Homework

August 30, 2010

Only the second week in and my daughter is home from school sick. Luckliy she is better today, but last night she had a fever and I don’t want the 24 hour illness quarantine police to come after me.

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My daughter, being the diligent worker, unlike her brothers, sat down to do her homework for the night before lunch.

One of her spelling words is chrysanthemum. It is a good thing I am not in second grade.

She loves this sort of copy work. My boys? This stuff kills them. There would be so much crying and gnashing of teeth, some of it even from them, before it would be completed.

A Little Help

August 29, 2010

Miles Does School: Day 3 and 4

August 28, 2010

The morning of day 3 was decidedly less chipper than the previous 2 mornings.

The morning of day 4 was much like day 3, though it had the additional bonus of crying and demanding to be carried downstairs to breakfast. Because, in his words, “My legs don’t work this early in the morning!”

After school we had to run out to the store to get a present for a birthday party my daughter was attending that night. Miles was crabby and cranky and cried the whole way from the house into the car that he WAS NOT TIRED. Before we even pulled out of the driveway he was sound asleep. So asleep that I had to carry his 45lbs of dead weight around the store with me, because my not-tired child wouldn’t wake up. I carried him in and out of the car twice, did a birthday party drop-off, carried him inside the house and put him on the couch. He woke up three hours later asking when we were going to leave for the store.

But he was NOT TIRED, dammit. Don’t you dare even suggest that!

When provided with the above photo as evidence of his sleeping in the car, Miles insisted that was not a photo of him. Because he did not go in the car today wearing those clothes.

Miles Does School: Day Two

August 26, 2010

Act I, Scene i:

Not quite as chipper as day one. But just as cute.

Act II, Scene i:

So, Miles, what did you do today at school?

Well, at least that is a refreshing change of pace from the “nothing” I usually hear.

Act III Scene i:

Wow, why is he acting like that?!

Mom, did you ever think that maybe he is the asshole spreading the bad behavior around?*****

Over at alphamom, I have a post up Five Mistakes Every Kid Should Be Allowed to Make. C’mon over and tell me if you agree.

And, the Laughing Cow campaign is still going on, so join me at the the Daily Laugh. Every day I will have a post up linking to a funny blog post from one of the Laughing Cow bloggers. Go leave a comment on their blogs for a chanve to win $150. Also, every Monday there will be a photo captioning contest. Look at the photo, come up with a funny caption for the chance to win $100 every week! Yes, it is that easy.

And Just Like That

August 25, 2010

The first day of school came to an end.

Miles came home excited and happy! School was fun. He made friends, but he doesn’t know what their names are. He sang songs! He had “west” time on his towel!

I was cleaning out his lunchbox and noticed his cookies were still inside.

Why didn’t you eat your cookies?

I couldn’t open the package.

And this is the difference between raising your first born and seventh born child.

Had this happened to my first born I would have broken down and cried. My poor BAYBEE was deprived of his generic brand creme filled cookies. Why isn’t there someone to wait on my poor precious BAYBEE and attend to his every whim?

The seventh born child? I kind of laughed. The kid makes his own lunches. Who would have thought some cellophane wrapping would have stopped him.

The seventh born child also rides the bus on his very first day of school, something others have alluded to as being horrible and gasp worthy. Apparently I should be walking him to his classroom and crying at the door until he cries, so I can be certain that he is sad and misses me.

I think he has recovered from the trauma just fine.

Also, he is not tired, God, why are you asking him that? He is just flinging himself down on the ground and crying because he LIKES TO.

Miles Goes to School

August 24, 2010

Waking up at o’dark thirty to a nutritous breakfast of vitamin fortified sugar coated cereal. I like to think the organic soymilk cancels out the unhealthy cereal.

Annual photo at the front door.

Walking to the bus stop. It is SO! EXCITING!

Waiting at the bus stop, listening to his sister discuss all her new Converse sneakers.

Here comes the bus! Time to pick up the backpack that almost topples him backward with its size.

And my side kick is off on a new adventure without me.

Bewildered and Confused

August 23, 2010

Listening to their brother tell a story.

I often have this same expression on my face when my teenagers are talking.

Happy Girl

August 22, 2010

I’d give all wealth that years have piled,
The slow result of Life’s decay,
To be once more a little child
For one bright summer-day.

~Lewis Carroll

When is the last time that you were so happy you spontaneously turned cartwheels across a field in lieu of walking? I’m not sure I recall.

I plan on rectifying this in the near future. I am planning on cartwheeling everywhere. Metaphorically. I don’t think my weak arms could hold up my body weight and my wrists would probably break. But on the inside it is going to be all cartwheels, all the time.

Time Doesn’t March So Much As It Sprints

August 20, 2010

This year my 11 yr old will be off to the middle school and Miles is headed to kindergarten.

Last year on the first day of school:

Last night was the long anticipated day where the teachers from the elementary school come by the house to meet the kids in their class.

The entire neighborhood buzzes with excitement. The kids scan each car that drives by like they are on the look-out for celebrities.

Miles kindergarten teacher was the first to arrive. He was thrilled because it was the same teacher that one of his best friends had last year. He showed how thrilled he was by gluing himself to my thigh and acting mute.

My daughter’s teacher arrived next. When she saw her pull up in the car in front of the house she said, “Oh, I like her!” But she too showed this by acting mute. When I prompted her to say something to her teacher she thought for a minute and said, “Thank-you.”

As her teacher walked away, back to her car, my daughter looked at me and asked, “Why did I say thank you? That was weird.”

Her older, always supportive brother, turned to her and said, “Because you are an idiot, that’s why.”

Ahhhh, sibling love. There is nothing quite like it.

The adorable navy blue satin shoes with the bow that she is wearing in the photo? They are wholly unacceptable and after five minute were discarded in favor of flip flops. She only wants to wear Converse sneakers and has given me a list of the colors she needs.

Attempted Picky Eater

August 18, 2010

The other night Miles shut himself in the pantry and told me he was not coming out until I made a different dinner.

In turn I told him to get comfortable.

He remained in the pantry until I served dinner, at which time he “memembered” that he does like spaghetti and meatballs.

*****
Over at Alphamom, Teens, Sex, and Porn, Oh my. What do you do when pole dancing and porn stars are mainstream? And your teenagers have constant unsupervised access to the Internet?

*****

Don’t forget to join me over at the Daily Laugh. Every day I will have a post up linking to something funny. Every Monday there will be a photo captioning contest. Look at the photo, come up with a funny caption for the chance to win $100 every week! Yes, it is that easy. I hope you will all join me over there, afterall, who doesn’t love to laugh?