I Know, My Life is Too Exciting
May 24, 2012
Last summer there was a drought here. I’m sure I mentioned it a few million times. And my sprinkler system stopped working, so even the limited amount that we were alowed to water I wasn’t able to. I tried (half-heartedly) keeping the lawn alive by watering it with a hose. But in the end this spring found me with a yard of dirt with the occassional patch of weeds. All of the plants and flowers in front of the house died. Every last one. It was such an eyesore.
I kept getting letters from the Home Owner’s Association, but as I told them, I refused to put in new grass as long as there was still watering restrictions.
Also I found out that grass is freaking expensive. EXPENSIVE. I honestly had no idea. I mean, it is just grass.
I decided that my children didn’t need both kidneys.
The first thing the kandscaper did was take all the top layer of weeds and soil away. And spread new soil all over the yard. It amused me immensely when my neighbors asked at the end of the day what I my plan was for the yard and I said, “Oh, just this,” while doing a sweeping arm motion. Most of them didn’t know what to think, because given the state of my yard before this I guess anything is within the realm of possibility.
And one morning I looked out and saw this going on.
Well, I knew they were coming. It’s not like men just showed up on the front lawn and began installing what appear to be grass carpet squares. Though how awesome would that be!
And now I have this. (Well, I also have plants and flowers too, but I have thus far neglected to take a photo)
Hallelujah. It’s like a green carpet.
I am also fitting my children with shock collars so that they don’t walk across the grass or the flower beds.
Before the landscaper left he set up the sprinkler system and gave me instructions on how to hand water the flowers once a month with miracle grow. I don’t think that he fully understands the depth of laziness and general loathing of all things gardening related. I am trying to convince myself that gardening is my new hobby. I keep repeating to myself, “I love gardening. I love going outside and digging in the dirt! And splashing myself on the legs with the hose while watering plants. And sweating. I love sweating! Gardening FTW!!!”