The one where I send you elsewhere
July 21, 2010
But before I send you on the rabbit trail around the Internet, let me tell you about bra shopping. It sucks. I know my friends with big boobs are always complaining that they can’t find “cute” bras, something which makes me roll my eyes, because when you get to have all the cleavage who cares about the cute factor of your bra. But I am here to tell you that as someone with virtually no boobs, I am sick of shopping in the juniors department. I do not want a bra with Hello Kitty on it, or peace signs, or hearts. My boobs may be small, but I need a bra that will hoist the little I do have back up to where it belongs. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently the answer to that question is: Yes!
Also, I do not want my bra to add two cup sizes. What if someone bangs into me and my boobs dent? That would just be embarrassing.
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The first thing I want to tell you about is my new writing gig over at alphamom. I am so thrilled to be writing there and working for one of my most favorite people. There are so many people writing about parenting babies and as you all know, I have no more babies. (Fist pump in the air!) So every week I will be writing about parenting older kids, teenagers, and the stuff that goes along with it. My first post is up and it contains the 7 Universal Truths About Raising Teenagers. And they are all true. Especially the one about not being able to kill you teenagers because they are too big to bury alone.
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I am also working on a fun new thing at BlogHer, the Daily Laugh. Every day I will have a post up linking to a funny blog post. So I command you to be funny, people. And tell me if you read anything you think is too funny not to share. And every Monday there will be a photo captioning contest. Look at the photo, come up with a funny caption for the chance to win $100 every week! Yes, it is that easy. I hope you will all join me over there, afterall, who doesn’t love to laugh?
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I need a new avatar photo of myself. The one I use everywhere is so old that Miles was a small baby sitting next to me in the photo and I cropped him out.
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I made this delicious corn and feta cheese salad/side dish and posted the recipe over at Work It, Mom. Click here. Coming up with side dishes are the bane of my cooking existence, and if that is yours too run over there and make this. It is easy, delicious, and interesting enough to serve to guests.
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VS Biofit. I’m a 32A (tmi?) and it gives just enough to make you look reasonable but no funky denting. Yes, I’ve had that happen! My mom swears by Soma at Chicco, but when I went there they only had white or black in my size. Seriously? A LONG time ago I had a Walcoal (or something like that) that I got in a sale bin at Neiman Marcus and I loved it. Wore it till it died a sad death. I never shop at NM, so I don’t even know how I wound up there. Sorry, you didn’t even ask for advice…
July 21st, 2010 at 11:41 pmWell, take it from this over-endowed chick - you people do get all the cute bras. I’ve seen them, yearned after them, wept over their cute little push-up cups. I’d trade boobs with you any day.
July 22nd, 2010 at 12:06 amI’m too lazy to register and log in, but i have this brilliant caption(humor me), so i’m going to write it here, ok?
“Is it too late to return the ring?”
Now that i got that out of the way, i’ll hit the sheets and hyuck at my own sweet caption.
July 22nd, 2010 at 1:51 amBras totally suck. They are the bane of my existance. Just wait until you have to deal with your daughter. Blech.
BUT, Patagonia came out with a very decent and cute one this year that seems to be just the thing for bra haters. The only thing I don’t like is that it is an over-the-head one which means I can’t take it off when I am driving my car, which for some reason is when I need to getthebraoffnow!
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:39 amGo to Figleaves they have a triple great assortment of sizes for everyone.
July 22nd, 2010 at 8:19 amJust clicked over and read your “7 truths about teens” post …. enjoyed it very much. My oldest (of three) turned 13 a few months ago. She is hormonal. She is dramatic. She thinks her purpose in life is to argue with me. Heaven forbid, she is just like me. I’m not sure either of us will survive the next five to ten years.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:06 amHmm, I am also lacking in the chest area and there is a decent bra at Kohl’s you can get in several colors and has lace and no little flowers on it, it’s called “Barely There” (kinda like our boobs! ba-da-bum) by Hanes, I think. It has no annoying underwire that will simply slide up over the girls. Lots of sizes too, not just a teeny 32A, but also 38A and the strap adjust enough to help lift. It’s been about a year since I bought them, hopefully they still exist.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:14 amNow that you are in Austin, I recommend Petticoat Fair for bras. Nothing like getting felt up by a 70 year old woman who knows what she’s doing.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:56 amwhen i lived in the states i bought my (huge) bras from figleaves.com
turns out they also sell normal sized bras as well.
http://www.figleaves.com
**disclaimer**i do not work for this company**
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:19 amchris, i hope you’ll post your links when you have a new bit up on these other sites. i can’t possibly keep up with another blog.
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:39 amThere’s a food blog I read that is featuring recipes using feta. I’m sure they’d appreciate your input! There’s a contest involved, but since I’m not a huge fan of feta, I wasn’t paying attention.
http://www.ourbestbites.com/
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:48 amI buy my bras over at barenecessities.com and they have beautiful bras in all sizes from AAA to GGG . . . I happen to love bras made by Wacoal. They are quite pretty, and a bit spendy but the bra will last forever!
July 22nd, 2010 at 11:55 amI was literaly clapping as I read your article on teenagers. It was brilliant and oh so true! Bravo! Bravo!
July 22nd, 2010 at 1:21 pmBra shopping does seriously suck, just did it myself. Try Maidenform, they have a line of bras that have all the padding sitting under the boob. It pushes things back up. At 41 my girls a little help getting their shape back. So so happy with my new bras. BTW you’ll think they’re too much just looking at them on the hanger, but they’re well designed.
July 22nd, 2010 at 1:40 pmAs a fellow small boobed person, let me help you. You MUST order some bras from The Little Bra Company. I refuse to wear anything else. They don’t add 2 sizes, but they do provide cleavage. Which is lovely.
July 22nd, 2010 at 2:02 pmVery excited about your new projects. Reading your thoughts & stories is always much fun. ESPECIALLY excited for your writing about non-babies! Moms to teens (and pre-teens) are moms, too! I often want to say …
July 22nd, 2010 at 2:50 pmi feel your pain with the bras. i am an overweight person with small boobs, so i need a large band with a small cup size. very elusive let me tell ya!
July 22nd, 2010 at 2:52 pmOn the bra note: Have you tried the Nearly bras by Playtex? They are basically half sizes, so if you are not quite an A or not quite a B, they work very well.
Otherwise, I totally hear you on the bras. My issue is the mis-matched boobs. With smaller cups, one boob overflows; with bigger cups, the other cup rides up.
Love the seven universal truths, you hit it on the head!
July 22nd, 2010 at 3:00 pmAs for small bras, Playtex “Thank Goodness it Fits” brand is great - they have very nice bras (plain, lacy, beige, black, pink, whatever you want) in small sizes: nearly A, A, nearly B, B, etc. Macy’s carries them, and you can get them online, too. Hope that helps!
July 22nd, 2010 at 3:12 pmChris you are so funny, I started reading this blog with tears in my eyes from Heather at thespohrsaremultiplying and I ended up laughing! Thank you! About the boobs, I wish I could relate
July 22nd, 2010 at 4:10 pmMy 3 year old looked at me the other day when I got out of the shower and said “Look mommie, your boobies fell.” Really, she’s the only person who could get away with saying this to me. And yes, bra shopping is the worst. I was ranting at Target the other day because every freaking bra has padding in it. I told my 14 year old that girls her age are no longer aware of what a real boob looks like. And what about the men? How disappointed they must be when the truth is revealed.
July 22nd, 2010 at 4:15 pmon Bra’s one word NORDSTROMS the bra ladies are amazing…second only to the “bra lady” in NYC that is what it is called google it. I kid you not.
If she can’t fix the issue, no one can.
Trust me, I have the opposite issue…and fall between F and H…I could have hello kitty’s head actual size twice and it ain’t much fun!
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:06 pmChris–I, at the age of 47, (3 yrs ago) was finally fitted for a bra by professionals. I always wore a 34C…now I wear a 32DD. My complaint was that I could never find a bra that put my boobs pointing out, the way they are supposed to be. The secret, according to the pros, is to go with a smaller band size–the band is what anchors the rest of it. This is probably TMI–but for the first time in years, I look like a teenager (boob-wise). And, I never had any luck going into Victoria’s Secret. Now I order my bras on the internet and everything is fine.
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:44 pmhttp://www.soma.com/store
July 22nd, 2010 at 8:25 pmJust because we are small breasted doesn’t mean we don’t have the same issues in finding a bra that FITS! You totally described the issue of lifting them up and putting them back where they belong. The only time I ever had cleavage was when I was pregnant or nursing. Today I describe them as more of empty pillowcases.
Loved the corn and feta cheese salad!
July 23rd, 2010 at 9:07 amI am so with you on the bra shopping. Let us know if you find a good flat-chested-person place to shop.
July 23rd, 2010 at 9:08 amHey! I just saw a bra the other day that had lemon slices on it and the word “juicy”!
I usually order from OneHanesPlace.com besause I can sort by bra features.
July 23rd, 2010 at 11:35 amCorn and feta? Interesting…on my way down the bunny trail now!
July 23rd, 2010 at 1:19 pmChris, I have been reading your blog for a while and have never commented. I just had to this time, though, because as a fellow small-chested woman I feel your pain when it comes to bra shopping! I have recently discovered the bras at the Gap - the Favorite T-Shirt Bra to be exact. They are not too expensive, very comfortable and fit so well! Try them, you won’t be disappointed.
July 23rd, 2010 at 3:04 pmOn another note, I love your blog. I have 5 children - all boys - and I can relate to so much of what you say. Except the daughter part, of course. It never ceases to amaze me how many people stop us while we are out and ask “Are they all yours?” or my personal favorite, “Are you going to try for a girl?” as though boys aren’t enough and I MUST want a girl. Mind your own business, people. I am happy with my boys!!
I feel your pain on the bra shopping. I have big boobs and I won’t compare my plights to yours, but let’s just agree it sucks no matter what. In fact, I hate it so much (and the cost!) that the stupid bras I’m wearing now are at least 3 years old and haven’t fit me since I bought their cheap butts- I guess Target is not the place to buy something so important? Now they’re just barely hanging on by a thread and the elastic is shot- so attractive. Anyway, I get ya.
July 24th, 2010 at 11:46 amI can totally relate. Once I went to Victoria Secret to get fitted for a bra and the girl literally chuckled and said, we don’t carry bras that small. I almost decked her. Now I wear the no molded cup ones and gave up on having cleavage. I think I would need duck tape for that.
July 25th, 2010 at 8:45 pmNordstrom’s.
They’ll have the bra you’re looking for.
July 26th, 2010 at 2:41 pmSometimes I think big fake boobs that defy gravity are the way to go, but until then, I like the demi bras the best…they don’t dent.
Also, if you are looking for funny stuff to post to your new thing, check out this chick’s blog. I laugh til I cry every time I read it. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
July 31st, 2010 at 12:47 am