The Camper Returns
July 30, 2010
If you follow me on twitter (@chrisjordan) you know that my 11 yr old son came home from camp. His suitcase packed exactly the way I packed it four days before. And no, he didn’t wear the DAMN WATER SHOES!
It would appear that he had a great time.
What’s up with your hair? Did you put something in it?
Here I get a big long story about the two boys at camp with the longest hair were picked to be in some sort of “game” where they had their hair styled using cake frosting. His hair was styled like a unicorn. This was apparently HI-LAR-IOUS. He did not use shampoo to wash his hair after this. Or any other day after this.
Did you brush your teeth? Please god tell me you brushed your teeth?
You didn’t pack me a toothbrush.
I almost drove my car off the road upon hearing this come out of his mouth and I reminded him of the travel sized tolietries I bought for him and the bag I put them all in.
Ooooooh, I didn’t even open that little bag.
Niiiiice.
Oh my, put your sneakers back on. I am dry heaving.
What?
He did use deodorant. Thank god for small miracles.
I am trying to look on the bright side which is that at least I do not have a suitcase full of dirty clothes to wash! I can use that time to do other things, like dip his sneakers in Febreeze. Scrub him down with bleach and a wire brush. Oh don’t worry, I am only going to scrub the top layer of skin off. It should grow back.
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I pick my 10 year old up from his first sleepover camp today. He’s been gone 5 nights and has called home 3 of those nights. He begged us to come get him last night. I can only imagine what he smells like as I’m sure he didn’t use toothpaste either (and probably not even the deodorant). I’m sure we’ll be getting out the bleach here too.
July 30th, 2010 at 8:58 amOh my - my 10 year old comes home today from his first away camp. Is this what I’m going to face? (he’s probably wearing the same clothes I sent him in on Monday!)
July 30th, 2010 at 9:16 amIs this what we have to look forward to?
July 30th, 2010 at 9:26 amMy 10-yr old went to sleep over camp and had much the same experience… came home with a dry tooth brush and still wearing the same socks he had on when he left. He claimed it was the best week of his life!
July 30th, 2010 at 9:29 amThat is hilarious!!! I also have an 11 yr old boy who would not brush his teeth if it weren’t for me reminding him EVERY day! We were walking out the door for football practice yesterday & as an after thought I asked him, “Did you brush your teeth today?” His response, “No.” (with a look on his face like…what is this you speak of, strange woman?) I have come to realize what an important part mothers play in the lives of boys!!!
July 30th, 2010 at 9:30 amI’m laughing too hard! My 11 yo went to camp last year for the 1st time and when asked if he showered every day like we told him too said “No, but we went swimming every day”. On the plus side he did change clothes everyday. My sister tells the story about my nephew that she also found his toothbrush undisturbed where she packed it and she threw away all his socks…they were just that bad! Glad he had fun though!
July 30th, 2010 at 9:43 amMy daughter did that her first year at camp, at about that age. They used shaving cream in their hair. I was so embarrassed when I picked her up and her hair was crusty and crunchy. Thankfully, she’s blossomed into a lovely young lady with great personal hygiene habits.
July 30th, 2010 at 9:44 amSounds exactly like my 15 year old, except he will on occasion brush his teeth with his finger lol…not exactly sure how well that works…
July 30th, 2010 at 9:48 amI suppose a face that happy is worth a little dirt and grime. Or perhaps e coli.
July 30th, 2010 at 10:11 amHah! This made me laugh. My boys are 19 and 22 now, and I hate to tell you, it doesn’t get any better. Just so you know. But laughing is good, right?
July 30th, 2010 at 10:38 amI am so not looking forward to that stage.
July 30th, 2010 at 11:09 amLOL Been there done that. My son came home from camp the first year and the toothpaste, soap, and shampoo were in exactly the same shape I left them. ewwww. 2 years later it is still a struggle to get that kid to shower. The good news is that at least he was being gross away from you.
July 30th, 2010 at 12:02 pmMy kids got back last week, the whole suitcase stunk everthing had to be washed. As for showers didn’t happen and the one who complained about the house stinking was actually causing it!
July 30th, 2010 at 12:31 pmBeyond funny. I wonder when they start to like showers and stuff? When they start liking girls? (I have two tiny boys…I am not-so-eagerly anticipating the Tween years…..
When I was a camp counselor, the men told me that they had to FORCE middle school boys to shower. At least twice a week. Heh.
July 30th, 2010 at 1:27 pmThat made me LOL
July 30th, 2010 at 1:37 pmOh my gosh. I cannot believe that he didn’t even change his clothes! You gotta laugh…after you get over the horror of it
Don’t you know that my girls would pack 10 outfits for a 7 day camp and wear them all. They might not change their underwear though, but they’re only 5.
July 30th, 2010 at 1:41 pmHilarious! I went to a week long summer camp every summer from 4th grade through 12th grade. The 4th and 5th grade boys never showered, and half way through the week the cabin counselors would make a big production of marching them all, single-file, to the bath house to clean up. Primarily because they (the counselors) couldn’t stand being in a room with 12, 10-year old boys who hadn’t bathed.
July 30th, 2010 at 1:41 pmHe didn’t brush his teeth? I would have forced him to brush his teeth right there on the side of the road. I bet he was not the only one to come home with a clean suitcase. Upside, you can return all that stuff since they were never used, right?!
July 30th, 2010 at 2:07 pmFirst time I had my oldest pack his own suitcase for a vacation, (he was 14, and stupid me, I thought he understood how to dress) I threw caution to the wind and didn’t check the suitcase before we left, he packed 1 pair of underwear, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of shorts, something like 30 tee-shirts, 1 sneaker ( he swears he put in 2) toothpaste, no toothbrush, numerous deodorants, and a roll of toilet paper. And then once at the destination, had the audacity to claim he didn’t have room for a sweatshirt or swim trunks.
July 30th, 2010 at 2:13 pmThis for a 3 week vacation. Thank God for WalMart, that store is everywhere. It was the last time he got to pack his clothes for anything without supervision. He is now 21 and asks me for advice on packing. My payback is I tell him: make sure to pack 1 pair of underwear, 1 pair of jeans, 1 shoe……and above all don’t forget the roll of toilet paper……..
You may rest assured that he is not the only boy to come home from camp in that state. My boys only changed if it rained and their clothes got wet. Of course they stuffed the wet clothes in the bag on top of the clean clothes and it all smelled awful when they got home! ROFL at the icing. I hope someone sends you pictures of that.
July 30th, 2010 at 2:33 pmI do not look forward to the pre-teen years. You did a good job.
July 30th, 2010 at 2:46 pmI pick mine up tomorrow. After a similar experience last year, I was tempted not to bother packing more than one set of clothes, a swimsuit and deodorant. My husband was the chaperone this year, though, and swore he’d make sure everyone took a real shower at least once and brushed teeth. I’m eager to see if he was successful.
July 30th, 2010 at 3:07 pmhand over mouth - stifling laughter, rolling eyes and KNOWING this child as my own middle one. Sounds like he had the time of his life!
July 30th, 2010 at 3:36 pmI remember camp when I was 9 - we camped (in tents) on the side of a super-muddy creek, loads of creek-based activities, with only 1 shower for all the kids (this was a few years ago now - almost 30! Not sure it would be allowed now!). When my sister and I got off the train from camp my mum said the stench reached the station before the train did… Nice.
Glad to hear he had an awesome time
July 30th, 2010 at 3:53 pmI think my son was 9 when he first went away to camp for a week. When we went to pick him up, he said “you didn’t pack me enough clothes.” He had only opened the duffle bag up enough to grab WHAT HE COULD SEE. He also lost two towels and never went to the bathroom…
On the plus side, he also had a great time and went back year after year.
July 30th, 2010 at 3:54 pmI am guessing it is so we will stop kissing them non-stop at some point in their life, or does that still not keep you at bay?
July 30th, 2010 at 4:12 pmthe first time my stepson came home from three weeks of overnight camp we had to shave his head in order to get the baseball cap off of him… True story!
July 30th, 2010 at 5:25 pmMy boys used to go to sleep-away baseball camp, where they would practice baseball drills and training for about 7 hours each day. In the desert. My boys didn’t use soap either, because they went to the water park each evening, and, as everyone knows, a dip in chlorinated water is JUST AS GOOD, if not better than, actual bathing. Yeah, most of their baseball gear would come home clean, too, but the sliding shorts and socks could practically walk by themselves. *shudder* So glad your boy had fun!
July 30th, 2010 at 5:37 pmAnd someday he will be packing his own bag for camp. Hopefully he will remember underwear, which is what my daughter forgot when she packed her bag.
July 30th, 2010 at 6:11 pmMy husband and I both laughed at this. A friend’s mom just asked what she should pack for her kid at camp. A bathing suit is all he needs to bring. That and the camp issued t-shirts is all my kid
July 30th, 2010 at 7:09 pmever wore.
Yup - laughed so loud I had to read your post out loud to my husband.
My advice: throw away the shoes and socks. Replacements will be a good investment.
July 30th, 2010 at 7:09 pmI remember how EVERYONE smelled so bad at camp when I went as a kid. It definitely wasn’t just the boys and this is coming from a girl who hates being dirty and will not eat if she can’t wash her hands. The showers were so bad/dirty/smelly/cold that I think I only showered twice during the week.
When I was a camp counselor as a teen, I realized the trick to tolerating the smell: swimming. And bonus if it was swimming in a pool versus a lake because then they came out mud-free and smelling chemical-y.
Fantastic memories, though!
July 30th, 2010 at 7:28 pmFor years my son came home from camp without half the items sent with him and clothing that was not his and further more would not even fit him. ie jeans that were four sizes too small. I asked aren’t the middle school boys seperate from the younger boys? Yes. Well how do you come home with little boy clothes and no jeans your size? Oh, we dump all our stuff out to share the snacks. Do you share your underwear too? NO! When you don’t change it, you don’t share it either! As long as you come home with a full bag you don’t worry about the details like your own towels, jeans, shirts, socks………
July 30th, 2010 at 10:32 pmLOLOL!! Yup…sent my son to camp several years ago for 7 days and he came home with 7 pairs of perfectly clean underwear. I secretly hoped they had laundry service there. Thing is he also stuffed all the dirty towels and clothes in the same bag so I still had to do laundry. We were so tired after the long drive home we left his bag in the trunk…for 3 days. I have never before or ever since smelled an odor like that in my life. My sons comment? AWESOME!
July 31st, 2010 at 5:27 amSo we should be glad our computer screens are not Scratch n’ Sniff?
July 31st, 2010 at 7:12 amI am laughing so hard right now. I used to work at a summer camp and the boys were just gross. We always made Wednesdays mandatory shower days to try and ease the funk. One year, we had a mother thank us for washing her son’s clothes and packing his bag exactly how she had it. I can’t remember if anyone had the heart to tell her otherwise!
July 31st, 2010 at 7:35 amLOVE the unicorn hair story. My 11-year old son’s toiletries were in his travel bag, untouched, after camp. Shampoo, soap, in unopened, pristine condition. Yucky, but what can ya do?
July 31st, 2010 at 10:10 amI think I just threw up a little in mouth when the idea of how bad it must be to work at at a tween camp full of stinky kids passed thru my mind. Blech.
July 31st, 2010 at 1:17 pm12 year old just returned from Boy Scout camp,where he was WITH his dad. The kid showered once in 6 days.(Supposedly my husband showered more than that.) Yes, they swam(in a lake)every day. One day they even did laundry! My son, however, has informed me that he didn’t poop the whole time. Yee-ikes! I guess I have to go look at his dirty laundry pile now, huh?
July 31st, 2010 at 5:42 pmHaha, I went to girl scout camp when I was 8 or 9 and apparently wore the same outfit all week. When my mom picked me up the counselors told her they tried to get me to wear something else but I guess I wasn’t interested. I bet I know which outfit it was too and it involves spandex shorts (hey, it was the 80s).
August 2nd, 2010 at 1:50 pmMy 10 year old son went to camp for a week last month. He didn’t brush his teeth either! For a week! It made the measly three dirty outfits seem good. My husband assured me it is a boy thing…and my son said one night the boys were sitting in their cabin when one said “this is when we’d usually have to brush our teeth”. The others apparently smiled & said “yeah”. I made him brush & floss about 3 times a day for the next week.
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:48 pmToday I am unpacking the trunk my 11 yr old son took to camp six days ago. I am unpacking it outside because their campsite was rumored to have been attacked by bedbugs or fleas while they were there. Nearly all of his clothes were unworn, however, they were filthy as he put his wet longsleeved shirt and pants from the swim badge test on top of them. I asked how many times he brushed his teeth? Twice, was the reply. Why? Because his dop kit was too hard to access from his trunk. But his snacks packed in the same trunk apparently were always at the ready.. boys…..
August 7th, 2010 at 1:03 pm