Our Thanksgiving Tagline
November 23, 2011
The other night we were eating dinner and my 10 year old son was telling us that at school that day they were learning about persuasive writing. They had to write a letter pretending that they were a turkey trying to persuade people not to eat them this Thanksgiving. Which is kind of a disturbing assignment. I prefer to think of my turkey as having no feelings, or even a head. I like to think it sprung full grown wrapped in plastic with a little thermometer sticking out of its chest.
Miles stood up on his chair and very excitedy said, “I know what I’d say if I were a turkey!”
We all looked at him. “What? What would you say if you were a turkey?”
And that adorable, blonde haired, dimpled little boy shouted, “Don’t eat me, you bastards!”
The rest of us were silent for a minute, wondering if we had heard right. So we asked again…
“DON’T EAT ME, YOU BASTARDS!”
I don’t think a Thanksgiving will ever pass in our family again without someone shouting, “Don’t eat me, you bastards!” And it will never cease to be funny.
I’m just thankful that it was a fifth grade school assignment and not a first grade one.
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Have been reading you for years-rarely comment–BUT that is HYSTERICAL! Nothing like a family tagline. Happy Thanksgiving
November 23rd, 2011 at 6:39 pmThis is pure awesome!
November 23rd, 2011 at 7:14 pmThanks for shraring that. Totally made me smile this evening.
November 23rd, 2011 at 7:33 pmFan-freaking-tastic. That kid is a pistol.
November 23rd, 2011 at 7:37 pmMy first grader just had to do that same assignment. He told the farmer “pig would taste better”.
November 23rd, 2011 at 7:49 pmOMG — out of the mouths of babes. Give that boy a hug for me — I love his take on a turkey.
November 23rd, 2011 at 8:38 pm:roflmao: Priceless!!!!
November 23rd, 2011 at 8:40 pmMaking memories! Love it!
November 23rd, 2011 at 8:40 pmCrack me up! So classic. I may even say it at our table tomorrow!
November 23rd, 2011 at 8:58 pmcan’t. breathe. laughing. too. hard. !!!
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:21 pmThat’s hilarious. Best Thanksgiving story ever!
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:23 pmThat’s hilarious!! I very much wish right now that we, in Australia, celebrated Thanksgiving, just so I could use that line.
November 23rd, 2011 at 9:46 pmHahahahahahaha! That Miles will always be so funny!
November 23rd, 2011 at 10:31 pmThat is so fantastic I can’t even think straight. Ah, from the mouths of babes!
November 23rd, 2011 at 11:05 pmTHAT made me cry with laughter!
November 23rd, 2011 at 11:06 pmThank you Miles and thank you Chris for posting this. Tomorrow I am going to sit down with my soon to be x-H, some of his family, and some of my children who are not on other continents and think over and over “Don’t eat me, you bastards!” and I am going to like thinking it.
November 23rd, 2011 at 11:36 pmOh my! Too funny. I will be telling that story tomorrow. Love that Miles!
November 23rd, 2011 at 11:57 pmmiles is AWESOME!
November 24th, 2011 at 12:57 amlol gotta love that kid
November 24th, 2011 at 1:44 amThat is awesome. I can just imagine the uproar of laughter at your table –
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful family.
November 24th, 2011 at 2:47 amWhew…wiping away tears!
November 24th, 2011 at 8:01 amkids say the darnedest things…that is hilarious.
November 24th, 2011 at 9:46 amLOL, LOL, OMG I’m dying here! I love you Miles. Happy Thanksgiving.
November 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pmYeah, nothing quite says Thanksgiving like, “DON’T EAT ME, YOU BASTARDS!” That has to be the best Thanksgiving story I’ve ever heard!
November 24th, 2011 at 1:13 pmHilarious! This made my entire morning.
November 24th, 2011 at 1:37 pmAs soon as I finished reading this I was looking for the LIKE button
Thanks for the laugh! Happy Thanksgiving!
November 24th, 2011 at 3:47 pmThat was priceless, I laughed my head off at work and everyone must have thought I had lost my mind. Actually “bastard” was my favourite swear word growing up but it had such humph behind it. Your little one is wonderful and I too will laugh every Canadian Thanksgiving just thinking of him. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Enjoy your bird.
November 24th, 2011 at 4:54 pmI too like to think that they aren’t REAL turkeys. But Miles is too funny. I can just imagine him doing that and everyone just sitting stunned for a moment. Love it!
November 24th, 2011 at 8:37 pmROTFL! I LOVE IT!
November 25th, 2011 at 1:46 amOh my! I just laughed so hard I scared the cats. I may have to steal that line. Miles is great!
November 25th, 2011 at 7:13 amha! Boy, how this post made my day! I love the comments that come out of the mouths of the youngest children. Things that would have shocked you to your core if they were said by your oldest are only hilarious coming from your youngest! I’m a huge fan of that Miles!
November 25th, 2011 at 11:15 amThat was terrific, I almost spit out my coffee
November 25th, 2011 at 11:53 amThat is hilarious!! He crack’s me up!
November 25th, 2011 at 12:06 pmI literally LOL. I love it! I’m going to steal it. Too stinking funny. Thanks for sharing.
BTW DON’T EAT ME YOU BASTARDS!bwahahaha
November 25th, 2011 at 12:37 pmI will never look at a turkey the same again. And I will be laughing. Out loud. This, was hilarious!
November 25th, 2011 at 12:50 pmHAHAHAHA *donk*
Now how on earth can I let my 5 year old learn that accidently? I am thinking that it will make Christmas lunch a lot more interesting. I have managed to get him to roll his eyes and say ‘Oh gawd!’ oh and somebody has taught him about ‘What the…?’ although he doesn’t actually say anything where the dots are which is good because that kind of lunch might be a bit more tricky to sell to the in-laws
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours though you bastards
November 25th, 2011 at 1:09 pmI laugh about this every time I think about it!! This is one of those things that your kids will be sharing w/ your grandkids at family dinners years from now!!
November 25th, 2011 at 3:08 pmOh. My. Gosh! That child…….gotta love him!
November 25th, 2011 at 5:59 pmbest family story EVER!!! what a laugh you will have over the years to come! HAH!!
November 25th, 2011 at 6:35 pmI love this story. I’m 13 year solder than my youngest sibling and I remember how appalled some of her friend’s parents were at her precocious knowledge of pop culture, questionable language, etc. She’s 30 now and a PhD chemist, so no permanent damage was done!
November 25th, 2011 at 8:47 pmThat may be one of the funniest things I’ve read in awhile! LOL
November 25th, 2011 at 8:54 pmlove it!
November 25th, 2011 at 8:58 pmours for this year- scene: driving to my brothers for dinner. Overheard my 17yr son to my grandsons “NEW RULE! NEW RULE! no picking each other’s nose in Gramma’s back seat!”
That is hysterical! We have some lines that have becomes classics in our house, too. That’s a great one.
November 25th, 2011 at 10:27 pmOh My. that might just stick with me for a few Thanksgivings. Can’t stop laughing enough to type. Hope you enjoyed that turkey.
November 26th, 2011 at 4:07 pmOMG, I choked on my drink.. lol. Having several little ones right around Miles’ age, I can just imagine the shocked reaction we’d experience if that happened here.. lol.
November 27th, 2011 at 11:29 amoh my - I have got to learn to not read you while eating breakfast - I almost spit on my computer laughing… That will be a family saying forever!
November 28th, 2011 at 9:04 amFunny, Funny, Funny.
November 28th, 2011 at 10:52 amThat is too damn funny! ;P Man, you make me realize how human we all are - as my 3yo has picked up a few of my worst habits and proclamations. LOL!
Hugs!
November 28th, 2011 at 1:31 pmBest Holiday Sentiment. EVER.
November 28th, 2011 at 3:25 pmMy family still says at every single holiday “It’s a holiday dammit, lets all pretend to like each other for 2 damn hours”. Ah, my mother’s most mothering moment.
November 28th, 2011 at 4:42 pmJust hilarious!
November 28th, 2011 at 6:00 pmI keep coming back to this and laughing even harder!!!
November 28th, 2011 at 8:06 pmOh My Goodness…
November 29th, 2011 at 10:54 amI was having such a bad day.
Until I read about Miles!
I am still smiling…
Thank, Miles for making an old Lady’s day.
Classic!
November 30th, 2011 at 4:32 amJust made me laugh out loud! Hilarious!!!
November 30th, 2011 at 6:51 pmNow that made me snort coffee all over my laptop, but oh it was worth it!!!
December 4th, 2011 at 5:25 pmThis made me laugh so much. I love it!
December 7th, 2011 at 2:12 pm