Playing Catch Up
March 17, 2010
So there was this conference? You might have heard of it? SXSW?
This past weekend I was thrilled to hang out with so many friends, both old and new. Eat out at restaurants and have cocktails mid-day with no thoughts about taking care of children. Or driving. Sleeping in until 9:00 am. Of course after which I mused to Susan and Kristin, “I feel like the whole day is shot now and I will never catch up!”
I had long talks with my friends Susan and Maggie, who listened to me drone on and on and then offered constructive career advice. Everyone needs friends who say things like, “Tell me what it is you want and then we will figure out how to make it happen.” Maggie left me inspired in a way that I have not been for a very long time.
While I was there the NY Times article was published. I couldn’t get myself worked up about it. Not because it wasn’t an assinine and sensationalistic portrayal of women bloggers, but because it is so far removed from anything that I experience in the community of women that I consider friends and colleagues that I could not even reconcile the two in my head. The most outrage I could manage was to mutter to Susan that if you want to be taken seriously as a professional you need to start by doing certain things… like wearing shoes at professional events and not infantilize yourself by doing things like drinking out of sippycups (?!?!). It is the same fight in a different wrapper. And I am tired of it.
And maybe that is the thing I love best about this community, when you are too weary to fight the fight, there are others who are there doing it, carrying the mantle of professional women bloggers.*
As always happens, I took very few photos, all on my iPhone. So if you are interested in photos, here are some links:
Laura Mayeshas a recap of her excellent Kirtsy party.
*I would add all the links, but then I would be here all day. Mommy does have a life outside of the computer.
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Every single time I read (not just your site, on other’s as well) about the various blogging conferences, I feel a little sad that I’m not at that level, because you all sound so wonderful and it sounds like so much fun. Then, pretty much every single time, what follows are the stories about the drama and hurt feelings, and I realize that perhaps I am just as glad NOT to go. Maybe next time I could just show up, meet you and Susan for drinks (I think she’ll vouch I’m not a lunatic stalker) and skip the “formal” event that seems to cause so much trouble for so many.
March 17th, 2010 at 10:54 amWell said Kristie. I agree on both points. It makes me wonder - for every blog that I love, how many are there out there that would enrage me? I think I’m better off not knowing. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.
Chris - when I first read this I assumed you meant the music festival SXSW….or are the two tied? Any rock concerts at the conference?
March 17th, 2010 at 12:23 pmI know a sippy cupper. What IS that? Surely you’re supposed to grow out of that around 3 years old? Or am I parenting my kids all wrong, again?
March 17th, 2010 at 12:25 pmYou need to clue in the uninitiated among us - what is SXSW?
March 17th, 2010 at 12:46 pmSex for the Single Woman? I hope not.
Chris, I agree with Kristie. I read the blogs because I love the stories about your lives. I don’t like hearing about the ugly side of blogging. It’s like sausage being made. I hope that you and the other talented women continue to take the good ABOVE the bad. Your readers (well, I’m guessing most of them), are on your side.
March 17th, 2010 at 12:57 pmI had no idea what that conference was until I googled. I also knew nothing about the NYT article, and had to google that as well. I ended up on the page of someone I assume is a big blogging name because her name was dropped in quite a few places.
I roamed around her blog and found a post about how to leave comments. It was extremely off putting. Apparently I have been commenting all wrong. Like I need that pressure.
I am not a big name blogger and, most likely, will never be. And…that’s OK. I am not looking to market myself or create a brand or a blog character.
One of the reasons that I love your blog so much is because it began real, and stayed real. I have been reading you since the Big Yellow House days. You once wrote a post called “I have a difficult child” that resonated with me so deeply, I still think of it on really hard days. Your blog is one of my daily reads.
This is long and fragmented, I know. But, I am a mommy blogger so that’s to be expected. *gigantic eye-roll*
March 17th, 2010 at 1:00 pmHere is my favorite response to the article so far.
http://www.ciaranblumenfeld.com/2010/03/and-then-the-mommy-bloggers-win/
And for me, blogging gatherings are all about being inspired and motivated by other amazing women who are figuring out what they want and then just doing it. There’s seriously no end to the inspiration.
March 17th, 2010 at 1:06 pmI looked at the links and then googled SXSW2010
it looks like FUN
Hope you had a great time the pictures say that you looked like you were having fun (missed the Bathroom mirror picture of the group)
ps your hair looks great is it growing out or did you get it cut again.
March 17th, 2010 at 3:15 pmGreat attitude. I don’t understand how people can act unprofessionally, then get upset that others characterize them as unprofessional. I’m with you - sippy cups??! Love your blog.
March 17th, 2010 at 3:54 pmYou are just as photogenic as your kids! (your hair is looking better too!!)
March 17th, 2010 at 7:59 pmI have to ask you something, very honestly, as a blogger and someone who has read here for years. I know Tiffany, the woman who walked around barefooted at that conference. I’ve known her for 5 years, she introduced me to my husband. She’s a friend. But more than that, Tiffany wants nothing more than the promote women bloggers. She’s serious about what she does with bloggers.
Why does her walking around barefooted take away from her credibility? I absolutely understand (and agree) the sippy cup drink thing, but being shoeless? How do shoes make someone more credible or worthwhile in the community of blogging? I mean, at BlogHer there was a giant (awesome) unicorn cake which by all standards is pretty foolish, but does that mean that the panel I sat on with Valerie Jarrett to discuss health care wasn’t credible or important?
I appreciate your take on the article and am not trying to be over critical or confrontational (that’s not my style), I just don’t understand your point here. I don’t get how relaxing at a conference and being yourself, makes it not serious.
Chris says: I will rewrite how I answered this on twitter. Unless you are a lifeguard, or male porn star, you need to wear shoes to work.
And to be completely honest I am surprised that this is even a question. Being barefoot is not professional. It has nothing to do with whether or not she is a nice person, I am sure she is a very nice person. However, if you want to be taken seriously there are certain things you need to do. One of which is wear shoes.
March 17th, 2010 at 9:22 pmIt’s a question because of all the things that were in that article, it’s what you pointed out as the problem. To me, there were far bigger issues than barefootedness.
I get that you think the question is silly and that’s fine, you’re welcome to, but it stuck out to me in your blog post. That’s why I asked.
Chris says: What do you think were the bigger issues?
March 17th, 2010 at 9:57 pmI had two big issues with the article.
First, the title and the image that was published with it. To assume that mothers who blog don’t care for their kids or are too busy blogging to pay attention to their children (as the image portrayed), doesn’t seem like a fair generalization to make. I’m not a mom (yet), but I think that the assumption that because women are blogging they therefore aren’t caring for their families is absurd.
Second, I think likening blogging to a modern-day kaffeeklatsch is a little glib for a lot of people who take blogging seriously. Do men who write about technology and have conferences about technology get their work compared to kaffeeklatches? Wardrobe issues aside, the article read as if female bloggers only produced fluff, not writing, not anything of importance, and I just think that’s absolutely not the case.
March 17th, 2010 at 10:40 pmI’m with you, Chris. I have to wear shoes to work. We all have to wear shoes to work. I also have to wear shoes to anything related to work. It is all a part of presentation and “looking the part”. In my opinion, no shoes is equally as unprofessional as wearing no shirt or pants. The no-shirt part has no reflection on your personality (ummm, maybe it does in this case hahaha), but basically, if you want to be taken seriously, you wear a shirt/shoes/pants.
I’m also not the biggest fan of no shoes in public, but that is personal choice and who am I to judge?
P.S. I saw the UP cake on twitter. AWESOME! Did you think of the idea yourself?
March 18th, 2010 at 4:46 amI SO agree with Chris about the (lack of) shoes and the sippy cups! Argh! How are women supposed to be taken seriously (in ANY profession) if we’re presenting at major conferences IN BARE FEET and drinking out of toddler cups during said conferences? That is ridiculous and unprofessional, and makes the presenter and the attendees look foolish and even unintelligent. (Because what adult does not know that it is inappropriate to go barefoot and drink out of baby cups at a work event?!) I trust/hope South by Southwest was not like the conference in that NYT article!
March 18th, 2010 at 9:29 amI think the one of bigger issues are… when is the sun going to stay out long enough for me to get a tan?
I am screwed if shoes are blogging requirements. Are flip flops okay?
Am not going down the rabbit hole of blog angst posts everyone is linking to. I read a grand total of 7 blogs these days and have no interest in reading any others. The people I read I consider friends, and for me it was really never about building an empire. I just like to write, and through it I found a great job with a newspaper and now my blog is just something I do when I feel like it. All the conferences etc don’t interest me like they used to for this very reason….drama. I don’t do drama.
I would rather pack a cooler with good food, tecate and lime and hit the beach with all the kids and teach them how to surf. 11 kids and 2 moms at the beach might be considered insane by some, but it will be a heck of a lot more fun than giving yourself a headache thinking about this stuff, right? Oh, and at the coast, we don’t use sippy cups….we only drink our booze from 1 liter, rest stop mugs. Yo!
March 18th, 2010 at 10:23 amcan you link us to the NY Times article you speak of? i googled it but came up with 0. i am not so computer savy.
thanks
March 18th, 2010 at 11:19 amSo that’s how you do it! You start your day _before_ 9 a.m.? I’ve been approaching this all wrong.
March 18th, 2010 at 6:17 pmMaggie is wonderful. I also got into good conversations with her. She’s way smart.
March 21st, 2010 at 11:02 pm