:15 pmBribery is okay, I know this because our Pastor’s wife said so. And my husband accuses me of kicking his socks under the bed, which I would never do, I prefer them to be visible at all times so that he might just pick them up and put them in the wash already. And I think you look good with a pony tail and the fancy earrings!
February 18th, 2010 at 2:36 pmNow I know how my son (and everyone who happens to look in his direction) feels every time I give him a haircut (by haircut I mean: chop his hair off).
February 18th, 2010 at 2:55 pmI hope your kids are feeling better!
Isn’t Lent 40 days??
Chris says: Yes! It is! I think I was in denial when I typed this post.
February 18th, 2010 at 2:59 pmLOL…I like the new ‘do - looks so “fit mommy.” I too gave up sugar for Lent….
February 18th, 2010 at 4:31 pmOK, socks. Do you have a front loader machine? If so, pull back the rubber lining that seals the door and look inside. I recently found–literally–4 years of socks, nursing pads, washcloths, etc. sitting under the lining, rotting quietly away.
February 18th, 2010 at 4:32 pmChris they are called “power ponies” in the big city, wear it with pride.
February 18th, 2010 at 4:57 pmMy 3-year-old son, who is home semi-sick, stopped bouncing around long enough to look over my shoulder at your picture and ask, “Who’s that pwetty lady, Mama?” So… big earrings and ponytails work for you!
February 18th, 2010 at 5:49 pmAh yes. “Vintage.” That word absolutely cracks me up. “USED CLOTHING” is used clothing. Calling it vintage is just beyond me. (That said, I love used clothing.)
Oh. And he used to be black… Ah ha ha ha!! I needed that giggle, thanks.
February 18th, 2010 at 7:07 pmPersonally - I think you look very pretty with a ponytail. It may not be ideal but it will get you through. Your post about your haircut cracked me up though - I was having my hair done the very next day and I was telling everyone about it - (loved the comment about the difference between an inch for regular people as opposed to a hair stylists inch!) Then the trip to Burger King really had me going - you have such a gift for storytelling. I enjoy stopping in to see what has been going on in your life. I started following your blog when you were on the Butterball site this past Thanksgiving and have even gone through some of the archives - you have made me laugh out loud and cry sentimental tears (from the sweet posts you write for your childrens birthdays). You are a very talented lady. Thank you for sharing! PS - made “crack” for my family this past weekend (even making your taco seasoning) and it was a huge hit especially with my 14 year old and all his buddies. :o)
February 18th, 2010 at 7:58 pmYou gave up alcohol??? Ugh, so good. I only gave up bread. You know strep is going around here too and I am in VT. I’m thinking I might be reliving your DR. appt. tomorrow.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:06 pmPretty sure Nyquil contains both alcohol and sugar. Whoops!
February 19th, 2010 at 12:50 amI absolutely love that painting in the background.
February 19th, 2010 at 1:40 amI think you look quite cute with a ponytail! long time reader, first time commenter, but I just wanted to ask where you got your pillows?? they are really cute. although, i think my husband would kill me if i bought such “girly” bedding…
February 19th, 2010 at 2:07 amI have to say….you’re rockin’ the pony tail. Congrats.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:13 pmAt least your kids have the decency to act sick when they stay home. My 5-year-old was sent home three times in the past two weeks for being sick all. over. the. place. She did not throw up at home or even act like anything was wrong. I tried to decide what level of bad-parenting it would be if I explained to her how mommy’s very small bank of sick time worked.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:52 pmI’m laughing and gasping at the same time.
why, Why, WHY did you give them BOTH up at once?
WHY? I”m sorry - but I will indeed drink for you!
The pony tail isn’t bad at all ~ but are you wearing the sunglasses like a headband because you neeeeeeeed to - or because that is where they landed? The earrings are a nice touch.
February 21st, 2010 at 9:49 pmI think you look cute in the ponytail. With your hair being so straight, a slicked back ponytail can be very sophisticated.
February 22nd, 2010 at 2:53 pmThe ponytail is cute….which is probably not the look you were going for.
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:59 pm