Plaguemageddon
February 26, 2010
While some of you are sufferring from SNOWmageddon, we have been suffering from the plague here.
The plague which leaves you feverish, coughing, and in the case of one member of this family, wishing for better bladder control.
I texted Susan yesterday that I really need to keep better track of my periods, if only for the fact so I can know whether or not the muderous rage I feel is justified or the result of PMS. I told her I would normally eat a handful of candy and down a bottle of wine, but I gave those up for Lent. So clearly my only available option was murder. She agreed. Jesus would understand. She also offered me bail money and isn’t that what friends are for? It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Or maybe that was the Nyquil. (I will cough on the first person who points out that Nyquil contains both alcohol and sugar. It is medicinal. Jesus approved loophole.)
I was thinking this morning, as I rushed my 15yr old out the front door while shoving Sudafed and dollar bills into his hand, that highschool is so much more intense now than I remember it. (That makes it sound like he is running a meth lab in his spare time, doesn’t it? He isn’t. At least not that I know of. Kids these days!) My son is so busy, and while I get on him for not making the best use of his time, the truth of the matter is that he doesn’t have all that much free time to waste. Which comes full circle back to why I get so annoyed when he doesn’t make the most efficient use of his free time.
He told me the other day his life motto is why do it today if I can do it tomorrow, because tomorrow you might forget all about it. Said, of course, with a flash of the dimples that allow him to get away with murder.
Last night he arrived home from his baseball game at 10:45pm. I fell asleep while waiting for him. He woke me to find out if there was any leftover dinner. There wasn’t. I told him to eat some cereal. For the record, he had money to go and eat dinner after school, before the bus left for the game. Which he did, but that had been at 5:00 and teenagers need to eat as often as newborns.
I handed him another $10 this morning. Yup, he has another game tonight. I hope all the exercise helps keeps his arteries unclogged in spite of all the fast food he is eating
I had more I was going to write, but you know when you find yourself singing along to the Fresh Beat Band that it is time to get up and get your ass out of the damn house. Especially when you look down at yourself and discover you are wearing two hoodies on top of each other, one of which has Nyquil dripped down the front of it, and a pair of yoga pants with the knees worn out. Man, I am so sexy.
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Isn’t there something called PMSbuddy.com that will send you an alert? I’ve heard someone else talk about it on their blog. Also, go go with your found sound solo!
February 26th, 2010 at 11:54 amthis sounds like it was written in a drunken haze. and i have to tell you, i like it.
February 26th, 2010 at 12:04 pmFrom former posts, I gathered you were not a religious person. Have things changed?
February 26th, 2010 at 12:16 pmwhere’s the photo
I hope you feel better and i tell my self the same thing about fast food they are young they burn it off.
My sons motto has been it okay mom to be average. Yes son it is okay to be average if average is your best.
HMMMM can’t seem to get him to understand the your best part. maybe some day. as for now him and his buddies are digging tunnels in large snowbanks to link together. oh to be young again. I am trying to figure out why i did not shop yesterday in the pouring rain and opted for shooping in the blizzard today.
Feel better and send us sunshine
February 26th, 2010 at 1:44 pmNyquil - the nectar of the gods!
February 26th, 2010 at 2:14 pmThat would be the time to get your ‘Loco Legs’ up and into the shower!
February 26th, 2010 at 2:30 pmDo you have an iPhone? There are several free apps in the App Store that let you keep track of your periods.
February 26th, 2010 at 2:43 pmNah nah nah nah nah nah let’s go bananas…..I feel your pain
February 26th, 2010 at 3:20 pmI can imagine that look you are rocking means your husband can’t keep his hands off you ;).
February 26th, 2010 at 3:35 pmhope you get better soon - with lots of NyQuil, of course.
Thank God for NyQuil! I actually buy this stuff at Costco.
I want to know, are the double-hoodies your son’s?
February 26th, 2010 at 3:36 pmCause that’s much more comforting.
Re: keeping track of the crimson wave, I use MyMonthlyCycles.com. It’s free and sends me an e-mail at just the right time every month saying, “Aunt flo’s on the way!” It guesses based on when your periods have come in previous months. Handy!
February 26th, 2010 at 3:39 pmUgh! Sounds awful. And I think you should grant yourself a Lenten exemption for the Nyquil for sure.
Hope you feel better soon.
February 26th, 2010 at 3:56 pmI have been wearing those yoga pants for so long that I forgot how jeans were supposed to fit…
February 26th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
I know, I know. (ours was the throw up virus though)
February 26th, 2010 at 8:17 pmChris,
February 26th, 2010 at 8:36 pmI too gave up wine for Lent. I say this as I sit at the computer with a glass of vino next to me. I’m sorry & I’ve told God I’m sorry, but I’m just not sure I was meant to raise children sober.
I’m enjoying the more “mom,” less “kids” blogs lately…does that make sense? Anyway - glad you are posting regularly lately.
Finally - previous blog comment: ‘old house’ kharma is a real phenomena (sp?). Been there…some of us just aren’t ‘new house’ people. Glad to hear you’re making it work, even though you miss the old house.
I love your blog and you make me laugh. I LOVE the Fresh Beat Band comment. I am so with you on that! Thank you. And I hope that you feel better soon!
February 26th, 2010 at 10:48 pmI woke up this morning to “OOOHHH Mommy!” and flying vomit. We have the plague here, too. All of us. Poor 4-yr-old is resting with his head on the toilet seat like he’s been drinking for two days straight. He looks like a pro. I admit that in the midst of it all, I posted his miserable little pic on my blog…such cruelty. THEN I took off the vomit-covered yoga pants (which have holes, too). I am seriously considering the Nyquil route.
February 26th, 2010 at 11:35 pmI remember so clearly that part of high school. Be comforted to know that (at least so far) my arteries appear to have suffered no permanent damage. My eating habits continued to swing back and forth throughout college, but appear to have settled in the realm of healthy. It’s may just be what high school is for.
Also, I spent the whole day in a hoodie and yoga pants covered in flour, but, unlike you, I have no good excuse.
February 27th, 2010 at 4:15 amThe Plague makes us do crazy things like sing along with the Fresh Beat Band. Although if you’re going to get a plague, the coughing feverish one is better than the puking like a rockstar one we had and that seems to be going around our area.
February 27th, 2010 at 8:12 amWooo, mama!
Except . . how dare you get “fresh Beat Band” songs stuck in my head. Just because you feel miserable, you had to make the rest of us miserable too.
February 27th, 2010 at 8:24 amHigh school has been so pressured. I’m suggesting my senior will find college a nice break.
February 27th, 2010 at 9:21 amI am having the exact same problem with PMS, giving up sugar for Lent, and murder. Sigh.
February 27th, 2010 at 10:04 amok…just came across your blog and found myself laughing out loud at some of your posts, enough so to get curious eyes from the hubby. will be coming back fequently, if only to know i’m not the only “sexy” one out there!
February 27th, 2010 at 9:00 pmWow, quite a picture you painted in that post. A friend said the nyquil falls under the kitty Dukakis loophole (somewhere in the backnof the bible) so no worries. And then there is always confession which takes care of most transgressions. Thanks for sharing with such good humor!
February 28th, 2010 at 12:55 amPraying you are feeling better now!
And I am so not reading for those hectic high school years. Mine are still in the hectic elementary school years. High school is already giving me nightmares. ha ha!
February 28th, 2010 at 9:14 amRegarding high school being more intense now–it isn’t your imagination. I recently saw a documentary you might be interested in, called the Race to Nowhere. It was made locally, so it’s been showing frequently in my area (Bay Area), but I think it is also being shown in other parts of the country. http://www.racetonowhere.com/ Check it out if you’re interested.
February 28th, 2010 at 3:14 pmWhy aren’t the comments being posted anymore?
February 28th, 2010 at 4:43 pmI wish Susan was my friend …. she rocks!
March 1st, 2010 at 2:35 amPeriod tracker tip - if you have an iphone, itouch or Droid phone they all have Period Tracker apps. It’s turned into one of my favorite apps. Keeps me prepared and explains my rage too!
March 1st, 2010 at 1:35 pmI’ve had the hacking plague for over a week. I think I need stock in Nyquil and Depends
March 1st, 2010 at 8:14 pm