Something Special

October 14, 2010

Last week Miles had his turn bringing home the “something special” bag. You put your special item that you want to share with the class into the bag and then draw a picture of your item in the special book and write why it is special to you.

After you say and write that word a number of times it seems completely wrong and you will spellcheck it.

My favorite part was looking through the book at what the other kids had picked. And noticing how the girls in the class are much more attentive to details in their drawings.

I was impressed with Miles’ drawing of his stuffed dog, because drawing is not really his thing. He is content to put a few scibbles on the page and call it good. The poor child has had to do numerous “family tree” assignments, where he not only cursed his misfortune at having a large family, he actually began to disown some of us so that he wouldn’t have to draw so many people.

I especially love the thumbs he drew. Why his stuffed dog is drawn with opposable thumbs yet his family is completely lacking in bodies and have legs coming right out of our heads is a mystery I don’t think will ever be solved. But damn if it isn’t… special.

Kindergarten, the age when drawing a homework assignment has no controversy.

Monday, monday…

October 11, 2010

I have been reading through all of the comments and am going to address some of the things in a new post. I kind of feel like the post was taken the wrong way by some people, which I think happens when you feel impassioned about a topic, or attacked (even though that was in no way my intention), or just don’t like me personally (shocking! I know!)

Today I get to go to parent-teacher conferences at the elementary school and sit in those teeny tiny
chairs and discuss how perfect my preshus baybees are. What?

I had meant to send you over to my AlphaMom post last week and never got around to it because I was too busy reading all the fascinating comments. And also watching football. And doing crafty school projects. Oh, I kid. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.

How to Punish Your Tween, Survivor Style. I am still laughing almost a week later.

Have you been coming over to the Daily Laugh at BlogHer? Remember you just have to leave a funny comment and you might be the one chosen to win $100. Yes, that easy, every week someone is picked.

Also there are 12 bloggers who are posting their hilarious stories, there is a link to all of them on the sidebar of BlogHer page. Each of them is picking a $150 winner from their comments every month. Their posts are funny enough that you would want to read them even if you had no desire to win $150.
There are hardly any comments on some of their posts, which is a shame really, but it is good for you because it increases your chance of winning!

Rants in My Pants, Part One of What Will Probably Be Many

October 8, 2010

I am thinking of adding a category to my blog called “Stupid Shit My Kids Are Required to Do in School”
Because my God you would not believe some of the assignments my kids get.

And I am talking about my older kids here. The ones in high school and even middle school.* My kids who are taking AP classes. How about a vocabulary homework assignment, a component of which is to DRAW a visual representation of the words. Should I write that again? DRAW. How do you even do that? And the bigger question for me is WHY? Was it not enough that you required them to look the word up, write the definition, the part of speech, write a sentence containing a synonym for the word, write a sentence containing an antonym for the word, write a sentence containing the word itself. But then you have to draw a picture of the words? Are you kidding me?

I took a photo of one assignment and emailed it to Heather. I figured it wasn’t all THAT long ago that she was in highschool. Perhaps she could shed some light on this. Yeah, no.

And that is only one example from one class, from one child. And don’t even get me started on the fact that there is no real reading going on in these high school English classes.

I am not really sure what this approach to teaching is all about. But I do know that my kids don’t learn this way. I would hazard a guess that *most* kids don’t learn this way.

Making endangered animal trading cards? in EIGHTH GRADE? Writing and performing a song explaining a scientific concept? Making a tri-fold brochure (in color) to tell people why they should come and settle in Jamestown? Oh how these middle school teachers love the brochure. It is the new diorama. Make an advertisement selling one of the elements on the periodic chart… what? I could go on and on. These are just examples from this past week at middle school.

And don’t even get me started on the absurdities. In algebra class the teacher had the students cut out little squares from construction paper and glue them onto their math worksheets to use as a visual aid in solving the equations. My son completely understands how to solve the equations so he didn’t think he needed to do the cutting out of the little construction paper squares. He didn’t want to cut out the little squares. In his own words, “I already know how to cut and paste, thankyouverymuch.”

H e got every single problem correct.
He got an F on the in class worksheet.

He asked the teacher about it. Cutting and pasting was required.

It is to help you, the teacher had said.
But I already understand it.
But it’s to help you.
But I don’t need the help.
Well, it was part of the assignment.
Well it is totally fucking stupid because the goal of the assignment is to understand the algebraic concept, which I do. The cutting out of the squares is supposed to be an aid. I got them all right!

Okay, he didn’t say that. He actually said, Yes, ma’am.

It is frustrating. The senseless busy work. No wonder each kid needed to 20 glue sticks at the beginning of the year. It’s constant crafting.**

Now if you’ll excuse me, one of my high schoolers wants my help. Apparently solving equations wasn’t enough. He now has to cut the problems out of the worksheet and reassemble them.

It’s a puzzle! Can’t wait to see what it is!

This is so…fun.

*Truthfully I have nothing but positive things to say about the elementary school, which was the school I was most worried about when I decided to send the kids. Funny how that happens.

**Ironically (and thankfully), there is NONE of this crafting business going on in the elementary school where you would think it would be more age appropriate. Well, except for Miles. But he is in kindergarten. And you expect them to come home with pasta and beans glued onto paper in a visual representation of their body. That is the shit you hang up on the refrigerator (You know, if you were one of those people who enjoys having assorted stuff hanging off your refrigerator. In other words, not me.) Cutting and pasting assignments done by teenagers? I think that can only be hung up on the refrigerator ironically.

***I should also probably add that my kids go to great schools. On paper all of these schools look fabulous. People want their kids in this school district. So maybe that makes all of this even more baffling.

The Weekend

October 2, 2010

You know what that means? Football. And more football.

Last night was Homecoming at the highschool. I stood in the bathroom with my kids and their friends while they put on sports “makeup.” I had to say outloud, “Wow, when I gave birth to so many boys, I never imagined the day would come when I would be standing in the bathroom while they put on makeup.”

*****
My daughter keeps talking about the science experiments they did in school. She has been calling them her “science experience.” I don’t want to correct her because it is just too cute. And not wholly inaccurate.

*****

Here is where I send you to read other places: Over at Alphamom, The Myth of Balance and Perfection. I wrote it thinking of my own circumstance of being a mother who works from home, trying to do it all perfectly and often feeling like I am failing all around. But it was pointed out to me that it is equal opportunity guilt that working and non-working mothers feel. So anyway, go on and read and leave me a comment letting me know if any of you have achieved this elusive balance.

*****
Have you been coming over to the Daily Laugh at BlogHer? Remember you just have to leave a funny comment and you might be the one chosen to win $100. Yes, that easy, every week someone is picked.

Also there are 12 bloggers who are posting their hilarious stories, there is a link to all of them on the sidebar of BlogHer page. Each of them is picking a $150 winner from their comments every month. Their posts are funny enough that you would want to read them even if you had no desire to win $150.
There are hardly any comments on some of their posts, which is a shame really, but it is good for you because it increases your chance of winning!