41
May 6, 2010
This is how I want to remember yesterday. Happy. Sun drenched. Loved. Content.
It was those things.
It was a perfectly normal day, the sort you are only thankful for in retrospect.
Except underneath all of that is a melancholy that I am not sure I can even articulate. I have never liked celebrating my birthday. It feels like a day of inevitable disappointment. Disappointment over what I don’t know. That a unicorn didn’t fly over my house shitting rainbows?
Today I woke up with a fresh perspective, like I do every sixth of May. I can look back on my birthday and say, without hesitation, that it was a good day.
Posted by Chris @ 10:49 am
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Bon anniversaire!
May 6th, 2010 at 10:59 amYou have been a busy and productive girl in your 41 years. Cheers to the next 41!
May 6th, 2010 at 11:01 amThat photo captures Happy. I’m glad you had a great day, Chris.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:05 amYou have very accurately described how I have felt about most of my birthdays. Can’t quite put my finger on it either.
Happy Birthday to you, Chris. Thanks for bringing so much entertainment to us readers.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:13 amAs someone who once spent a birthday Googling “Worst birthday ever” I get that. I have a December birthday. Every year I work on lowering my expectations and planning things for myself. This year I did pretty well - and then for Christmas my husband gave me a magazine (not a subscription, just a single copy, because as he explained he spent his Christmas gift money on my birthday) - and I was in a funk for a week. I alternate between feeling cheated and then being mad at myself for having expectations.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:24 amHappy Birthday!
I really don’t want any kind of hoopla on my birthdays. And if no one throws me a surprise party, and I have to work, and my bills are still due to be paid - I’m okay.
HOWEVER. If something goes WRONG on my birthday? I’m a basket case. I may even cry. Maybe. “Wrong” may also have a loose definition on my birthday.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:46 amIt’s my birthday today and I understand the elation and the underlying melancholy. For me it’s realizing that I’m not where I want to be right now in my life…how long must I wait for that “I’m there!” feeling. I have love, a great kid, a house over my head, a car to drive. I’m like any other average person…but there’s something missing? hmm…hopefully I will have that perspective you speak of tomorrow! Happy Belated Birthday! May this year be filled with more happy then sad!
May 6th, 2010 at 11:49 amHappy Birthday!!! It was my 7 year old’s birthday yesterday also, she had a great day. I’m glad yours was good also.
May 6th, 2010 at 12:07 pmHappy Birthday Chris!
May 6th, 2010 at 12:15 pmHappy Birthday, Chris!!
May 6th, 2010 at 12:27 pmHappy Birthday, fellow 41-er.
May 6th, 2010 at 12:51 pmHappy belated Cinco de Mayo birthday! Hope you celebrated with a margarita!
May 6th, 2010 at 1:02 pmWhat a perfect capture of emotions evoked. Happy 41st!
May 6th, 2010 at 1:25 pmHappy Birthday. I have the same feelings about my birthday & hope to have the same perspective on May 13 that you have today. It’s all good.:)
May 6th, 2010 at 1:48 pmHappy birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 1:50 pmHappy birthday. Next year, I’ll send a unicorn.
May 6th, 2010 at 1:51 pmHappy Birthday — and it was a beautiful evocation of birthdays and the emotions and thoughts they provoke for many of us. I hope your year ahead is filled with love and peace and health.
May 6th, 2010 at 1:54 pmHappy belated birthday.
Not sure I can come up with the words either, but I feel you. I felt the same way a few weeks ago on my birthday. Somehow it’s never what I hope it will be. Although, I’m not sure what I hope it will be.
I hope there was cake.
May 6th, 2010 at 2:01 pmI thought I was the only person who felt that way about birthdays.
May 6th, 2010 at 2:17 pmHappy birthday anyway!
happy birthday, kris; glad you can look back on the day with such contentment.
May 6th, 2010 at 2:22 pmI always feel this way on my birthday, too. Everything has this extra layer or expectation that makes just enjoying it difficult. Happy Birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 2:45 pmHappy Belated Birthday!!! I think that’s a pretty common phenomenon. Maybe if you’re really good and really lucky, the unicorn will come shit on you today since he missed you yesterday. You know with the glitter, or, um…something.
May 6th, 2010 at 3:14 pmI can clearly understand the dislike of the day - I too share the same birthday gloom. I know mine starts back from early childhood when my sister and I used to share my birthday (my birthday is 4/3 and hers is 4/8) so that she wouldn’t get upset, and then 5 days later she had another celebration… Ruined the whole “specialness” of the day.
My husband has helped me overcome this by having a birthday week, instead of just one day. One day I get to pick a movie, something that we do, a place we go eat - it has taken the stress off the day!
Happy Post Birthday! Enjoy the week!
May 6th, 2010 at 3:19 pmI know exactly what you mean. I feel that way about my birthday. Even though I’m grateful and happy for just having a wonderful ordinary day, the little girl in me wants oodles of attention and fireworks and since I don’t expect there’ll be any, I lower my expectations so as not to be disappointed and thus the melancholy. But in hindsight it was wonderful just to have an ordinary day!
May 6th, 2010 at 3:23 pmHappy Birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 3:35 pmhappy birthday to the best mom on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!
May 6th, 2010 at 4:03 pmHappy birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 4:56 pmHappy Birthday to a fellow Taurean. I totally get what you said about how a bday always disappoints on the day of, but after it isn’t so bad. Love the unicorns shitting rainbows bit - priceless!
May 6th, 2010 at 5:01 pmHappy birthday!
And now it’s over. I agree–that’s one of the best parts of the year.
May 6th, 2010 at 5:07 pmI wish your blog had a “like” button because really that’s all I want to say. Happy Birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 5:33 pmHaven’t posted before, but I have been reading you for awhile. I also have an xlarge family (5 boys, 1 girl) but for some ridiculous reason, 7 kids blow my mind! I guess it’s the “straw that broke the camel’s back syndrome”!
May 6th, 2010 at 6:38 pmAnyways…. I used to feel the same about my b-day too. Maybe it was because it’s on Dec. 26, a day of drama let-down. IDK. I do know that at 40, I decided that I’m now totally empowered. I gots know-how, guts and experience. What a difference an attitude adjustment made! I make it a point to “flex my age muscles” on my b-day — maybe tell some little whipper snapper how things should be done, or just state what I’d like to do (with conviction) on my day. Whatever, it works! I actually like my b-day now! Have a happy, happy birthday week!
Happy Birthday to you!!
May 6th, 2010 at 6:43 pmHappy Birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 7:21 pmHappy Birthday! Your a very special person to all of us who read your blog!
May 6th, 2010 at 7:53 pmYou share a birthday with my daughter. Happy belated birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 8:02 pmHappy birthday! You look positively gorgeous and happy.
May 6th, 2010 at 9:12 pmI guess a lot of people feel that way about birthdays. http://everydaypeoplecartoons.com/cartoon/438
See what i mean?
It’s a beautiful moment - lightening in a bottle! Happy Birthday!
May 6th, 2010 at 10:09 pmafter giving birth, i came to think of birthdaysas anniversaries of the day we were born…because giving birth really shined a light on how intensely beautiful those first few moments and hours are…and that everyone has those moments…and when we celebrate birthdays, we are celebrating that moment, that day…and while i don’t know you, i am stoked you were born 41 years ago, because your writing is witty, funny and i enjoy your blog, it inspires me to be better.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:15 pmI can quite understand exactly what it is that you can’t quite articulate, Chris.
Happy belated birthday to a fabulous mom and a great writer whose website I have enjoyed reading for over four years now!!
May 6th, 2010 at 11:47 pmi’ve always felt like that on my birthday… even when i was a child. and always felt the same as you the day after. weird.
yesterday (May 6) was my 10th anniversary of being a mother… but this time i still feel melancholic today… I guess I don’t like birthdays, period.
Love,
Marta from Lisbon, Portugal
May 7th, 2010 at 5:05 amHaving a 1/1 birthday, Ilearned early in childhood not to have any expectations for it. At this point, it weirds me out when people remember and wish me a happy birthday, because I never DO anything for it. Though I do sometimes wistfully wish I had one at a normal time of year, with no chance of “combination” gifts. In fact, right now, Cinqo de Mayo sounds like awesome birthday timing!
May 7th, 2010 at 6:11 amHappy Birthday. I must admitt that i was surprised to see that you were 41. Damm girl what is your secert.
I hope your day was GREAT
May 7th, 2010 at 9:51 amMy birthday is February 13th so it has always gotten lumped in with Valentine’s Day. When I was younger I didn’t mind but over the years it has gotten more annoying. Now that I am (gasp) 47 and have 4 kids, a husband, cat, dog, etc. my birthday is basically just another day. How sad is that? However, when I hit 50 look out! I am having a bash to celebrate the milestone.
Happy belated birthday and I agree that you should celebrate the entire week. It does seem to take the pressure off that one day.
May 7th, 2010 at 9:51 amHappy Birthday! May this year be the year of the unicorn shitting rainbows all over the place for you
May 7th, 2010 at 10:58 amHaving your birthday and Susan’s birthday so close together always makes me so thoughtful. I guess what I am saying here and what I don’t say enough is that I’m really thankful for you and her and I honestly cannot imagine my life without you two in it. As always, I am so happy you were born.
Oh my God, I’m going to cry now.
May 7th, 2010 at 2:27 pmHappy birthday Chris!!
xox
May 7th, 2010 at 6:44 pmA very happy birthday to you, and a good year to come.
May 7th, 2010 at 7:36 pmHappy birthday!
My son just turn 16 on May 5th!
May 7th, 2010 at 8:08 pmChris,
May 7th, 2010 at 9:06 pmI hope at the end of the day it was wonderful. You look terrific!
I’m writing a post about my birthday. I’m also a Cinco de Mayo-er. My birthday fell on the double whammy of school day/report card day and taking the car to the dealer for a recall. The excitement just never ended on Wednesday. Happy Birthday!
May 8th, 2010 at 2:01 amHappy belated birthday! They do say your age is only a number and that has proven right, cause no matter what your age you have always had nice stories to tell in this awesome blog. Years have passed and me and my brother still read your blog’s EVERY post and enjoy it. I hope you continue having a great life and a great blog for the years to come!
May 8th, 2010 at 7:32 amYes. I know exactly what you mean. Glad it was a good one, even if only in retrospect.
May 8th, 2010 at 10:45 amHappy Birthday! What a beautiful picture. If you figure out how to flag down the damn unicorn, let me know.
May 8th, 2010 at 3:47 pmHappy Birthday! Best wishes for you!
May 8th, 2010 at 10:51 pmBeautiful picture, Chris. You don’t look a day over 25
May 9th, 2010 at 1:25 amHey there, 41. You are fabulous and amazing.
Love,
May 9th, 2010 at 10:39 pm39
Happy birthday, Chris.
May 10th, 2010 at 4:12 pmJust this year I had a break-through! I love my birthday! What other day can all the people you love, who love you in return, get together to celebrate love? 52 years old and I finally get it.
May 10th, 2010 at 5:26 pmHell, you’ve got people you don’t even know wishing you happiness and love because you share parts of your life with us. Happy Birthday Chris. I hope you look forward to your next with excitement.
Rainbow-shitting unicorns!!!!! You are priceless and my reading life would be less for not having your words. Thanks for your blog!
May 10th, 2010 at 9:26 pmOh, and happy birthday and Mother’s Day!
May 10th, 2010 at 9:27 pmAmazing 41 year old bday post, you put into words - so often, things that I feel (too!) It has been a blessing to know you via your blog!! Happiest Birthday year!!
May 11th, 2010 at 12:30 amHi Cris,
Happy Birthday!!
I read your blog religiously, I always admire your sense of humour on how you handle motherhood. Am inspire actually.
I won’t say I am your only fan from Malaysia but I dare say I am your biggest =D.
And before I go, I want to add. Another thing I envy about you is your slim oh so slim body, even after being a mother so many times.
Oh by the way, love the dimples on your kids. Simply gorgeous.
Tata for now.
May 11th, 2010 at 5:54 amI’ve always had that melancholy, too, but I figure it stems from the fact that I was given up for adoption at birth, so the drama queen in me sees it as the anniversary of rejection! Sometimes I think our own birthdays are really for other people. Last year I told my husband I just wanted to sleep late, lie on the couch all day and eat junk food and then maybe pizza for dinner. No–we had to do cake and presents anyway. On Facebook, Cooking Light magazine asked women what they wanted most for Mother’s Day. Guess what the overwhelming response was? Sleep.
May 11th, 2010 at 9:08 pmOh Girl… Must I remind you that you’re the best? Happy birthday, and keep on keepin’ on.
It doesn’t matter that I’m half in the bag tonight, really… you are THE BEST!
May 11th, 2010 at 10:36 pmHappy birthday, Chris. I’m glad it was good in retrospect and I hope the melancholy isn’t the black dog.
May 12th, 2010 at 7:25 amWoah! My birthday is also May 5th!
Happ Belated Dear
May 13th, 2010 at 2:37 amYou ok? Where have you been??
May 13th, 2010 at 1:46 pm