The Better to See You With
March 10, 2010
Miles drew these picture of us the other day. I am the one with the pink hair. He is still at the developmental stage of drawing where his people aren’t realistic. The arms are coming out of our gigantic heads. There are bodies, but no legs. Fingers, but no hands. Sometimes there is a mouth, but not always. And the eyes are oddly detaile.d. It defies rationalization– so you see the outline of the eyes and the iris, but yet give no notice to the fact that human beings have a NOSE right there IN THE MIDDLE of their faces.
I love these drawings. All children start out drawing like this. Soon this stage will pass. Replaced by the symbolic generic people standing on the green grass line at the bottom of the page, a blue line of sky at the top, and the always present smiling sun in the corner of the paper. My daughter is in this stage now. Hundreds of trees have died so she can make virtually identical drawings.
This week I registered Miles for kindergarten.
I will admit that I practically skipped through the front door of the school, swinging my arms and waving his birth certificate around. I was not, however, waving his social security card, proof of residency, or immunization records around. I am not that on top of my game.
I was just happy that I remembered to go to the school on the designated registration day.
*****
While I am chronicling my failures, yesterday was picture day at school. I did not know this until my neighbor mentioned buying her daughter a new sweater and BRINGING IT TO THE SCHOOL MID-DAY so her daughter could change. It isn’t the schools fault. I am sure that they sent home ample notices which I really did plan on getting around to reading one of these days.
So my kids will be the ones who are keeping it real, dressed in the class photo the way they are dressed everyday: oversized hoodies, tap out shirts, and crooked ponytails (in the case of my daughter) I like to think of it as doing my part to help the other parents feel superior about their parenting skills. It is my gift to them. I am quite good at it, too.
I wonder if there is a job market for that skill.
*****
The principal asked me if I was going to be sad sending Miles off to school. And I think my hearty, “Hello, no,” may have frightened her a little bit.
But that isn’t the entire truth. It isn’t a sadness that he is going off to school, it is a sadness of what is being left behind. Right now he is wearing his Batman pajamas (with cape!), eating toast slathered with cream cheese, while singing along to the Little Einsteins.
The principal told me how she found herself wistful when her youngest was passing milestones. Because once the baby cooing was gone, it was gone. And she is right. That is the bittersweet part of this parenting gig. Milestones reached mean that another milestone has ended.
Those baby teeth you once celebrated erupting from tiny gums, if only because the teething pain and crying would stop, those impossibly small, square little teeth now fall out and are placed under pillows. They are replaced by huge teeth, which every time you catch the sight of them make you wonder what sort of summer home your orthodontist is going buy with your hard earned money.
And, more importantly, will he invite you for a visit.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
I love school pictures that show the real child.
March 10th, 2010 at 2:40 pmMy baby boy is 16 and I’m trying to enjoy every minute with him cause dang, it’s going fast.
i am SO that mom. i hold in my hand a set of school photos and one child has on the most ridiculous outfit. the most awesome thing about this is that i had no idea school photos had even come and gone.
i have decided when they are adult and question me about it I am just going to remind them of how cool i was to let them where what they wanted on picture day.
March 10th, 2010 at 3:07 pmDon’t mind me if I sniffle a little with this post… How true that the beginning of one milestone is the end of another.
I think this is why I watch my 15 month old son like a hawk… I don’t want to miss the moments, no matter how glad I am that he sleeps through the night or finally is off the bottle or for the love of Pete! touches everything he can see.
March 10th, 2010 at 3:27 pmMy baby starts kindergarten in the fall too. I guess that means I’ll actually have to do school with her instead of giving her some puzzles or pbskids.org to play while I do school with the others.
How are things w/the bullies? Did you have to open up a can of whoop-ass on anyone yet?
March 10th, 2010 at 3:44 pmOh I love this drawing phase - its fun to keep a couple just to compare as they get older. I did this with my daughter and when she used to tease her brother I pulled her old drawings out and said see - you did it too!
I have to say I was very excited for my middle son to head to kindergarten - for him and for myself! I don’t know how I’ll feel for my youngest. I am guessing it will be harder just based on the fact that although it makes my life more difficult, I didn’t send him to pre-k at 3 like I did with my others so I may be trying to hold on a bit. And when I see him playing some days it hits me in the gut that no one is going to play with the Little Tykes car soon and no one is going to ride our little green tractor, and what about all these Thomas The Train items he wants so badly and begs for, studying the little booklet and telling us all the time which items he’d like us to buy (dang those wooden ones are expensive - anyone have a free deluxe roundhouse?!!)
just have one question - what the heck is a tap out shirt?
now excuse me while I go do my part to make all other parents look good - I specialize in that and being the “meanest mom on the block”.
March 10th, 2010 at 3:49 pmIt is sad to see it over huh? What the hell will you do with all your free time?
March 10th, 2010 at 4:06 pmI love your posts. Every. Single. One. Because you write exactly what is inside my head. I just don’t have the gift to articulate it so perfectly. I’m all about the real. I love how you keep it that way!
March 10th, 2010 at 4:07 pmMy youngest is in Pre-K. I cried the day of the lottery drawing - not because I was sending my baby to school, but because she didn’t get in. I spent the whole summer praying for people to move or decided to send their kid to a church school so that mine could have their spot. It worked. She made it, but every now and then I miss having her home with me.
As for the orthodontist, I’m planting a seed, pay for 4 get the 5th child free.
March 10th, 2010 at 4:16 pmWell, just have another!! You can be the Texas version of the Duggars!! I’M KIDDING!
March 10th, 2010 at 4:21 pmUm, by the way, when are you going to change your About page? You no longer live in the Frozen Tundra.
March 10th, 2010 at 4:22 pmI miss the chubby checks. One day they just disappeared, now I get to adore other people’s kid’s chubby checks while avoiding the dirty diapers!! I do love school…. at least until real homework starts…. yuck!
March 10th, 2010 at 4:59 pmI can hear in your post the way I feel a great deal of the time these days. Bittersweet. Betwixt and Between.
And it sure doesn’t help any to have these teenagers growing up and away and heading off to college in a few very quick years.
We are renting a beach house next summer and my BIL commented that, since we do this every three years, it will be the last year we do this before Kate goes off to college. Argh! I know it is coming but somehow it still manages to surprise me every time.
March 10th, 2010 at 5:40 pmI am registering my youngest for Kindy too. I believe the exact words that came out of my mouth yesterday were “I canNOT WAIT for them to BOTH be in school so I can eat bon-bons and watch Oprah like everyone thinks I do now!”
March 10th, 2010 at 6:59 pm“I like to think of it as doing my part to help the other parents feel superior about their parenting skills. It is my gift to them. I am quite good at it, too.” Loved this part!!
Peace.
March 10th, 2010 at 7:43 pmI love how the artist in you describes this drawing stage. Enjoy those milestones! I feel you. I think I won’t look back once my youngest starts Kindergarten–in 4 years.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:11 pmAs the last milestone we just passed was potty training (WOO!), I am not feeling the LEAST bit wistful. Diapers? PFFT.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:18 pmFor the first three years of my daughter’s life I was so excited when she reached the milestones. Now I look at my daughter and feel like she grew up overnight…and she is only four! I have a feeling you will miss your son when he starts school (more than you think)
March 10th, 2010 at 9:56 pmWhen my oldest son was in second grade, I somehow missed the Today is Picture Day notice. He had chosen to wear a gray t-shirt with a giant pumpkin on it. Not that it was near Halloween or anything. To say nothing of the uncombed hair. Other parents did the clean shirt thing. We did the pumpkin shirt thing.
March 10th, 2010 at 11:12 pmI found out my son had school photos the day he brought them home and told me he needed 15 Euro to take back to school if we wanted to keep them. I could have cried when I saw what he was wearing–the rattiest, ripped up, hand-me-down sweat he owns and hair badly needing a cut and comb. Yes, the school sent home a note. He just never bothered to show it to me.
My caboose baby is nearing nine months. I’m savouring every last tiny little detail as she grows. Very bittersweet.
March 11th, 2010 at 6:06 amThe school pictures thing reminds me of the big preschool graduation for my daughter last year, where my daughter was in denim, had kicked off her shoes to reveal dirty bare feet, and had wild hair sticking out everywhere. While everyone else’s children looked like their “Sunday Best.”
The other parents had all come early to change and spiff up their children. I was actually dorky enough to ask the teacher if there was a notice I’d missed, but no, it seems all the other NORMAL parents just instinctively knew that this was what they should do.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:09 amI’ve been having a hard time with some of the milestones for my youngest. I don’t mourn the passing of teething or weaning. I will rejoice in potty training. I will not miss diapers. I could wait forever for talking because once they start, they don’t stop, and they always start before I’ve had enough caffeine in the morning. I may even be sad for Kindergarten. We’re having a whiny day today, so Kindergarten sounds lovely right now.
March 11th, 2010 at 9:15 amI’ve always felt it was my job to make other parents feel superior. And I do superbly, if you need any tips. (Being late is always good, missing birthday parties really rocks.)
And I didn’t cry when my twins started kindergarten. And my daughter’s hair looked like complete hell even though I *did* know about the pictures, so there’s that.
My orthodontist dances a jig (he takes exceedingly expensive lessons) when my three come through the door. I figure he’s at least got a summer home, possibly a BMW out of my three. Sadly, this is only minimally hyperbolic.
Love, love the blog. I have three and I’m half dead. Four more? I’d probably lose them or something. So good job for you!
March 11th, 2010 at 9:33 amMe being an emotional marshmallow - I cried (after I dropped them off) on their first days … of EVERY GRADE until … well I still get choked up - but I don’t actually cry any more. This year was 9th and 11th. I am feeling the pangs of regret these days that I didn’t spend more time being fun with them. I think you and your blog have pointed that out to me more recently. I hope I didn’t scar them for life, but they are good kids - for teenagers!
March 11th, 2010 at 9:44 amWhen a parent you quietly admire (you, that mom I pass all the time who appears completely confident, together, thin - yes - you are thin to those of us who aren’t, etc.) when those parents actually do something human - like appear frazzled one rare day, or don’t have their kids dressed perfectly for picture day - it makes me feel better not because I’m wishing anyone a frazzled less than perfect day - but it reminds me that we all have them - thanks for being human too!
I sent my baby to kindergarten this fall and was wistful and bittersweet - no tears - but a lot of sighs… Good luck!
March 11th, 2010 at 10:00 amI only have two children, but I mourn each passing phase with my youngest. She’s my last baby. I cried when we took the crib down. I look at that little toddler belly and wonder “How much longer will it be like that?” How much longer until she starts rolling her eyes at me? Kindergarten?- I’ll be in full mess mode!
March 11th, 2010 at 10:54 amMy daughter just turned three and I am having a hard time getting used to the fact that her baby days are truly over. There are days when every minute seems like a year and you are longing for bed time, but in reality the time with your children goes by so fast. So I often wish that my daughter would not grow up quite so quickly. At the same time I am so looking forward to experiencing every stage of her growth from child to young adult to woman and so far, every stage of her development from baby to toddler has been so fascinating and wonderful to experience.
My daughter is in preschool 3 mornings a week and was also the one in her usual paint stained clothes for the school photo with her hair a riot. For some reason as a child my mother thought a short back and sides a great cut for a little girl, so I never learnt how to do ponytails let alone anything more clever.
I love your blog and your fun posts are always about the things every Mom is experiencing.
March 11th, 2010 at 11:01 amI will NEVER get rid of the batman pajamas and cape that my youngest still tries to wear on occasion even though they last fit him last year! Hello, no!
March 11th, 2010 at 11:35 amThe bit about the orthodontist brought back memories of my teen years when my parents had 5 kids in braces all at the same time! My mom used to show us the orthodontist’s Saab(maybe it was a Porche? I don’t remember) out in the parking lot and tell us that SHE was paying for that car!LOL
My baby is in 2nd grade this year, and I’m loving the 6 or 7 hours of peace I get while all the kids are gone. I think you’ll love the peace and quiet too, from the sounds of it.
March 11th, 2010 at 11:46 amYou mentioned “Little Einsteins”. Is it weird that what gets me sentimental about milestones gone by are the theme songs to “Dora, the Explorer” and “Sesame Street”? I get wistful thinking about the Wiggles and High Five. In fact, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going into the bathroom to sob. I may turn on “Blue’s Clues” while the kids are at school.
March 11th, 2010 at 12:20 pmFor years I hated my second grade picture. I had worn my hair in braids the day before and on this day had them in ponytails. The crimped hair look was not cool, back in the day. Now it’s by far my favorite picture.
March 11th, 2010 at 2:34 pmI join you in your sentiments. My baby (of 4) enters Kindergarten next year as well. I missed the sign up date
so will have to register her after Spring Break. My oldest will be 16 soon. Bittersweet. That’s so it.
March 11th, 2010 at 3:05 pmOh, I love those drawings. My kindergartener is into making lists of the words she knows how to spell. The other day, she came home with one of those lists/drawings and right in the middle was the word “dandruff.” Oh, public school, how I love you.
March 11th, 2010 at 5:24 pmI have a question, if you don’t mind. Did you homeschool Miles at all? Okay, maybe 2, are you concerned at all how he will adjust to school? I ask, because my husband is so worried about our 4 year old who I will be sending to school this fall. I have taught him things, but not in a formal sit down method, just while we were out and about or at home.
We had an interview at our chosen school and he didn’t do so well. I am afraid he won’t get in and I will be shuttling 2 kids to 2 different schools. *sigh* Thanks
Chris says: Nope, I didn’t homeschool Miles at all. He knows his letters, how to spell his name, and how to count to 10.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:01 pmEveryday a new journey. Enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow.
March 12th, 2010 at 11:42 amI failed at picture day this year at Grace’s daycare. Yes, she is wearing a neon green Christmas Hello Kitty t-shirt. And it was the best picture taken of her all year.
However, the Hubby failed even worse!! I left him alone to manage kindergarten picture day (yes, it was a mistake from the moment I made the decision to do that). I left a dress layed out and a hair clip and tights. How could he possibly screw it up?? When the pictures came back……….my 5 1/2 year old daughter had her dress on backwards. And you can tell - the front of the dress had ruffles and the back did not. Simple you would think!! I have not let the Hubby forget it.
SO yes, I am with you - I make the other parents look great!!!
March 12th, 2010 at 11:44 amAnother post that says exactly what I want to - only far better than I ever could.
March 12th, 2010 at 1:34 pmI have a photo of my oldest 2 sons that truly looks like it was taken at a homeless shelter. I am not so good at planning ahead.
March 12th, 2010 at 6:08 pmWhat is a tap out shirt?
March 15th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
I’ve really got nothing to say except that was such a sweet (and bittersweet) post.
March 16th, 2010 at 10:01 amYou probably answered this many times already but I haven´t been around for a while…why aren´t you homeschooling anymore?
March 22nd, 2010 at 9:39 pmChris says: The best answer I can give is that it was just time.