20 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say
July 27, 2010
1. “I love exercising. Honestly, I can’t exercise enough.”
2. “These jeans make my butt look WAY too small.”
3. “I don’t think my children have enough baseball or football practices.”
4. “I wish my little kids would talk more. And screech more. And have more tantrums. And detail further all the ways in which I have wronged them. Especially in the car.”
5. “My house is too clean. It is lacking that lived-in feel.”
6. “I have an even better idea…Let’s get two dogs… and a cat! Hell, let’s move to a farm.”
7. “I love spending all afternoon preparing delicious nutritous food for my children, even if they don’t appreciate it and scoff at the very idea of eating it!”
8. “I love getting my period. I wish it came more often.”
9. “I love doing messy crafts with my children indoors. It doesn’t bother me AT ALL when they splash paint, glue or glitter all over the house. They are just expressing themselves.”
10. “I wish I could find a pair of denim overalls with Winnie the Pooh embroidered on the front pocket for myself.”
11. “All the shorts that they are selling now in the stores are WAY too long and matronly.”
12. “I am completely caught up on laundry.”
13. “The only thing I love more than spending time in the car with my children is grocery shopping with them. I think I might love that more.”
14. “I have too many shoes.”
15. “I have a great idea… Let’s go to Toys R Us. I don’t think you kids have enough toys!”
16. “Would you kids just run around and shout more, for crying out loud! I am so sick and tired of you guys just sitting there, quietly playing games and singing hymns together.”
17. “My boobs are just TOO BIG!”
18. “Please buy as many songs as you want on iTunes. I don’t mind getting a surprise $200 charge! At all. After all, you do so much around the house to earn that kind of money!”
19. “I wish it were hotter in Texas.”
20. “I love exercising! Honestly, I can not exercise enough!”
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My list is so similar to yours
July 27th, 2010 at 5:44 pmI am so stealing this idea. But I will definitely give you credit. This is genius.
July 27th, 2010 at 6:15 pmOther than # 17, I’m with you all the way … sigh … and I don’t even have kids!
July 27th, 2010 at 7:23 pmThis is my favorite. It made me laugh OUT LOUD: “I wish I could find a pair of denim overalls with Winnie the Pooh embroidered on the front pocket for myself.”
July 27th, 2010 at 10:24 pmReminds me of this one I did last year … http://katandgray.blogspot.com/2009/03/eleven-things-you-will-never-hear-me.html . Love your list!
July 27th, 2010 at 10:43 pmOh no - I love emptying the dishwasher, please - let me do it again tonite!!
I was hoping to stop at the gas station before I went anywhere else - really, it’s ok that you forgot to fill the car!
July 27th, 2010 at 10:47 pmI love when my period comes, because it means I’m not pregnant. I’ll always throw up a hell yeah to not being pregnant.
July 28th, 2010 at 3:08 amI have not laughed that hard in a really long time.
July 28th, 2010 at 8:57 amI’m not going to cook with butter/bacon/cheese anymore because it has too many calories.
July 28th, 2010 at 10:58 am