Space…the Final Frontier
March 24, 2011
We joke that my blonde haired son is the sterotypical blonde. That he is the butt of every blonde joke that has ever been told. We are joking. But you know what they say about truth in jokes.
He is just so forgetful. He is a space cadet. (Does anyone even use that term anymore? Space cadet? Have I just aged myself terribly? Hello, Chris, 1984 called and wants its slang back.) He is just happy and smiling all the time. I am not sure how such a happy child could have sprung from my loins, but here he is.
All of this to say that the other night at 9:30pm when I got a text from our friend and neighbor that there were a pair of black Nikes on their front lawn it was not unusual. Nor was it out of character for this child to leave his belongings all over the neighborhood.
So I called to this child who was brushing his teeth and getting ready to go bed before midnight for the first time in over week.
Hey, you left your sneakers at our friend’s house. You need to go get them now.
I did?
Yeeesssss. Apparently you did.
Wow, that’s weird. I could have sworn I came home with shoes on my feet today.
Well, I guess not…
Yeah. Weird…
He runs down to his friend’s house and a few minutes later he is back home.
They weren’t even my shoes!
He tosses his sister’s black Nikes on the floor.
I don’t know why you just assumed they’d be my shoes. Sheesh.
I watch as he kicks off his sneakers.
Did you put on those sneakers to go to your friend’s house?
Uh, yeah. Why?
You didn’t think it was odd that you were putting on YOUR BLACK NIKES to supposedly go get YOUR BLACK NIKES you left at your friend’s house?
Huh. I didn’t really think about it!
He laughs and laughs.
We all laugh.
It’s okay, honey, it takes a lot of brain power to grow that pretty blonde hair.
You would know, Mom.
Another kid, who is being written out of the will as I type this, says: No, it takes a lot of money to get Mom’s blonde hair.
They high five each other and run out of the room before I can chase them down and beat them.
No, not really.
Everyone over ten is bigger than me in this house.
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So funny.
March 24th, 2011 at 10:05 amLol…that was cute. They’re cute! Space Cadet yep still used once in a while. I loved the 80’s.
March 24th, 2011 at 10:15 amFun post!
March 24th, 2011 at 10:43 amI’ve heard the term space cadet, and thought it was a new term. Then remembered it was my 35-yr-old friend who’d told me.
March 24th, 2011 at 10:48 amNow that is the Chris I know and love! Keep those posts coming. They make me belly laugh and I need that with my 5 kids too!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 24th, 2011 at 10:58 amYour kids sound awesome!
March 24th, 2011 at 11:00 amVery funny. My two blonds aren’t old enough yet to know if they will be space cadets or not.
March 24th, 2011 at 11:01 amA great story to tell when they are older! Maybe at blondie’s wedding rehearsal dinner, in case his bride doesn’t know what she’s really getting into!
March 24th, 2011 at 11:11 amThe fact that they can kid around with you like that…I just love it
March 24th, 2011 at 11:14 amSounds pretty typical, but you are handling things well. Sometimes we just gotta laugh about stuff like this!
March 24th, 2011 at 12:57 pmLOL! You’ve got kids with a great sense of humor.
March 24th, 2011 at 1:06 pmI love when they get to this stage, when you can laugh and joke with them about grown-up things and they get it.
March 24th, 2011 at 1:18 pmHa!
I also have a blonde. Ridiculous how the stereotype matches reality sometimes. Especially ridiculous considering that she’s usually such a smart & savvy kid.
March 24th, 2011 at 1:30 pmHahahahahahahahaha!
Brilliant post, witty as hell
March 24th, 2011 at 2:04 pmLove it!
March 24th, 2011 at 2:33 pmDo the smallest kids REALLY leave the house at 6.55am?!!? Particularly when the bigger kids aren’t leaving until 8.30am?!
Sheeeesh. Don’t shout me down here, I am not in the US and am not familiar with the ins and outs of the school set up there, so have no knowledge of school hours but that seems *early*.
But I don’t need to tell you that.
Chris says: The schools have staggered opening. And while it seems strange and early it actually works out well. The little kids are home by 3 and have plenty of time for homework and playing outside. And studies have shown that teenagers do better when they get to sleep in later in the morning.
March 24th, 2011 at 2:44 pmAll school districts are different. It isn’t a U.S. wide thing.
Hilarious!
Love it! And I also loved your ‘Day in the Life’ series of posts - great idea.
March 24th, 2011 at 2:48 pmChris, I have lurked your blog for years and I just love your style! I have a blonde myself who is the epitome of the blonde joke. I recently came home from a trip to find she had dyed her hair MAGENTA!! So round here those episodes are now referred to as her Magenta is showing, did I mention she is 12?? Thanks for always reminding me to smile thru the antics!!
March 24th, 2011 at 3:55 pmA friend of mine used her childhood nickname to start a thriving business. So, I think “Space Cadet” is totally coming back! (http://spacecadetcreations.com/)
You’re on trend! (I’m sure you’re thrilled)
Terrible when they are bigger than you AND no longer worship the ground you walk on, though. I keep wanting to make idle threats of soap in the mouth to my teenager when he accidentally swears in front of me, then I remember he’s a foot taller than me already and has muscles the size of my batwings.
March 24th, 2011 at 4:44 pmSo glad you’re back. I missed your stories.
March 24th, 2011 at 4:47 pm@Alex: We have the reverse schedule, the middle and high schoolers get picked up at 7am and the elementary kids get picked up at 8:20. Usually this kind of schedule is done so that a smaller number of buses can pick up all the children. Who is earlier varies by district…I live farther north so I guess ours is so the little kids don’t end up waiting in the frozen dark.
March 24th, 2011 at 4:52 pmi am a teacher and use “space cadet” all the time when talking about kids. not to their faces. obviously?
March 24th, 2011 at 4:58 pmSO funny! I have one of those kids too. But I’m more at the frustration point than the seeing-the-humor-in-it point. You’re doing a good job with those kids, mama!
March 24th, 2011 at 5:20 pmlove that they give you grief
March 24th, 2011 at 5:41 pmOh, this is all so very funny. Thank you!
March 24th, 2011 at 6:22 pmThat’s hilarious!!
Thank you for answering Alex about the school thing…I was wondering about that, too. Now that I think about it, it seems ideal for large families, too. You don’t have everyone running around at the same time trying to all get out the door together.
Thanks for the belly laugh!
March 24th, 2011 at 6:33 pmGreat post, Chris. I love the relationship you have with your kids. It’s fun that they can tease you too and you don’t get “too” upset!
March 24th, 2011 at 7:45 pmThis is awesome! Thanks for the laugh.
I am happy I can comment because I just had to say that I loved your day in the life. And I’m curious if I read it correctly that your elementary kids go to school earlier than the older kids? A friend and I were just talking about how schools in Oregon do the opposite and how it just doesn’t make any sense. I can’t even imagine STARTING practice at 8 but I imagine that makes sense with the heat among other things.
March 24th, 2011 at 7:52 pmI should have read your comment. It makes so much sense. I get my little one up at 6:45 so she can sit at daycare until 1pm for her 2 1/2 hours of kindergarten. sheesh!
March 24th, 2011 at 7:53 pmnow THAT was an entertaining anecdote. Of course, all your stories are just that. Always been jealous of R-Rock’s school schedules. In Houston the high school starts at 725 and the little kids start later. ABSURD.
March 24th, 2011 at 8:45 pmLove it! Love reading about your daily antics!
March 24th, 2011 at 11:08 pmIt’s either laugh or kill them, right?
I have to say I thought the same thing about the school start at first. Ours is the opposite with the big kids going first, but then I figured your district was all smaht and looked at those studies about teens and later start times.
March 25th, 2011 at 7:09 amYour kids have a great (and evil) sense of humor. I like that.
The family next door has their one ditzy blond son too (while everyone else has dark-ish skin and hair). He’s the happy-go-lucky, friendly one too. Maybe it IS a genetic thing!
March 25th, 2011 at 9:29 amI also have a blonde 18 year old son. He is the smartest of the 4, but the one with the least common sense!
March 25th, 2011 at 9:50 amLoved that story. I pay a lot of my blond hair too!
March 25th, 2011 at 9:51 amVery funny. My two blonds aren’t old enough yet to know if they will be space cadets or not.
March 25th, 2011 at 10:25 amFun post, you are amazing
March 25th, 2011 at 10:32 amHAHA This is hysterical!!!
Also, been meaning to e-mail you, I LOVED the day in the life photo series - thinking of doing another one soon? I know the photos might be the same, LOL, but it was so much fun to read!
March 25th, 2011 at 11:57 amThis is so funny, but I don’t want to laugh at your son. ::muffled laughter::
March 25th, 2011 at 12:12 pmAlex/Chris - It’s just the opposite here in KY, our middle/high schools go in earlier and elementary later. I would like your way. By the time I get off work and we eat, do homework and take baths there’s not much time before my 5 yr. old’s bedtime.
March 25th, 2011 at 12:23 pmToo funny! Is it the blonde that uses the brain power on the dimples that drain it?
P.S. As I sit here in the freezing cold, overcast, windy Pacific Northwest, I can’t help but miss Texas in the spring. Enjoy it for me, would you?
March 25th, 2011 at 2:11 pmOurs do the same opening thing. The only thing that is the problem here is that it means after school high school stuff runs late, late, late!
Oh, and I’m in the same boat as you, height wise. Only the 10 year old is shorter than I am. And that will only last for another year or two.
March 25th, 2011 at 2:27 pmCutest story ever. So funny!
March 25th, 2011 at 3:38 pmYeah, I have one of those, too. She even walked into a wall once, because something shiny caught her eye. I swear the most common sense things escape her.
March 25th, 2011 at 6:05 pmMy 20yo daughter’s official sorority hoodie has her sorority nickname embroidered across the back - you guessed it, “Space Cadet”!
March 25th, 2011 at 8:00 pmI needed this laugh tonight. Thanks to you and your son.
March 29th, 2011 at 7:28 pmLaughter is the absolute BEST mortar to hold a family together - in good times and in hard times!
Keep laughing!
March 30th, 2011 at 3:56 pm